NationStates Jolt Archive

As Monty Python use to say, "And now for something completely different!" :D

"In fact, the Liberal coalition is frighteningly like the class structure of the European societies from which America diverged. A needy underclass sending respect and obedience up to a privileged elite. The elite, in turn, dribbles down bread and hospitals. Needy souls dependent upon charity for the sustenance of their bodies, in symbiosis with an elite of busybodies dependent upon giving charity for the salvation of their souls. It's not progressive. It's medieval. This is one reason why the liberal elite is so in love with Europe. There the two classes know their places and dance the dance without interruption by freewheeling hillbilly hayseeds that just want to be left alone. Europe is more liberal. Liberalism being a co-dependency. America, by contrast, still has a large middle class that values independence over co-dependence. This leads to considerable frustration of America's liberals, who cannot even 'imagine' how anyone would not want their help. So they are left -- in piqued disbelief -- to pore over exit polls to find how their pets were led astray, again. Yeah, the answer is in those exit polls somewhere, My Lord." --Mac Johnson

and yet. . .Europe overall has a stronger economy, is more populus, has a better international governing body, has lower unemployment, produces better products, has a lower infant mortality rate, has fewer abortions, has fewer drug arrests, has virtually no lower class, and is still progressive. Yay leftists!

Who is Mac Johnson, and why do you afford him the honor of being posted on this forum?

and yet. . .Europe overall has a stronger economy, is more populus, has a better international governing body, has lower unemployment, produces better products, has a lower mortality rate, has fewer abortions, has fewer drug arrests, has virtually no lower class, and is still progressive. Yay leftists!
and it only cost centuries of war, the crucifiction of a prophet, and TWO world wars!

and yet. . .Europe overall has a stronger economy, is more populus, has a better international governing body, has lower unemployment, produces better products, has a lower mortality rate, has fewer abortions, has fewer drug arrests, has virtually no lower class, and is still progressive. Yay leftists!

Apart from population size, that is all wrong.

Who is Mac Johnson, and why do you afford him the honor of being posted on this forum?
Um ... basically, I just thought the quote was relevant and it was attributed to him, so ...! :)

For more on this by him see http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=6139

Well, Europe also has a history about. . . .8 or 9 hundred years older than the US.

And, in our two centuries of existance, we've had a civil war, a Mex-Am war, participated in the French-Indian war, been in two world wars, invaded Iraq twice, Afghanistan once, vietnam, korea, and have had countless 'police actions' around the world. Yup, we're off to a great start as well.


And as for all those things Gen Curtis E LeMay, yes, they are pretty much true. The EU is far better than the UN, the Euro is more powerful than the dollar (1.2 dollars last I checked), what would you rather buy? American plastic which is usually from an outsourced country these days or a European product that will actually last for a while? Infant Mortality rate is lower because of better health care, paid mothers to stay at home and better social programs, lower abortions (somewhere around 6 per thousand instead of the US's 24 per thousand), fewer drug arrests because more drugs are legal there, and feel free to look up the unemployment. It's currently high in some areas but has traditionally been lower than the US is is returning that direction.

And yes, it is still progressive.

As Monty Python use to say, "And now for something completely different!" :D

"In fact, the Liberal coalition is frighteningly like the class structure of the European societies from which America diverged. A needy underclass sending respect and obedience up to a privileged elite. The elite, in turn, dribbles down bread and hospitals. Needy souls dependent upon charity for the sustenance of their bodies, in symbiosis with an elite of busybodies dependent upon giving charity for the salvation of their souls. It's not progressive. It's medieval. This is one reason why the liberal elite is so in love with Europe. There the two classes know their places and dance the dance without interruption by freewheeling hillbilly hayseeds that just want to be left alone. Europe is more liberal. Liberalism being a co-dependency. America, by contrast, still has a large middle class that values independence over co-dependence. This leads to considerable frustration of America's liberals, who cannot even 'imagine' how anyone would not want their help. So they are left -- in piqued disbelief -- to pore over exit polls to find how their pets were led astray, again. Yeah, the answer is in those exit polls somewhere, My Lord." --Mac Johnson
Now, hmm. Which side is it that promotes trickle down economics?

