NationStates Jolt Archive

Here is my website (http://www.mattdowell.8k.com) , i write in my spare time. There are two short stories and numerous poems, read them if you can spare the time, each of the stories are less than one page each and the poems are generally around 25 lines. I hope you enjoy them, and tell me what you think :)

I didn't read the content, but I will say that the blue on black is kind of difficult on my eyes.

I didn't read the content, but I will say that the blue on black is kind of difficult on my eyes.


would you rather me copy them and paste them in a reply?

The sound of rain lightly pounding on the windows, my mind goes back, I scarcely remember it. It was a night like this as dark and dreary, but my soul was abounding with unquenchable joy. I had experienced life like I never had before. I remember it well now, her face was outlined by the dank light protruding from the lamp, having just been laden with a blanket of light rain, the beads upon her face glistened with every movement. The flawless smile constantly appearing as the murmur of conversation continued for hours. My heart raced at the thought of love, I wanted to scream. As the night droned on, the atmosphere caught a severity, and it seemed as if the rain began to fall again. I could not feel my feet, I could not feel my hands, all I felt was my heart, the rhythmic beating, seemed to send a livening sense of joy throughout my entire being. Our eyes could not be broken, my mind began to wander, and as I dreamily walked into the abyss, I knew. The light was enough for me to memorize her every blemish, at which I was utterly pleased that such a creature as her actually existed.
The sun began to show itself, and quickly after our attention was toward the dawn of a new day. Tears began to stream down her face and they seemed to let out a sad note as each hit the floor. I quickly turned to comfort her and eased into another conversation. Time had run out, but I wanted to continue this moment forever. This was life. I finally understood the reason. I had now accepted God’s plan and began to plunge into it wholeheartedly. Her hair was draped over her hands like a curtain, so beautiful. Her eyes were sparkling as she leaned back; this left me in awe. I began to feel a slight twinge in my cheek and quickly covered it up with a smile. We held each other and were completely pleased just being in each other’s presence. I had never completely understood the thought of being completely and utterly happy meant, until this night.
My eyes began to droop heavily, for I had not gotten any sleep, and she, my beautiful was already soundly asleep against my shoulder. I quickly opened my eyes, for I did not want to miss a single second of her gorgeous figure, over and over my eyes seems to be reading. I glanced up at the clock with fear of what time it was. Time was up, and I heard the miserable steps heading down the corridor. I did not want to wake her, the last image I wanted in my mind was of her, in her complete nirvana. I heard the clank of keys, and the grinding of the door opening. I slowly arose, gently lowering her onto the bench, and a small kiss departed from my lips. I slowly stepped out of the cell. The guard stepped in to awake my beauty.
“No,” I said almost inaudibly, “Let her sleep.” Tears came to my eyes as I said this, and I glanced back right before I stepped through the door, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The sun was shining brightly in the room, her hair reflected the light in such a way, and she seemed golden.
I had begun my journey, of course not with these intentions, just to serve my God. The thought of the current never crossed my mind. A slight prick in my arm and I began the steady decline of consciousness. Darkness began to avail over my eyes, but was shortly after replaced by an indescribable light. “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” My body was overwhelmed and I felt the utmost warmth.



thats one of them

blue on black is a no no

ugh!

