NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome to The Thread of No Substance.

The only rule here is that nothing of substance can be posted, so with that in mind...

Have you ever noticed how Kit-Kats contain little to no cats?

this thread could use a few fake bible quotes

"And the Lord said unto Jesus, "Yea, I am He who is called I Am. Jesus, my son, go forth and spread my name across the land." Thus Jesus did as the Father commanded, and spread the name Iams across the land, into the food bowls of household pets."

this thread could use a few fake bible quotes
You could use a life...

Oh wait! I just violated my own rule...

You could use a life...

Oh wait! I just violated my own rule...
You could use a butt plug

Its just like Seinfeld



1000!

You could use a butt plug
So could I, but I don't really feel like it right now.
:p

Its just like Seinfeld



1000!
Yay!

I bet you this thread will have cause such an imbalance that we'll end up with some substance with no thread here.

Have you ever wondered why goldfish are gold and not brown?

Have you ever noticed how Kit-Kats contain little to no cats?

yes. Do you notice that you never see an old man eating a Twix

Have you ever wondered why goldfish are gold and not brown?
all the time, why is it?

Anyone ever notice that Mars bars taste awful if you've run for a while?

Anyone ever notice that Mars bars taste awful if you've run for a while?

When you run? Tastes nasty n e way

yes. Do you notice that you never see an old man eating a Twix

I've seen one nibbling provocatively on a time-out, but never a twix

The most useful thing in the world is nothing... that is, the absence of 'stuff'.

Have you ever wondered why goldfish are gold and not brown?

if they were really gold they would sink

if they were really gold they would sink

Ships can float.

Ever noticed that it's always the green egg in the fridge that makes you ill? Never the brown/white ones.

Ships can float.

Some can't. :(

why do people put drinks on the edge of a table?

Ships can float.

gold ones can't

that's the truth.

it's a fact

Ever noticed that it's always the green egg in the fridge that makes you ill? Never the brown/white ones.

Actually, I've found that it's the other way 'round. :confused:

why do people put drinks on the edge of a table?

If I put a pint further in on thetable I bang my elbow which hurts like a bitch. Also I get lonely if my drink is too far away ;)

why do people put drinks on the edge of a table?

Less distance to reach than if they were in the centre, I suppose. ;)

Ever noticed that it's always the green egg in the fridge that makes you ill? Never the brown/white ones.

I'm allergic too egg so they all make me ill

I'm allergic too egg so they all make me ill
I'm allergic to ill, so they all make me egg.
That's just in my personal experience, though.

If I put a pint further in on thetable I bang my elbow which hurts like a bitch. Also I get lonely if my drink is too far away ;)
theres a novel idea around of holding on to it and give it a cuddle but then it gets warm

I'm allergic to ill, so they all make me egg.
That's just in my personal experience, though.
Yay! :D

If I put a pint further in on thetable I bang my elbow which hurts like a bitch. Also I get lonely if my drink is too far away ;)

It also makes more sense than putting it on the roof, or under the chair. :p

Confucious say - Man who throw pen at rotten egg is making a stink.

Confucious say - Man who throw pen at rotten egg is making a stink.

Confucious(sp?) say - Man spurting hot air should take cold shower.
:D

It also makes more sense than putting it on the roof, or under the chair. :p

You see people here is a person of wisdom :)

Confucious(sp?) say - Man spurting hot air should take cold shower.
:D

Confucius. :)

Confucious say - Man who throw pen at rotten egg is making a stink.

Depending on how far the egg is thas a bloody good shot

You see people here is a person of wisdom :)

I'd like to think so. :D

Across a room, small egg, I ran like hell :D

YAY I killed the cat :D

I'd like to think so. :D
you think therefore you are *nods*

gold ones can't

that's the truth.

it's a fact

What about gold-plated?

YAY I killed the cat :D
plenty more where that came from.


lets make some catsoup

It gets a +3 bonus to sailing.

Then along comes a Gigantic Radioactive LastOfItsKind Movie Iceberg.

Ooops.

Too much Munchkin :p

Confucius. :)
I knew that!
Or not.

:cool:
^---This is Confucius.

What about gold-plated?

Probably, sounds like it might

lets make some catsoup

Let's make some Kit-Kats with actual cat in them

Probably, sounds like it might
Ask Confucius, he's terribly wise, or so I hear, and he could probably clear it right up with a spot of wisdom!

Let's make some Kit-Kats with actual cat in them
Just don't make the cat in it Katganistan, because that would bring m0dz0r wrath down upon our heads.

