NationStates Jolt Archive

As a trade emblamer, this topic fascinates me to no end. Tell me, do you want to be buried or cremated? Why?

You didn't leave the third option! Frozen! Regardless of whether it works, I'd like to be frozen. mainly because it's expensive, inconsiderate, and would be quite the sight to see at a wake, what with the comedy capsule with clear door and all.

but on the other hand.... Cremation. I wouldn't like to be buried. And if you weren't dead originally, you're definitely going to be.

But on a slightly more serious and true note, none of the above three. I fully intend to donate my body to science.

I would wish to be buried.
Actually, there are very few cremations here. I guess we have enough land for buriels, so it's not a problem.

I plan to have my body preserved and my brain kept in a jar until brain walkers are invented(unless they are invented by then).

If you don't know what I mean by a brain walker: The brain is basically attached to a robot that moves for the brain. Nutrients are delivered through osmosis.

I don't want to waste space with my useless corpse. Seriously...graveyards are just weird...scatter me to the four winds!

"Burial or cremation?"

Neither. Eventually I want my remains to be given a military funeral, but before that, when I get to the point where it's obvious that my physical health is failing beyond hope of recovery, I intend to put on a little backpack and wander out into North Carolina's Nantahala Forest. My sons have instructions to come retrieve my bones after about a month for the military funeral. This was a folkway of the Nez Perce Indians, among others: when the older members of the Tribe felt they could no longer make a contribution to the Tribe's welfare, they would just wander out into the woods, never to be seen again. :)

Any and all viable organs donated. Any others useful to research donated. The rest cremated - why take up space and loads of money?

You didn't leave the third option! Frozen! Regardless of whether it works, I'd like to be frozen. mainly because it's expensive, inconsiderate, and would be quite the sight to see at a wake, what with the comedy capsule with clear door and all.

but on the other hand.... Cremation. I wouldn't like to be buried. And if you weren't dead originally, you're definitely going to be.

But on a slightly more serious and true note, none of the above three. I fully intend to donate my body to science.

i left cryogenics out on purpose. i felt that if a person truly wanted this, they would think of on their own. if i put it in the poll, i would have a million guys saying things like - " frozen, then crushed in the blender, and used as ice cubes in the drinks at my favorite bar" etc.
by the time the embalmer gets to you...believe me, we KNOW you are dead. ;)
your donation is appreciated. i would have never made it through mortuary school with out generous whole body donations.

Definitely not buried. I don't want maggots eating my brain. I'd like to have my body ground into tiny pieces, scooped into a small brown leather bag, and then have the bag thrown into a vat of acid.

Burn me please.

then I can't come back as a zombie

Burn me please.

then I can't come back as a zombie
Really? Zombie was my disposal method of choice.

Really? Zombie was my disposal method of choice.
Really? Why?

I plan to have my body preserved and my brain kept in a jar until brain walkers are invented(unless they are invented by then).

If you don't know what I mean by a brain walker: The brain is basically attached to a robot that moves for the brain. Nutrients are delivered through osmosis.

i hope you have the $$$$$$ for that option. one key point- your brain would not be in a jar, the preservative chemicals would delete any life function. it would be on ice.

I want to be buried so my adoring public will know where I am.

Um....I don't really care what happens to my body. Because.......I'll be DEAD. Tear me asunder. Burn my remains in town square. Throw me in a lake. Beat my body with clubs. I can't care, because I'll be dead. ;)

Um....I don't really care what happens to my body. Because.......I'll be DEAD. Tear me asunder. Burn my remains in town square. Throw me in a lake. Beat my body with clubs. I can't care, because I'll be dead. ;)
well, then, consider donating it to science :D

"Burial or cremation?"

Neither. Eventually I want my remains to be given a military funeral, but before that, when I get to the point where it's obvious that my physical health is failing beyond hope of recovery, I intend to put on a little backpack and wander out into North Carolina's Nantahala Forest. My sons have instructions to come retrieve my bones after about a month for the military funeral. This was a folkway of the Nez Perce Indians, among others: when the older members of the Tribe felt they could no longer make a contribution to the Tribe's welfare, they would just wander out into the woods, never to be seen again. :)

this is actually pretty cool. you better hope no one else finds you first! put a note in your backpack.

No embalming, cremation. Honestly I'm against the need for your work! Making the dead look pretty? How vain can humanity get? When I'm dead I hope I look obviously dead. I don't like to deceive people, not even when I'm dead.