and yet. . .Europe overall has a stronger economy, is more populus, has a better international governing body, has lower unemployment, produces better products, has a lower mortality rate, has fewer abortions, has fewer drug arrests, has virtually no lower class, and is still progressive. Yay leftists!
Europe has a bigger economy, that doesn't necessarily translate to strength though.
Is more populous, no arguements.
Has a better international governing body, well, seeing as the US isn't international...
Has lower unemployment, out and out lie.
Produces better products, a title you are losing in all but the most elite spots, like chocolate and beer.
Has a lower mortality rate, you mean your mortality rate is less than 100%?
Has fewer abortions, I won't argue this, as I don't know about this.
Has fewer drug arrests, yet you have fewer drug laws, logical conclusion.
Has virtually no lower class, how about the immigrants, like the Turks in Germany? The reason why you don't have much of a lower class is because you don't count the foreigners.

Um ... basically, I just thought the quote was relevant and it was attributed to him, so ...! :)

For more on this by him see http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=6139

The article up by him starts with this:

On November 2nd, George Bush was re-elected to the presidency by 60,000,000 slant-headed, inbred, gay-bashing automatons who worship someone named Fetus Christ six days a week in suburban megachurches. This we know for sure; the only mystery is how these drooling cultists all found their way to the polls. The best explanation so far is that Karl Rove sent them directions the night before -- via church courier and in comic book form, of course.

Why bother with the rest of the article unless you just want to be pissed off, whether you agree or disagree.

Andaluciae, thanks for pointing out the error, I meant infant mortality rate.

And as for all those things Gen Curtis E LeMay, yes, they are pretty much true. The EU is far better than the UN, the Euro is more powerful than the dollar (1.2 dollars last I checked), what would you rather buy? American plastic which is usually from an outsourced country these days or a European product that will actually last for a while? Infant Mortality rate is lower because of better health care, paid mothers to stay at home and better social programs, lower abortions (somewhere around 6 per thousand instead of the US's 24 per thousand), fewer drug arrests because more drugs are legal there, and feel free to look up the unemployment. It's currently high in some areas but has traditionally been lower than the US is is returning that direction.

And yes, it is still progressive.

Unemployment seems to be higher and staying higher. Espescially in Central Europe where it is utterly ridiculous.
And meanwhile the dollar is higher than the Euro because of intentional policies. And anyways, the dollar has made big gains recently, as it is currently $1.20 US for 1.00 Euro, and not long ago it was $1.32 US for 1.00 Euro, I'd say the dollar is regaining value.
Most cheap plastic crap comes from China and the like, not the US. US products are typically of fairly high quality.
Do you really want more junkies?

Origionally posted by Colodia:
and it only cost centuries of war, the crucifiction of a prophet, and TWO world wars!


All that in a few thousand years?

Lets have a look at america from the beginning : fled persacution, slaughtered the natives of a new world, hated anyone besides themselves for several years, warred the brits, kidnapped thousands of slaves, warred each other, warred the mexicans, warred the spanish, saved europe in world war 2, wiped out hiroshima and nagasaki, stockpiled nukes while invading other countries who had any look of vagely taking an interest in learning the meaning of the word "nuclear", had a stand of with russia (forcing the russian government to put nearly all of its population into work camps or poverty), fought agaisnt negro rights, fought agaisnt freedom of speech, drives third world countries further into the poverty spiral, kills civillians while calling them terrorists, secures oil reserves while giving the real terrorists months to escape, and basiclly criticizing any government that dosent lavish praise that borders on fellatio on them. All that in a few hundred years?

feel free to add to the list

Origionally posted by Colodia:
and it only cost centuries of war, the crucifiction of a prophet, and TWO world wars!


All that in a few thousand years?

Lets have a look at america from the beginning : fled persacution, slaughtered the natives of a new world, hated anyone besides themselves for several years, warred the brits, kidnapped thousands of slaves, warred each other, warred the mexicans, warred the spanish, saved europe in world war 2, wiped out hiroshima and nagasaki, stockpiled nukes while invading other countries who had any look of vagely taking an interest in learning the meaning of the word "nuclear", had a stand of with russia (forcing the russian government to put nearly all of its population into work camps or poverty), fought agaisnt negro rights, fought agaisnt freedom of speech, drives third world countries further into the poverty spiral, kills civillians while calling them terrorists, secures oil reserves while giving the real terrorists months to escape, and basiclly criticizing any government that dosent lavish praise that borders on fellatio on them. All that in a few hundred years?

feel free to add to the list

You seriously don't expect me to list every negative aspect of European history? Because not only is it long, it's really sad.

