NationStates Jolt Archive

OK, the choice is yours. Will You go for:

http://img120.exs.cx/img120/3209/lilsuzy4xc.jpg
Lil Suzy, Jesus's cutest missionary on Earth?

http://img120.exs.cx/img120/651/mshen7hw.jpg
Ms Hen, the evil Sat.. ahem I mean Atheist teacher whos job is to corrupt the minds of children?

http://img120.exs.cx/img120/9065/badbob2hd.jpg
Bad Bob, who's parents didn't love him enough to spank him as a child?

http://img120.exs.cx/img120/170/effetesatan8ym.jpg
Effete Satan and his minions, who control TV and corrupt the minds of the young and non christian?

http://img46.exs.cx/img46/6817/gayswithdemons9ns.jpg
Gays with demons, a sure favorite for those who have read Philip Pullman?

http://img46.exs.cx/img46/6332/jesusinablender6ho.jpg
Jesus in a Blender, remember, Christ died for you?

http://img110.exs.cx/img110/3875/muslim9gr.jpg
Or will it be the angry Muslim?

http://img110.exs.cx/img110/4293/stereosatanist9xv.jpg
The stereotypical Satanist.
Likes:
Tempting the innocent
Sacrificing small family pets
Fire
Brimstone
Hates:
[list] Jesus/God
Christians
People who really know that Dungeons & Dragons is a subtle way to gain converts and damn souls

http://img22.exs.cx/img22/7514/gayswithshades9id.jpg
Gays With Shades. Are you gay and tired with a soldier demon cramping your style? Well just turn them into a nice pair of tinted glasses.

http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0082/0082_21.gif
Vengeful Jesus. Yes Jesus is back. And this time he's pissed off!

Jesus in a blender. Judging from the name alone.

It must be Daemonic Ms Henn, who denies the word of God to the children. Who could be more evil?

Come on people. Who would you rather hang with? At least stereotypical satanist would make interesting conversation. Bad Bob seems cool too.

I prefer Jesus-Stalin

Oh God, I love those tracts! I dunno about my favorite character, but my favorite tract is one about the Christmas story. When it gets to the immaculate conception part, it says something about, "...and God came upon Mary..." and it has this picture of her kneeling, and a black background, and what's supposed to be a shaft of light shining on her from the heavens, but it looks like the world's largest load of spunk hitting her right in the face!

I like the ones about Islam too. Fuckin hilarious.

Come on people. Who would you rather hang with? At least stereotypical satanist would make interesting conversation. Bad Bob seems cool too.
Well, I own three cats so I don't think I would invite him around for afternoon tea. And Bob just ain't been the same since he started me.

Me, I'm partial to the Gays with shades.

I say Gays With Shades would killl everybody with his poofy hair of MegaDoom!
In a fistfight between Frank Sinatra, Gays With Shades, and Joseph Stalin, Gays With Shades would win.

Oh God, I love those tracts! I dunno about my favorite character, but my favorite tract is one about the Christmas story. When it gets to the immaculate conception part, it says something about, "...and God came upon Mary..." and it has this picture of her kneeling, and a black background, and what's supposed to be a shaft of light shining on her from the heavens, but it looks like the world's largest load of spunk hitting her right in the face!
It's not supposed to be light. Remember god came upon Mary.

I like the evolution tract best. So ridiculous... So scientificly inaccurate... And the way the professor flies of the handle... Comedy gold! And then that bit about Jesus holding together molecules. As my dad said when I told him about it. 'The man must be rather busy then!'

But Jack Chick's satan is funny too... 'Specially that 'Haw haw haw' laugh.

The gays with demons get my vote. I wuv them ^.^

:fluffle:

Angry muslim.

It's not supposed to be light. Remember god came upon Mary.
Way to ruin my joke. <_<

Way to ruin my joke. <_<
I is sorry

I is sorry
You're forgiven. Just don't do it again :P

No one else like Jesus-Stalin?