Let's make some Kit-Kats with actual cat in them
we will get sued, ahhh what the hell the gags worth it

What about gold-plated?

Depends how fat the captain is.

Depends how fat the captain is.

Fat people can float too.

How about a gold plated fat person with a piece of sheet metal wedged between their buttcheeks as a rudder?

Fat people can float too.

How about a gold plated fat person with a piece of sheet metal wedged between their buttcheeks as a rudder?

The fact thatI can imagine that means i need institutionalised
THE PEOPLE IN WHITE ARE MY FRIENDS

Fat people can float too.

How about a gold plated fat person with a piece of sheet metal wedged between their buttcheeks as a rudder?

Yes but only if the metal isn't tungston

Yes but only if the metal isn't tungston

Depleted Uranium?

Depleted Uranium?

Theorectically possible, but I think the captin would find the depleted Uranium to be slightly itchy.

Theorectically possible, but I think the captin would find the depleted Uranium to be slightly itchy.

He'll be right. He's gold plated remember?

He'll be right. He's gold plated remember?
Can I just check something. If the captain has a rudder, that implies s/he has some form of propulsive system. But, if s/he is gold-plated, that implies inflexibility in his/her joints. So, my question is this: is s/he fitted with an motor (which would add a lot of weight), or a sail. If the latter, who's manipulating the sail?

A banana eating a kitty filled Kit-kat

A banana eating a kitty filled Kit-kat

The only raw banana that would have to have "not suitable for vegetarians" and "may contain bones"

I have a hat!

I have a hat made from a cat

I hat a cat have from a made

I hat a cat have from a made
dude thats whack

*sings Staind*

*types in 634 on nearby calculator*

And the lord sayeth to Abraham, "I shall grant you a wish of a vast family of twenty children!" And Abraham says "Nay, I only have a four seater"

The devil confronted Jesus and sayeth, "I offer you vast riches" and Jesus laughed (because he didn't know what to say). While time Jesus finally sayeth, "That's silly I don't have any pockets."

And Noah made a note to thy own self saying "Never put lions next to unicorns."

And Jesus wenteth to Chow Mein's for the last supper. The small man sayeth to Jesus, "We only have one table seated for 13 but you all have to faceth this way."

And Jesus sayeth unto all his disciples, "Before the night is over one of you will betray me."
And Paul sayeth, "Is it me Jesus?"
And Jesus sayeth, "No Paul, it is not you"
And Peter sayeth, "Is it me Jesus?"
And Jesus sayeth, "No Peter, it is not you"
And Judas sayeth, "Is it me Jesus"
And Jesus sayeth dripping with absolute sarcasm, "Is it me Jesus?" :rolleyes:

Turn the other cheek as one can find it hot to put one cheek on a stove oven.

this thread could use a few fake bible quotes
And Jesus said to Judas, "Yea, and have you got my stash from Ahmed the dealer?"
And Judas did reply, "Here it is my Lord, and verily it is good shit, for only 10 shekels an ounce"
Jesus did take the dope and upon inspecting it, did turn to Peter and say, "Yea, so it is mightly good shit, but does it look like a quality ounce to you? I think Judas has verily ripped me off. Besooth but I don't trust that one."
Peter did look upon the ounce and proclaim, "It is as you say my Lord! There's a good roll-up missing and I beseech you to check Judas' eyes. They are as red as the gates of Hades. Also methinks he has the munchies, for look yonder upon his robes! There are crumbs of many biscuits and bagels upon them!"
Jesus did look upon Judas' robes and verily did he see the crumbs. He did look into Judas' eyes and verily did he see the bloodshots. He scowled at Judas, "You have upset me, my disciple, in cheating me out of my ounce. I will think long and hard upon your punishment, but first I will have a quick toke to help clear my head."
And so did the disciples and Jesus did have a good roll-up. And after a third one being passed around, so Jesus did forget what he was going to do with Judas.

Can I just check something. If the captain has a rudder, that implies s/he has some form of propulsive system. But, if s/he is gold-plated, that implies inflexibility in his/her joints. So, my question is this: is s/he fitted with an motor (which would add a lot of weight), or a sail. If the latter, who's manipulating the sail?

explosive flactulence, of course. hence the convenient placement of the rudder.