Really? Why?
It would really mess with people's heads.

Definitely not buried. I don't want maggots eating my brain. I'd like to have my body ground into tiny pieces, scooped into a small brown leather bag, and then have the bag thrown into a vat of acid.i hope you find a person who follow your instructions to the letter! otherwise, you may end up in a pink suede gucci purse, in a five gallon bucket of Clorox in your girlfriends garage..."he said, like, something about a purse... and like, isn't bleach an acid? It totally ate holes in my white capris last time i soaked them!"

I would like to have a cremation and the ashes thrown to the winds. That way no one could pay lip service at a supposedly special place. I want to live on in thoughts, not as a few square feet of earth "where Granddad lies".

I'd prefer to be frozen, for future revival. Anyone cuts off my head and stores it in a separate container will be haunted harshly :D

I want to donate my body to a necrophiliac's house.

No embalming, cremation. Honestly I'm against the need for your work! Making the dead look pretty? How vain can humanity get? When I'm dead I hope I look obviously dead. I don't like to deceive people, not even when I'm dead.

the funeral, as american traditions go, has basically become a place for the mourners to get some final peace, not the decedent.i respect your view, but for everyone at your funerals sake, i hope you let "me " at least cover the discolarations. ;)

I want to donate my body to a necrophiliac's house.

a house with just one necrophiliac? or , like, a bordello for those who love the dead too much? and you didn't specify male or female....

necrophiliac? What's that?

necrophiliac? What's that?
a person who likes to fuck dead corpses

Really? Zombie was my disposal method of choice.
awesome! i heard those zombies pull in a nice check. have you found the perfect swamp to rise out of yet?

necrophiliac? What's that?

Someone who REALLY likes dead people.

a person who likes to fuck dead corpses
to put it, you know, nicely.

No fancy stuff. Scatter my ashes at sea.

I don't care, male or female. I wont be feeling anything. But it would be better if it was a necrophiliac ward or condo or some hugely populated place, so I could get passed around like currency.

a person who likes to fuck dead corpses
I have such urges.... :hmm:

EDIT: Sometimes, that is ;)

this is actually pretty cool. you better hope no one else finds you first! put a note in your backpack.

Thanks. :)

I plan to have all sorts of identification, plus the telephone numbers of my sons.

I don't care, male or female. I wont be feeling anything. But it would be better if it was a necrophiliac ward or condo or some hugely populated place, so I could get passed around like currency.

i guess RL isnt going to well? ;)

Cremation.

Because I'm a firm believer in utter oblivion, when I go, I want to be gone. I don't want there to be a single trace of me ever existing.

Of course, that will be a tad difficult what with official documentation and everything, but a guy can dream, right?

Cremation.

Because I'm a firm believer in utter oblivion, when I go, I want to be gone. I don't want there to be a single trace of me ever existing.

Of course, that will be a tad difficult what with official documentation and everything, but a guy can dream, right?

or you could just throw yourself to the piranhas.... :)

I'm amazed no one has said a Viking funeral. have slaves build a giant ship for your body, they place you and every possession you have in it, set it on fire and cast it out to sea. Oh, and Thor (I think it was) will throw in a midget at the last minute.

I'm amazed no one has said a Viking funeral. have slaves build a giant ship for your body, they place you and every possession you have in it, set it on fire and cast it out to sea. Oh, and Thor (I think it was) will throw in a midget at the last minute.
i am glad no one has said that.. my kind of sort of bf is from norway, and i have heard every detail. no midget though.. he just wants some unspoiled beauties.

Burn me and scatter me on Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine or on my family's property. If I die young, I want someone to play the Dropkick Murphy's rock and roll version of Amazing Grace (traditional bagpipe first verse, rockin' electric guitar joins after that) and I want people to drink a few beers and dance around doing stupid shit like I'd want them to had I been alive.

My funeral would be a circus kinda deal. Complete with clowns, ring toss and midgets. I want people to forget I'm dead (won't be hard either way :) ) At my funeral, I want the song "Another one Bites the Dust" by Queen to play over and over.

Burn me and scatter me on Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine or on my family's property. If I die young, I want someone to play the Dropkick Murphy's rock and roll version of Amazing Grace (traditional bagpipe first verse, rockin' electric guitar joins after that) and I want people to drink a few beers and dance around doing stupid shit like I'd want them to had I been alive.
what happens if you die old? no music?