This is really hard. Right now I'd have to go with Gays with Demons, just because the image is so absurd (even by Chick standards).
The funniest line has to come from the Stereotypical Satanist, though. If I were Satan, I think I would be insulted by a dead cat on my birthday!
Bad Bob is a dead ringer for John Kay from Steppenwolf.
I read where the TV show referred to by the effete demons is "Bewitched." Those folks over at TV Land always did look like Satanists to me!
And the gay men I know all have better taste than to wear their hair like the guy on the right in Gays with Shades. He looks like my old high school guidance counselor! (who was straight, but really creepy--always running around taking pictures of cheerleaders, etc.)

I like the evolution tract best. So ridiculous... So scientificly inaccurate... And the way the professor flies of the handle... Comedy gold!
I assume you're talking about "Big Daddy?" That is a real gem--especially the evolution advocates, who, of course, are all drawn as stereotypical late '60s commie-pinko-fag-hippies.
One quote I'm curious about, though. Chick quotes Science Magazine as saying that life can be created from two barrels of oil or something like that. I remember the quote because the source actually sounds halfway credible. Do you know anything about that article? Has Chick merely taken something out of context--again?

I'm sensing someones taking Chicks name in vain, that akes you all sinners, in fact you're all sinners anyway.

This is the word of Chick

I like the Gays with demons, they're an accurate description of real life, mine is called Hyacinth.

Those were no the words of Chick

Bumpity

Bumpity
*coughbumpcough*

You missed some:

http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/1054/1054_06.gif
Grandpa Patches, wise Muslim-hating grandfather who's probably got some history


"Religion can't save, only Jesus can!"
The astoundingly contradictory summary of the anti-Catholic tract


http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0052/0052_11.gif
Agent Preacher, whose love for Jesus goes above and beyond criminal penalties for breaking-and-entering


And the main character...
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/5018/5018_06.gif
Really Creepy Salvation Man who educates the unsaved
(Author's Note: Does anyone else see John Cleese -- in his Basil Fawlty days -- possessed by the devil here?)

Definately Angry Jesus, for whom 'doing everything in His power' amounts to sending annoying little kids at you and then throwing you and 99% of the other humans into eternal hellfire for ignoring the kid.

Definately Angry Jesus, for whom 'doing everything in His power' amounts to sending annoying little kids at you and then throwing you and 99% of the other humans into eternal hellfire for ignoring the kid.
But she is a cute little kid...

No, not in that way

Don't take me away!!

And the main character...
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/5018/5018_06.gif
Really Creepy Salvation Man who educates the unsaved
(Author's Note: Does anyone else see John Cleese -- in his Basil Fawlty days -- possessed by the devil here?)
I am deeply scared...
That is so odd that they look so alike.

Angry Muslim rules. He's the only character with depth. He completely transforms from "Allah will smite the infidels" to "Jesus is our savior" in two seconds flat, because some random guy comes up to him. Beat that, Shakespeare.

I'd pick the grandfather of the white, God fearing Lil Suzy. Was there ever an explanation for his lack of one eye, was it in a fight with a Moon-god worshiper?
Which tract was Jesus in a blender in?

Which tract was Jesus in a blender in?
All of them nearly.

And I don't believe I forgot the one eyed Granpa

None of the above.

Mine is definitely:

BLACKLEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

None of the above.

Mine is definitely:

BLACKLEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, praise Chick for showing us the evils of D&D
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0046/0046_11.gif

None of the above.

Mine is definitely:

BLACKLEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hee.
That's the character most like me!
:p
I would have picked her is she was an option.

I like the evolution tract best. So ridiculous... So scientificly inaccurate... And the way the professor flies of the handle... Comedy gold! And then that bit about Jesus holding together molecules. As my dad said when I told him about it. 'The man must be rather busy then!'

But Jack Chick's satan is funny too... 'Specially that 'Haw haw haw' laugh.
Check this one out, explaining Noah's Flood:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5002/5002_01.asp
It's even sillier than the Evolution one! Apparently there was a canopy of water around the Earth which shielded the planet from the sun's harmful rays and created a 'hot house' effect. This made perfect weather conditions which allowed people to live for 900 years.

Where to start with that one? Can anyone see any sense in that sentence?

Yes, praise Chick for showing us the evils of D&D
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0046/0046_11.gif

But this version is so much more fun

http://rpglibrary.blackgate.net/inspiration/darkdungeons/

=)

"Jesus or evolution?"
Humans on tricerotops!
The world is only 6,000 years old!
People lived 900 years!
WOW! MY LIFE IS CHANGED! I SEE THE LIGHT!
Seriously though, Chick is an embarassment to Christianity. He thinks it's "God or Science", not understanding that Science simply explains God's work, and doesn't conflict with it!

