NationStates Jolt Archive

It seems people want light-topic threads so heres one we can all talk about.

Being a computer programmer, I love computers.
Anyone else love computers?
Anyone hate them?
Do you like your computer, or do you hate it?
Is you're computer an amazing piece of technology, or is it a piece of junk?
Tell us your best computer stories (usually involving dumb people).
Tell us your computer specs (if you happen to know them).

And, if you've named your computer, whats his/her name.
My computer's name is Tom.

yea its called lots of things, ranging from "piece of shit" to stuff alot worse

It seems people want light-topic threads so heres one we can all talk about.

Being a computer programmer, I love computers.
Anyone else love computers?
Anyone hate them?
Do you like your computer, or do you hate it?
Is you're computer an amazing piece of technology, or is it a piece of junk?
Tell us your best computer stories (usually involving dumb people).
Tell us your computer specs (if you happen to know them).

And, if you've named your computer, whats his/her name.
My computer's name is Tom.
I love computers. My current computer is a piece of junk, but it works. That's why I got it. I figured that it would motivate me to fix my desktop. I'll have to save my stories for later, but my computer's name is localhost.

my computer's name is localhost.

LMAO

My computers name is Sydney, she is a shining example of computer excellence.

I named my computer Casper...who here gets the joke?

I named my computer Casper...who here gets the joke?
its a friendly ghost?

My computer is called stealthy (or wheezy) tortoise.

its a friendly ghost?
nope

nope
damn

that would have been cool...

Of course my computer has a name. The network demands it!

:P

"Lean, Mean, World Domination Machine"

Of course my computer has a name. The network demands it!

:P
lol
Of course it has a name for that kind of thing, but I wanna know if you named it like a person. I'm building a new computer for myself in a few months because my current one is almost 2 years old. I'm not sure if I should name it Tom (named after my current one), or give it a different name. Hopefully this thread will generate some ideas for names.

Of course my computer has a name. The network demands it!

:P
That's how mine got its name.

That's how mine got its name.

You actually call your computer "localhost?" lol

lol
Of course it has a name for that kind of thing, but I wanna know if you named it like a person. I'm building a new computer for myself in a few months because my current one is almost 2 years old. I'm not sure if I should name it Tom (named after my current one), or give it a different name. Hopefully this thread will generate some ideas for names.

Computers are just tools. I didn't name my chainsaw either, although there have been times when I've wanted to use one on the other...

Computers are just tools. I didn't name my chainsaw either, although there have been times when I've wanted to use one on the other...
Throwing a computer at a chainsaw doesn't sound like it'd do much.

:D

Computers are just tools

Just tools? you better hope it didnt hear you! lol
It may give you the blue screen of death

Just tools? you better hope it didnt hear you! lol
It may give you the blue screen of death


It knows who the boss is. lol.

It knows who the boss is. lol.

true, when mine starts acting up I threaten him with a format and he settles down. lol

Mine doesn't have an official name, I'm thinking of "Damn slow-ass, obselete piece of crap" but that seems a little long.

My computers name is lappy. I don't have a computer. I have a laptop.

My computers name is lappy. I don't have a computer. I have a laptop.

Lappy LOL
that just made my day, thanks. :)

Erm...

The Christmas Goose.

I named my computer Casper...who here gets the joke?

Yeah, I got the reference.

Well... my old computer's name was "The lead box", which seemed fitting since it must have weighed at least 50kg. Try carrying that any distance.

My new computer is sofar nameless. I'll need to look for something creative to call it now...

My computers name is lappy. I don't have a computer. I have a laptop.

Your laptop isn't a computer?

what is it?

an etchosketch?

:p

It seems people want light-topic threads so heres one we can all talk about.

Being a computer programmer, I love computers.
Anyone else love computers?
Anyone hate them?
Do you like your computer, or do you hate it?
Is you're computer an amazing piece of technology, or is it a piece of junk?
Tell us your best computer stories (usually involving dumb people).
Tell us your computer specs (if you happen to know them).

And, if you've named your computer, whats his/her name.
My computer's name is Tom.

I love my computer, its a very nice one. Its blue, and has blue and green lights. It has 5 fans and a thermometer.