These Threads Suck

These Threads Suck
Ja...

It's a bit odd, I thought this started as being humorous...

Ja...

It's a bit odd, I thought this started as being humorous...

No matter how they start they always sink into "your side sucks" arguments.

Origionally posted by Colodia:
Lets have a look at america from the beginning : fled persacution, slaughtered the natives of a new world, hated anyone besides themselves for several years, warred the brits, kidnapped thousands of slaves, warred each other, warred the mexicans, warred the spanish, saved europe in world war 2, wiped out hiroshima and nagasaki, stockpiled nukes while invading other countries who had any look of vagely taking an interest in learning the meaning of the word "nuclear", had a stand of with russia (forcing the russian government to put nearly all of its population into work camps or poverty), fought agaisnt negro rights, fought agaisnt freedom of speech, drives third world countries further into the poverty spiral, kills civillians while calling them terrorists, secures oil reserves while giving the real terrorists months to escape, and basiclly criticizing any government that dosent lavish praise that borders on fellatio on them. All that in a few hundred years?


Wow. Who the hell has been teaching you history? Clearly someone with an awful lot of bias.

For example:

fled persacution, slaughtered the natives of a new world, hated anyone besides themselves for several years,

More than just fled persecution. Most colonists, who still considered themselves Britons or Frenchmen at the time came for reasons far different from that.

Hated everyone for several years? Well, if by everyone you mean the enemies of the British Empire, I guess so.

kidnapped thousands of slaves


Actually Arabs or local tribal chieftains did the kidnapping, we just paid Europeans who bought them from the kidnappers and shipped them here.


had a stand of with russia (forcing the russian government to put nearly all of its population into work camps or poverty),

Despite the fact such conditions existed well before the US-USSR standoff...
And the utter propagandistic falsehood of this statement isn't even funny.



fought agaisnt negro rights

Depending upon which state you're talking about this is true. If you're talking about Ohio, then you're wrong, if you're talking about Alabama, then you're right.

Hell, you're just so horribly propagandizing it's not even funny.

So yeah, this thread sucks. I'm going to bed.

Of the bad things mentioned, only WW2 (arguably) happened since the rise of social democracy in Europe, and that whole thing got started partly because the majority of the population in Germany was or was made to be mortally afraid of socialism in any form. Social democracy has really become the dominant political leaning in Europe only post-WW2.

Has virtually no lower class, how about the immigrants, like the Turks in Germany? The reason why you don't have much of a lower class is because you don't count the foreigners.(Emphasis mine.) Who is that?

Racism is a problem in some areas, but in Finland for example legal immigrants have just as much and more social support as the 1st (or Nth) generation Finns. Which makes most of them pretty well-off compared to the poorest US citizens.

Has fewer drug arrests, yet you have fewer drug laws, logical conclusion.Not true for all, or even most of Europe. Finland has drug laws just as strict as those in the US, yet we have a tiny fraction of the drug arrests. It is a fact that drug (ab)use is more common in the US than it is in Europe, Netherlands alone isn't enough to balance out the large number of countries where drug use is very rare, and even in Netherlands is mostly the less-hard drugs.

As of 6:47:39 GMT today, one Euro gets you ~1.312 USD. Check it real time here (http://www.forexdirectory.net/euro.html) (among other places).

As of 6:47:39 GMT today, one Euro gets you ~1.312 USD. Check it real time here (http://www.forexdirectory.net/euro.html) (among other places).

And this means what exactly? Are you actually attempting to compare two economies solely based on the conversion rate of their currencies? The lack of basic economics/finance knowledge on this board continues to shock me.

As Monty Python use to say, "And now for something completely different!" :D

"In fact, the Liberal coalition is frighteningly like the class structure of the European societies from which America diverged. A needy underclass sending respect and obedience up to a privileged elite. The elite, in turn, dribbles down bread and hospitals. Needy souls dependent upon charity for the sustenance of their bodies, in symbiosis with an elite of busybodies dependent upon giving charity for the salvation of their souls. It's not progressive. It's medieval. This is one reason why the liberal elite is so in love with Europe. There the two classes know their places and dance the dance without interruption by freewheeling hillbilly hayseeds that just want to be left alone. Europe is more liberal. Liberalism being a co-dependency. America, by contrast, still has a large middle class that values independence over co-dependence. This leads to considerable frustration of America's liberals, who cannot even 'imagine' how anyone would not want their help. So they are left -- in piqued disbelief -- to pore over exit polls to find how their pets were led astray, again. Yeah, the answer is in those exit polls somewhere, My Lord." --Mac Johnson

The middle class is rapidly diminishing.

