NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, what is your favorite line, or lines, from the Simpsons

i'm going to go with
"Mmmmm... Forbidan Doughnut"

and Kids: "You killed zombie flanders!"
Homer: "He was a Zombie?"

i like the halloween episodes ; )

Kent Brockman:"If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Democracy just Does Not Work."

Gee Marge, I never thought the boy'd find the gun in the lettuce crisper.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

Superintendant Chalmers:"Prayer has a much place in school as fact has in organized religion."

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

I'll catch you beer baron.
(No you won't)
Yes, I will.
(d'oh!)

Uh-oh, it's seeping in!

Favorite? There's no way I could narrow it down to just one.

But here's some that just came to mind:

Homer: Flanders is the worst coach this team has ever had.

Marge: He's the only coach it's ever had.

Homer: Yeah, well he's wearin' that hat like an idiot.

Marge: Homer, it's easy to criticize.

Homer: Fun too!

OR

-"I don't need safety gloves, because I'm Homer Simp"-BZZZZT!

-"Larry Flint is right, you guys stink!"

-"I love these lazy Saturdays... not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired."

That's just a few of the best.

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed horribly. The lesson is: never try."

Duff Man: This grass needs some H-2-Oh Yeah!

Ralph Wiggum: The blue ones taste like burning.

Ralph Wiggum: That's where I met the Leprechaun, he tells me to burn things.

"We don't put up with shit like that here in America, sir" Embassy Guard after punching Homer in the face for jumping in and out of the embassy.

P.S. As much as I like that episode, Australia is NOTHING like portrayed. :p

"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem. Oh yeah!"

"People do crazy things in commercials. Like eat at Arby's." - Marge Simpson

"...Scots and the Brits, Scots and the Irish, Scots and other Scots!!"

- Willie the Grounds keeper

Reanimated Lenin: Must! Crush! Capitalism! Raaarr!

and...

Carl Carlson: If I didn't have inner peace, I'd totally go psycho on you guys, all the time.

and finally...

Mike Mills: No, stop Michael!
Peter Buck: That's not the R.E.M. way.
Michael Stipe: You're right. Let's recycle these glass shards and go home.

~Homer~ I'll mace you good!

just rememberd the other one i meant to post

Comic Book Guy/Collector: I have here, the only working phaser ever made, it was used just once, to keep william shatner from releasing another album

Homer: No beer makes Homer something something..
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do *goes crazy*


Flanders: Flanders to God, Flanders to God, get off your cloud and save my Todd!

Marge: Homer, you're overstimulated. Lets get some beer into you and it's off to bed.
Homer: WOOHOO!!! BEER BEER BEER BEER!!!

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat's food.

Homer: Lisa, Beer doesn't kill brain cells. Now lets go back to that...building...where our beds and TV...is.

Homer: Ohhhh, there's only one can of beer left and it's Bart's.

Marge: Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest.
Sting: Not while one of my fans need me.
Marge: Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums.
Homer: Shhhh. Marge, he's a good digger!


Reanimated Lenin: Must! Crush! Capitalism! Raaarr!

LMAO :D

Homer: I am Gay

THat guy thats like arnold swarcheneggar(whatever)

"It burns! The goggles, they do nothing!"

Jimbo: "Dude, you where kissing a girl. That's so gay."

Ralph, or Martin I don't remember: "Ah, sleep. That's where I'm a viking."

I hope I get this one-
Grandpa Simpson: "Your like a song I've never heard about a place I've never been to from a time I can't remember."

Nope, that ain't it. Someone want to correct that?

You realize every episode has an awesome quote.

"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt"

Meditating Lenny :"Who likes short shorts"
Meditating Carl :"I like short shorts"

Nelson: "Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Just like punching someone in the dark."

Ralph: I ate all my crayons.

Springfield Steel Workers: We work hard! We play hard!

"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem. Oh yeah!"

I like that one too!