But this version is so much more fun

http://rpglibrary.blackgate.net/inspiration/darkdungeons/

=)
I know

:D

You forgot these two from 'The Last Generation:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp

The Monster:
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_08.gif


New Age Healer:
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_13.gif

Hmmm... It's a tie between Lil' Suzy and Angry Jesus.

Why is the new age healer some kind of supervillain?

Oh wait... I get it. I still think it'd be funny to see him rob a bank only for Jesus to turn up and cast him into the pit of hell.
Reminds me of a Bill Hicks quote.

"The prince of peace is back! And he's pissed."

*commences making gun noises as the Prince of Peace guns down unbelievers*

You forgot these two from 'The Last Generation:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp

The Monster:
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_08.gif

Well, It was sorta covered by stereotypical Satanist and there are only 10 options. But...


New Age Healer:
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_13.gif

...I don't believe I left this guy out.

Reminds me of a Bill Hicks quote.

"The prince of peace is back! And he's pissed."

*commences making gun noises as the Prince of Peace guns down unbelievers*

:D


[pic of vengeful Jesus]
Vengeful Jesus. Yes Jesus is back. And this time he's pissed off!

I must add another quote.
"I want Jesus!"

New Age Healer
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_13.gif
...I don't believe I left this guy out.
You realise that you're going to Hell for leaving him out.

read the comic. It's hilarious! When they torture the old guy, they 'insert microchips to increase the pain!"
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_17.gif
Damn those satanic computers!

Damn. I wish I could change my vote. Grandpa with a missing eye is far cooler. Probably lost it against those "Pinko Commie Muslim Satanists" in 'Nam...

You realise that you're going to Hell for leaving him out.

read the comic. It's hilarious! When they torture the old guy, they 'insert microchips to increase the pain!"
http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_17.gif
Damn those satanic computers!
Which tract is that from?
That's hilarious!

I think I've been laughing at the name Grandpa patches for an hour now, or however long it was since I seen it.


Anyway. The correct answer is still vengeful Jesus, even though I didn't notice the exact same Bill Hicks homage that Conceptualists had put in underneath it that I was reminded of.

Which tract is that from?
That's hilarious!
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp

http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0094/0094_07.gif


I think that perhaps the most important thing we have to learn is the small part underneath the bible quotation on the bottom left hand of this image.

The one in bold. That's right. Genius.

Which tract is that from?
That's hilarious!
'The Last Generation:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp
It's where I got New Age Healer from.
I hope Chick does some more stuff with NAH, cause he's an awesome character!
Maybe we could petition to have him as the new super-villian in the next Spiderman movie.

You forgot Fang (The Little Dog who appeared in every tract from the past decade or so, up until the third Lil Suzy Tract) and (m favorite, though a one-time appearance) The Pope as the Horseman riding the pale horse.

Of those you listed, Lil Suzy wins, but Death-pope, in his one frame from all of Chickhood, made me laugh more than anything outside of Dark Dungeons (I'm fighting the Zomie!).

...I voted for 'Bad Bob' because it was seeing 'Bad Bob' that gave me greater impetus to rip stuff from Chick's own site and cobble together my very own Subgenius-themed tract, including 'Bad Bob' himself!

It's called, 'Where's My Toilet Paper, Damnit?' and yes - I have posted links for it on these threads in the past, so this message may seem a little spammy, especially if you're an 'old hand' on NS. My apologies.

http://homepage.mac.com/gmst/jpage1.html

I'd like to encourage anyone to rip 'n' cobble Jack Chick - he deserves to be culturejammed!

DT.

But this version is so much more fun

http://rpglibrary.blackgate.net/inspiration/darkdungeons/

=)


:D I like, I like.

I love this picture on the left:

http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/1019/1019_18.gif

See it's simple: Satan controls the pope, who controls the entire world.

I had to go with the gays with demons crawling over them - the idea is just comic hilarity :D

I can see you are all being converted to the great and obviously truthful words of our great lord Chick, only you will be saved when judgement day comes. In fact no, you're all going to hell to.

