Sun to be shut down
Dontgonearthere
20-01-2005, 04:17
This just in:
After ignoring numerous requests to put up "Warning: Hot" signs, the Sun has been declared an 'outlaw star' and will be shut down by a joint international operation.
The US will be spearheading the operation, and a team of United States marines has been sent with instructions to find the off switch.
Liberal democrats have begun to rally protests, declaring that the Sun is a soverign nation and thus has its own political rights and laws, but these arguements were shot down after it was pointed out that nobody lived on the sun.
The Environmentalist parties throughout the world were vehimently against the operation, saying that without the Sun our planet will suffer massive environmental damage, but they were unable to substanciate the claims.
Michael Moore has announced a that he plans to release Farenieht: 20,000,000,000 as soon as possible, to counteract the International Communities quoteunquote "Insane plan".
Most people are hailing this as a wonderful turn of events, saying that this is a step up for interstellar saftey, and enforing these rules will cause more stars to warn people of the potential burns they may suffer while venturing too close.
Next on the list, Jupiter has been issued a warning for failing to place 'Deep gravity well' signs around its area...
The Plutonian Empire
20-01-2005, 04:48
I think this should be in International Incidents...
Kiwicrog
20-01-2005, 05:52
I think this should be in International Incidents...Why? It seems to be a satire of all the crappy, funny warning signs on everything.
Corporate Infidels
20-01-2005, 06:06
Why? It seems to be a satire of all the crappy, funny warning signs on everything.
Yes. It is genius.
This just in,
All media organization channels have been sued by the FCC for failure to put "Warning: Freedom of the Press Zone" notices in their shows.
This just in:
After ignoring numerous requests to put up "Warning: Hot" signs, the Sun has been declared an 'outlaw star' and will be shut down by a joint international operation.
The US will be spearheading the operation, and a team of United States marines has been sent with instructions to find the off switch.
Liberal democrats have begun to rally protests, declaring that the Sun is a soverign nation and thus has its own political rights and laws, but these arguements were shot down after it was pointed out that nobody lived on the sun.
The Environmentalist parties throughout the world were vehimently against the operation, saying that without the Sun our planet will suffer massive environmental damage, but they were unable to substanciate the claims.
Michael Moore has announced a that he plans to release Farenieht: 20,000,000,000 as soon as possible, to counteract the International Communities quoteunquote "Insane plan".
Most people are hailing this as a wonderful turn of events, saying that this is a step up for interstellar saftey, and enforing these rules will cause more stars to warn people of the potential burns they may suffer while venturing too close.
Next on the list, Jupiter has been issued a warning for failing to place 'Deep gravity well' signs around its area...
*shudders*
DEATH TO NATURAL LIGHT!! *hiss*
*throws rocks at the sun*
Dontgonearthere
20-01-2005, 15:20
Damn, I was hoping somebody might take it seriously O_O
Neo Cannen
20-01-2005, 16:15
Next on the list, Jupiter has been issued a warning for failing to place 'Deep gravity well' signs around its area...
I think Jupiter is a special case. It puts them up but being a deep gravity well...
Cogitation
20-01-2005, 17:07
This just in:
After ignoring numerous requests to put up "Warning: Hot" signs, the Sun has been declared an 'outlaw star' and will be shut down by a joint international operation.
The US will be spearheading the operation, and a team of United States marines has been sent with instructions to find the off switch.
Liberal democrats have begun to rally protests, declaring that the Sun is a soverign nation and thus has its own political rights and laws, but these arguements were shot down after it was pointed out that nobody lived on the sun.
The Environmentalist parties throughout the world were vehimently against the operation, saying that without the Sun our planet will suffer massive environmental damage, but they were unable to substanciate the claims.
Michael Moore has announced a that he plans to release Farenieht: 20,000,000,000 as soon as possible, to counteract the International Communities quoteunquote "Insane plan".
Most people are hailing this as a wonderful turn of events, saying that this is a step up for interstellar saftey, and enforing these rules will cause more stars to warn people of the potential burns they may suffer while venturing too close.
Next on the list, Jupiter has been issued a warning for failing to place 'Deep gravity well' signs around its area...
These two sections directly contradict each other. If nobody lives on the Sun and the Sun itself is not sentient, then neither the Sun nor anybody on the Sun can ignore a request to put up a warning sign because there is noone there to ignore the warning. This international campaign is therefore fundamentally flawed in its motivation and should be abandoned forthwith.
--The Jovial States of Cogitation
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
...
Damn, I was hoping somebody might take it seriously O_O
Turning off the Sun is a little too easy to see through, as a gag. What you need is something as fancy-sounding as "Ban Dihydrogen Oxide", something that isn't obviously spotted as a gag from a casual glance. Unfortunately, the "Ban Dihydrogen Oxide" gag is a little too well-known, so you'd have to come up with something different.
--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."
Findecano Calaelen
20-01-2005, 17:33
Unfortunately, the "Ban Dihydrogen Oxide" gag is a little too well-known, so you'd have to come up with something different.