Just for the sakes of pissing people off even more: European women are far more beautiful..... and so is the country (landscape and shit). I cant really be bothered typing out a whole pile of bias information.

Just so you know I am neither European or American....

And this means what exactly? Are you actually attempting to compare two economies solely based on the conversion rate of their currencies? The lack of basic economics/finance knowledge on this board continues to shock me.
Did he say anything like that? No. The lack of understanding clear messages on this board continues to shock me.

He just wrote the correct exchange rate because there were several wrong ones in previous posts.

And this means what exactly? Are you actually attempting to compare two economies solely based on the conversion rate of their currencies? The lack of basic economics/finance knowledge on this board continues to shock me.Woah! Way to draw conclusions out of a short, basic statement! What it means exactly, is that one Euro buys you ~1.312 USD. It was purely in reply to the people who were quoting the current Euro-USD rate as being 1.2, which is obviously false. Similarly it shows that the USD is not currently strengthening significantly, as another poster claimed. The amount of effort wasted on feeble attempts at insulting people without any basis continues to shock me.

Helioterra got there first. :fluffle:

Unemployment seems to be higher and staying higher. Espescially in Central Europe where it is utterly ridiculous.
And meanwhile the dollar is higher than the Euro because of intentional policies. And anyways, the dollar has made big gains recently, as it is currently $1.20 US for 1.00 Euro, and not long ago it was $1.32 US for 1.00 Euro, I'd say the dollar is regaining value.
Most cheap plastic crap comes from China and the like, not the US. US products are typically of fairly high quality.
Do you really want more junkies?

Unemployment is high right now around 10% I think. Historically it has been lower and I think it will continue to go that way. A lot of the unemployment could be from big recent military cut backs in Europe. The military was way too top heavy with older troops so several countries dropped active duty ststus and retired those extra troops.

You're a bit backwards on the currency thing. The Euro took 1.2 USD to make one Euro, now its 1.32 USD for 1 Euro. That means the dollar is losing value to the Euro, not gaining it. The British pound is higher even still than the Euro.

Most cheap plastic crap comes from China, and Mexico. Ironically, that's where most US firms now base their manufacturing out of.

Guys, im sorry bout the reply i put up before. i was angry and tired and just finished watching "Farrenheit 911" and so was angry at America (that being the government, not the peoples, the history, the land or whatever.) anyways, i was wrong, and lets just say that pretty much every country has its bad history. k?

As Monty Python use to say, "And now for something completely different!" :D

"In fact, the Liberal coalition is frighteningly like the class structure of the European societies from which America diverged. A needy underclass sending respect and obedience up to a privileged elite. The elite, in turn, dribbles down bread and hospitals. Needy souls dependent upon charity for the sustenance of their bodies, in symbiosis with an elite of busybodies dependent upon giving charity for the salvation of their souls. It's not progressive. It's medieval. This is one reason why the liberal elite is so in love with Europe. There the two classes know their places and dance the dance without interruption by freewheeling hillbilly hayseeds that just want to be left alone. Europe is more liberal. Liberalism being a co-dependency. America, by contrast, still has a large middle class that values independence over co-dependence. This leads to considerable frustration of America's liberals, who cannot even 'imagine' how anyone would not want their help. So they are left -- in piqued disbelief -- to pore over exit polls to find how their pets were led astray, again. Yeah, the answer is in those exit polls somewhere, My Lord." --Mac Johnson

Conservative "explanations" of liberalism are always so … amusingly fanciful and obviously meant for an isolated, ignorant audience. They remind me of the Richard Locke moon hoax, in which he claimed that a famed astronomer with a powerful telescope had spied furry and winged people living on the moon. His audience had no way to verify or debunk it. So it is with many worshipful readers of people like Mac Johnson, Ann Coulter, George Will Max Boot, et al.

