NationStates Jolt Archive

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!

dang, and I still see just boobs

Super vision?
Lucky you...

I dunno, I've found myself more preoccupied after I fell in love. Though I wasn't really paying too much attention before, I'm not into the physical part as much as the mental part. Though, now that you mention it, I guess that I have been paying much less attention to other girls, and I guess I can think clearer in a sense. It had never occured to me before. Though I have an obsessive personality, as well as ADD, so I have a recurring theme in my thoughts. Luckily, I am indeed more interested in her than her body, so I am not putting her off or anything.

been there. just wait till it all comes crashing down, though. then you become a swinger like me :cool:

I have a feeling that you are not seeing things clearly. I have a feeling that things are just as jumbled as they always are, you just think they are organized.

I have a feeling that you are not seeing things clearly. I have a feeling that things are just as jumbled as they always are, you just think they are organized.
No, really!

*looks at girl*


SHE HAS A PERSONALITY I RECKON!

ja ja. I am more interested in who she is (to me, to others, how I can help her) than her body. But I have no doubt she'll PMS and break my heart and reveal to me that things were never clearer, more organized, or better. oh well, atleast I'll enjoy my life until then :rolleyes: :gundge:

Yeak love is like that for a while.
Have fun, hope it lasts for you.

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!

Sex is like an insane, unreasoning and unrelenting master, driving us to do things that we don't actually want to. At least it's fun!:D

No, really!

*looks at girl*


SHE HAS A PERSONALITY I RECKON!

Well good for you. I may be cynical, but I still wish you the best of luck.

I've found that I always think clearer after I'm.. uh.. sexually relieved

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!

I'm definately not in love with anyone and I rarely 'check out' girls. Still, at an all boys school, there's not much to 'check out'. :p

I usually look more at face than body. Am I normal?

I usually look more at face than body. Am I normal?

As normal as anyone on nationstates can be I'd wager...I share your preference for faces somewhat, though I do my best to take in the entirety of anyone I meet, male of female.

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!


Ye but wait like a month or something and one day you will find yourself looking at other girls again.
Unless your going to marrie this girl, then I give you a year or two.

Everything is just as confusing as ever, you just stop caring whenever you have any strong emotion.

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!

Just be sure she isn't a "he". Alot of those freaks out there!

Breasts

They've always said, "Love does crazy things."

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!
Welcome to the wonderful world of love, Colodia. Population: You. :)

Welcome to the wonderful world of love, Colodia. Population: You. :)

You are now the Internet Hallmark Card after that little dose of cheese.

You are now the Internet Hallmark Card after that little dose of cheese.
Whatever you say, Vittos. I just wanted to spread good cheer and whatnot.

Whatever you say, Vittos. I just wanted to spread good cheer and whatnot.

No offense intended. It just gave me a chuckle.

Ahh....if ONLY I can manage to at least be FRIENDS with this girl...

The really quiet ones are hard to get to, I've discovered. Thing is, on Friday, we had a good talk about the sports we're in. She's NEVER talked that much as far as I know. I'm gonna take it as a GOOD thing, cuz I'm like that.

I usually look more at face than body. Am I normal?
For those who don't slap their girlfriends on the ass, then I believe so, though I'm not the authority.

She's NEVER talked that much as far as I know. I'm gonna take it as a GOOD thing, cuz I'm like that.
Don't get your hopes up. Women can certainly develop platonic love, much more common in females than males, in which case you'll have a challenge if you want to get closer.

I have certainly become friends with the girl I love. I'm not sure how I am to her in the respect I like. But if you're not willing to just be plain friends witha girl, they probably aren't right for you, in my opinion. I am perfectly satisfied with the current situation, though I'l like to proceed a little further, it is by no means necessary.

I find myself in the same place as Gnostikos

I mean woah....who knew that once you think you love a girl that suddenly you quit checking out other women, and you ACTUALLY think MUCH clearer!

I mean wow!

Seriously, it's like I have....SUPER VISION!
'Epiphany' The word you're looking for is 'epiphany'.

Ahh....if ONLY I can manage to at least be FRIENDS with this girl...

The really quiet ones are hard to get to, I've discovered. Thing is, on Friday, we had a good talk about the sports we're in. She's NEVER talked that much as far as I know. I'm gonna take it as a GOOD thing, cuz I'm like that.
Aside from what Gnostikos said, the fact htat she's talking to you is a good sign.