"Duffman. Can't breathe. Ooooooh.... yea...." - Duffman

"As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules, and believe what I believe. No butter up that bacon, boy." - Homer

"Geez, Homer, geez. You and Marge ain't cousins, are ya?" - Moe

My Fav. quotes are:

"Worst episode ever" Comic book store Guy

"Hi, i'm Troy Meclure you may remember me from such things like ..."

and i like the song mr. burns sings on the episode when he steals the puppies-see my vest

Homer- mmmmmm, 64 slices of American cheese...

Marge- Homer?! Have you been up all night eating cheese?

Homer- I think I'm blind.

THat guy thats like arnold swarcheneggar(whatever)

"It burns! The goggles, they do nothing!"

McBain.

Reverend Lovejoy - Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll.

Burns(To Abe Simpson): Can't you go three seconds without embarrasing yourself?

**Grandpa Simpson's pants fall down**

Abe Simpson: How long was that?

----

And the entire "Be Sharps" Barbershop episode... Because I sing barbershop :D

Burns(To Abe Simpson): Can't you go three seconds without embarrasing yourself?
**Grandpa Simpson's pants fall down**
Abe Simpson: How long was that?

That episode was on when I made my post earlier!!!

Ralph: "I can't read."
Ralph: "I wanna twirl."

Anything by Ralph is a guaranteed hit!

McBain.
The character is actually Renier(sp?) Wolfcastle, McBain is a character that he plays.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

You stole my favorite! :)

But here are some others...

Ralph: I bent my Wookie.

Apu: Please, do not offer my god a peanut.

Homer: Mmm...sacrilicious!

Homer: Pfft, English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Homer: To start, press any key. Where's the ANY key?

Homer: All my life I've been an obese man, trapped inside a fat man's body.

And so many more.... :)

My Fav. quotes are:

"Worst episode ever" Comic book store Guy

"Hi, i'm Troy Meclure you may remember me from such things like ..."

and i like the song mr. burns sings on the episode when he steals the puppies-see my vest

Hehehe

See my vest, see my vest
made from real gorilla chest
see this sweater, there's no better
then authentic Irish setter
see this har 'twas my cat
my evening wear, a vampire bat
Beret of poodle, on my noodle it will rest
See my vest, see my vest
See my veeeeest

That song is super sweet.

The character is actually Renier(sp?) Wolfcastle, McBain is a character that he plays.

Of course, thanks for that. I'd have to say he's my favourite minor Simpsons character.

Reverend Lovejoy - Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll.

In reference to the same episode, Homer leans over to Marge while they are listening to "In the Garden of Eden," and says:

"Hey Marge, do you remember when we used to make out to this hymn?"

Others:

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.

Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------\

Lenny: So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence ... of being a jerk."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

"Mmmm... unexplained bacon."
- Homer Simpson

And "See my vest" is good too...

Lisa: *gasp* he's going to make a tuxedo out of our puppies
Bart: Nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah
Lisa: BART!
Bart: Sorry. You gotta admit it's catchy.

Chief Wiggum: "Hey I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name!"

Groundskeeper Willie: Do ye have any grease woman?
Lunch Lady Dorris: Yes, yes we do.
Groundskeeper Willie: Then grease me up woman!

Also on the subject of oils.

Homer: Nobody loves oily Homer!

Best Duffman Quote

Didn't you die of liver failure?
Duffman: Duffman can never die only the actors who portray him, oh yeah!

In reference to the same episode, Homer leans over to Marge while they are listening to "In the Garden of Eden," and says:

"Hey Marge, do you remember when we used to make out to this hymn?"

That's my fave episode, except at the end when they start banging on about the soul too much.

I like it when Bart's looking for Milhouse, goes to his house & the bug sprayer answers, it goes something like this:

In Darth Vader voice - The one you call Milhouse is not here.
In normal voice - He's staying at his grandma's place while we spray for potato bugs.

P.S. As much as I like that episode, Australia is NOTHING like portrayed. :p
yeah, who drinks fosters?!