P4 3.0 HT
200 GB 7200 RPM
2 GB DDR PC3200
ATi 9600XT 256 MB

My computer has a name mostly because its part of a network its name is James (after the person that uses it). and I like it except when it goes slow even after reformatting :headbang:

some amusing quotes about computers and their (usually stupid) users

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. - Joe Martin

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. - Farmers' Almanac

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

If builders built houses the way programmers built programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization. - Gerald Weinberg

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. - Roberta Wilensky

My computer has a name mostly because its part of a network its name is James (after the person that uses it). and I like it except when it goes slow even after reformatting :headbang:

some amusing quotes about computers and their (usually stupid) users

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. - Joe Martin

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. - Farmers' Almanac

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

If builders built houses the way programmers built programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization. - Gerald Weinberg

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. - Roberta Wilensky


good quotes, i'll have to remember those ones

"Mr. Nipples"
no particular reasoning behind it being named that, but it worked

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

can i use this one as my sig

mine is called bob
but its really called phil after its user

System Specs
Intel Celeron 2.50 GHz
40GB DDR Hard Disk
256 Mb DDR Ram
Intel Extrem Grapfics Card

my machine is a labtop with out a mouse just a touch pad

can i use this one as my sig

mine is called bob
but its really called phil after its user

System Specs
Intel Celeron 2.50 GHz
40GB DDR Hard Disk
256 Mb DDR Ram
Intel Extrem Grapfics Card

my machine is a labtop with out a mouse just a touch pad

YOU, my friend, are running some really standard s***. I have:

Intel Pentium 4 with HT
240 GB Seagate with 8 mb cache
NVIDIA Geforce 6800 GT PCI Express 528MB DDR3
Creative Sound Blaster Audigy 2 ZS 7.1 HD Audio

Being a computer programmer, I love computers.

Before I can disclose that information (my computer's moniker), I must ascertain whether you are really a fellow programmer. As a programmer, what is your opinion on java?

This actually happened to one of my mom's coworkers in tech support (lets call him Bob)
Woman: Hello, I can't get my computer to turn on. No matter what I do the screen stays black.
Bob: Okay, make sure your monitor is plugged in.
Woman: It is.
Bob: There's some other wires I'm going to need you to check, if you can look behind your CPU.
Woman: No, I can't do that.
Bob: Why not?
Woman: It's too dark, I can't see back there.
Bob: Then turn on a light.
Woman: I can't, the power is out.
Bob:*pauses*
Bob: Okay, here's what I want you to do. I want you to unplug your monitor and put everything back in the boxes they came in and send them back to the retailer with a note that says I'M TOO FUCKING STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!

Computers are just tools. I didn't name my chainsaw either, although there have been times when I've wanted to use one on the other...

I don't think your computer would do much damage to your chainsaw. I'll help you try though.

Mine doesn't have an official name, I'm thinking of "Damn slow-ass, obselete piece of crap" but that seems a little long.
Sorry, taken.

Before I can disclose that information (my computer's moniker), I must ascertain whether you are really a fellow programmer. As a programmer, what is your opinion on java?

Mmmmm.....java.......
When I was in college we learned mostly java. It's alright I guess, we used a compiler called BlueJ which really sucked ass. The first few years they had us coding these dumb little programs without a GUI, we could only run them from inside BlueJ. Needless to say we were all pretty pissed. Especially because one of our teachers was from India and no one could understand her. That class become known around campus as "Jawa." lol

But I prefer web programming languages like Perl and PHP.

My computers have had a variety of names...

My first was called Miranda, then Miranda-ii.

This one's called Halcyon.

Yes I love computers.

"Mr. Nipples"
no particular reasoning behind it being named that, but it worked

Nothing to do with the band of the same name, then?

I just call my computer "my computer". Simple, gets the job done. :p

YOU, my friend, are running some really standard s***. I have:

Intel Pentium 4 with HT
240 GB Seagate with 8 mb cache
NVIDIA Geforce 6800 GT PCI Express 528MB DDR3
Creative Sound Blaster Audigy 2 ZS 7.1 HD Audio
meh i got Athlon 64 3300+ (dont ask, apparently it doesnt exist)
512mb ram (another 256 i have to install here)
and 128 vid card, but its shared memory so i need to find a new 128mb card from some one who is getting a new card or something cuz im broke

Before I can disclose that information (my computer's moniker), I must ascertain whether you are really a fellow programmer. As a programmer, what is your opinion on java?