How can you not love li'l suzy? She's converting the atheists one by one- she's a one girl missionary society.

I love how easily people are converted, it's always like
Suzy: "She's wrong, Jesus died for our sins"
Other kid who we'll never see again: "Oh right then. I'll accept him as my saviour in that case"

Bump

If I were gay, I would COMPLETELY want a demon constantly bursting out of my chest. That's why I picked the 'Gays with demons'.

If I were gay, I would COMPLETELY want a demon constantly bursting out of my chest. That's why I picked the 'Gays with demons'.
I'm still going for New Age Man. He's the ultimate super-villian. I bet he's armed to the teeth with healing crystals, mantras, homeopathic remedies, acupunture needles, aromatherapy candles and Feng Shui martial arts.

To Dobbs Town, awesome piss-take you've done there! :)

If I were gay, I would COMPLETELY want a demon constantly bursting out of my chest. That's why I picked the 'Gays with demons'.
Whenever im feeling lonely i can just alk to my freindly demon.

In other news:

Follows of the great religion of Chick, i command ye, help me find the right address to send my letter to Chick to, for i must let him know that we have seen the light, and recognised him as the one true lord.

There are loads of addresses and i dont know which to chose, someone help me out.

None of the above.
Mine is definitely:
BLACKLEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blaaakleaaaf!!!!!!!!

Miss Snow absolutely rocks! I want a copy of Dark Dungeons so bad....

"And then I cast a spell on my dad to make him buy me more books, figures, and dice."

There was a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 parody of Dark Dungeons that was truly priceless. I'll have to go read that again....

So who is this Chick guy? (Other than a really terrible propaganda comic-strip writer) Does anyone actually believe the stuff he writes? Is he intentionally making a mockery of Christianity?
I bet he's a seminary drop-out who couldn't even make the grade as a Baptist preacher, and now he's taking out his vengeance on the faithful by making them look like idiots.

Whenever im feeling lonely i can just alk to my freindly demon.

In other news:

Follows of the great religion of Chick, i command ye, help me find the right address to send my letter to Chick to, for i must let him know that we have seen the light, and recognised him as the one true lord.

There are loads of addresses and i dont know which to chose, someone help me out.

JC is notoriously secretive. I don't think you'll find his address anywhere. Not even sure if he has email (and if he does he will have a receptionist to filter out the crap)

JC is notoriously secretive. I don't think you'll find his address anywhere. Not even sure if he has email (and if he does he will have a receptionist to filter out the crap)
Well at least get me his publisher... my true faith must see the light of day.

Just think, you'll be doing your part toward helping the United Church of the True Chick. How can that ever be a bad thing?

I've been wanting Chicks e-mail for a while so I can tell him to stop making us Christians look bad and stupid. He's only helping the false theory that we are all hicks who hate science and hate everyone else.

I've been wanting Chicks e-mail for a while so I can tell him to stop making us Christians look bad and stupid. He's only helping the false theory that we are all hicks who hate science and hate everyone else.

You only say that because he revealed unto the world that you Catholics are actually worshiping SATAN, and that's why you were the only version of Christianity for about 500 years.

i pick other: the Crusaders, the Christian Vice squad from the 1970s, the typical black dude with an afro and a dumbass looking white guy

If you DO e-mail Chick, all that he'll do is sign you up to about ten fundamentalist Christian newsletters. A mate of mine on another forum tried to complain about his "D&D is the first step to WITCHCRAFT!!!!!" strip.

You only say that because he revealed unto the world that you Catholics are actually worshiping SATAN, and that's why you were the only version of Christianity for about 500 years.

Your right! I should have known! Chick is actually trying to help me escape the wrath of the evil Pope! He may not be able to talk but its all a distraction. He is really going to live for 900 years like the people in Genisis and one day his army of Vatican soldiers are going to take over the world and stamp everyone with the number 666! Chick knows what he is talking about!

Your right! I should have known! Chick is actually trying to help me escape the wrath of the evil Pope! He may not be able to talk but its all a distraction. He is really going to live for 900 years like the people in Genisis and one day his army of Vatican soldiers are going to take over the world and stamp everyone with the number 666! Chick knows what he is talking about!
Finally my child you see the light, was not it obvious all along now you think about it. Quick go forth and convert others to the path of sense and truth.