I suggest that the next time you two talk, keep her talking by asking her question about herself and what she likes. To use sports as an example*, you could ask her what other sports she likes, does she watch professional sports, what equipment does she keep at home, etc. Give her reason to talk, and then let her talk.

* You might have asked her such questions already, but no other examples come to mind at the moment. Suitable questions generally tend to carry the current subject and explore it in depth. Avoid yes/no questions unless you can follow up on the answer.

Disclaimer: Get a second opinion on this.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

*poke*

Mods ARE more useful than giving people the DEAT! :D

Thanks for jump-starting my brain, my biggest problem is that I can't think of any good conversation-starter with her.

*poke*

Mods ARE more useful than giving people the DEAT! :D

Thanks for jump-starting my brain, my biggest problem is that I can't think of any good conversation-starter with her.
The following questions should be useful as conversation starters:
What hobbies do you have?
What's your favorite place to relax?
What do you like to do when you're not working?

She may give you a list of things in response to any one of those questions. Pick an item from the list and ask more questions about it. If you asked her what her favorite place to relax is, and she tells you, then follow-up questions you could ask her are:
When did you first go there?
What do you like about it?
What do you like to do when you're there?

Three important things that you should remember:
Relax and have fun. You're supposed to enjoy her company and she's supposed to enjoy your company. If you're tense, she'll notice; some people are very good at noticing tension.
Don't bring pencil and paper. You're dating her (I assume), not interrogating her. It is important to remember what answers she gives you, but don't try too hard. Trying too hard or bringing pencil and paper is going to give the wrong "feel" to the conversation. If you have to, you can ask her at a later encounter "I know you said that you were interested in... but I forget if [some particular detail that escapes your memory]...?" Hopefully, the fact that you're trying to take the trouble to get to know her better will leave a good impression on her.
Don't fall into the trap of talking too much about yourself. You want to primarily focus on giving her reasons to talk. You described her as being "really quiet", so that suggests to me that she has a tendency to be shy*. She may not feel that she has a lot of opportunities to talk about herself, or she may not feel that she has reason to talk about herself. She will probably appreciate spending time with someone who holds a friendly and genuine interest in who she is and what she does** ("someone" --> read: "you").

* I can't be sure if she's shy or not. Maybe she just doesn't have much to say. You are in the best position to judge this.
** You do have a friendly and genuine interest in who she is and what she does, right? Riiiiight?

If you're not dating her already, then I suggest that you do. Ask her out to go with you to a cafe, mall, or something to eat and chat. Then you can ask her questions about herself during the date.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

I've found that I always think clearer after I'm.. uh.. sexually relieved
Really? I fall asleep alot. Although being horny doesn't make me think any clearer :D

* I can't be sure if she's shy or not. Maybe she just doesn't have much to say. You are in the best position to judge this.
** You do have a friendly and genuine interest in who she is and what she does, right? Riiiiight?

If you're not dating her already, then I suggest that you do. Ask her out to go with you to a cafe, mall, or something to eat and chat. Then you can ask her questions about herself during the date.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."
I'd prefer to be friends with her beforehand. I don't feel comfortable getting that upfront with a girl when I've barely scratched the surface of her mind. And it just doesn't seem right if I want to really have a good relationship with this girl. Establish a foundation, ya know?

*I'm sure she's shy. When I see her around her friends, shes laughing right alongside em. Now hearing her talk, that's a rare opportunity
**I'd be lying if I told you I liked her for her body. I like her for her mind AND body. :)

The following questions should be useful as conversation starters:
What hobbies do you have?
What's your favorite place to relax?
What do you like to do when you're not working?

I find that music is often a good conversation starter too, but Cog's ideas here are probably better.

Relax and have fun. You're supposed to enjoy her company and she's supposed to enjoy your company. If you're tense, she'll notice; some people are very good at noticing tension.

Yeah, I'd say tension is pretty obvious to many people. Even if you think you're hiding it, it can be pretty obvious in some way you've missed.

Hee, Cog just reminded me of that one song by Frankie Goes to Hollywood...
"Relax don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
When you want to come"

Somebody tranq me, I'm singing again...

Girls, who needs em. I totally judge people on how much I can stand to look at them. if their face aint ugly, I'll talk to em. I'm a nice guy. :)

I'd prefer to be friends with her beforehand. I don't feel comfortable getting that upfront with a girl when I've barely scratched the surface of her mind. And it just doesn't seem right if I want to really have a good relationship with this girl. Establish a foundation, ya know?