The best quotes from the best episode, the 10mins containing the following quotes are the best in simpsons history

"nj;varwnkjvasdoknpfweiova"
"homer slow down"
"iojnfa fawdjopnfwad faioj pwafdi ojpfwdao"
"think before you say each word"
"you broke a promise to your daughter"

"Lisa cried, then I cried, then Maggie laughed, shes such a little trooper"

"I dont want to alarm you boy but there may be a boogyman or boogymen in the house"

"gee nothing marge just alittle incident involving the boogyman! None of this would have happened if you were home to stop me acting stupid"

"I call him Gamblor.... etc"

See My Vest

Burns: Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,

Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best,

So let's prepare these dogs,

Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs,

Burns: See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.

"Now restaurant fail. Children go to state college. Serious students powerless against drunken jockocracy. Baseball hats everywhere."

"I dont even believe in Jebus"

something like
"...read my favourite book 'Magazine'"

"please save me superman"

yeah, who drinks fosters?!

Tourists & old blokes. And the poms, but the stuff they have over there is watered down anyway.

Charles Montgomery Burns: Smithers.. release the flying monkeys

Tourists & old blokes. And the poms, but the stuff they have over there is watered down anyway.
In our (brits) defence, fosters is drunk for the simple reason that it's often £1 a pint (that's 2.20AUD, 1.80USD)(pint being 568ml)

aahh the 4.0% ABV taste of fosters.. give me VB anyday

Not sure of the beginning of the conversation, between Marge & Bart, about a lot of money and Bart says he wants a monkey man, Marge tells him only God could do that and Bart comes up with the funniest line


Bart: "God, Schmod, I want my monkey man!"

Laugh? Well yes actually, a lot

Charles Montgomery Burns: Smithers.. release the flying monkeys

fly my pretties, fly

lol, this thread is awesome :)

Native Boy: Would you like a coconut sir?
Homer: Nah, just pass me another horse testicle.


aahh the 4.0% ABV taste of fosters.. give me VB anyday

Good man! :D

I liked the episode where Jessica asked Nick if tuna was made out of chicken

Charles Montgomery Burns: Smithers.. release the flying monkeys


In our (brits) defence, fosters is drunk for the simple reason that it's often £1 a pint (that's 2.20AUD, 1.80USD)(pint being 568ml)

aahh the 4.0% ABV taste of fosters.. give me VB anyday

Mmmm cheap, but nast beer. A terrible moral dilemna.

Of course, thanks for that. I'd have to say he's my favourite minor Simpsons character.

Duffman says a lot of things! Oh Yeah!

I actually have a duffman outfit :p

Homer - "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."

Homer - "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems."

Flanders - "I think we just hit something."
Homer - "I hope it was Flanders!"

Homer - "Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

Or just some bizar conversations in the beginning of an episode:

Lisa: Where's Bart? His Mountain Dew is getting flat.
Marge: That's odd! He's outside digging!
Homer: Probably digging for drugs..
Marge: There's no drugs out there..
Homer: No of.. course not.

Lisa: What are you doing?
Bart: Digging..
Lisa: Why?
Bart: To make a hole.
Lisa: A hole for what?
Bart: More digging..

Homer: Oh! Hello young man. Beautiful day for digging, isn't it?
Bart: Yep.
Homer: Yeah uh... digging for anything in particular?
Bart: Nuh uh..
Homer: So I guess you wouldn't mind if I was to dig a hole of my own?
Bart: Go for it.
Homer: Maybe I will.
Bart: What's stopping you?
Homer: Very little.

A bit later in the episode

Song (a la "i love rock n'roll"): I wont drink at Moe's. Homer's old garage is all I need. I wont drink at Moe's, cuz he's a big jerk and a she-male too.

lol, this thread is awesome :)

Native Boy: Would you like a coconut sir?
Homer: Nah, just pass me another horse testicle.



Good man! :D

Victor Bravo.

You can get it anyhow, matter of fact I've got it now. A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer & the best cold beer is Vic. Victoria Bitter.

