NationStates Jolt Archive

1.) I'm not even powerful, let alone all powerful.
2.) I'm not omniscient.
3.) I'm very egotistical despite my lack of the aforementioned qualities.
4.) I'm only somewhat compassionate.
5.) I'm not really awe-inspiring.

1.) I'm not even powerful, let alone all powerful.
2.) I'm not omniscient.
3.) I'm very egotistical despite my lack of the aforementioned qualities.
4.) I'm only somewhat compassionate.
5.) I'm not really awe-inspiring.

Sounds like god to me.

Sounds like god to me.

Hmmm. Atheist? Agnostic? Animist? Nihilist?

1.) Not even close to powerful
2.) I'm too bleeding-heart compassionate to do anything
3.) STARK RAVING MAD!!! Stark rAVINg mad!!! StARk raVingMad!!! STARKRAVINGMAD!!!

Really, does everybody want their left hands spontaneously metamorphosing into potted plants?

1.) Not even close to powerful
2.) I'm too bleeding-heart compassionate to do anything
3.) STARK RAVING MAD!!! Stark rAVINg mad!!! StARk raVingMad!!! STARKRAVINGMAD!!!

Really, does everybody want their left hands spontaneously metamorphosing into potted plants?

you... you can make my hand do that?!

all hail neo-anarchists! you have to pray to someone who can use awesome words like metamorphosing... and have it make sense

Yes I want my hand turning in to a potted plant ... wait well ... Yes! ... no wait let me ask my boil....

Man, think of the benefits of being regarded as a god by humanity...

1.) I'm not even powerful, let alone all powerful.
2.) I'm not omniscient.
3.) I'm very egotistical despite my lack of the aforementioned qualities.
4.) I'm only somewhat compassionate.
5.) I'm not really awe-inspiring.
You inspire a little awe in me...
...

Ok, nevermind, I was just trying to make you feel important.

...Hmm...what is it Hitchhiker's Guide said? Only the guys who don't want to rule the galaxy can be allowed to rule the galaxy?.....

You inspire a little awe in me...
...

Ok, nevermind, I was just trying to make you feel important.

...Hmm...what is it Hitchhiker's Guide said? Only the guys who don't want to rule the galaxy can be allowed to rule the galaxy?.....
yep

If you're gonna turn my left hand into a potted plant, could you make it a Venus Flytrap? I'm into this whole opposable thumb thing, and that would make a decent substitution.

Why I would not be a good god:

I'd slaughter half of America. The Jesusland part.

Yes I want my hand turning in to a potted plant ... wait well ... Yes! ... no wait let me ask my boil....

Depends on what kind of plant...Cuz I'm thinking a small rosebush would be nice...Flowers to impress the girl, thorns to beat the crap out of people...

you... you can make my hand do that?!

all hail neo-anarchists! you have to pray to someone who can use awesome words like metamorphosing... and have it make sense
If I fail to make utter nonsense, take some DMT. It will help me make less sense...
It will also help me metamorphose your hand. If I'm lucky.

On an unrelated note, has anybody heard the song "Metastasis" by Naked Raygun? If so, what the fuck are they yelling during the chorus? Can they pronounce 'metastasis' at all, or is that some other word?
I love Naked Raygun anyway though.
:p

If you're gonna turn my left hand into a potted plant, could you make it a Venus Flytrap? I'm into this whole opposable thumb thing, and that would make a decent substitution.

yeah, me too.. plus, i could eat stuff with my hand, and who hasnt dreamt of doing that?

My agnosticism would be very self-defeating. It would be difficult to believe in my abilities when I would doubt my own existence.

yep
Ah, well, I'm out, cuz ruling the galaxy would be frigging awesome...oh well...

*mistakenly scratches butt with rosebush-hand*
Anyone got a band-aide!?

Ah, well, I'm out, cuz ruling the galaxy would be frigging awesome...oh well...