OMG, i just realised that the goa'uld are the anti-christ! going around stamping peoples heads with their signs, te'ok is the devil!

Your right! I should have known! Chick is actually trying to help me escape the wrath of the evil Pope! He may not be able to talk but its all a distraction. He is really going to live for 900 years like the people in Genisis and one day his army of Vatican soldiers are going to take over the world and stamp everyone with the number 666! Chick knows what he is talking about!


Another lost soul saved from the evils of the religion Chick's faith came from.

Quick! I must warn my fellow Catholics about the evils of our faith! Chick has shown me the light! IHS on communion wafers stand for Horus, Iris, and Seb! The three egyptian gods! Catholics must be pagan then! Oh noes! And wait............if Catholics are pagan.....SO ARE THE IRS! That really stands for Iris, Ra, and Seb! Quick, nobody pay your taxes or your paying satan!

Quick! I must warn my fellow Catholics about the evils of our faith! Chick has shown me the light! IHS on communion wafers stand for Horus, Iris, and Seb! The three egyptian gods! Catholics must be pagan then! Oh noes! And wait............if Catholics are pagan.....SO ARE THE IRS! That really stands for Iris, Ra, and Seb! Quick, nobody pay your taxes or your paying satan!
I agree with you totally, give all your money to Chick, oh except the Gods were Called:

Isis
Set

Chick spelled wrong then.

Oh wait how dare I say Chick did something wrong please don't kill me for heresy mr. high chick priest sir.

Chick spelled wrong then.

Oh wait how dare I say Chick did something wrong please don't kill me for heresy mr. high chick priest sir.
My Ninja Pirate Butlers are on their way to but you out of your misery now. Just thank Chick he was there to help you.

Chick spelled wrong then.

Oh wait how dare I say Chick did something wrong please don't kill me for heresy mr. high chick priest sir.

Is it any suprise that great Chick would not grant these foul CATHOLIC Gods their true names?! As for warning your fellow catholics, remember that they're probably all far too far gone now. Don't start preaching! They'll tear you apart!

Yeah they'll probably hit me with their IDOLS.

Mrs Hen. Because anyone who is evil looks evil as well, to ensure that the rightous followers of Chick can spot them easily. ;)

bad Bob.

He should have beat the little shit when he had the chance.

If you DO e-mail Chick, all that he'll do is sign you up to about ten fundamentalist Christian newsletters. A mate of mine on another forum tried to complain about his "D&D is the first step to WITCHCRAFT!!!!!" strip.
I wonder if Chick is aware that he has probably done more to further Paganism than any Pagan writer.

So who is this Chick guy?


A Mr. Defensor Fidei, who is most likely not our own Defensor (is he banned yet?), did an interview (http://members.cox.net/jimmyakin/x-meet-jack-chick.htm) with Jack Chick. While he was not allowed Cameras, he did do a sketch of the now 80+ Year old Chick.

It seems as though Chick actually believes his work is for the greater good, though it does not answer whether or not Chick understands and uses the concept of satire.

Chick is very secretive.

im not even halfway through this, chick is a CRACKPOT, "It could help get alot of people sold- uh, saved" WOOPS, kind of slipped there

Chick is very secretive.
Well, you would be too if Jesuit assassins were after you.

Yeah they might put him in one of those concentration camps they were running.

Yeah they might put him in one of those concentration camps they were running.
They're not concentration camps. The technical name is Seminaries for the Theologically Challenged

They're not concentration camps. The technical name is Seminaries for the Theologically Challenged
How right you are.

r0f1

4 1337 |3|_||\/|p

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2730006&postcount=232

Not exactly sure if this is relevant, but the first page of that thread's great, and it has some weak relation to any conversation on Tolkein or Chick.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2730006&postcount=232

Not exactly sure if this is relevant, but the first page of that thread's great, and it has some weak relation to any conversation on Tolkein or Chick.
ROFL

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2730006&postcount=232

Not exactly sure if this is relevant, but the first page of that thread's great, and it has some weak relation to any conversation on Tolkein or Chick.
ROFL...
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I'm going for Effete Satan and that panel's implication that re-runs are a work of the devil.

