NationStates Jolt Archive

I used to 'pull sickies' far too often, and gave it up years ago; but last week I just didnt feel like coming to work. What do I tell my boss today? Why havent I answered his calls? Why wasnt I in? Anyone got any really good excuses(used or unused) I can try out?

just tell him that you went mad, but that your ok now. (don't forget the last bit!)

Whats that physics principle, the one where you can only travel distances by halving them, there for never actually reaching that point? Say you couldn't come in because of that.

If you didn't show up for a week and didn't call I imagine you don't have a job anymore. I don't know of a job that would keep someone after that kinda nonsense....

Or you could say you where arrested for an old Failure to Appear and remanded for 8 days when you went to go take care of it, but "keep it under your hat cause you're kinda embarrased."

Tell him the truth first, and then he might believe that you've gone mad.

Just tell him you had to spend your time on ns. he'll understand. :D

Make sure you haven't been off work for so long that you need some sort of certificate from a medical professional.

A few days off can usually be justified by a stomach bug or flu - something that you can't really take to work but not something that requires a doctor to diagnose. My favourite is claiming that I gave myself food poisoning with my own crappy cooking. People believe it because it makes me look stupid when they usually come up with something clever and therefore they think it's true.

I was willing to work when I was attacked by an aardvark...strange but true, look at the funny hickies on my leg! %#$%#$%-I'd have killed it, if it weren't so cute. Does our company have disabilaty?

No half measures! Tell the boss that the dog ate the homework...bad idea, drink a bottle of NyQuil (You'll sound/experience -dumb). Don't do that - =go back to the aardvark story!

Born by 5 days late . . . . things been a bit slow since?
Just found out boss is in Spain. May have got away with it!?!?

I was willing to work when I was attacked by an aardvark...strange but true, look at the funny hickies on my leg! %#$%#$%-I'd have killed it, if it weren't so cute. Does our company have disabilaty?

May have to use that one. For the record, how big was the aardvark?

I used to 'pull sickies' far too often, and gave it up years ago; but last week I just didnt feel like coming to work. What do I tell my boss today? Why havent I answered his calls? Why wasnt I in? Anyone got any really good excuses(used or unused) I can try out?

What you describe is a sign of a depression. If this is a serious topic I suggest you get some basic psychiatric counselling - from your work counselor or your home physician e.g.

I have one! Its a joke I heard.
Employee: Boss, I can't come in to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Employee: I have a vision problem.
Boss: sounds bad, whats wrong?
Employee: I just can't see myself at work today!

I have one! Its a joke I heard.
Employee: Boss, I can't come in to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Employee: I have a vision problem.
Boss: sounds bad, whats wrong?
Employee: I just can't see myself at work today!

Employee: Boss, I cant come into work today, I'm sick.
Boss: Again? Youve been sick for the last 2 weeks!
Employee: I know, but this time its really bad!
Boss: Well just how sick are you?
Employee: Im in bed with my sister.

I suppose you have go bribe some doctor to make a dodgy doctor's certificate :D

Man.. I Don't think you can keep your work for skipping 8 days. If I knew someone like that I'll be honestly pissed.

Unless you do call in mental. And maybe you should just visit a shrink. You could be suffering from some mild depression.

Sometimes it's really hard to get out of bed and go to work, especially if the workplace is unbearable. :( Chin up ya? Probably time to search for a new job.

When in doubt turn to the simpsons
"It's a religious holiday, uh... Saint... Maximum Occupancy Day." <sic?>

Tell your boss you had been detained indefinatley as a suspected terrorist. Also bring a suspicious looking package to work strapped to your back. Your boss won't fire you as he'll be too scared in case of the repercusions.

If you live in the UK then your employer has a duty of care to you as his employee, as such if you are suffering from depression, and it sounds like you might be, then he cannot justifiably fire you, unless your only temporary staff. Go to the doctor, to get this confirmed.
If you don't live in the UK your situation may be different, I'm not sure!

Tell your boss you had been detained indefinatley as a suspected terrorist. Also bring a suspicious looking package to work strapped to your back. Your boss won't fire you as he'll be too scared in case of the repercusions.

Now thats what Im talking about!

Here goes - wish me luck.

If you live in the UK then your employer has a duty of care to you as his employee, as such if you are suffering from depression, and it sounds like you might be, then he cannot justifiably fire you, unless your only temporary staff. Go to the doctor, to get this confirmed.
If you don't live in the UK your situation may be different, I'm not sure!

Woooooooow!!!!! If I hadn't considered it before, I certainly am now! Thanks for the concern.

Employee: Boss, I cant come into work today, I'm sick.
Boss: Again? Youve been sick for the last 2 weeks!
Employee: I know, but this time its really bad!
Boss: Well just how sick are you?
Employee: Im in bed with my sister.
Political Correctness is Arse Hat.
If you call that being PC then id hate to see what you had before*

*What i really mean is it could have been funnier so please show the original post. ;)

Political Correctness is Arse Hat.
If you call that being PC then id hate to see what you had before*

*What i really mean is it could have been funnier so please show the original post. ;)

Originally Posted by Tribaljamin
Employee: Boss, I cant come into work today, I'm sick.
Boss: Again? Youve been sick for the last 2 weeks!
Employee: I know, but this time its really bad!
Boss: Well just how sick are you?
Employee: Im in bed with my 12 year old sister.

Better?

Originally Posted by Tribaljamin
Employee: Boss, I cant come into work today, I'm sick.
Boss: Again? Youve been sick for the last 2 weeks!
Employee: I know, but this time its really bad!
Boss: Well just how sick are you?
Employee: Im in bed with my 12 year old sister.

Better?
Yes but NO :D

I can't belive no one's come up with this: Tell him someone close to you died and elaborate the story to meet your needs.
As an added bouns you'll get sympathy and a day off work for the "funeral"

Well, I was an idiot and got fired from my job. Stupid high stress, high emotional stress, subconcouse feelings, and just all round high school senior stress. If i was in your situation I would tell my boss that I got hit with mono, and that i joined some sorta high maintenance club/hobbie/thing and be like sorry

I can't belive no one's come up with this: Tell him someone close to you died and elaborate the story to meet your needs.
As an added bouns you'll get sympathy and a day off work for the "funeral"
doesnt work if you have a nosy boss. i have had people look for obituaries in the newspaper. and yes, because of my profession, i always get individuals who ask me to "write a note" for them. totally sick. you have to get a job that you like.

doesnt work if you have a nosy boss. i have had people look for obituaries in the newspaper. and yes, because of my profession, i always get individuals who ask me to "write a note" for them. totally sick. you have to get a job that you like.

My ex-husbands boss asked for a death certficate.

My ex-husbands boss asked for a death certficate.
i can believe it. people ask me for the copy of the patho report. even of someone they dont know. they have no clue that that is NOT what the funeral home gives you when a relative dies :D