NationStates Jolt Archive

Project N.O.A.H.

Neurological Observation Alien Hosts.

The famous Dr. "noah" had an advanced form of being able to see into the furture. He saw a massive astroid coming towards the earth, and so he got together other scientists "his sons' and told them what he saw. They could find no way to protect themselves from this astroid. So they started putting together teams to gather DNA, one male one female, for cloneing perposes. This took some time, and while they gathered, "noah" started working on his ark. It was a massive space ship, and as he neared getting it done, it started raining, as small metorites started hitting the earth. People started getting scared, for they didn't know what was happening. The governement saw what "noah" was doing and they tried to attack him, but again "noah" saw this coming and quickly sealed the doors as they got there. They took off, and headed into deep space, but their scanners were hit by a metorite. They pushed on, and after some time they sent out a probe, but it never returned, so they waited longer, and this time they sent out another probe, more advanced then the first one, and it came back with evidence of a livable planet, and had pictures of an olive tree to boot.

They landed and started all over, they booted up the cloning labs, and soon "unloaded" the entire populace onto this new world. Though things were different in this world. Great reptiles had once ruled the earth, but due to some shifts in its crust the climates had changed and killed them off. Noah and his "sons" started blending DNAs and started Cloneing as well. Soon the world was on its way to being reformed.

-=-
Jesus was an alien, his space ship, known as the Ghost, came down to infiltrate the world that Dr. Noah had set up in the Noah project. He found a matching DNA woman, and impregnated herself into her, and then had to use his space tech to make her husband understand and not just kill her. Using advanced genitics he allowed himself to retain his memory and advanced knowledge, as well as his mental powers. He then started an order to keep an eye on the world, and would have gotten away clean, except he got caught by the secret police of Noah, also known as the JEWS or Justice Enforcement Warriors. They then killed him, but failed to stop his space ship that took his body, they healed him, put him back together, but couldn't get rid of some of the scars, he was sent back down to leave final orders, and left again. Only to return in the future with a more massive fleet and destroy the earth, though his followers will be taken first.

He is a citizen of the Generals of Destruction and so he is their "son"

I'm going to do more, but rewriting the Bible and other holy texts is going to take some time....though one day I plan on making this massive and have like a website and such...though I can't affored the time or extra money needed.

I'm going to do more, but rewriting the Bible and other holy texts is going to take some time....though one day I plan on making this massive and have like a website and such...though I can't affored the time or extra money needed.
You should try making it entertaining or informative in some way.

You should try making it entertaining or informative in some way.

I was planing on it, but its just trying to get it all up and going, getting the right designs and such. I was thinking about t-shirts and such too, and buttons.

come on, join the church of NOAH!!

lol

where is my ArchBishop at!?!?!

come on, join the church of NOAH!!

lol

where is my ArchBishop at!?!?!
I dunno, but Our Earth is a demon. Just go ask him.
Mebbe he could graduate to Supreme Evil or something?

Sounds more logical than most other religions, but sadly no pomp.

I dunno, but Our Earth is a demon. Just go ask him.
Mebbe he could graduate to Supreme Evil or something?


The Earth is a mother, thus its a female and a she, duh, not a him...and its not evil, just suffering from a little pms

Sounds more logical than most other religions, but sadly no pomp.
no pomp?

Priests of Medicine Practice?

The Earth is a mother, thus its a female and a she, duh, not a him...and its not evil, just suffering from a little pms
No, Our Earth as in the person with the username Our Earth. Not "our Earth" as in nature. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

No, Our Earth as in the person with the username Our Earth. Not "our Earth" as in nature. Sorry if I wasn't clear.
ahhhhhhh, I understand now......

a demon you say

Dimensional Entity Malicely Operating Nocturnally.

its slow....must be shabbot.....hmm

ahhhhhhh, I understand now......

a demon you say

Dimensional Entity Malicely Operating Nocturnally.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=389436

See, OE has a whole thread about being a demon!

I have now been called a godless heathen bastard in another thread for this NOAH concept, and I will stand firm. It is the fool that must only use words of insult to prove their point, and this person used no other statement other then to insult and tell me to read the bible.

I have read the bible, if I hadn't would I be able to relate so manything to NoAH?

ROFLMAO!!!

What if there was an operation NaOH? I'd feel so very base, which would are belong to us

Long ago, when Noah went into his deep sleep, his followers tried to comprehend his books, and they found the people were far too stupid to understand it, so they wrote it into faith, so that in the future it would be easier to bring the knowledge back. Well, their plan didn't work. People found they held to religion and the world grew stupid. Then science came along and became the worlds next religion, and blamed the old religions for all the wars. Even with these "smarter" people, they still wouldn't believe the truth, for they were just as closed minded as others. Now Science fights Faith, Faith fights Science, and Noah grumbles in his sleep about spreading the truth again to end the fighting before the warships arrive from space. Will humans understand? I doubt it, but hell, I'll at least try.l

ROFLMAO!!!

What if there was an operation NaOH? I'd feel so very base, which would are belong to us
:eek:
I bow to your superior comedic skills!
That was hilarious.

riiiiight, anyways.

I'm going to do more, but rewriting the Bible and other holy texts is going to take some time....though one day I plan on making this massive and have like a website and such...though I can't affored the time or extra money needed.
Write a book about this, people would be interested. They'd read it as fiction though. And also I think you are completely nuts.