The sound of rain lightly pounding on the windows, my mind goes back, I scarcely remember it. It was a night like this as dark and dreary, but my soul was abounding with unquenchable joy. I had experienced life like I never had before. I remember it well now, her face was outlined by the dank light protruding from the lamp, having just been laden with a blanket of light rain, the beads upon her face glistened with every movement. The flawless smile constantly appearing as the murmur of conversation continued for hours. My heart raced at the thought of love, I wanted to scream. As the night droned on, the atmosphere caught a severity, and it seemed as if the rain began to fall again. I could not feel my feet, I could not feel my hands, all I felt was my heart, the rhythmic beating, seemed to send a livening sense of joy throughout my entire being. Our eyes could not be broken, my mind began to wander, and as I dreamily walked into the abyss, I knew. The light was enough for me to memorize her every blemish, at which I was utterly pleased that such a creature as her actually existed.
The sun began to show itself, and quickly after our attention was toward the dawn of a new day. Tears began to stream down her face and they seemed to let out a sad note as each hit the floor. I quickly turned to comfort her and eased into another conversation. Time had run out, but I wanted to continue this moment forever. This was life. I finally understood the reason. I had now accepted God’s plan and began to plunge into it wholeheartedly. Her hair was draped over her hands like a curtain, so beautiful. Her eyes were sparkling as she leaned back; this left me in awe. I began to feel a slight twinge in my cheek and quickly covered it up with a smile. We held each other and were completely pleased just being in each other’s presence. I had never completely understood the thought of being completely and utterly happy meant, until this night.
My eyes began to droop heavily, for I had not gotten any sleep, and she, my beautiful was already soundly asleep against my shoulder. I quickly opened my eyes, for I did not want to miss a single second of her gorgeous figure, over and over my eyes seems to be reading. I glanced up at the clock with fear of what time it was. Time was up, and I heard the miserable steps heading down the corridor. I did not want to wake her, the last image I wanted in my mind was of her, in her complete nirvana. I heard the clank of keys, and the grinding of the door opening. I slowly arose, gently lowering her onto the bench, and a small kiss departed from my lips. I slowly stepped out of the cell. The guard stepped in to awake my beauty.
“No,” I said almost inaudibly, “Let her sleep.” Tears came to my eyes as I said this, and I glanced back right before I stepped through the door, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The sun was shining brightly in the room, her hair reflected the light in such a way, and she seemed golden.
I had begun my journey, of course not with these intentions, just to serve my God. The thought of the current never crossed my mind. A slight prick in my arm and I began the steady decline of consciousness. Darkness began to avail over my eyes, but was shortly after replaced by an indescribable light. “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” My body was overwhelmed and I felt the utmost warmth.


thats the other one

blue on black is a no no

ugh!

im sorry, i'll probably change it on my next few hours of free time.... probably next weekend.

interesting reads there.

I started with the poetry, it wasn't that bad, but it seemed to lose its rhythm, perhaps you could rewrite them, adding some differnt words and such, to mean the same, but to also keep the rhythm and balance.

The first story I started reading was in first person, so I didn't read it, I don't like 1st person writings, though not to say its bad, just not my thing

The second one seemed to use He, His, and Him, a bit too much, and it seemed the sentances were cropped a bit, not quite full enough per sentance.

Good detail, though perhaps a more flowing detail could be found.

Not bad lump of writings though, keep it up, and always keep re-reading them. Often times you will find a better way of getting your point across the more times you read it, and you can revise it.

oh and the poems are short but if you want me to do the same on those, i guess i could.

im sorry, i'll probably change it on my next few hours of free time.... probably next weekend.

No need to apologise!

interesting reads there.

I started with the poetry, it wasn't that bad, but it seemed to lose its rhythm, perhaps you could rewrite them, adding some differnt words and such, to mean the same, but to also keep the rhythm and balance.

The first story I started reading was in first person, so I didn't read it, I don't like 1st person writings, though not to say its bad, just not my thing

The second one seemed to use He, His, and Him, a bit too much, and it seemed the sentances were cropped a bit, not quite full enough per sentance.

Good detail, though perhaps a more flowing detail could be found.

Not bad lump of writings though, keep it up, and always keep re-reading them. Often times you will find a better way of getting your point across the more times you read it, and you can revise it.


thank you, i appreciate your time.

thank you, i appreciate your time.
no problem, I enjoy reading other peoples writings. At least I was able to finish yours, I've met a lot of people that don't even have enough to hold my interests, lol.

You have some good ideas and concepts, just have to refine them a bit.