NationStates Jolt Archive


A sign of hope...and love...

PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 21:23
Well, I shall share my love happiness with you all.
A little over two years ago, on Saturday, August 24th, 2002, I was browsing through FFnet when I stumbled on the BTTF section. Now, I had only just heard of FFnet, so I had no idea what all was available there. Anyway, I go in and take a look at this one fic being written entitled, without much originality, as "Back to the Future: Part IV".
At the time, of course, I was hardly the critic--that is, well-knowledgable where fanfiction is concerned--of fanfiction that I am today, so at the time I thought it was pretty good. So I took a look at the reviews; turns out the author, using the pen name Marty McFly, was offering a major part in the fic. Being the BTTF fanatic that I am, I e-mailed for it immediately; that's why I remember the exact date, because I still have that legendary e-mail in my sent folder. Anyway, turns out the author's actual name was Alyssa Campiran; she lives in California. For the first month or so, we were just sorta pen pals, e-mailing each other mostly about her story. About a month after our meeting, she e-mailed me saying that all of her "friends"(actually, they were bastards to her) had left her. She had actually lied to me about her age; she'd said before she was fourteen; she was actually thirteen. She was begging me not to leave her too.
Of course, I saw no reason to leave her. She was a pretty good friend, and especially needed a good friend at that point; that was my logic at the time, anyway. I didn't care about the age bit; heck, we've all lied about our age at points, right?
That's when I think she first began to love me; that at least started it, and she found loads of reasons beyond that one, and we're getting off tangent. Anyway, we go on e-mailing each other for another month, when I finally decide that, since we're in contact so frequently, it would actually be a lot easier if we set up a Yahoo! Group. So I do so, let her know about it, and we move our messages there. Soon after that, I began to fall in love myself. I think at first it was due to simply how sweet she could be, how much she needed a friend, and I guess my caring for her just sort of built up to that; it's one of love's mysteries, I guess. So I told her for the first time, I think around October 24(I don't remember the date because the Group no longer exists. Why, you ask? Just wait; it'll be revealed.) She replied back saying she loved me too, and we kept it on there.
Around Christmas time, we faced the first test of our love. One of her few "friends"(another bastard, actually, though we didn't know it for some time)that hadn't left her, a trekkie by the name of Phil, decided it would be a funny prank to send e-mails to both her and me impersonating the other--he was quite the hacker and easily got into our e-mail clients--saying we hated the other. We muddled through it, finally figuring out it was him, and she banished him; at least, that's how she referred to the way she ended her friendship with him. We changed our e-mail passwords; I got some anti-hacking software, and we moved on, still doting on one another.
I should reveal a couple things about myself before I go on, so that the next incidents will make more sense. First, I'm a very caring person; it's one reason for why it's so easy for me to be picked on, and even so, even if I'm picked on for years by a person, if that person is feeling down, I still try to comfort them; that's how caring I am. (It's one reason I want to go into politics; to change the country in that sense). Second, I'm manic-depressive. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I have extreme and sudden moods swings from being excessively happy(manic) to being excessively sad or angry(depressive.)
Our next test came late January. You see, around that time, I had the idea of going out on a road trip with quite a few of my friends; this was one way I saw Lyss(my pet nickname for her)and myself being able to spend some time in person. So I had raised the idea to her around late November, and we kept it on the back-burner until she finally decided to try telling her mom about me. Big mistake. (By the way, her parents are divorced.)
First, she made the mistake of talking about the road trip first rather than about me. Even had it not been for that slip though, I'm certain the end result would have been the same: her mom panicked, thinking I was an internet stalker, banned her from using the internet for a week, and I became quite worried during that time. Fortunately, she ended up being able to use the internet from her dad's all the time anyway, so we kept it up with that after that week.
Flash-forward to summer. My family had been in a bad financial situation for quite a while; it's what led us to move to Colorado about a month before I met Lyss, and now it caused us to move to my Aunt Linda's down in Lakewood-60 miles from Bailey. Why'd we move there? Because otherwise, we'd have nowhere to live.
Anyway, for a while, I didn't have internet access because our computer wasn't set up, things got kinda crazy for a while. But, we hooked back up once I got back online, and things proceeded as if the interruption had never happened.
Later in the summer, I finally got the crazy idea that we should start talking on the phone. Our first phone call(it was always from her dad's) was filled with nervousness; after all, we had only ever exchanged sound bytes of our voices and pictures before this. But, we soon got over it, and our love for each other began to grow even more since then.
Flash-forward again to early October. A friend of her's by the name of Eddie was moving away, and had gotten quite angry at me because there had been several days in a row where I hadn't said anything to Lyss(why exactly, I can no longer remember; but it definitely wasn't intentional.) He was convinced I was just toying with her, and told me to leave her.
