NationStates Jolt Archive

Today I had a revelation, an experience that will change my life and revolutionize the very way I view humanity's existence. And that is no hyperbole.

I was riding in a car with my friend, who can drive legally, and they stopped in a shopping plaza in our town. They all pulled out the Starbucks gift cards they got for their various religious holidays, and all decided eagerly to go to the over-packaged coffee shop.

I, of course, was not exactly ethusiastic about such an idea, but I went anyways. Not only does Starbucks repel me because I am fiercely anti-corporate, but because the one time I visited London I saw a Starbucks every three blocks (no exaggeration) and absolutely no tea houses at all. This turned me off from the while Starbucks idea, because as I saw it as denying me me right to drink authentic British tea, for which I have a craving.

And then, as I walk into the faux-authentetic packaging of the Starbucks, I stop walking and my eyes widen and my jaw drops down.

The Chantico. It is a cup of chocolate. A cup of pure, dark, steamingly burning chocolate.

And I bought it, in a small cup. And after buying it, I took a small sip. That sip let me percieve the universe.

I suddenly look outside at the sky and saw clouds of chocolate foam drift over a brown chocolate sky, as small bits of chocolate rained down upon the earth like the biblical mana. I breathed inthe sweet, dark air of chocolate, and smiled at the man made of chocolate who had served me my Chantico.

And it was good.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

That's awesome. *jealous*

I assure you, the enlightenment is worth the price of the Chantico.

If you think that's good try an eighth ounce of magic mushrooms. The taste isn't quite as good, but you'll get a revelation all right.

It's like a spiritual ascendancy for me, Chantico. My only drug is caffeine.

I got to get me one of these!! First thing in the morning it is!

Spread the word, my friend. I think the Buddha would be proud.

So, it's come to this.
Spiritual enlightenment is on sale at Starbucks.

I question the value of any spiritual enlightenment that you can buy at Starbucks.

Am I cynical?

So, it's come to this.
Spiritual enlightenment is on sale at Starbucks.

I question the value of any spiritual enlightenment that you can buy at Starbucks.

Am I cynical?

No, you just caught the intended irony of my post. Congratulations!

As a reward you may purchase the Chantico, religious bliss for only $2.65, tax free.

As a reward you may purchase the Chantico, religious bliss for only $2.65, tax free.
I do like hot chocolate!
But I don't live in the U.S., and I don't know if they sell the Chantico in the U.K., and I don't really have a beverage budget.
But thanks anyway!

P.S. I already have lots of spiritual bliss. Jesus is Lord!

Well, I'm Jewish, but as long as you find G-d in your own way, I'm glad for you!

Still, that Chantico was sooooo good....

*Backs away from Lindim*...strange person.

Well, I'm Jewish, but as long as you find G-d in your own way, I'm glad for you!

Still, that Chantico was sooooo good....
Why did you not write the name God?

You know dont you that there are something like 400 calories in a cup of that chantico stuff.

You would get a similarly 'divine' experience by drinking a bunch of bacon grease or something.

I've heard about these new "Chantico" doohickeys, but I'm too afraid to trust Starbucks to taste one.

(I am convinced Starbucks is the downfall of civilization.)

Why did you not write the name God?

As I recall, Jews do not write the name of God, so sacred is it to their faith.

You know dont you that there are something like 400 calories in a cup of that chantico stuff.

You would get a similarly 'divine' experience by drinking a bunch of bacon grease or something.

Ugh, I know. I have to run like twenty miles to burn that back off. And I can feel the sugars convert to fat in my body right now.

I've heard about these new "Chantico" doohickeys, but I'm too afraid to trust Starbucks to taste one.

(I am convinced Starbucks is the downfall of civilization.)

Oh, so am I! They are no doubt, the harbingers of our death. However, as that is inevitable, I would like to partake in some pleasure as we enter our ruin.

On that note, anyone who took my hyperbole about the religious experience literally really needs to relax. I was joking. It's good, but not that good.

Note to self: Never write humoursly exaggerated rant again. Also, don't forget to pick up bribe from Starbucks,

As I recall, Jews do not write the name of God, so sacred is it to their faith.
It depends on how devout they are. Devout Orthodox ones never write down the name, and even when writing in Hebrew, they simply write down hashem (litterally "the name"). Others may not be as careful, and will write differently.