One of the things on these boards that makes me giggle is how everybody is so extreamly set on the offense. To be honest, I'm a liberal. Hardcore liberal. But c'mon, people...don't be so angry! Calm down a tad, have some tea or coffee or whatever, and talk resonably. Otherwise, you just give fellow liberals/conservatives bad names. So calm down, and make sure you check your references (both sides), and don't any of you consider yourself to have unbiased info...unbiased info is like the secret weapons department in the Coca-Cola factories. It doesn't exsist.

i always find it funny how Americans are ready to attack European history...

lets face it, for most of you, up until a couple of hundred years ago, its your history as well

i always find it funny how Americans are ready to attack European history...

Especially when they start ranting about colonialism.

Unemployment is high right now around 10% I think. Historically it has been lower and I think it will continue to go that way. A lot of the unemployment could be from big recent military cut backs in Europe. The military was way too top heavy with older troops so several countries dropped active duty ststus and retired those extra troops.

Germany's unemployment is at 10.8%, France's is at 9.9%. America was bitching horribely because unemployment dared to hit 7%. Cheers.

You're a bit backwards on the currency thing. The Euro took 1.2 USD to make one Euro, now its 1.32 USD for 1 Euro. That means the dollar is losing value to the Euro, not gaining it. The British pound is higher even still than the Euro.

The British pound is higher than the Euro, but I'd hardly say that Britian's economy is any better than that of the European continent. Britian has always historicaly had a high value currency, just as Japan has always historically had a low value currency. Of all the currencies in the world The Euro and the Yen are probably the "hardest" right now.

Germany's unemployment is at 10.8%, France's is at 9.9%. America was bitching horribely because unemployment dared to hit 7%. Cheers.
I wonder how much higher each unemployment rate would be if the agencies and governments wouldn't edit the statistics to look better. Or how many people didn't register as unemployed out of a sense of shame.

Germany's unemployment is at 10.8%, France's is at 9.9%. America was bitching horribely because unemployment dared to hit 7%. Cheers.



The British pound is higher than the Euro, but I'd hardly say that Britian's economy is any better than that of the European continent. Britian has always historicaly had a high value currency, just as Japan has always historically had a low value currency. Of all the currencies in the world The Euro and the Yen are probably the "hardest" right now.
Currently the UK economy is at almost full employment, spending is up, confidence is up, the construction industry (traditionally said to be first in and last out of a slump) is booming. In general we are lucky enough to have the strongest economy in the EU at the moment.

and yet. . .Europe overall has a stronger economy, is more populus, has a better international governing body, has lower unemployment, produces better products, has a lower infant mortality rate, has fewer abortions, has fewer drug arrests, has virtually no lower class, and is still progressive. Yay leftists!

Stronger economy yes, but only after unification. That took several major wars in which the US had to intervene. Also, I wonder how strong the economy would be at this point without the Marshall Plan and the breakup of the Soviet Union, which would largely be the result of US policies, some of which the European Left strongly opposed.

Better government and better products is debatable.

The US has lower unemployment than the EU. Try and see what the unemployment figures for Germany look like, for example.

Fewer drug arrests, because in some countries, it's essentially legal (in a practical sense). I found it much easier to obtain drugs in Europe. Much easier.

No lower class? I guess you've never been out of your fancy apartment.

...Also, I wonder how strong the economy would be at this point without the Marshall Plan and the breakup of the Soviet Union, which would largely be the result of US policies, some of which the European Left strongly opposed.


Finland had to pay war compensations and didn't take any Marshall aid. That's why I don't think it really had any significant effect on any economies.

Finland had to pay war compensations and didn't take any Marshall aid. That's why I don't think it really had any significant effect on any economies.
Britain was denied Marshall Plan aid as "punishment" for electing a socialist government.

Britain was denied Marshall Plan aid as "punishment" for electing a socialist government.
hehe
They offered it to Finland, but Soviets said no -> we said no.

One of the things on these boards that makes me giggle is how everybody is so extreamly set on the offense. To be honest, I'm a liberal. Hardcore liberal. But c'mon, people...don't be so angry! Calm down a tad, have some tea or coffee or whatever, and talk resonably. Otherwise, you just give fellow liberals/conservatives bad names. So calm down, and make sure you check your references (both sides), and don't any of you consider yourself to have unbiased info...unbiased info is like the secret weapons department in the Coca-Cola factories. It doesn't exsist.
How do you know it doesn't exist? I'd like proof please. :p

Europe has a bigger economy, that doesn't necessarily translate to strength though.
The United States has the world's largest economy, allowing for use of aid and economic trade with other countries, which they depend upon, as a tool to control them and influence their policies in a U.S. friendly way. Doesn't necessarily translate to strength though.