Now, I could have reacted in anger, as I had with Phil. But, because of my caring nature, I didn't. I reread the e-mail from him several times, and came to the soon-to-be-proven-correct conclusion that he loved her too, and instead responded in a calm, friendly manner. The issue was resolved, and he moved soon after.
At Christmas, this time I decided to send her a present. So I decided to buy a necklace for her. I had wanted to get one of those necklaces that split in two; you know, the half-heart necklaces? Instead, I found one that, considering our interests, had a double meaning: it was a heart that had a keyhole, and came with a key. Since we were both major Kingdom Hearts fans, and it fit what I wanted for the necklace anyway, I bought a gold-gilded version, and sent it to her. This caused a brief tizy because everyone in her family got excited about her "package from Colorado"( I had been supposed to send it to her cousin Art, with his name on it, but I accidently forgot to put his name on it.) But she settled it by saying it was something she'd bought on eBay. I'm wearing that key that came with it right now.
During the week of Valentine's Day, 2004, I experianced a very strong surge of manic-depressiveness, mostly depressive. This was due mostly to the stress I had been experiancing having to go 60 miles just one way to get to school(My parents purposefully kept my sisters, my little brother and I in the Platte Canyon School District because we always had the intention of moving back there, and I had no intention of going to a city high school anyway) everyday, plus dealing with crap from people at school. So on that weekend, when she called me, I ended up refusing to talk to her, having my sister tell her I didn't want to see her anymore, and a lot of that. That Saturday night, I received an e-mail from her telling me she'd left me forever.
I'd thought at that point we were actually through, and for a while that Sunday morning, I'd thought I could take it easily. Heh, fat chance on that one. I actually ended up sending an apology letter; I didn't expect her to come back to me, of course, but I'd sent it anyway. As it turns out, when I decided to check my e-mail at about 12:30 AM that night(the house is extremely small, so the computer was in the same area where my parents were sleeping on the floor on an air mattress, so being on that late was a risky prospect) I recieved one telling me that she forgave me completely, that she had no idea what that other e-mail was about, and all that. Right then, I knew the love that I felt for her was true love. Why? Because when I read that e-mail, I began to cry. They were tears of joy, and they didn't stop flowing for over fifteen minutes; it even woke up my parents. I was just so happy right then. We later found out that the e-mail was from Art, but we were still friends with him after that; our relationship with him was always weird anyway, and still is.
Shortly before the summer, we finally decided that there was no way we could wait; one of us had to visit the other. It ended up being me visiting her.
Now, you've gotta remember, her parents completely hated me at this point, so we were going behind their backs. I had convinced my parents to pay for the plane ticket by telling them that her dad was OK with it, and we had to do it that day because her mom would be out of town on a business trip(which actually turned out to be false, on both accounts, obviously.) So, on Sunday, July 18th, 2004, I boarded the plane at DIA, and flew to California.
The trips' exact details are unimportant and personal, but what I will say is that trip dispelled any doubt that remained at all about our love; we definitely loved each other. Unfortunately, we were caught, by both her parents. Things aside, I left the next day after a brief meeting with her mom, which really only occurred so her mom could get as much info on me as possible.
Despite what we were told by her mom, that we'd be able to continue having contact, we didn't. She cancelled her internet service at home, banned Lyss from using the computer and the phone, unless she was dialing and talking right in front of her. Lyss couldn't even keep her bedroom door closed; that's how rediculous it became with her.
Obviously, her mom and dad both had a right to be angry, so punishment of some sort did make sense. I received my own, of course: I was banned from computer and phone usage for two weeks, but was otherwise able to do things. My parents were simply being firm with me; they otherwise supported me.
We had no contact for over a month and a half. Her mom spent that entire time ladling insult after insult about me, my family, Lyss herself, and a hoard of other things to Lyss during that time, and is keeping it up today. We only have contact now because she's in school, and her friend Aaron has been relaying e-mails back and forth; it's a pretty efficiant system, actually. And it has continued to the present day.
This is how we know we truly love each other. Because, no matter what has happened, no matter what we faced, we still wanted to be with each other. We love each other truly.
Also, here's an interesting fact about my key necklace. You see, the chain part of it had always been ridiculous to wear, since it was so small, so we replaced it with a much larger chain. Since then, I have never taken my necklace off for anything: showers, pool-swimming, P.E., you name it, I still kept it on. And, despite all of the chemicals it must have withstood from the shampoo and conditioner, and the chlorine from the pools, the gold gilding on it has not worn off at all. And, as you know, gold is one of the weakest metals; it should have worn off a long time ago. But it hasn't. That also says quite a lot about our love for each other, I think anyway.