*mistakenly scratches butt with rosebush-hand*
Anyone got a band-aide!?
Define 'band-aide' first.
In the meanwhile, here's a grilled cheese sandwich.
:)

My agnosticism would be very self-defeating. It would be difficult to believe in my abilities when I would doubt my own existence.
I don't doubt you.
I believe in you, Superman!!

I'd be a fine god. But not THE God.

I could be Lunatic SteelBall! He of the indestructible genitals!

:D

Define 'band-aide' first.
In the meanwhile, here's a grilled cheese sandwich.
:)

its another miracle... i want cool powers like the ability to grill cheese and bread and serve it as food.... then i'd feed it to my cool carnivorous plant/hand

My agnosticism would be very self-defeating. It would be difficult to believe in my abilities when I would doubt my own existence.
That sounds remarkably like the guy from Hitcher's Guide...

Which, BTW, if it sounds like I'm obsessed with that book it's because I'm in the middle of reading it for the first time...Rather, the series. Same thing.

My agnosticism would be very self-defeating. It would be difficult to believe in my abilities when I would doubt my own existence.

If you were an omnipotent god who doubted your own existence, you would disappear. :(

I don't doubt you.
I believe in you, Superman!!
If we all clap our hands real loud...!

"I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO! I DO!"

Andaluciae puts his hand out and utters forth a stiring of words in some ancient odd language, beams of light shoot out from his hat towards NA.

As NA stands stunned, the beams of light form a hat upon his head, sealing his hand transformational powers forever inside him, never to escape.

its another miracle... i want cool powers like the ability to grill cheese and bread and serve it as food.... then i'd feed it to my cool carnivorous plant/hand
Except it's carnivorous, so it wouldn't like cheese and bread...

And all you need is a George Forman (sp?) grill and an outlet...You can make cheese sandwiches anywhere!

Including the back of a bandroom behind the percussion cabinet :rolleyes:
Stupid percussionists....

its another miracle... i want cool powers like the ability to grill cheese and bread and serve it as food.... then i'd feed it to my cool carnivorous plant/hand
That's a nice idea. Have a cookie, and use it for the powers of gooooood.

Isn't it ironic that most grilled cheese sandwiches are fried rather than grilled? It's an injustice to the cheese. And the grilled. We must grill more grilled cheese sandwiches! This is where the cookie comes in.

What the hell does 'grille-pain' mean? Its written on my toaster. I suppose grills can cause pain in fairly prodigious amounts if incorrectly utilized, but I don't see why the warning must be included on a toaster's settings dial...

As an aside, I don't own a grill.

Oh, and *waves to Myrth* :D

he still around?

If you were an omnipotent god who doubted your own existence, you would disappear. :(

:eek:

Couldn't I just not be a God?

*crosses fingers*

Andaluciae puts his hand out and utters forth a stiring of words in some ancient odd language, beams of light shoot out from his hat towards NA.

As NA stands stunned, the beams of light form a hat upon his head, sealing his hand transformational powers forever inside him, never to escape.
Damn it. This seems to happen every Friday...
Maybe if I take more drugs my superpwoers will get superer. Supererer. Soup is good food.

Damn it. This seems to happen every Friday...
Maybe if I take more drugs my superpwoers will get superer. Supererer. Soup is good food.
*laughs as NA ODs*

:eek:

Couldn't I just not be a God?

*crosses fingers*
That's easy. You aren't God, you're Superman!!!

Damn it. This seems to happen every Friday...
Maybe if I take more drugs my superpwoers will get superer. Supererer. Soup is good food.
Eh, it you'd learn to use your superpowers with restraint, I'm sure this wouldn't happen.

Oh yeah, and next time your hands get permanently encased in leatherette gloves.

Oh, and *waves to Myrth* :D

he still around?
His services will soon be needed, it seems.
Damn, I done wrecked this thread...

