NationStates Jolt Archive

When I was helping to raise my own five children, I never took the time to write out a list of all the things I thought my children should know or be able to do before they were old enough to be on their own. Now that I'm helping to raise my soon-to-be seven grandchildren, it's occurred to me that a list of such things would be helpful.

Just a partial list off the top of my head ( in no particular order ):

1. Have a healthy skepticism about people they don't yet know.

2. Be able to balance a checkbook.

3. Have a critical ability to differentiate truth from fiction.

4. Be able to perform basic maintenance on a car or other vehicle.

5. Be able to use a gun safely.

6. Know their limits on alcohol, and know the health problems caused by smoking.

7. Understand their responsiblities toward their family, their community, their nation, the human race, and the environment.

8. Know how to cook a basic meal and use a cookbook.

9. Be able to write cogently.

10. Be able to use a computer effectively and intelligently.

11. Understand sex and the responsibilites which come with it.

12. Understand and be able to put into practice basic first aid.

As I said above, that's just a partial list. Please feel free to comment and/or add things which occur to you.

tie your shoes?

Realise that men in big Columbo-like macs are NOT your friends

Be able to call mom and dad and ask for money. :D

Come'on now ... I'm looking for serious input here! Tsk! :headbang:

Handling money responsibly and knowing you have to pay your bills.

Motility is pretty important.

Clean house and wash clothes are pretty essential.

Use a gun safely will depend upon the culture you are going to live in. For the majority of humanity this is not an essential skill to have before leaving home. (It happens that I can, but I have never needed to.)

Another essential is to be able to generate some revenue (Earn if you are not filthy rich and can live off of investments)

Handling money responsibly and knowing you have to pay your bills.
I sort of covered that under "balance a checkbook," but your point is well taken. :)

Clean house and wash clothes are pretty essential.

Use a gun safely will depend upon the culture you are going to live in. For the majority of humanity this is not an essential skill to have before leaving home. (It happens that I can, but I have never needed to.)

Another essential is to be able to generate some revenue (Earn if you are not filthy rich and can live off of investments)
All true. Thank you! :)

I sort of covered that under "balance a checkbook," but your point is well taken. :)

I handle my money and pay my bills but I don't balance my checkbook. :D It drives my husband nuts too.

dont be in a hurry to grow up

Clean house and wash clothes are pretty essential.
I agree, but will go beyond this to say that anyone moving out should know not only how to shape up a house, and wash dishes... they ought to be able to shape up themselves too. Clean laundry, iron shirts, clean the bathroom... whatever, its all part of the same issue. I truly cant stand going in to someones house to find it messy and unclean. It doesnt change my opinion of a person all that much, but its a real turn-off when you go into a girls apartment and she has dirty laundry strewn about and dishes stacked up in the sink... I cant stand it!

Messes are a HUGE turnoff for me. :)

In all honsetly, I think that your children should know about drugs. They should be taught before they leave you what the appropriate doses of recreational drugs are. If they decide to experiment, you want to prevent them from overdosing. Yes, I am indeed an extreme social libertarian. They should also have a working knowledge of basic santiation, unless you want to get pathogens and parasites into their system.

I handle my money and pay my bills but I don't balance my checkbook. :D It drives my husband nuts too.
LOL! Well, I don't do it often either, but I think it's a good skill to have.

how to run from a guy with a chainsaw

I agree, but will go beyond this to say that anyone moving out should know not only how to shape up a house, and wash dishes... they ought to be able to shape up themselves too. Clean laundry, iron shirts, clean the bathroom... whatever, its all part of the same issue. I truly cant stand going in to someones house to find it messy and unclean. It doesnt change my opinion of a person all that much, but its a real turn-off when you go into a girls apartment and she has dirty laundry strewn about and dishes stacked up in the sink... I cant stand it!

Messes are a HUGE turnoff for me. :)
Hmm. I probably missed that one because it's such a basic skill, and because we didn't "teach" it, per se. I guess my children just kinda absorbed that and other things as if by osmisis. :)

dont be in a hurry to grow up
... and don't drag your feet, either! :)

Know how to BreakDance.

'Tis a useful skill.

Be able to perform basic maintenance on a car or other vehicle.

Again, as Alien Born said about the guns, that depends on where you live. I have a lot of friends in their mid-twenties who live on their own and don't have their licence yet (and they probably won't ever get it)

Be able to use a gun safely.

That I strongly disagree with. It's probably a cultural thing, over here guys learn how to during military service and girls for the most part never even touch a gun.

Know how to cook a basic meal and use a cookbook.