Cue ripped off theme music from the Magnificent Seven. :p

Victor Bravo.

You can get it anyhow, matter of fact I've got it now. A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer & the best cold beer is Vic. Victoria Bitter.

Cue ripped off theme music from the Magnificent Seven. :p
As a South Aussie I have to say im mortified

As a South Aussie I have to say im mortified

I was born in South Australia, and you have the worst beer in the country. West End? Southwark? Ugh.

Only XXXX comes close to how shit those are.

A quote from one of the newer ones I quite like

Krusty brand clothing is made for kids by kids and we pass the slavings on to you.

I was born in South Australia, and you have the worst beer in the country. West End? Southwark? Ugh.

Only XXXX comes close to how shit those are.
Coooopers, wouldnt go near west end

"mmm.... Memo." - After sticking a pencil in a stick of butter.

For my second quote, observe my signiture below.

Coooopers, wouldnt go near west end

Coopers is actually my favourite Aussie beer, particularly the sparkling ale.

Bart: Do you think he was involved with the Kenedy assasination
Homer: I do! ......... now

When Bart gets kisssed...
Bart: there is only one thing to do at a time like this..... strut!
[cue BeeGee's type strutting music]

The Xfiles one with Mr Spock.
Spock: It is of course all lies, but entertaining lies, and isnt that in the end the greater truth?
[raises eyebrow]
Spock: The answers, of course, no...
[Then he leaves and the sound guy has to take over]
Sound guy: Until next week, keep watching the ski's! (Yes he says ski's).

Homer: To beer! and to Marge, the bringer of beer!
(I say that one to my wife all the time)

In the Stonecutters episode:
[homer is being thrown out of the cult, naked he is dragging a large stone chained around his neck]
Patrick Stewart as the leader [spots birthmark]: He is the chosen one! Release the Stone of Shame at once! ...
Homer: Woo hoo!
Patrick Stewart: ... and attach the Stone of Triumph!
[they attach an even bigger stone (huge) to Homer]


lol

Bart: What part of De De Mow don't you understand?

Coooopers, wouldnt go near west end

That's alright then. :)

concierge: hellooooooooooo
homer: *can't remember*
concierge: yeeeeeeeeeesssss
homer: why are you talking like that?
concierge: because i've had a stroke.

this makes me laugh just thinking about it

:D

Nun: "We nuns cannot fly."

Homer: "Ah-too much junk in the trunk?"

Nun: "Yes."

Homer with his rubbish bin back cracker - One, two, better not sue.

Like Batman theme music: "nah na na na na na na na nah na na na na na na na, lee - der!"

Sung to the tune of the 'cheers' theme tune...

When the weight of the world has go you down, and you want to end your life
bills to pay, dead and job and problems with the wife
well don't throw in the towel cos theres a place right down the block
where you can drink your misery away

at flaming moes (lets all go to flaming moes)
where liquer in a mug
can warm you like a hug
happiness is just a flaming moe away...

Bart: [over PA as they drive through the town] Hey, everybody, vote for my Dad, Homer Simpson. If you don't, he'll beat us.
Homer: [over PA] Why you little... er... no one's gonna beat you, son. [quieter, but still over PA] You're gonna get such a beating!

oh and..

Kent Brockman: "Roads closed, pipes frozen, albinos virtually invisible. The weather service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard from 'Winter Wonderland' to a 'Class 3 kill Storm'.

Homer - "Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

ROFL that's one of mine! So is the REM one, whoever mentioned that.

The whole episode with Rock and Roll camp is hilarious...I can't see Lenny Kravitz now without thinking, 'Don't you have a crotch to stuff, Lenny?" And when Homer calls Elvis Costello "Nerdlinger"...and the bit where he's talking really fast and says "and I found some stuff in the corner and I ate it and now I'm afraid if I stop talking I'll die!"

Also love the whole U2 episode, of course, because U2 is my favourite. "If I didn't have my spoons I'd go insane."