So, what do you all have to say about this? Does this give you any hope of finding your own love if you haven't already? Does it cause you dispair? Or do you simply not care? Please, I want all opinions.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 21:35
A heart warming tale indeed my lad :D.

Gold, it is valued because no matter what you do it never corrupts. It is very unreactive, a good solid thing to build you life around. (I mean an analogy of love not the gold istelf, cos that would be wierd :P)

Wish you luck.
Chicken pi
11-01-2005, 21:36
I wish you two luck in the future and I hope you get over the issues with her parents.
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 21:45
Thank you both; I know she and I will get through this. It will take a lot of time, but it is worth it.
The Tribes Of Longton
11-01-2005, 21:53
So her mum and dad are being wierd about it all, even though they have met you and know you aren't a 40yr old paedo and are probably (even though I don't know) a nice guy. DId they catch you fooling around or something?

Oh, forgot. Best of luck mate
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 21:57
So her mum and dad are being wierd about it all, even though they have met you and know you aren't a 40yr old paedo and are probably (even though I don't know) a nice guy. DId they catch you fooling around or something?

Oh, forgot. Best of luck mate
No; we hid the trip from them because we knew they'd never allow it, but they found out about it shortly after I arrived; they were worried sick the entire day and thought I had murdered her. Obviously, I hadn't. Now, her dad is understanding but still strict, whereas her mom I swear is insane. And I mean that; if you knew every little thing her mom did, you'd believe the same thing. All of Alyssa's relatives feel that her mom is insane, but her mom won't ever listen. >_>
The Tribes Of Longton
11-01-2005, 22:10
No; we hid the trip from them because we knew they'd never allow it, but they found out about it shortly after I arrived; they were worried sick the entire day and thought I had murdered her. Obviously, I hadn't. Now, her dad is understanding but still strict, whereas her mom I swear is insane. And I mean that; if you knew every little thing her mom did, you'd believe the same thing. All of Alyssa's relatives feel that her mom is insane, but her mom won't ever listen. >_>
Probably because she's insane :D. Maybe you should try this one (bearing in mind I have no idea of the costs) - go to her, rent a crap room for cheap as near as possible, get her to sneak out to you. Nothing sexual necessarily, just somewhere for the two of you to be alone with no-one worrying. But if you are too young/she is too young for sex, don't do it because her mum will almost certainly have you arrested
Chicken pi
11-01-2005, 22:17
Probably because she's insane :D. Maybe you should try this one (bearing in mind I have no idea of the costs) - go to her, rent a crap room for cheap as near as possible, get her to sneak out to you. Nothing sexual necessarily, just somewhere for the two of you to be alone with no-one worrying. But if you are too young/she is too young for sex, don't do it because her mum will almost certainly have you arrested