What about gold-plated?

that depends if it's mad eof gold plated polystyrene or gold plated eggs. gold plated polystyrene often sinks but gold plated eggs generally make for seaworthy ships.

interesting fact:

3 out of 10 cats are unable to digest sheep's liver.

that depends if it's mad eof gold plated polystyrene or gold plated eggs. gold plated polystyrene often sinks but gold plated eggs generally make for seaworthy ships.

interesting fact:

3 out of 10 cats are unable to digest sheep's liver.
Looks at interesting fact. Looks at cat sitting on his lap.

Hey cat, guess what you're trying for supper tomorrow. :p

Confucious(sp?) say - Man spurting hot air should take cold shower.
:D
Confucious say "man who stand on cookware is high on pot"

Can I just check something. If the captain has a rudder, that implies s/he has some form of propulsive system. But, if s/he is gold-plated, that implies inflexibility in his/her joints. So, my question is this: is s/he fitted with an motor (which would add a lot of weight), or a sail. If the latter, who's manipulating the sail?
Neither. It's the flatulence and a cigarette lighter jet propulsion system.

Question 1): Why use fake Bible quotes?
Question 2): If their fake quotes then how can they be called Bible quotes? Wouldn't they simply jokes about a religious book?
Question 3): Wouldn't a gold/gold-plated boat be pirated rather quickly so what would be the point?
Question 4): What's this thread about? I know something about "no substance" but what is it that we are supposed to be talking about?

Neither. It's the flatulence and a cigarette lighter jet propulsion system.

Crude, but effective. LOL. Something from a cartoon. :)

Question 1): Why use fake Bible quotes?
Question 2): If their fake quotes then how can they be called Bible quotes? Wouldn't they simply jokes about a religious book?
Question 3): Wouldn't a gold/gold-plated boat be pirated rather quickly so what would be the point?
Question 4): What's this thread about? I know something about "no substance" but what is it that we are supposed to be talking about?

1) turkmenistan said it best when they said "phloss"
2) they'd be better as a wall decoration in a deli
3) you are obviously not a pirate
4) style
substance

tell us all about no substance. make it substantial

1) turkmenistan said it best when they said "phloss"
2) they'd be better as a wall decoration in a deli
3) you are obviously not a pirate
4) style
substance

tell us all about no substance. make it substantial

What? I'm sorry but your answers completely lost me. :headbang: I dont get it. Can anybody help me? :confused:

What? I'm sorry but your answers completely lost me. :headbang: I dont get it. Can anybody help me? :confused:

Indeed. I can help you pluck chickens and make sponges from scrambled egg.

Indeed. I can help you pluck chickens and make sponges from scrambled egg.

Sponges from chickens? Wow. I never knew you could do that (reaching for phone and dialing) Hello? Yes. I have a group full group for the funny farm. Yup. Same area. Ya, third one this week. Yup, c ya later. (Hanging up) Oh ya as you were saying.

What? I'm sorry but your answers completely lost me. :headbang: I dont get it. Can anybody help me? :confused:

if you have any problems in the field of accoustic fluff reduction, i'm your man

if you have any problems in the field of accoustic fluff reduction, i'm your man

Acoustic fluff reduction. Isn't that discriminating against Swedish people?

Acoustic fluff reduction. Isn't that discriminating against Swedish people?


well well, aren't we little miss human rights - call the UN and have Kofi Anan cry me a river so i can bathe in it.

i wear swedish hats - i do my bit for the third world

well well, aren't we little miss human rights - call the UN and have Kofi Anan cry me a river so i can bathe in it.

i wear swedish hats - i do my bit for the third world

Most excellent quote!

Why is it called the birds and the bees??? I know most guys will claim that size doesn't matter but in this case......

How did the mathematician cure his constipation?
He worked it out with a pencil :rolleyes:

Can I just check something. If the captain has a rudder, that implies s/he has some form of propulsive system. But, if s/he is gold-plated, that implies inflexibility in his/her joints. So, my question is this: is s/he fitted with an motor (which would add a lot of weight), or a sail. If the latter, who's manipulating the sail?

Nay, it be that the fat in the captains stomache reacts with old gold/depleted uranium combo to produce a steady propulsion of 20 niblets per minute. A niblet is a nautical term used to describe how fast cutlefish move in order to procure a disgarded chicken mcnugget, therefore 20 niblets refers to either a very hungry squid or the force of 20 cutlefish going after the same mcnugget.
Interesting side note, if the captain was to be placed in an olympic size swimming pool, the nibblet producing reaction will kill him before he reaches the other side of the pool.

Why are German cars so heavy?

Why?

Yes, why? Do tell us.

Probably spam. iLock pending Moderator review.

--The Modified Democratic States of Cogitation
NationStates Game Moderator