As an addict of TV Land, he has me...

I like the guy from the tract about the plane wreck.

When his life is flashing before his eyes, he remembers this one time when he looked at some girl's rack and thought "Mmmmm. Nice." Then the plane crashes.

That dude rocked.

Ah Lord of the Rings, a most unholy creation, it is good to see Jack Chick is at work trying to convert the heathen...

LOL - Jack Chick got his head cut off, serves the old bugger right.

I like the greedy, insinous Buddhist fellow from "The Tycoon".
The sheer irony kills me.

http://img146.exs.cx/img146/56/evilgreedytycoon5te.gif

These characters are just brilliant! The stereotypical Satanist one had me pissing myself laughing.

I must follow this thread as I suspect the site it's from isn't actually the pisstake I think it is...

It is meant to be ironic, right?

It is meant to be ironic, right?
Sadly no, Chick, by all acounts, takes himself seriously.

He also refuses to have his picture taken or his personal address publically known and never accepts guests since he thinks Jesuit assassins are after him (I'm being serious about this, he thinks they already killed his ex-jesuit friend, Alberto Rivera)

Never fear my Ninja Pirate Butler protect Chick day and night from harm, none of you non believers can harm the God-King Chick.

In other news, one of the main reasons i find Chicks tracts funny is beause he so believes himself to be right... sure Chick, The Pope is literally controlled by a slightly fat devil.

OMG! Go to jackchick.com.

I was going to get the link for the Flight 144 dude, when I did this by mistake. God bless whoever runs www.jackchick.com.

Anyway, my new favorite after going to the real chick.com is "Drink-doping party Satan."

Never fear my Ninja Pirate Butler protect Chick day and night from harm, none of you non believers can harm the God-King Chick.

They are no match for the Vatican's ultra-secret Jesuit infiltrators with patented Auto-Conversion(TM) technology. Guarenteed to convert the heathen at 600 paces.

In other news, one of the main reasons i find Chicks tracts funny is beause he so believes himself to be right... sure Chick, The Pope is literally controlled by a slightly fat devil.

Can you not telll the Pope is a mean marionetter just by looing at him?

It is also the way he will hold all other religious books up to scrutiny, yet has never bothered to do the same thing wih the Bible.

lol Man... I once found this website... Let me see if I can find the link to it, and I'll edit it into here. It had to do with Chick Tracts.

I read the one about the gay dentists with the gay devils on their backs and two things occurred to me.

One of the devils had a Tom Selleck-type "gay clone" moustache. Jack Chick certainly has an eye for the important details, doubtless acquired through countless hours cruising gay bars.

Is "dentist" somehow code for "homosexual"? I was just thinking back to the Rudolph the Reindeer christmas special. The little elf wanted to be a dentist too, before he decided he was a misfit.

I vote for the Angry Muslim because he has a change of heart.

http://www.chick.com/tractimages9587/0042/0042_22.gif

That damn Moon God, everybody knows that there is only one omnipotent God, it's only reasonable. :p

I read the one about the gay dentists with the gay devils on their backs and two things occurred to me.

One of the devils had a Tom Selleck-type "gay clone" moustache. Jack Chick certainly has an eye for the important details, doubtless acquired through countless hours cruising gay bars.

Is "dentist" somehow code for "homosexual"? I was just thinking back to the Rudolph the Reindeer christmas special. The little elf wanted to be a dentist too, before he decided he was a misfit.

Dentists cause pain. It is easiest to convert the weak-minded.

Do the math and figure the rest out yourself.

I like the greedy, insinous Buddhist fellow from "The Tycoon".
The sheer irony kills me.

http://img146.exs.cx/img146/56/evilgreedytycoon5te.gif
That guy looks more like Jim Jones with a shaved head than a Buddhist.
And what is it with Chick's obsession with shades?

That guy looks more like Jim Jones with a shaved head than a Buddhist.
And what is it with Chick's obsession with shades?
duh, all people in on conspiracies wear shades, and the vatican cosnpiracy is the bgigest of all

Isn't Chess Squares a Jack Chick character? I mean, they have to have someone in shades who plays the non-Christian, right?