Maybe going out for a day would be better. You know, going sightseeing, shopping, visiting a restaurant, etc. Going to a cheap hotel has seedy overtones, whatever the purpose.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 22:22
That's true. Get an expensive hotel room :P.
The Tribes Of Longton
11-01-2005, 22:23
Maybe going out for a day would be better. You know, going sightseeing, shopping, visiting a restaurant, etc. Going to a cheap hotel has seedy overtones, whatever the purpose.
They could co camping with both sets of parents. And sleep in separate tents. That get locked. OK. Too far with the locking, but camping 'might' be alright. I suggested the night thing because PIcaRDMPCia said they couldn't see each other in the day
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 22:24
Well, we already did the trip, and there's no way we'll be able to manage another one; her mom has her locked down, and her dad not much better. >_>
The trip was nice, though, very nice; it was wonderful. We won't see each other in person again till sometime next year, unless some kind of miracle occurs.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 22:26
Well, we already did the trip, and there's no way we'll be able to manage another one; her mom has her locked down, and her dad not much better. >_>
The trip was nice, though, very nice; it was wonderful. We won't see each other in person again till sometime next year, unless some kind of miracle occurs.
You heard him people, get those luck glands working :P.

To true love time is imaterial, and the test of a long distnce relationship, what is one more year compared to seeing her again?
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 22:28
You heard him people, get those luck glands working :P.

To true love time is imaterial, and the test of a long distnce relationship, what is one more year compared to seeing her again?
Exactly. I know it'll be hard, but I can stand the wait if it means we'll be together. We're beginning to make marriage plans, too, actually, though we won't be able to till she turns eighteen, which is September 28th, 2007.
Chicken pi
11-01-2005, 22:33
Exactly. I know it'll be hard, but I can stand the wait if it means we'll be together. We're beginning to make marriage plans, too, actually, though we won't be able to till she turns eighteen, which is September 28th, 2007.

And all this stuff is sent via a friend of her's, too? Where there's a will, there's a way...
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 22:34
Exactly. I know it'll be hard, but I can stand the wait if it means we'll be together. We're beginning to make marriage plans, too, actually, though we won't be able to till she turns eighteen, which is September 28th, 2007.
Yikes, thats a way away. Youll be able to come over to the UK to see the Minerva building finish then. Aah 2007 that will be a great year for London.
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 22:39
Well, I know this: I'm moving to California sometime in 2006, so we'll be seeing each other off and on during the year up to 2007. Plus, because she graduates high school at 17, she and I will be attending the same college. Once we get to a certain point it's just a matter of waiting.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 22:42
That's the spirit :D.
The Tribes Of Longton
11-01-2005, 22:44
Well, I know this: I'm moving to California sometime in 2006, so we'll be seeing each other off and on during the year up to 2007. Plus, because she graduates high school at 17, she and I will be attending the same college. Once we get to a certain point it's just a matter of waiting.
Is there nowhere in the US where you can get married at 16? Not even Vegas?
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 22:48
Is there nowhere in the US where you can get married at 16? Not even Vegas?
Actually, in many states you can get married as young as 14. The problem is, you require parental permission...from both sides. There's no way in hell we're getting that from either her mom or dad.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 22:49
Actually, in many states you can get married as young as 14. The problem is, you require parental permission...from both sides. There's no way in hell we're getting that from either her mom or dad.
Seriously marriage ain't to important, it would just make everyhting harder if you found out youd made a mistake.
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 22:53
Seriously marriage ain't to important, it would just make everyhting harder if you found out youd made a mistake.
Well, it's a case of making it formal, and it solidifies relationships in an even better way than they already are. Consider this: if we're still in love by that time, why, I'd say that our marriage will never go wrong. After all, my own parents have been married for 19 years, and I've yet to see them fight in my entire life. Ever.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 22:55
Well, it's a case of making it formal, and it solidifies relationships in an even better way than they already are. Consider this: if we're still in love by that time, why, I'd say that our marriage will never go wrong. After all, my own parents have been married for 19 years, and I've yet to see them fight in my entire life. Ever.
Excellent sentiments, i wonder if ill be able to get married by the time ive found the right person. I can only hope :P :D.
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 22:57
Indeed. My own situation gives me hope that everyone will find someone they love.
Anyone else wish to comment?
The Tribes Of Longton
11-01-2005, 22:58
Indeed. My own situation gives me hope that everyone will find someone they love.
Anyone else wish to comment?
My love life sucks.