My funeral would be a circus kinda deal. Complete with clowns, ring toss and midgets. I want people to forget I'm dead (won't be hard either way :) ) At my funeral, I want the song "Another one Bites the Dust" by Queen to play over and over.
this guy, i love . read his prior posts.

the ring toss would involve WHAT? :eek:

I wanna be burnt underground

Or I could just be burnt on the floor and start a large brushfire here in So. Cal, taking away thousands of homes and about 15 other people with me.

As a trade emblamer, this topic fascinates me to no end. Tell me, do you want to be buried or cremated? Why?

Well I would want to be buried at sea. Really!

Nobody here seems to give much of a thought for the poor ol' worms... I and my countryfolk are mostly in concurrence when we assert that it'd be nice to provide one bloody meal for a load of otherwise socially stigmatised creepies, crawlies and things that go squelch in the ground.

I wanna be burnt underground

Or I could just be burnt on the floor and start a large brushfire here in So. Cal, taking away thousands of homes and about 15 other people with me.
key- rist. i hope you end on my prep table. :)

Nobody here seems to give much of a thought for the poor ol' worms... I and my countryfolk are mostly in concurrence when we assert that it'd be nice to provide one bloody meal for a load of otherwise socially stigmatised creepies, crawlies and things that go squelch in the ground.
the worms! do it for the worms! i love the idea , actually. your RL country or your NS ?

Sadly, only my NS country.

Personally, I'd be more than happy to extend the whole principle, and turn the whole post death experience into a great, evolving performance art/educational experience, and have people slowly munched in large pits, filmed, so as to spare the more delicate observer the more unsavoury olfactory elements of decomposition. But hey, why not see some beauty in our final dissolution? And what better way to come to grips with our undeniable mortality?

As a trade emblamer, this topic fascinates me to no end. Tell me, do you want to be buried or cremated? Why?

I don't know yet. How do YOU want to be buried? And what makes you interested in death and made you choose to be an embalmer?

I'd like to be 'Sploded.

Ka-Bloom!!

Sadly, I recognise that getting to grips with the finite span of our existances is somewhat galling for quite a lot of us, and this compounded by the spectre of seeing a large earthworm seeping from the gently moulding eye socket of granny, pretty much convinces me that my casual whims are not always to be pushed into general civil governance...

I'd like to be 'Sploded.

Ka-Bloom!!

Cool...

Will you be filming?

I'd like to be 'Sploded.

Ka-Bloom!!

You should do it by jumping in the ocean with a few hand grenades tucked in your bathing suit. It would make a really pretty fountain! just don't hurt the fishies

You should do it by jumping in the ocean with a few hand grenades tucked in your bathing suit. It was make a really pretty fountain! just don't hurt the fishies
Yeah, don't hurt the fishes,

Feed them.

key- rist. i hope you end on my prep table. :)
I'm sorry, you want me on your table?

Yeah, don't hurt the fishes,

Feed them.

yes, great, bite-sized pieces, rright?

precisely. In fact, that's probably a rather better idea than my worm fetish... less icky smells, and think of the eco-systems you'll be supporting... from the humble hagfish to the majestic marlin, from krill to the blue whale...

all chomping on your sweetbread, or the newly fattened versions of each other...

I want to be buried. I am afraid that if I was cremated, some clumsy person would knock over my jar and I would spill all over the carpet. then I would end up in the vaccuum, and I don't want that. :(

yes...when you're about to die, fatten yourself up with rice of something else vegetarian and when you are deathly obese go ka-boom! and then splat...and then munch for the fishies. .......hee hee hee this is kinda funny......

:D i want to go out in a massive explosion followed by a huge inferno. (that'd be the nothing left choice.)

There's a scientist/artist currently touring around - can't for the life of me remember his name (sorry), who has developed a method for plastinating bodies. Basically, by removing all liquid from the body during a rather complex embalming process, and replacing it with a malleable plastic, he preserves all organd and bodily features perfectly, down to a cellular level. I've been to his exhibition, and it's utterly fascinating, seeing human bodies with a level of intimacy that not the most inspiring or comprehensive scientific textbook or educator could otherwise afford.

So why not bow out like that? Apparently Bjork's signed up to be done when she pops her clogs...

For myself I could care less. After a few years no body visits graves or niches anyway.