*I'm sure she's shy. When I see her around her friends, shes laughing right alongside em. Now hearing her talk, that's a rare opportunity
**I'd be lying if I told you I liked her for her body. I like her for her mind AND body. :)

Bring her to NS that'll win er over. :p

I'd prefer to be friends with her beforehand. I don't feel comfortable getting that upfront with a girl when I've barely scratched the surface of her mind. And it just doesn't seem right if I want to really have a good relationship with this girl. Establish a foundation, ya know?
This is your situation and your opportunity, so of course, it's up to your judgment. Opinions on matters like these will vary.

It is my opinion, though, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing a romantic relationship while simultaneously establishing a foundation of friendship. Besides which, you don't want to accidentally lead her into thinking that you're not romantically interested in her. Take it slow (say, a date every week or two*), treat her like a lady, don't come onto her too strong, but do ask her out. Make it clear through your actions: You like her, you thinks she's attractive, you want to date her, you want to get to know her better, you want to spend quality time with her, you want to show her a good time ("a good time" being appropriate to your age bracket). You don't want to be too timid, yourself. "Faint heart never won fair lady."

* Get a second opinion on this. Preferably from someone with experience.

A decade ago, I would have agreed completely with your sentiments as stated in the quote box, above. However, with all due respect to yourself and your opinions, I'd like to think that I know better, nowadays.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

Bring her to NS that'll win er over. :p
She's pro-Republican, I believe. That gives her...a good one minute after her first post that she'll get her first flame?

Brings up something. Tommorrow, I plan on asking her this:

"Hey, *name*. I was remembering when Kerry condeded defeat, and I think I remember you having a Bush/Cheney 04 sticker on your notebook. Is that true?"

I know she has political opinions. I mean, she quoted JFK as well. And I'm 95% sure that she really did have a Bush/Chen. 04 sticker on her notebook. Of course, I have developed a save in case she says it wasn't her.

"Oh, okay. Hey, so what sport you planning to do after your done with basketball?"*

*Kudos to Cog

Now, this would be my second talk with her. I want to get her talking, and I think I'm making a safe gamble here.

A decade ago, I would have agreed completely with your sentiments as stated in the quote box, above. However, with all due respect to yourself and your opinions, I'd like to think that I know better, nowadays.If love was a giant forum, I'd be the newbie. Just that I want her and me to feel good about each other before anything.

She's pro-Republican, I believe. That gives her...a good one minute after her first post that she'll get her first flame?

Brings up something. Tommorrow, I plan on asking her this:

"Hey, *name*. I was remembering when Kerry condeded defeat, and I think I remember you having a Bush/Cheney 04 sticker on your notebook. Is that true?"

I know she has political opinions. I mean, she quoted JFK as well. And I'm 95% sure that she really did have a Bush/Chen. 04 sticker on her notebook. Of course, I have developed a save in case she says it wasn't her.

"Oh, okay. Hey, so what sport you planning to do after your done with basketball?"*

*Kudos to Cog

Now, this would be my second talk with her. I want to get her talking, and I think I'm making a safe gamble here.
Careful, if you want to attract her, then you want to focus on fun topics. Politics is a danger zone.

If love was a giant forum, I'd be the newbie. Just that I want her and me to feel good about each other before anything.
Rather than press my opinion further at this point, I think we can simply agree to disagree.

However you decide to approach her, I wish you luck. :)

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

Careful, if you want to attract her, then you want to focus on fun topics. Politics is a danger zone.
Oh, don't think of me like these other people on NS who discuss politics. I can keep the mood light so long as I keep a smile going and exaggerate a bit. If it looks grim, I can pull myself out with my backup.

Careful, if you want to attract her, then you want to focus on fun topics. Politics is a danger zone.
Yes, unless the person is very politically active, then don't. I've tried on occassion to bring up politics or religion witht he girl I like, and there's never been much of a good reaction. And I know she cares, she was wearing a Kerry sticker once, and reads all kinds of philosophy. I was quite surprised that soon after I met her, I saw her reading 1984. After I found out she read philosophy, then I was really screwed, because that was when I really fell in love, more than just a crush. But I digress, so even if you know she cares, unless you absolutely know she wants to talk about it or theology, don't.

Eh, okay. It starting to look a bit bad now that I play the possible outcome in my head.

I'll go back to the drawing board then. Be back in 5, guys.

Hmm, well a decent conversation-starter seems to be "So, you taking another sport this next season?"

And of course, I can follow up on that as we talk.