I hate you all.


I need huggles

*reaches out to people he doesn't know* :(
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 23:03
My love life sucks.

I hate you all.


I need huggles

*reaches out to people he doesn't know* :(
*hugs you* You'll find your person; I guarentee you.
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 23:37
Anyone else wish to comment at all?
Andaluciae
11-01-2005, 23:44
Gold, while physically weak, is also non-reactive. So, it's survival isn't all that surprising.

Hell, they plate turbines in some powerplants with gold, as it is so non-reactive.

God, I'm a killjoy.
The Emperor Fenix
11-01-2005, 23:45
Its a symbol of eternal life.
Jordaxia
11-01-2005, 23:48
Eh, not really much to say, is there? Best wishes in all things, I suppose. It's good that you began as friends first, though. After all, friendships are built on firmer foundation than just attraction or infatuation. It should stand you in good stead.
PIcaRDMPCia
11-01-2005, 23:56
Gold, while physically weak, is also non-reactive. So, it's survival isn't all that surprising.

Hell, they plate turbines in some powerplants with gold, as it is so non-reactive.

God, I'm a killjoy.
>_> Be quiet you; it's still symbolic as far as I'm concerned.
The Tribes Of Longton
11-01-2005, 23:58
>_> Be quiet you; it's still symbolic as far as I'm concerned.
I prefer a vat of pig's blood bestowed upon the loved one at the stroke of midnight on the 29th Feb. But, you know, whatever floats your boat










Wierdo :D
The Emperor Fenix
12-01-2005, 00:02
I prefer a vat of pig's blood bestowed upon the loved one at the stroke of midnight on the 29th Feb.

You too! We're so alike.
The Tribes Of Longton
12-01-2005, 00:06
You too! We're so alike.
I know you! You were the guy in the hood....at the last ritual killing - 4th from left on the front row. Am I right? :p ;)
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 00:06
Perhaps you two should get together sometime. ;)
(Note: I'm trying to keep this thread afloat so others will see it.)
The Tribes Of Longton
12-01-2005, 00:07
Perhaps you two should get together sometime. ;)
(Note: I'm trying to keep this thread afloat so others will see it.)
Me too. I'm not actually a satanist. Just so you know (although some fundamentalist Christians call me satan for being atheist)
The Emperor Fenix
12-01-2005, 00:10
I know you! You were the guy in the hood....at the last ritual killing - 4th from left on the front row. Am I right? :p ;)
I remember you. Oh happy times.

(I also am not a satanists, though i call christians satanists for not believe in CHICK, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR)
The Tribes Of Longton
12-01-2005, 00:11
I remember you. Oh happy times.