For those left behind they are a touchstone. The funeral & such is for them anyway so bury me next to my wife - embalm as required by local law.

I want my remains to be launched into the sun. So I guess that counts as cremation...

Okay, I don't want either. I want my corpse to be thrown into the middle of the Autobahn with cameras set up around it so my friends can watch the excitment! I should at least give my friends some fun for after I die!!! :p

My own particular preference currently is cremation. If my body isn't going to have to sit around long, then I don't think any embalming is really necessary.

Of course, once I die I won't really have much of an opinion on the matter, will I? So unless I leave specific instructions in my final request, anything could happen.

If you'd like to see observations on this and other topics dealing with death, I highly recommend the book The Undertaking: Tales of the Dismal Trade by Thomas Lynch. It's an excellent work that gives insight on things from an actual undertaker's point of view.

I don't know yet. How do YOU want to be buried? And what makes you interested in death and made you choose to be an embalmer?
me. funny you ask. i want to be embalmed, by John Syder, who is the best in the business. lay me out for a couple days, have a huge bacchanalian fest, then bury me. upside down, in my most favorite seaside graveyard in my hometown back in massachusetts.
i actually knew from about 8 or 9 years old that i wanted to be an embalmer. i have been fascinated by death artistry and its accompanying acruements since a child. i love my job, it is challenging, rewarding, and i meet the most interesting people.....there is nothing like the shock /amazement/appreciation that you get from a decedents family. especially when there was a violent or disfiguring death. it lets them grieve easier, if there is any such thing.

Sadly, I recognise that getting to grips with the finite span of our existances is somewhat galling for quite a lot of us, and this compounded by the spectre of seeing a large earthworm seeping from the gently moulding eye socket of granny, pretty much convinces me that my casual whims are not always to be pushed into general civil governance...
there is always the complicated guy.. ;)

I'm sorry, you want me on your table?

prep table. where i fill your veins with Dodge #74. i live in a brush area in So. Cal, and i rather like my house!

Complicated?

Suppose I've been called worse.

There's a scientist/artist currently touring around - can't for the life of me remember his name (sorry), who has developed a method for plastinating bodies. Basically, by removing all liquid from the body during a rather complex embalming process, and replacing it with a malleable plastic, he preserves all organd and bodily features perfectly, down to a cellular level. I've been to his exhibition, and it's utterly fascinating, seeing human bodies with a level of intimacy that not the most inspiring or comprehensive scientific textbook or educator could otherwise afford.

So why not bow out like that? Apparently Bjork's signed up to be done when she pops her clogs...
Gunther von Hagen. http://www.koerperwelten.com/en/pages/plastination.asp
check it out.

My own particular preference currently is cremation. If my body isn't going to have to sit around long, then I don't think any embalming is really necessary.

Of course, once I die I won't really have much of an opinion on the matter, will I? So unless I leave specific instructions in my final request, anything could happen.

If you'd like to see observations on this and other topics dealing with death, I highly recommend the book The Undertaking: Tales of the Dismal Trade by Thomas Lynch. It's an excellent work that gives insight on things from an actual undertaker's point of view.

great book! although, most undertakers nowadays sell burial plots and fancy funeralia. I am a true trade embalmer, dealing only with the preservation and presentation of dead bodies.

Okay, I don't want either. I want my corpse to be thrown into the middle of the Autobahn with cameras set up around it so my friends can watch the excitment! I should at least give my friends some fun for after I die!!! :p

can i be your friend? :p

I want to be thrown off a highway overpass into oncoming traffic. Please aim for a PT crusier or a Mazda Miata. If somebody is willing to do this, they can keep whatever change they find in my pockets.

y'all are so behind the times
and must not watch network news

cutting edge people today are paying $60k to get MUMMIFIED. although considering how hard it is to getsomeone to keep your ashes on their mantle, how would you find someone to keep your sarcophagus??

other people are getting their ashes made into diamonds or just putting ashes into lockets so you can keep your loved ones with you always

id just like to be cremated. it doesnt bear THINKING about but its quick, cheap and takes less space.

A PT Cruiser or Miata? I better tell my mom not to take the highways when you die.