Has a better international governing body, well, seeing as the US isn't international...
Or how about we look at the POINT, the fact that their governing bodies regardless of whether they are international handle their people better.

Has lower unemployment, out and out lie.

European countries with better unemployment rate:
Andorra
Liechtenstein
Gibraltar
Belarus
San Marino
Monaco
Cyprus
Iceland
Luxembourg
Switzerland
Ukraine
Austria
Ireland
Norway
Sweden
UK
Netherlands
Hungary

Many of the people the U.S. considers 'employed' are working part time jobs that aren't enough to pay their bills, working a temporary job in search of a real one. If that were factored in, our unemployment rate would shoot to 9-12%, (ref: "There's Something About W") which would make the U.S. also behind:

Denmark
Portugal
Romania
Malta
Moldova
Belgium
Italy
Latvia
Finland
Greece
France
Czech Republic
Estonia
Lithuania
Germany
Spain
Slovenia

And even though the U.S. has a higher GDP per capita, a large part of that comes from the fact that we have about 3,000,000 millionaires, and over 200 billionaires, leaving another 290,000,000 or so without that kind of money, but if you only look at the GDP you'd get the idea that the average American makes $37,800, which isn't true because we have the or among the widest class divisions in all the world.

If Bill Gates walks into a bar, the average income for everyone at the bar suddenly jumps to $1 billion, even though the normal people at the bar make nothing remotley close to it.

Produces better products, a title you are losing in all but the most elite spots, like chocolate and beer.
I don't know where on earth I could get a source to verify that, nor where you'd have been able to get one either. Most likely you are talking out of your ass.

Has a lower mortality rate, you mean your mortality rate is less than 100%?
Maybe he meant infant mortality, but no, it's better to make fun of the guy. If he did mean that, than he's correct that Europe has a lower infant mortality rate.

Has fewer drug arrests, yet you have fewer drug laws, logical conclusion.
Yeah it is a logical conclusion, but not for the reasons you imply. Having it made illegal will only create a black market where the goverment has no oversight or power to responsibly regulate it, and allow criminals (like the Columbians or Afghans) to profit off it. It's the same as wine in France (or beer for 16 year olds in Germany.. they don't go on binges in Germany like teens in the U.S. do.), it can be responsibly integrated into society without being outlawed. And it means more individual freedom.

Has virtually no lower class, how about the immigrants, like the Turks in Germany? The reason why you don't have much of a lower class is because you don't count the foreigners.
Whatever.

So I take it that this Liberal establishment, the one that loves the class structure of Europe, is also responsible for the "top peeling off" in the U.S.? It's the Liberal establishment that has caused wealth to become increasingly concentrated in the top 5% since WW II? Yeah right.

If you want to talk about class structure, look at economic mobility statistics. These figures represent the probability that someone will end up in a different income bracket (or "class") than that in which they were born. This is the American dream, right? Having the opportunity to pull yourself up by your bootstraps?

And yet, practically every industrialized nation in Europe has better mobility statistics than the U.S. Fact of the matter is that today in America, we're more strictly bound by a economic class structure than European nations. Sure, some European nations have some quaint old titles that preservere, but the average European Joe has a better chance of surpassing his parents than the average American Joe.

and yet. . .Europe overall has a stronger economy, is more populus, has a better international governing body, has lower unemployment, produces better products, has a lower infant mortality rate, has fewer abortions, has fewer drug arrests, has virtually no lower class, and is still progressive. Yay leftists!

That is the most optimistic portayal of Europe I've ever heard and that's coming from someone who was born here and has lived here for my entire life...That's not entirely credible. Although some nice points ;).

... snip...
Produces better products, a title you are losing in all but the most elite spots, like chocolate and beer.
... snip ...
Since when has beer being an elite spot?
I wasn't aware that I was being a snob when I offered beer to my friends. Man, and here I was keeping my hard liquor (like Jack Daniel's) for special occasion.

Consider the same sarcastic comments about chocolate.