(I also am not a satanists, though i call christians satanists for not believe in CHICK, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR)
Pah. Chick is not our Lord and Saviour, Torching Witches is. He is the Second Coming, don't you know. And you get a free pie (when stolen from the supermarket) and get to be as naughty as you like
Chicken pi
12-01-2005, 00:13
Pah. Chick is not our Lord and Saviour, Torching Witches is. He is the Second Coming, don't you know. And you get a free pie (when stolen from the supermarket) and get to be as naughty as you like

Does He mind people taking His name in vain?
The Emperor Fenix
12-01-2005, 00:13
Pah. Chick is not our Lord and Saviour, Torching Witches is. He is the Second Coming, don't you know. And you get a free pie (when stolen from the supermarket) and get to be as naughty as you like
!!! Chick will not stand for this. If Chick were here right now he'd smite you, and then smite everyone else. And especially smite you Picard. Do you not know love is unholy and controlled by satan and the pope.

This is the word of Chick
The Tribes Of Longton
12-01-2005, 00:17
Does He mind people taking His name in vain?
Nope, as long as you say TWitches.

!!! Chick will not stand for this. If Chick were here right now he'd smite you, and then smite everyone else. And especially smite you Picard. Do you not know love is unholy and controlled by satan and the pope.

This is the word of Chick
The word of Chick is blasphemy! I don't know this Picard, but I do know that Chick is in league with the Pope and GWBush! Yeah, the spawn of satan himself! I say we have a crusade against each other right now. You and me, come on!

*growls*
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 00:19
!!! Chick will not stand for this. If Chick were here right now he'd smite you, and then smite everyone else. And especially smite you Picard. Do you not know love is unholy and controlled by satan and the pope.

This is the word of Chick
Oye...you people and your religions...*wishes he was with his girlfriend right now*
Neo-Anarchists
12-01-2005, 00:24
PIcaRDMPCia, I wish you both lots of luck!
Keep at it!
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 00:26
PIcaRDMPCia, I wish you both lots of luck!
Keep at it!
Thank ye, my anarchist friend.
Jordaxia
12-01-2005, 00:29
Thank ye, my anarchist friend.

du.... hey!
I wished you well as well on the last page, and you ignored it!
*blubbers*
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 00:31
du.... hey!
I wished you well as well on the last page, and you ignored it!
*blubbers*
My apologies; thank you as well.
The Emperor Fenix
12-01-2005, 00:31
Nope, as long as you say TWitches.


The word of Chick is blasphemy! I don't know this Picard, but I do know that Chick is in league with the Pope and GWBush! Yeah, the spawn of satan himself! I say we have a crusade against each other right now. You and me, come on!

*growls*

My Ninja Pirate Butlers wouldnt even sully their gloved hooks with you, theyre too busy wishing Picard here luck.
The NationStates Bat
12-01-2005, 00:36
Distance relationships are hard to sustain. However, it has been done. If you really like this girl do all you can to kiss up to her parents. After all, if things continue on as you hope, they will be your in-laws someday. If I were you I'd start some kind of correspondence with them. Get her permission and start sending her cards c/o her parents with the understanding that it's OK for the parents to open the cards and read them. Do your best to appear mature and responsible in what you write. Discuss those of your activities that you know parents would approve of. They don't know you and that's why her mother freaked out. You need to let them see the best of you because that's what they want for their daughter. The more you dispell the bad first impression your secrecy caused, the easier it will be to get them to agree that it's OK for the two of you to have contact.