Write a book about this, people would be interested. They'd read it as fiction though. And also I think you are completely nuts.

you think I'm nuts? thank you, it really does mean a lot to me. I was planning on writing it into books and such. as well as thinking about making a website to sell t-shirts and such. Maybe even spurn a online community through it, who knows.

I am the sterotypical religious nut that will keep pushing his ideas despite resistance and despite noone wanting to hear him.

Though I do this not as a personal matter, more as the fact that I'm bored, and no one has prooved me wrong yet.

come on, join the church of NOAH!!

lol

where is my ArchBishop at!?!?!

The Archbishop is here.

ALL HAIL NOAH!

The Archbishop is here.

ALL HAIL NOAH!

the church will grow I say, it shall!!!!

the church will grow I say, it shall!!!!

Soon there will be thousands of followers...and a great statue shall be erected in the form of Dr. Noah himself!

Soon there will be thousands of followers...and a great statue shall be erected in the form of Dr. Noah himself!

That would be a good thing. And we could set in it a broadcasting unit that would tell all the people all the wonderful things Dr. Noah will bring to the earth with his infinite knowledge.

ROFLMAO!!!

What if there was an operation NaOH? I'd feel so very base, which would are belong to us
Now, now. Don't force me to set up all of you the bomb.

Ugh. English needs a plural 2nd person pronoun.

Now, now. Don't force me to set up all of you the bomb.

Ugh. English needs a plural 2nd person pronoun.

well, wasn't that, umm, enlightenment?....no, it wasn't and I have no idea how to respond to this, because, well, I don't know what was said.

Noah


Dr. Noah was a scientist from another world. He was much more advanced then others and kept himself locked away mainly from the rest of the world. He saw them as pleasure seekers, and self indulgent twits. He felt the persuit of knowledge and keeping one's self healthy as the true way to live. Well, along his course of action he came across long range ways of seeing into space. He was watching one day and saw on his scopes a massive astroid heading towards Urth. He punched the numbers into his computer, the Graviton Omnicenter Digitiser, and it told him that impact was certain.

He quickly toss more data into G.O.D. and came up with a way to save the Urth. He called together his sons, who also follwed in their father's footsteps and had shut themselves away from the world, and had wives. He told them what was happening, and they quickly followed G.O.D.'s instructions. They went out and gathered all the base species' dna, one male and one female. They also gathered cultures of bacteria and viruses, because they realized without them most animals would die.

They also gathered up enough food to let them travel through space and then they began on constructing the starcruiser they named the Ark, because it would be a great vessel that would take them to a new world.

They built this starcruiser at the mocking of those around them, and it took a great time for them to build it. But finally they were done, just as the metor showeres started. The people saw this and grew scared, for they had never seen the stars falling before. They ran to Dr. Noah, but they were too late. He was already leaving and they could only see his ship leaving the atmosphere.

The ship traveled for a great time, and one day Noah sent out a probe, though and it traveled before him, back and forth, recording it all. Soon he sent out another probe, searching for the new planet, but it came back with nothing. Again he waited, checking his calculations manytimes, and finally sent it out again. It came back this time with a sample from the new Earth, an olive branch.

They landed on the new Earth and they set out with the dna cloning, and soon had made enough modifacations to allow the animals to live. They then turned to their own DNA and formed enough new dna to restart the population of the Earth. All was good.

The rolling tide of NOAH cannot be stopped. Soon the infidel will be cast into Noahs refrigerator and used to cool his drinks.

1. Here is the history of Dr. Noah. In his time, Noah was a wise

man, keeping himself free from self indulgance, and spent much

of his time using the advanced computer system of his one

invention, Guided Operational Digitizer or G.O.D.. 2. Noah had 3

sons, Shem, Ham, and Yefet. 3. G.O.D. put out a calculation that

soon the world would fall to its own violence. 4. Upon scanning

the Urth, G.O.D. showed that the world was filled with fools and

violent ones at that.

5. G.O.D. said to Noah, "The end of all living beings is comeing

to Urth, and they will not survive because they care more of

violence and self indulgance then knowledge, the Urth will be

destroyed as will the foolish. 6. Make a starcruiser, made of the

strongest materiales we have. Make it plenty of rooms and seal

the outter walls to prevent leackage in the vacuum of space. 7.

Here are the measurements, length 450ft, width 75ft, height of

45ft. 8. Set the viewer sensors 18 inches from the top of the ship.

The door should be placed on the side, and the interior shall

have 3 seperate levels, as well as the command level.

9. "The end will come, an astroid will flood this Urth with toxins,

and will destroy everything that breaths, everything on the Urth

shall be destroyed. 10. but if you follow these instructions, you,

your wife, your sons and their wives will be safe in the star

crusier."

11. "From everything living, from each kind of living being, bring

two dna samples so that cloneing may save them, bring a female

sample and a male sample." 12. "Even collect the birds,

livestock, and insects" 13. "Also bring with you supplies to

feed yourself and your family during this voyage." 13. Dr. Noah

listened to G.O.D. and follwed the instructions he had been

given.

"It's just totally revolutionized the way we think of the past" --Random Person

"I mean...it's like..uh..gr347!" --G4m3r d00d3

"It's outdated the Bible in every way possible!" -- Man with a beard

"It's like my new Kama Sutra!!!" -- Prostitute

It's the new way forwards people. You all have to see the way forwards!

more to come, Dr Noah has given me other tasks currently, but soon more.