Isn't Chess Squares a Jack Chick character? I mean, they have to have someone in shades who plays the non-Christian, right?
oh yeah i will send him my picture so they can put me in a tract about people who arnt religious who eat babies, hell maybei can be a jesuit assassin that is tryign to kill chick and is saved by some one praying at me, not for me mind you, but at me

oh yeah i will send him my picture so they can put me in a tract about people who arnt religious who eat babies, hell maybei can be a jesuit assassin that is tryign to kill chick and is saved by some one praying at me, not for me mind you, but at me

I'm sure I'm already in there, as I do eat babies.

I'm sure I'm already in there, as I do eat babies.
yeah that doesnt suprise me, ill have to go look for it

Bump for good luck

I can't believe he actually thinks Jesuit assasins are after him. That sounds weird even for Chick. Does he have any "evidence" that they killed Alberto Rivera?

I can't believe he actually thinks Jesuit assasins are after him. That sounds weird even for Chick. Does he have any "evidence" that they killed Alberto Rivera?
well thats a mix of believable and unbeilavble things.
unbelievable: an ex-IRA agent told him he was given a poison.... it was for knowing too much about the great vatican conspiracy or something

more believable: he was given a government developed poison that causes cancer

I can't believe he actually thinks Jesuit assasins are after him.
That's fecking awesome!!
Where'd he say that? I wanna see.

I can't believe he actually thinks Jesuit assasins are after him. That sounds weird even for Chick. Does he have any "evidence" that they killed Alberto Rivera?
Well he is dead.

Well he is dead.
yes, however, he died of colon cancer

That's fecking awesome!!
Where'd he say that? I wanna see.
Try this as a starter for ten:

http://www.chick.com/reading/books/199/0199_01a.asp

Try this as a starter for ten:

http://www.chick.com/reading/books/199/0199_01a.asp

CHARGE NO. 3

Rivera's "Conspiracy Theory" is extreme and paranoid.

Answer: There are only two ways in which world history can be explained:

1. The accidental theory. All events, such as those world depressions, revolutions, wars and political plots are the results of pure chance. Such a view is as ridiculous as belief in evolution!

2. The conspiratorial theory. World events such as mentioned above, take place because some influential people want them to happen and make them happen. People with power meet behind closed doors and work out plans to achieve their aims. The most precise way to describe such conduct is - conspiracy.

Oh God no... Not this again.

yes, however, he died of colon cancer
And I suppose you'll tell me that it is a common form of cancer now. :rolleyes:

It's a real shame the new age healer wasnt on that list. Lil Suzy's friend are also really funny, since they're so naive and impressionable.

at this:

http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/intro.html

Go on: pull my finger!

Yay, look what I've just found on my hard disk:

http://img159.exs.cx/img159/3608/cthulhu014pp.jpg

http://img143.exs.cx/img143/820/cthulhu028nd.jpghttp://img143.exs.cx/img143/3836/cthulhu031oa.jpg


But I don't feel like posting them all, maybe later though

Evil Jesus Pwns everyone else.

I drink Jesus in a Blender on Thursday nights with G-D and Ol' Scratch.

God is and will always be my favorite Jack Chick character.

http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/666.jpg

It's all about the lack of face, but the clearly human rest of Him. "Let us make mankind in our image, but we think man should have some eyes and a nose and perhaps a mouth so that man isn't quite like us. I am the Lord."

So, is this grave digging of bumping?

So, is this grave digging of bumping?

Meh ... it's a good thread.

I nominate Lunatic Goofballs for Jack Chick's next character:

http://www.unlc.biz/images/lunaticeat.gif

Meh ... it's a good thread.

I nominate Lunatic Goofballs for Jack Chick's next character:

http://www.unlc.biz/images/lunaticeat.gif
:eek:

We should get a petition together. :)

:eek:

We should get a petition together. :)

Just gotta put some shades on him and then he will be a tool of the Jesuits!

with Ms Frost from ye old Dark Dungeons.

And the multiple spoofs thereof:

The MST3K spoof was the best.

THen there was 3rd Edition: Tool of Satan (its probably still out there somewhere).

and there is PVP's spoof: Jesus Kills (http://www.pvponline.com/rants_jesus.php3)

All quite good.