Sneaking around can be exciting but ultimately it will make things harder for the two of you.
The Tribes Of Longton
12-01-2005, 00:40
My Ninja Pirate Butlers wouldnt even sully their gloved hooks with you, theyre too busy wishing Picard here luck.
They are already dead or converted to Haroldianism, the official religion of Torching Witches. Those converted wish Picard good look and happiness
Goed Twee
12-01-2005, 01:20
Good luck man. I'm somewhat in the same position-a girl and I like each other, but she's korean, and her parents...well, let's just say "ouch."
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 01:24
Distance relationships are hard to sustain. However, it has been done. If you really like this girl do all you can to kiss up to her parents. After all, if things continue on as you hope, they will be your in-laws someday. If I were you I'd start some kind of correspondence with them. Get her permission and start sending her cards c/o her parents with the understanding that it's OK for the parents to open the cards and read them. Do your best to appear mature and responsible in what you write. Discuss those of your activities that you know parents would approve of. They don't know you and that's why her mother freaked out. You need to let them see the best of you because that's what they want for their daughter. The more you dispell the bad first impression your secrecy caused, the easier it will be to get them to agree that it's OK for the two of you to have contact.

Sneaking around can be exciting but ultimately it will make things harder for the two of you.

Now, you see, that would work, except her mom would never be open to it; her dad might be, but never her mom. Plus, just so you all know, Alyssa, and her entire family for that matter, is Hispanic. So...yeah, that causes a mild amount more problems than otherwise.
Good luck with your own situation, Goad Twee.
The NationStates Bat
12-01-2005, 01:39
Now, you see, that would work, except her mom would never be open to it; her dad might be, but never her mom. Plus, just so you all know, Alyssa, and her entire family for that matter, is Hispanic. So...yeah, that causes a mild amount more problems than otherwiseNever say never until you try. The more you try to get into their good graces the better chance you will have to see her and she will appreciate your efforts. Get to know her culture better and what behavior is considered acceptable for a young man courting a young lady. If the parents are first generation I strongly suggest you start studying Spanish and let them know you are doing it and why. Send your first letter to them (after telling your gf your plans and getting her consent) apologizing for your bad behavior (because that is how they see it). Explain that you want to continue contacting her but you don't want to do it behind their backs so from now on you will be writing her c/o them and continue even if you get a bad or no reaction. If they tell you to stop, you may have to respect their wishes but I would ask them if it is OK to send them a christmas card with updates for the next two years. If you persist in dealing with them honestly and politely, they will see that you are sincere.

Right now the mother probably thinks you are just toying with her daughter. That's why she's so pissed.

Goed Twee, the same goes for you. If the parents are immigrants, start studying Korean and the Korean culture and let them know you are doing it because you care about their daughter and their good opinion.
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 01:49
Bat, seriously, thank you for the advice, but I can't follow it. Trust me; the situation is a lot more complex than I could really ever explain to someone who hasn't been following it. That just won't work in this case. I really wish it could, but believe me, it can't.
It has been tried, by the way; as mentioned in the story, Alyssa tried to tell her mom about me. But her mom immediately panicked and cut it all off, and refuses to ever tolorate anymore contact. Her mom has been hateful and abusive towards Lyss, and has spewed numerous insults about myself and my family to Lyss that aren't even remotely true. Trust me, this is one woman you simply cannot work with.
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 02:57
Would anyone else like to comment?
The NationStates Bat
12-01-2005, 03:35
If you say you can't work with the mother, you've already cut your own throat. You are the supplicant. Like I said, if things go as you wish, this woman will be your in-law someday. Yoiur girlfriend can't run interference for you. It's in your best interest to prove to her parents that you can be trusted and you have to do it yourself.
PIcaRDMPCia
12-01-2005, 03:42
If you say you can't work with the mother, you've already cut your own throat. You are the supplicant. Like I said, if things go as you wish, this woman will be your in-law someday. Yoiur girlfriend can't run interference for you. It's in your best interest to prove to her parents that you can be trusted and you have to do it yourself.
I know that. But her mom is just someone you cannot work with, especially since she abuses Alyssa both verbally and emotionally. She does her absolute best to make Lyss feel horrible, and won't listen to reason. Ever. This is a woman who should never be taking care of a child.
Now, yes, she'll be my in-law someday; that doesn't mean I have to work with her at all. If she disowns me, fine; I don't care. All I care about is being with the person I love. Again, thank you for the advice, but just trust that I understand the situation much better than you do.