Hmm, well a decent conversation-starter seems to be "So, you taking another sport this next season?"
So I take it you're both into sports? What are the sport both of you do? Are they the same, or separate sports, or are they able to be related? How willing is she to talk about sports more than a little, since most girls I've encountered aren't particularly partial to excessive sport talk (which is fine with me, the only sports I like are eastern martial arts, which aren't quite the same as these western monstrosities).

And of course, I can follow up on that as we talk.
I hope the hell so!

My replies also reminded me of another thing--don't talk about yourself too much. It is tempting, and you often do it without realising it, but make sure that at least half of the conversation is about her. About 60-80% is typically best, as monopolies by either parties tend to dilute conversations.

And, for my personal benefit, is it really proper to ask girls out on dates before you've really established a "romantic" relationship?

So I take it you're both into sports? What are the sport both of you do? Are they the same, or separate sports, or are they able to be related? How willing is she to talk about sports more than a little, since most girls I've encountered aren't particularly partial to excessive sport talk (which is fine with me, the only sports I like are eastern martial arts, which aren't quite the same as these western monstrosities).
We're both in sports
I do swimming, she does basketball
She was pretty interested into the whole sports talk we had. Asked me about Cross Country (which is odd, considering you had to have to paid attention to me back in late October to find out), and whether i was on Junior Varsity or Varsity swimming.
I asked her, she said she enjoyed playing basketball. But commented on how swimming was hard for her.

Like I said, when you think of the fact that she hardley EVER talks this much, it's gottta be good!

Like I said, when you think of the fact that she hardley EVER talks this much, it's gottta be good!
Though I understand how you feel, do not get too excited over this. You need to be more cautious, or else you may find yourself hurt. As I said earlier, girls quite commonly form platonic relationships, where they are not sexually or romantically into the other person, but like doing things like talk, but strictly as a friend. Feel the ground before you put your full weight on it.

Also, just some extra advice on what I've done, compliments seem to be fairly effective. You don't have to lie about it, if you like her shirt, say so. Especially if there a distinctive trait that strikes you. Inquiry is also good, so if her shirt says a name you're not familiar with, ask her who or what it is. If she mentions pretty much anything, you can ask her questions about it. Excessive complimenting is not good, as you don't want to be too upfront about your intents, especially if she's shy. That might turn her off from the beginning. Move slowly enough so that she's comfortable. You also may seem kind of creepy. If there are any special occasions that appropriate, give her a present. Nothing too expensive, and there must be a reason you can give until you've officially become her boyfriend. Also, find out what types of music she likes, and what type of books, if she has affinities for either. Art is also good if she's into that. You don't have to necessarily talk about them, just say that you also enjoy them, if you actually do. If she says she likes a book that you do, then agree emphatically. If you haven't read it, inquire about it and askt o either borrow it if she has it or get it on your own. Never lie--if you don't want to disagree, say you're not sure what you think. Even though you need to act mildly sycophantic, honesty is necessary.

Well I sucked up all the courage I had, locked away the little screaming person in my mind that said "WTF ARE YOU DOING? STAY IN THE SAFE ZONE!" and caught up with her and talked more about our sports with her.

I think I can be able to say "hi" to her when I come across her randomly at school without looking like a weirdo.

I think I can be able to say "hi" to her when I come across her randomly at school without looking like a weirdo.
Typically salutations are not considered weird, especially if you're on friendly terms with a person, regardless of sex. Though it is indeed more socially acceptable for females to be amiable and open, males, as long as they have the proper demeanour, may do so as well. Though never to the extent that females can.

Mmkay, I think I've sucked the topic of school sports dry. I need an idea-jump start....anyone have any potential topics of conversation I can use on Wednesday when I see her again?

Uh, Colodia, have you seen her at any cool place, or noticed an interesting shirt/CD/hobbie she has? For me, if I like a girl, chances are very very high I will see her at the local coffee shop sometime.

So I always play the: "Hey, it was nice seeing you at Kaladis,
(1)how often do you go there?"
(2)What do you usually get?"
(3)You looked wasted, studying for a big test?"

Also, if she just played her sport recently, ask her how it went. If you played yours recently, tell her how yours went. But in the case of you talking about your recent match/game/race (i forgot what you did) be sure to carry it up with plenty of questions and/or comments to her. You don't wanna be seen as an inconsiderate illegimate child. :gundge:

Well I have talked about her games frequently enough already, I don't want to only talk about her sports with her.

'tis a little something called

"rose colored glasses"

Part of that lovely thing called "infatuation."