."
we'll see, damn that DiHydrogen oxide
HC Eredivisie
20-01-2005, 17:35
I Think I've spend too much time here, seeing as I already knew it :eek:
Andaluciae
20-01-2005, 17:51
Finally, my victory has arrived! Die Sun, DIE!
Newbish Delight
20-01-2005, 19:55
*Gives the Goblin Seal of Approval to Dontgonearthere"
Class.
Dontgonearthere
21-01-2005, 02:39
*bows*
Thank you, thank you all.
Except Cogitation.
*shakes fist*
I tried a fancy dihydrogen monoxide post...nobody could fall for it because a bunch of people who wanted to look clever posted what it was and declared the thread to be spam, despite my inclusion of a source, which is more than I can say for this thread :P
Super-power
21-01-2005, 02:41
Dude didn't we have a thread with this *exact* same article a while ago? o_o
Don't worry, DGNT. I thought is was funny.
Dontgonearthere
21-01-2005, 02:50
Dude didn't we have a thread with this *exact* same article a while ago? o_o
Yes, I made it when I was about 500 million pop. Long time ago and it was a differnt wording, I think its been purged by now though.
This just in:
After ignoring numerous requests to put up "Warning: Hot" signs, the Sun has been declared an 'outlaw star' and will be shut down by a joint international operation.
The US will be spearheading the operation, and a team of United States marines has been sent with instructions to find the off switch.
Liberal democrats have begun to rally protests, declaring that the Sun is a soverign nation and thus has its own political rights and laws, but these arguements were shot down after it was pointed out that nobody lived on the sun.
The Environmentalist parties throughout the world were vehimently against the operation, saying that without the Sun our planet will suffer massive environmental damage, but they were unable to substanciate the claims.
Michael Moore has announced a that he plans to release Farenieht: 20,000,000,000 as soon as possible, to counteract the International Communities quoteunquote "Insane plan".
Most people are hailing this as a wonderful turn of events, saying that this is a step up for interstellar saftey, and enforing these rules will cause more stars to warn people of the potential burns they may suffer while venturing too close.
Next on the list, Jupiter has been issued a warning for failing to place 'Deep gravity well' signs around its area...
genius
you are a douglass adams fan i assume DGNT?
DEATH TO NATURAL LIGHT!! *hiss*
*throws rocks at the sun*
*throws rocks at Kanabia*
Conceptualists
21-01-2005, 06:37
Damn, I got my hopes up. I thought this would be about the British tabloid.
Dontgonearthere
22-01-2005, 01:26
Damn, I got my hopes up. I thought this would be about the British tabloid.
I could link to a few random Guardian articles if it would make you feel better. Maybe something from Democracy now? I could get Skrapado to post the link to his Bush-Crystal ray article.
*throws rocks at Kanabia*
ooh.. can I join in?
Texan Hotrodders
22-01-2005, 10:29
I could link to a few random Guardian articles if it would make you feel better. Maybe something from Democracy now? I could get Skrapado to post the link to his Bush-Crystal ray article.
Was there actually an article on that? :eek:
Its too far away
22-01-2005, 10:29
These two sections directly contradict each other. If nobody lives on the Sun and the Sun itself is not sentient, then neither the Sun nor anybody on the Sun can ignore a request to put up a warning sign because there is noone there to ignore the warning. This international campaign is therefore fundamentally flawed in its motivation and should be abandoned forthwith.
Being sentient is not a requirement of ignoring something. In fact its a bit of a disadvantage. Ignore: To refuse to pay attention to; disregard. A rock can not pay attention to me better than almost anything. I supose it does depend on your interpretation of things though.
ooh.. can I join in?
*throws rock at Lapse*
of course, then we can all find some <insert sex attracted to here> and we can all have a big fluffle fest.
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
Ziggania
22-01-2005, 10:34
Phew, it's just a joke...
For a minute I thought you were talking about Sun Microsystems :P
Its too far away
22-01-2005, 10:37
Phew, it's just a joke...
For a minute I thought you were talking about Sun Microsystems :P
Hahaha when someone mentions Sun and you think of the company before the star you know that you need to go see the star a bit more. ;) ;)
*ducks from rocks, and runs up and kicks Branin and Lapse in the balls*
*ducks from rocks, and runs up and kicks Branin and Lapse in the balls*
*rolls on ground moaning*
Neo-Anarchists
22-01-2005, 12:36
I could link to a few random Guardian articles if it would make you feel better. Maybe something from Democracy now? I could get Skrapado to post the link to his Bush-Crystal ray article.
Ooh!
I think we all want that link.
*rolls on ground moaning*
*does what branin does*
*gets hand grenades*
*pulls pin*
*shoves down Kanabias throat*
b00m
http://www.andy-hawley.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/boom.gif
The Plutonian Empire
22-01-2005, 12:51
*does what branin does*
*gets hand grenades*
*pulls pin*
*shoves down Kanabias throat*
b00m
http://www.andy-hawley.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/images/boom.gif
Lol, lol, LOL!!! :D