This actually happened to one of my mom's coworkers in tech support (lets call him Bob)
Woman: Hello, I can't get my computer to turn on. No matter what I do the screen stays black.
Bob: Okay, make sure your monitor is plugged in.
Woman: It is.
Bob: There's some other wires I'm going to need you to check, if you can look behind your CPU.
Woman: No, I can't do that.
Bob: Why not?
Woman: It's too dark, I can't see back there.
Bob: Then turn on a light.
Woman: I can't, the power is out.
Bob:*pauses*
Bob: Okay, here's what I want you to do. I want you to unplug your monitor and put everything back in the boxes they came in and send them back to the retailer with a note that says I'M TOO FUCKING STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!

Sorry but that story has been around for at least 8 or so years.....the original story was that it was Compaq tech support and the lady user was in Chicago.

My laptop is called FOAD

My Compaq box is called CARROT

My Fijitsu Siemens is called CYA

My homebuilt box is called ARGH

My other homebuilt box is called BUGGER

My Router DSL switch is called HOME

None of them are high powered machines or anything....in fact my PIII 750 IBM Stinkpad is the most powerfull of the lot! LOL

My computer didn't have a name until I saw this thread. Now I've decided to call it Rupert.

Mine's called MOTHMAN

Mmmmm.....java.......
When I was in college we learned mostly java. It's alright I guess, we used a compiler called BlueJ which really sucked ass.
Heh, java is actually the bane of my existence. The syntax is just so illogical it makes me want to puke.
Anyways, I call her Enos.

I call my laptop 'Reboot'. It's named after it's favorite thing to do.
It's either that or 'Bastard of a Thing'.

Nothing to do with the band of the same name, then?
Whoa, there's a band called Mr. Nipples?
Just because of their name, I'll have to buy their music. And a T-shirt!

Whoa, there's a band called Mr. Nipples?
Just because of their name, I'll have to buy their music. And a T-shirt!

Are you still here! Get a life! :D

:fluffle:

Yes, I like my computer. A lot.

Dual 1.8 GHz G5
Radeon 9600 (128Mb VRAM)
1 GB DDR
160 GB HD

My TI-83+ Silver Edition's name used to be Archimedes (idea inspired by the movie "Pi"). But then one day someone stole it. Oh the days of woe. But since then I have declared myself independant of calculators and try to do everything by hand, although I have enlisted a TI-30X II to help ease the blow.

My whole network consists of computers named after philosophers, my computer is named Nietzsche :)

My whole network consists of computers named after philosophers, my computer is named Nietzsche :)

When I worked for a company I named all the servers after Greek Gods....then when we ran out of those it was the Romans turn...then it was Greek poets, Roman poets .... urgh then it got hard to think of names! LOL

then the company went tits up :(

Anyone else love computers?
yes

Anyone hate them?
nope - im studying them for college so must like them

Do you like your computer, or do you hate it? #
like it - even if it can be a lil sluggish at times

Is you're computer an amazing piece of technology, or is it a piece of junk?
errrrrmmmm its not amazing as such but its not crap either

Tell us your best computer stories (usually involving dumb people).
............

Tell us your computer specs (if you happen to know them).
2.4ghz intel celeron processor
256MB DDR RAM
30 gig hard drive
cd/rw combi drive
bulit modem/ethernet card

"Mongrel" before it's made up a parts from several older computers.

AMD K6 350 CPU (not your normal CPU!)
4x and 32x CD-ROM
64 MB of RAM (EDO-RAM, the slow variety. 4 x 16Mb sticks)
2 x 2Gb hard drives (the new ones died)
Dodgy 3.5" floppy drive
Windows 98 (original)

compared to my laptop

Intel P4 Mobile 1.7Ghz
DVD-ROM/CD burner combo drive
256 Mb RAM (DDR)
30Gb hard drive
Internal 3.5" floppy drive
Windows XP

YOU, my friend, are running some really standard s***. I have:

Intel Pentium 4 with HT
240 GB Seagate with 8 mb cache
NVIDIA Geforce 6800 GT PCI Express 528MB DDR3
Creative Sound Blaster Audigy 2 ZS 7.1 HD Audio

i just noticed this.