I'll want my kids to know more than just basic cooking. They'll also need to know how to clean, wash, mend,... in general basic skills required for living on your own ;)

In all honsetly, I think that your children should know about drugs. They should be taught before they leave you what the appropriate doses of recreational drugs are. If they decide to experiment, you want to prevent them from overdosing.
With this I strongly disagree. It's been the approach in our family that putting any kind of pollutant into our bodies was just plain stupid. I know that at least two of mine tried marajuana but didn't like it. Perhaps we're just lucky that most of our children bought into this concept.

there is NO skill, including "how to tie your shoes" that would cause me to keep my son in my house one day longer than necessary! they will learn what they need to learn pretty damned fast as soon as they get to "the school of hard knocks"

When I was helping to raise my own five children, I never took the time to write out a list of all the things I thought my children should know or be able to do before they were old enough to be on their own. Now that I'm helping to raise my soon-to-be seven grandchildren, it's occurred to me that a list of such things would be helpful.

Just a partial list off the top of my head ( in no particular order ):

1. Have a healthy skepticism about people they don't yet know.

2. Be able to balance a checkbook.

3. Have a critical ability to differentiate truth from fiction.

4. Be able to perform basic maintenance on a car or other vehicle.

5. Be able to use a gun safely.

6. Know their limits on alcohol, and know the health problems caused by smoking.

7. Understand their responsiblities toward their family, their community, their nation, the human race, and the environment.

8. Know how to cook a basic meal and use a cookbook.

9. Be able to write cogently.

10. Be able to use a computer effectively and intelligently.

11. Understand sex and the responsibilites which come with it.

12. Understand and be able to put into practice basic first aid.

As I said above, that's just a partial list. Please feel free to comment and/or add things which occur to you.
I'm glad #5 doesn't apply where I live.

I'd say, rather:
- Differentiate fact from fiction, metaphor from truth, and know the value of each.

With this I strongly disagree. It's been the approach in our family that putting any kind of pollutant into our bodies was just plain stupid. I know that at least two of mine tried marajuana but didn't like it. Perhaps we're just lucky that most of our children bought into this concept.

At least your family discussed the subject. This is probably what Gnostikos meant. To know about, and to be aware of, does not imply that you have to have experimented.

If you don't want someone beating your family to death with a baseball bat, it helps to have a gun.

If you don't want someone beating your family to death with a baseball bat, it helps to have a gun.
...or you could just not upset other people.

With this I strongly disagree. It's been the approach in our family that putting any kind of pollutant into our bodies was just plain stupid. I know that at least two of mine tried marajuana but didn't like it. Perhaps we're just lucky that most of our children bought into this concept.
Well, to be fair, it's pretty much impossible to not put "pollutants" into one's body now. Even organically produced food probably has pesticides and other dertimental substances in them. Silent Spring helped, but did not eliminate the problem. Especially now, when people are starting to forget. What you propose is to never use pharmaceutical drugs as well. You never want "pollutants", never take Advil (ibuprofen) again, it is a narcotic. As is Tylenol (acetaminophen). And beware if any children have psychological problem that can be addressed by pharmacology. I, myself, who turn 16 in February, have not experimented with recreational drugs. Yet I happen to be quite knowledgable on amphetamines and marijuana, with intents on expanding on this knowledge to other drugs. Information is what you should provide children with accurate knowledge so that they can know just what it is they are doing to their bodies. For instance, marijuana and amphetamines both have very few deleterious effects, even with long-term use. Though methamphetamines can be quite harmful with heavy use over a long period of time. If I ever am tempted to try a drug, I want to know exactly what the pros and cons of using it are. I want to know what is verifiably bad about using them. I know that both alcohol and tobacco are worse than marijuana. I don't intend on ever smoking tobacco, and only occasionally drinking if ever. I have friends who are partial druggies, and see what has happened to them. It is never good when there is excessive use.

At least your family discussed the subject. This is probably what Gnostikos meant. To know about, and to be aware of, does not imply that you have to have experimented.
Precisely.

I say be able to haggle with salesmen. Especially the girls....salesmen always try to take advantage of us. grrrr

The ability to remember where you put your keys the night before.

(I'm not joking either)

Pretty good list, Eutrusca.

You missed the personal and home hygiene bit, and knowing how to mend well enough to at least put a button back on, but I think someone else covered that.

I would add:

Know how to create a decent resume.
Know how to do your taxes.


Personally, I aspire to the Robert Heinlein adage:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

While I've never planned an invasion outside of an rp, had my fighting skills tested in a real life or death situation, had the opportunity to conn a ship, or died gallantly, I wholeheartedly approve of his underlying message.

And yes, as a matter of fact, I have butchered a hog.