Marge: Grampa, I'm not afraid!
Grampa: Then you're not paying close enough attention!

And I can't think of the episode now, but when Flanders is all discombobulated and just keeps randomly saying "iddly" and "oodly" in the middle of all his sentences...fantastic.

All-time favourite is probably "Save me Jeebus!!" though!

yeah there are many good ones...

Homer:
- "Listen kids, If you want to succeed in life you'll have to work hard to earn it. Now shut up, they're about to anounce the lottery numbers!"

- "Every parents dream...to outlive their children."

- "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get."

Apu:
- "Thank you for dropping by. See you in hell."

[english skills]
- "Yes sir, No sir, maybe, hot dog."

These are probably not exact but anyway.

Marge: What kind of mileage does it [Wolfcastle's Hummer-like car] get?
Rainier Wolfcastle: One highway, zero city.
Marge: Wooo!

I think this is what you were looking for. It's on Songs In The key Of Springfield :p

Grampa- "You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place i'm not sure I'ver Ever been to"

Grandma Bouvier "You're so sweet"

Grampa "ooohhhh, I feel all funny. I'M IN LOVE!! Now, wait, it's a stroke"
;) :gundge:

Jimbo: "Dude, you where kissing a girl. That's so gay."

Ralph, or Martin I don't remember: "Ah, sleep. That's where I'm a viking."

I hope I get this one-
Grandpa Simpson: "Your like a song I've never heard about a place I've never been to from a time I can't remember."

Nope, that ain't it. Someone want to correct that?

And I can't think of the episode now, but when Flanders is all discombobulated and just keeps randomly saying "iddly" and "oodly" in the middle of all his sentences...fantastic.



It's the father and son rafting one where they get lost at sea and Homer smells a Krusty Burger on the oil rig. Flanders loses it and as you say, gets into a "iddly, oodly" loop, Homer has to slap him.......v.v.v.funny indeed

The twins in barts dream:

"Bart's sold his soul,
and that's just swell,
now he's going straight to hello operator gimme number nine...."

then l8 in the dream when their all on the lake:

"......now it's time to end this dream,
and don't forget the usual scream!"

Bart then wakes up and screams the house down!!!!!

it just sticks in my memory!!!!

Homer: Well kids you tried. And you failed miserable. The leason here: Never try.

Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentaly proved there's no god.
Flanders: We'll just see about tha.. oh.. maybe he made a mistake? Nope... it's airtight.

Homer: Oh, who am I kidding? I am slow.
Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always
things you can do to feel better.
Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor?
Marge: There's that...or you could take an adult education course.
Homer: Oh, and how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter?
Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old
stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-
making course and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer: I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer: If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end in digging up a corpse?

---------------------------------------

ghost of George Washington: I guess I'll have to find another little girl to become President. What's your friend Janie's number?
Lisa: Not Janie! She'll pack the Supreme Court with boys!!

---------------------------------------

Dr Nick Riverea has to be the best...


"why if it isnt my old friend Mr McGreg with a leg for a arm and a arm for a leg"

"OHH NOO BLOOD! "

During a operation "what the hell is that??"
"the knee bone is connected to the something, the something is connected to my wrist watch"

D'oh! *with the tongue out of the mouth*

"Whose going to want to buy a drug that makes you go blind?"
"We'll let marketing worry about that"

It was in that episdoe where Homer has a crayon lodged up his nose

But I have to say one of the bits that made me laugh the most was in that one where all the Simpson are part of Bible stories. The one where Bart was David and Nelson was Goliath. The bit where Ralph (a shepherd) goes to kill Goliath. You see him walk off into the distance and then you get the image of a gravestone. Later in the episode Bart is being defeated by Goliath and then the grave stone comes spinning out of no where and kills Goliath. Had me in stitches.

Just 'bout every one funnier w/context ....
"Welcome to my nightmare." (share the image)
"Baby ... BABY .... lemon."
"Banana bread? What the hell were you thinking? I .. sorry, sorry."
'r something like that ... same episode.
There's plenty more.