American History cagematch...
Winston S Churchill
23-01-2005, 03:52
*Ok now, of all the American Presidents, which two would you most like to see in an all-out cage-match brawl on Monday! Monday! Monday!?
And don't decide based on one you dislike, base it upon the two that would make the best match and give the audience their money's worth..
Oh, and which melee weapons would you give each man?
Volunteeria
23-01-2005, 03:55
Teddy Roosevelt vs. Franklin Roosevelt
Teddy may have more military experience, but I suspect that Franklin was actually a cyborg, so it would be an interesting match.
Kecibukia
23-01-2005, 03:56
*Ok now, of all the American Presidents, which two would you most like to see in an all-out cage-match brawl on Monday! Monday! Monday!?
And don't decide based on one you dislike, base it upon the two that would make the best match and give the audience their money's worth..
Oh, and which melee weapons would you give each man?
Teddy Roosevelt w/ a big stick and Eisenhower w/ a KBar.
Flamebaittrolls
23-01-2005, 03:58
George Bush I Vs George Bush II
Their melee weapons would consist of broken whisky bottles.;) Family grudge match! My money is on Bush Sr, though I hear Bush Jr has more experience with wiskey bottles. :p :D
Andaluciae
23-01-2005, 03:59
George W Bush I Vs George W Bush II
Their melee weapons would consist of broken whisky bottles.;) Family grudge match! My money is on Bush Sr. :p :D
George W. Bush I and George W. Bush II? I only know of one George W. Bush, but there is George H. W. Bush as well...
I'd like to see Taft versus Arthur. That would be qual-e-tay.
Flamebaittrolls
23-01-2005, 04:01
Teddy Roosevelt vs. Franklin Roosevelt
Teddy may have more military experience, but I suspect that Franklin was actually a cyborg, so it would be an interesting match.
*Walks up to betting counter* I'd like a tenner bet on FDR thanks. ;)
Winston S Churchill
23-01-2005, 04:03
*Walks up to betting counter* I'd like a tenner bet on FDR thanks. ;)
A more valid question, does FDR's wheelchair have bladed spinners on its wheels ala Ben Hur?
Flamebaittrolls
23-01-2005, 04:12
A more valid question, does FDR's wheelchair have bladed spinners on its wheels ala Ben Hur?
Yes, and it's drawn by flesh eating horses! Teddy's got no chance!:D
Winston S Churchill
23-01-2005, 04:13
Yes, and it's drawn by flesh eating horses! Teddy's got no chance!:D
Unless Theodore has a big stick, and uses his teeth...then all bets are off
Bogstonia
23-01-2005, 04:24
The ultimate matchup:
Abraham Lincoln V George Washington
The Mega Powers Collide!
Abraham was an experienced amateur wrestler and natural babyface. George Washington is....well, George Washington, isn't that enough?
Cage matches rule!
Free Soviets
23-01-2005, 04:31
zack taylor vs rutherford b. hayes! the grudgematch to end all grudgematches!
and
taft vs fdr - cripple against guy stuck in a bathtub!
Bitchkitten
23-01-2005, 04:33
Taft and anybody. He'd just have to sit on 'em.
Custodes Rana
23-01-2005, 04:33
George Bush Jr. vs Richard Nixon
Steel Cage Match
Baseball bats
Pay-per-view, of course!
Itchyakneesa
23-01-2005, 04:38
Dubya and JFK
Johnny boy's got the youth advantage, and they're both ex-military (or so one says). they both had cedar 3x3's
North Island
23-01-2005, 04:40
George Washington w/Shillelagh vs. Zachary Taylor w/Tomahawk
Zahumlje
23-01-2005, 04:48
Hmmm, I think I'd like to see Ronald Reagan vs George Washington. George Washington had considerable real life wilderness skills, both guys were tall and had great equestrian skills so maybe a nice pay-per-view cage joust would be the ticket, they could be armed with lances and swords, and small pistols.
get a good rooting section going for each guy and I think it would be a hella good time!
Free Soviets
23-01-2005, 04:52
Taft and anybody. He'd just have to sit on 'em.
not easy if he was stuck in the whitehouse bathtub
Stormforge
23-01-2005, 04:55
You're all forgetting the obvious tag-team match:
John and Q. Adams vs. George and W. Bush
Steel cage! Barbed wire! No holds barred!
Free Soviets
23-01-2005, 05:05
You're all forgetting the obvious tag-team match:
John and Q. Adams vs. George and W. Bush
Steel cage! Barbed wire! No holds barred!
don't forget about ben harrison and grandpappy bill
Tzorsland
23-01-2005, 05:12
Teddy Roosevelt vs. Franklin Roosevelt
That reminds me of a recent trip to the New York State Capitol in the city of Albany. In the meuseum there is a car used by Franklin Rosevelt, specially modified so that he could drive it. Next to it was a bust of Teddy.
My friend who was with me at the time thought it was exceptionally ironic as Teddy and Franklyn were not what you would call the "best of friends." In fact Teddy hated Franklyn.
JFK versus Abe, definitely.
They can also compare exit wounds for the crowd's entertainment. Garfield can make a guest appearance.
Bono is the Messiah
23-01-2005, 05:29
Woodrow Wilson vrs George Bush Senior for the lightweight championship.
Nureonia
23-01-2005, 05:32
William Henry Harrison vs. Warren G. Harding.
THE USELESS FIGHT OF THE MILLENIUM
Bogstonia
23-01-2005, 05:39
So how many of you guys are pro wrestling fans then?
Patra Caesar
23-01-2005, 05:52
So how many of you guys are pro wrestling fans then?
I was when I lived with my parents, but that stopped when I was 19. Now I can't afford cable so now WWF, Raw as war or WCW for me!:(
Bogstonia
23-01-2005, 06:07
No WCW for anyone anymore :(
Winston S Churchill
24-01-2005, 05:30
My personal match would have to be Teddy Roosevelt vs. Abraham Lincoln... Theodore having his big stick and Honest Abe having a sledgehammer... it'd be the brawl of the century.
Shortest vs. Tallest
Madison (5’4”) vs. Lincoln (6’4”)
Youngest vs. Oldest
Teddy Roosevelt (42 when assumed office) vs. Reagan (78 when left office)
Least vs. Greatest Presidential Experience
William Harrison (died after serving one month) vs. FDR (elected four times, served 13 yrs.)
…and on the undercard, Vice Presidential Sex Romp
Slave Sex – Male vs. Female
Richard M. Johnson, Martin Van Buren’s VP (took three slaves as wives over the years, and had sexual relations with several others of his slave women)
vs.
William Rufus de Vane King, Franklin Pierce’s VP (rumored to have had sex with male slaves on his plantation, like to wear dresses, Andrew Jackson called him "Miss Nancy," rumored to have been James Buchanan’s lover)
I'd go with two titans of the American presidency...
Millard Fillmore vs. Martin Van Buren!
Robbopolis
24-01-2005, 09:56
Anybody seen SNL's "The X-Presidents"? It hilarioous. Nixon -- "I am not a crook. I'm a killing machine."
Vittos Ordination
24-01-2005, 10:05
King Of The Cage (http://www.brandonbird.com/kingofcage.html)
http://www.brandonbird.com/abe_small.jpg
Adrian Barbeau-Bot
24-01-2005, 10:12
this one is a no brainer - the badass, tough ulysses s grant vs. andrew jackson
i would pay to see that.
Winston S Churchill
24-01-2005, 23:08
I love that painting, it actually inspired this thread..
And that is exactly how I would think a cagematch with Lincoln involved would turn out.