This my labtop is just for work i don't care if it powerful or not im just glad it runs Microsoft Office and since i don't come from money i can't afford a game machine and such i do play some games on it but they run fine even on max quilaty

people that can program bug the hell out of me. how did you get so damn smart, eh? i have no intricate knowledge of the Pc. all i do is go buy the second most expensive Toshiba laptop every two years. pretty ridiculous, but , at least i know it is fast. its a toshiba satelite A25-S207- pentium 4,40rw/dv p4-2.66 15x512m. thats what the sticker on the bottom says, not that i know what it means. i refer to it as "oh dark lord of the infrastructure" in a really ominous voice.

Had to post in here...

So, my computer is just a sh1tty piece of machinerry, so I didn't call him anything (yes, I did just refer to a sh1tty piece of machinery as "him", because only a person can screw up so royally).

However, to set it apart from all the other computers on the planet, I took it upon myself to abuse the monitor with a black permanent marker. Therefore, there are several grafittos on there, reading, respectively:

"Cthulhu lives"
"Burn.my.Eyes.Show.me.the.Truth"
"Here be Dragons"
"This side up" (obviously written upside-down on the left side)
"If you can read this, you're looking at the wrong side, idiot" (on the back of it)
"Ph'nglui inglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" (I have a thing for Lovecraft, and yes, I can pronounce that)
"Power button -- press for fun" (around the power button)

Here are my comp Specs:
------------------
System Information
------------------
Time of this report: 1/26/2005, 14:47:40
Machine name: SPENCERP
Operating System: Windows XP Home Edition (5.1, Build 2600) Service Pack 2 (2600.xpsp_sp2_rtm.040803-2158)
Language: English (Regional Setting: English)
System Manufacturer: HP Pavilion 061
System Model: PL382AA-ABA A706N
BIOS: Rev. 3.11
Processor: AMD Athlon(tm) XP 3000+, MMX, 3DNow, ~2.1GHz
Memory: 512MB RAM
Page File: 269MB used, 979MB available
Windows Dir: C:\WINDOWS
DirectX Version: DirectX 9.0c (4.09.0000.0904)
DX Setup Parameters: Not found
DxDiag Version: 5.03.2600.2180 32bit Unicode
---------------
Display Devices
---------------
Card name: NVIDIA GeForce FX 5500
Manufacturer: NVIDIA
Chip type: GeForce FX 5500
DAC type: Integrated RAMDAC
Device Key: Enum\PCI\VEN_10DE&DEV_0326&SUBSYS_00000000&REV_A1
Display Memory: 256.0 MB
Current Mode: 1024 x 768 (32 bit) (60Hz)
Monitor: Plug and Play Monitor
Monitor Max Res: 1600,1200
Driver Name: nv4_disp.dll
Driver Version: 6.14.0010.6693 (English)
DDI Version: 9 (or higher)
Driver Attributes: Final Retail
Driver Date/Size: 10/29/2004 16:50:00, 3736704 bytes
WHQL Logo'd: Yes
WHQL Date Stamp: n/a
VDD: n/a

i just noticed this.

This my labtop is just for work i don't care if it powerful or not im just glad it runs Microsoft Office and since i don't come from money i can't afford a game machine and such i do play some games on it but they run fine even on max quilaty


I'm upper middle class, and I worked to get my computer

YOU, my friend, are running some really standard s***. I have:

Intel Pentium 4 with HT
240 GB Seagate with 8 mb cache
NVIDIA Geforce 6800 GT PCI Express 528MB DDR3
Creative Sound Blaster Audigy 2 ZS 7.1 HD Audio

Are you saying you have a 528MB graphics card?

I don't hate computers so much as I don't trust them unless I explicitly told them what to do. As for "how explicit is 'Explicit,'" see naming.

The computer itself wasn't named. However, when I was learning Assembly, I (accidentally)* created an almost-AI to handle my E-mail, which I named Ample Sam (as it was a fucking dick, and I'd named my own the same thing back in HS). It failed to remain optimized while learning, crashed four computers on my school LAN, and I named the host computer in its honor. After replacing the hard disk to make sure it was gone.


2 Gig Ram, 250 Gig HD, 256 Mb Sound and Video, 17.1" flat panel LCD, 3.4 GHz, running XP professional and (as a parlor trick) Menuet (http://www.menuetos.org/) on a tiny partition of the HD, merely because it's interesting to talk about the first time a person sees it.


*LONG story- developed a GUI for a class program, decided it was too boring, and gave it a random sense of humor and more work to do. Add that an ASM program can change its own coding while running, and lower standards for the definition of AI to include "learns cuss words from context," and it's accidentally born.