1.) I'm not even powerful, let alone all powerful.
2.) I'm not omniscient.
3.) I'm very egotistical despite my lack of the aforementioned qualities.
4.) I'm only somewhat compassionate.
5.) I'm not really awe-inspiring.
1) You are powerful, you just don't know it.
2) Better not to be a know-it-all.
3) Ego is not inherently a bad thing; it's what you do with it that counts.
4) This one would be a bit of a hinderance.
5) Can't comment unless you post your picture.

I'd say you have good god potential.

His services will soon be needed, it seems.
Damn, I done wrecked this thread...

Yes you did, you mean ole hijacker! *beats NA with a cane* :D

5) Can't comment unless you post your picture.

:D

That's easy. You aren't God, you're Superman!!!

Whew :)

*powers return as self doubt fades*

I am off.

*flies off to fight NS crime*

WATCH OUT EVIL DOERS!!!

Hmmm. Atheist? Agnostic? Animist? Nihilist?

Realist.

Realist.
Feel the reality of my wrath!

*makes a really good tasting cake appear on Ogieks table*

Realist.

Indeed? What are the tenets of your "Realist" belief system?

"I'm a god. Not THE God...I don't think"

Groundhog Day

"I'm a god. Not THE God...I don't think"

Groundhog Day

Oh dear. A surrealist pretending to be a realist. That makes more sense. ;)

What the hell does 'grille-pain' mean? Its written on my toaster. I suppose grills can cause pain in fairly prodigious amounts if incorrectly utilized, but I don't see why the warning must be included on a toaster's settings dial...

Grille-pain sounds like french, maybe for bread grill. Close enough to match up to toaster.

Did you get your toaster in Canada, maybe?

Oh dear. A surrealist pretending to be a realist. That makes more sense. ;)
I feel pain...

Grille-pain sounds like french, maybe for bread grill. Close enough to match up to toaster.

Did you get your toaster in Canada, maybe?
No...
I'm surprised there's french on it, the whole box was printed with spanish and japanese.

Except it's carnivorous, so it wouldn't like cheese and bread...

yeah but... i'd make it meat sented, thus tricking my hand into eating it

That's a nice idea. Have a cookie, and use it for the powers of gooooood.

i have a magical good cookie. im as happy as a boy can be

Isn't it ironic that most grilled cheese sandwiches are fried rather than grilled? It's an injustice to the cheese. And the grilled. We must grill more grilled cheese sandwiches! This is where the cookie comes in.

so....
*crumbles cookie over fried cheese sandwich*
...right?



What the hell does 'grille-pain' mean? Its written on my toaster. I suppose grills can cause pain in fairly prodigious amounts if incorrectly utilized, but I don't see why the warning must be included on a toaster's settings dial...

that just mean that your food will come out whooped as hell... hence the pain part

No...
I'm surprised there's french on it, the whole box was printed with spanish and japanese.
it's definitely french...

it's definitely french...
How profoundly odd.

Oh dear. A surrealist pretending to be a realist. That makes more sense. ;)

No, if I were a surrealist I couldn't be god (or asparagus) because Tuesday is the intersection of Halloween and pastry when all the pink lobsters fly out of my butt.

Thank you for slapping grandma, though.

You guys don't need to be God, I think all of you are going to make great Buddhas

If i were god id create alter dimensions for evry one where the could frolic and would be "served" by hot "insert your gender preferance here" and wouldnt have any worries. Unless they wanted some to keep it interesting.
ooo i got it an RPG that goes on forever for them to play!

Possibly an explanation for what reality is. But I maintain my belief that the frontend for it sucks.

I would be a great god. Because I'm fair, balanced and impartial.

I would be a great god. Because I'm fair, balanced and impartial.
Didnt you also used to design dresses under the name "Simkaria" ?

Didnt you also used to design dresses under the name "Simkaria" ?
Not dresses. Lederhosen.

You guys don't need to be God, I think all of you are going to make great Buddhas
Except I'm not fat and bald...
And I don't smile enough :P

5. "We need more civic buildings!"
4. "We need more wood!"
3. "We need more food!"
2. "We're under attack!"
1. "We need more offspring!"

The reason I would not make a good God is that I believe I would make a good God.