NationStates Jolt Archive

I had a rather entertaining call on my mobile phone this afternoon.

It was from an international number with a country code I didn't recognise, so I answered it with great interest.

"Hello," said a man with a thick foreign accent (possibly eastern European/Middle Eastern). "Is that *unintelligible crackle*?"

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"Is that Philip Hatchard?"

"Yes, that's me, what can I do for you?"

"I am calling on behalf of *more unintelligible crackling*. Did you know that we can give you-"

"Sorry," I interrupted, "I didn't quite get that. Who are you calling on behalf of?"

Back came an unintelligible reply again - surely he didn't say what I thought he said?

"Sorry, still didn't get it."

"Severn Trents Water!" he shouted. That's what I thought he said. Odd.

"I am calling on behalf of Severn Trents Water. Did you know that they can offer you and your family cover of up to one million pounds-"

"Sorry, Severn Trent Water?"

"Yes, we can give you and you fam-"

"So why are you calling from abroad?"

"Oh, it is, um, I am phoning, er, from an, um, international call centre."

"Oh."

"We can give you and your family cover of one million pounds, for accidents such as those on public transport..."

Public transport? Did he say public transport? Why the hell would Severn Trent Water Company want to offer me accident insurance? This was already by some distance the most amateur phone scam I have ever encountered. He has even thought to stop his phone number being sent to my handset. And, here it is:

0016 503 159 818.

"No, I'm not interested."

"But we can offer you one million pounds' worth."

"No, I'm really not interested, thanks."

"Mr Hatchard, don't you think it would be wise to listen to the offer before deciding it doesn't help you."

"Nah. Bye."

When will they ever learn?

I only wish I had more presence of mind to string him along for a bit first - find out where the "call centre" was and what his name was. Never mind.

I love phone scams. I always string them on. The at the end spend a few minutes trying to confirm their order for a large pepperoni pizza.

Hmmmm...sounds like the Nigerian 419 scam and their cousins are branching out. Now that they know there is an actual person at your number, maybe you will hear from more of these types. I would be interested in seeing what their scam is. Messing with these leeches is a hoot.

I love phone scams. I always string them on. The at the end spend a few minutes trying to confirm their order for a large pepperoni pizza.

Ha!! Good one. I think I would try to sell them a coffin made by Tupperware. Burp the lid and you're ever fresh!!

Ha!! Good one. I think I would try to sell them a coffin made by Tupperware. Burp the lid and you're ever fresh!!

Nice.

If I'm in a bad mood, I'll scream "I'm crazy! I cut you up, man!" in a Mexican accent.

If I'm in a bad mood, I'll scream "I'm crazy! I cut you up, man!" in a Mexican accent.

Heh heh, that's brilliant. I may use that technique with door-to-door salesmen...

Wouldn't it be funny if it was Severn Trent Water calling from an outsourced phone company in India? Looking at how shite business seems to be right now with their chaotic supply problems and increasing competition, they might be diversifying their business to include life insurance. Next time the guy calls, decline the insurance but see if they'll deliver a chicken korma...you might get lucky.

If I'm in a bad mood, I'll scream "I'm crazy! I cut you up, man!" in a Mexican accent.

I usually come onto them.

answer them and try to sell them a product such as the cleanmaster 3000 or them insurance or imitate an answering machine

pretend your in a home funeral when door to door people come, and tell them the bodys inside in a solem voice.

I usually put the phone down and let them do their speech, and then ask for me a few times when I don't respond to a single thing.

Whenever I end up at a foreign call center, I pretend to be unable to speak English. I figure that if I've called for help, and they've put someone on who can barely speak English, I can make the call last for as long as I like.

If they are calling me to sell me something, I don't mind keeping them on the line for an hour or so - I've had my dinner interrupted in any case. So I'll take what entertainment value I can from the experience.

Man, I can;t believe you forgot!


PHONE SEX!

Man, I can;t believe you forgot!


PHONE SEX!

Hmm...did I hear someone say Bloodninja?

Hmm...did I hear someone say Bloodninja?
Bloodninja is my idol

I try to follow in his footsteps, I really do.

It's hard though, finding people that don't seem like they'll hack into your computer after you swear your love for their fingernails.

Bloodninja is my idol

I try to follow in his footsteps, I really do.

It's hard though, finding people that don't seem like they'll hack into your computer after you swear your love for their fingernails.


That's exactly why you should do it with salesmen instead! All they can do is sue you for harrassment (probably).

I had a rather entertaining call on my mobile phone this afternoon.who paid for that call?

The trick is, first you ask them if they are a recorded message. When they say no, pause for a second and breathe deeply, muttering the name of your old boyfriend/girlfriend to yourself. Then ask them if they are your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. When, they say no, you shout that you know their voice and you can't believe they would call you up like this, acting so low, after what they did to you. Ramble on for a while about the things that they have done - the more awful and outrageous the better. If they don't give up and put the phone down yet, wait for them to say something, pause, then burst into audible tears and say 'look, I'm sorry, Mike/Steve/Jenny/Emily. I didn't realise it was you. You really upset me. Why would you do that?' and before they can answer, say quickly 'i just can't talk to you right now' and slam the phone down.

who paid for that call?

Yes, that did occur to me too - the only thing is the cheeky bastards at Orange make you pay to ring their customer services - however, as I still have over £10 credit (I don't know exactly how much I started with, but it sounds about right), I doubt it could have cost me much, if anything at all.

Next time I'll give them my life story, like I don't normally have anyone to talk to. I'll start off quite mundane, and then start introducing magical creatures with increasing frequency, and get all religious on him, with the eventual aim of converting him to some faith I just made up...