I want to be thrown off a highway overpass into oncoming traffic. Please aim for a PT crusier or a Mazda Miata. If somebody is willing to do this, they can keep whatever change they find in my pockets.
i will do it, but i want to mess up some guys brand new BMW

y'all are so behind the times
and must not watch network news

cutting edge people today are paying $60k to get MUMMIFIED. although considering how hard it is to getsomeone to keep your ashes on their mantle, how would you find someone to keep your sarcophagus??

other people are getting their ashes made into diamonds or just putting ashes into lockets so you can keep your loved ones with you always

id just like to be cremated. it doesnt bear THINKING about but its quick, cheap and takes less space.
they also sell blown glass globes with ashes swirled in the middle, clear plastic injection molded bird bathes with the ashes through out, and my favorite- a keychain, filled with the dust of grandma.

I would want my body put in a rocket and shot to Mars so that I could be the first man on Mars.

But since I'll probably never have the money for such a venture (or there might already be a first man on Mars), I would rather be cremated and then have my remains buried with a flower seed.

I would want my body put in a rocket and shot to Mars so that I could be the first man on Mars.

But since I'll probably never have the money for such a venture (or there might already be a first man on Mars), I would rather be cremated and then have my remains buried with a flower seed.
we get many requests to do this. unfortunatley, cremains are highly acidic in nature, so you really have to mix in a lot of dirt and mulch.

Anglo-Saxon Burial.

But on a slightly more serious and true note, none of the above three. I fully intend to donate my body to science.

This guy (or girl) has the right idea.

Either donate your body to science, or have it cremated.
We've already wasted enough land filling it up with dead bodies...

Burial or cremation?
What about donation?

I don't know what I want done with my body. Hopefully that is still far away. If die young and healthy(that was oxymoronic), I do want my organs donated for transplants.

Either donate your body to science, or have it cremated.
We've already wasted enough land filling it up with dead bodies...

shall i deliver you to Dr Mengele personally? sarcasm...... as you know ;)

What about donation?

I don't know what I want done with my body. Hopefully that is still far away. If die young and healthy(that was oxymoronic), I do want my organs donated for transplants.
as i said to Jordaxia about cryogenics, if a person wants that option, they will think of it themselves. as a poll choice, i don't feel that people would be 100% behind the decision.they would just see it and say... "yeah, science! cool"

I've always planned to donate my body. Let them use anything they need for transplants, and play with the rest. What the hell do I care what they do with it when I'm gone. Let it help somebody. I'm bipolar, maybe letting them dissect my brain will help them understand it better. And I damn sure don't want my family paying a mint for a funeral. Let them have a wake, get drunk, and tell stories about all the stupid things I did.

I've always planned to donate my body. Let them use anything they need for transplants, and play with the rest. What the hell do I care what they do with it when I'm gone. Let it help somebody. I'm bipolar, maybe letting them dissect my brain will help them understand it better. And I damn sure don't want my family paying a mint for a funeral. Let them have a wake, get drunk, and tell stories about all the stupid things I did.
a wake, with you present? by the way, i don't think medical students do too much playing. they actually name the subjects, and keep all their private parts covered.and i have been called to many a med science hall to do makeup and hair on a decedent so they look nice until they get to the cranial opening.

Since my wife vetoed the idea of being creamated and having my ashes scattered over Heather Locklear, I guess I'll donate my body to science.

they also sell blown glass globes with ashes swirled in the middle, clear plastic injection molded bird bathes with the ashes through out, and my favorite- a keychain, filled with the dust of grandma.
Weird
"see that birbath"
"yeah, it's kind of dirty"
"no, thats grandma"
"oh"
*shudders*

Since my wife vetoed the idea of being creamated and having my ashes scattered over Heather Locklear, I guess I'll donate my body to science.

sprinkled dry, or mixed with whiskey and made into a sort of paste, that she can use as a facial?

The body means nothing after death. Whatever is cheapest.

Weird
"see that birbath"
"yeah, it's kind of dirty"
"no, thats grandma"
"oh"
*shudders*

"she loved pigeons, you know!"

The body means nothing after death. Whatever is cheapest.
with the rising price of everything these days, it would be cheaper if you stayed alive. ;)

with the rising price of everything these days, it would be cheaper if you stayed alive. ;)

"Dispite the high cost of living, it is amazing how popular it remains."

"Death and taxes may be inevitable, but at least death doesn't get worse every time that Congress meets."

sprinkled dry, or mixed with whiskey and made into a sort of paste, that she can use as a facial?

LOL

can i be your friend? :p

Of course!!! :p