Come'on now ... I'm looking for serious input here! Tsk! :headbang:
Your list includes using a gun... and you were expecting serious responses?

And yes, as a matter of fact, I have butchered a hog.
That really spoilt an otherwise very funny post.

That really spoilt an otherwise very funny post.

Sorry.

Sorry.
I forgive you. :)

there is NO skill, including "how to tie your shoes" that would cause me to keep my son in my house one day longer than necessary! they will learn what they need to learn pretty damned fast as soon as they get to "the school of hard knocks"
Hmmm. I'll grant that the "school of hard knocks" can be a great teacher, but I prefer that particular school to be the one of last resort to reinforce what I tried to teach. :)

Pretty good list, Eutrusca.

You missed the personal and home hygiene bit, and knowing how to mend well enough to at least put a button back on, but I think someone else covered that.

I would add:

Know how to create a decent resume.
Know how to do your taxes.


Personally, I aspire to the Robert Heinlein adage:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

While I've never planned an invasion outside of an rp, had my fighting skills tested in a real life or death situation, had the opportunity to conn a ship, or died gallantly, I wholeheartedly approve of his underlying message.

And yes, as a matter of fact, I have butchered a hog.
LOL! Well, I have to admit that I've never butchered a hog, conned a ship, programmed a computer, or died gallantly or otherwise. :)

Personally, I aspire to the Robert Heinlein adage:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.


For those who may be interested, This comes from "Time Enough for Love" along with a host of other snippets of good/strange/funny advice.

Your list includes using a gun... and you were expecting serious responses?
Well, perhaps that would be too much to expect from those who advocate banning guns from everyone except the criminals. Sorry about that. [/sarcasm]

It is a sad, sad person who cannot play a little music.

Beeing able to please wealthy old men.

Well, perhaps that would be too much to expect from those who advocate banning guns from everyone except the criminals. Sorry about that. [/sarcasm]
Really, was that sarcastic? I thought that you had realised when you were wrong and were willing to conceed defeat.



If you try to push a political agenda, then you're gonna have to expect people to react to it. If you're gonna make a thread with societarilly specific viewpoint on a pluralist forum, you're gonna have to expect others to either ignore, mock or try to correct that.

Well, I'm all for certain forms of gun control/regulation, but I don't see anything inherently wrong with knowing how to use one.

Well, I'm all for certain forms of gun control/regulation, but I don't see anything inherently wrong with knowing how to use one.
Me neither, don't be fooled his gross misrepresention of my position. But I don't think its an essential life skill, cos, in my part of the world at any rate, guns aren't a facet of everyday life.

Balance a checkbook? I didn't know those still existed.

How to make lemonade...when life hands you lemons.
Seriously.

Me neither, don't be fooled his gross misrepresention of my position. But I don't think its an essential life skill, cos, in my part of the world at any rate, guns aren't a facet of everyday life.

Well, I grew up on a farm, and having at least one person there who could handle a firearm was pretty essential. However, I have since moved to a city, and I admit that in the last 15 years I have had no need to use one.

Which is one reason I think that rifles and shotguns are acceptable, but that handguns and automatics and all that sort of thing should be regulated. In the case of automatics, I'm good with an all out ban.

But this isn't a thread about gun control, and I don't want to turn it into one.

My point is that I'm sympathetic to your cause, Spoffin, but I do recognize that farmers and subsistence hunters do have a modern need for firearms.

If you try to push a political agenda, then you're gonna have to expect people to react to it. If you're gonna make a thread with societarilly specific viewpoint on a pluralist forum, you're gonna have to expect others to either ignore, mock or try to correct that.
I'm not the one "pushing a political agenda" here, nor is the issue of private ownership of guns a "societarilly specific" issue.

Everyone should know how to:
cook
clean
do laundry
dispose of a body
change a fuse
change a tire
use birth control properly
hold your booze
save money
handle a firearm
lie
play poker
change a diaper
say no
perform CPR
sew on a button

And yes, as a matter of fact, I have butchered a hog.

Does taking part in a process that ultimately led to a hog being butchered count?

Pretty good list, Eutrusca.

You missed the personal and home hygiene bit, and knowing how to mend well enough to at least put a button back on, but I think someone else covered that.

I would add:

Know how to create a decent resume.
Know how to do your taxes.


Personally, I aspire to the Robert Heinlein adage:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

While I've never planned an invasion outside of an rp, had my fighting skills tested in a real life or death situation, had the opportunity to conn a ship, or died gallantly, I wholeheartedly approve of his underlying message.

And yes, as a matter of fact, I have butchered a hog.


:) That's the first thing that popped into my mind - good thing I read the rest of the posts before I posted it. :)