NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/01/03/britain.cats.ap/index.html

See, that's the difference between the British and Americans.

The british have a sense of humor about their reliance on furry mouse-catchers.

Americans only employ animals if they can sniff out bombs or other such nonsense.

That will change when I ascend to power. :)

Let me say two things, first, I love cats, and second, I love this story.

Actually, the CIA spent millions implanting a wire in a cat, so it could spy on people at dinner parties. It then went and ate a mouse when it should have been on duty. Apparently, the recorded sounds were considered useless in the fight against communism.

I love this bit:
Peter died in 1964, and was buried without tears, according to one civil servant's note.

"My colleague, in his capacity of chief sycophant, prostrated himself with due decorum six times towards the north," he wrote.

"The ceremony concluded with the popping of 12 champagne bottles, the scheduled detachment of the Queen's Bongville Rifles being unavoidably delayed."
How does one go about applying for the position of chief sycophant? It sounds like a marvellous job!

Read once that the U.S. Army tried to use cats in Vietnam. They thought that cats would be able to detect enemy troops more quickly than dogs did. Problem was they always wandered off or played with things dangling from the troops' backpacks. And they really didn't care where the enemy was.

How does one go about applying for the position of chief sycophant? It sounds like a marvellous job!

You have to start out as junior toady, becoming assistant butkisser and then moving up to yesman after your four year probationary period. The you can get to head of department and become an official crony, from where you curry favour with the PM until he places you on the sycophant roll. When the current incumbent dies, a member of the roll will be chosen to take up the position.

It's a very old, very honourable tradition that dates back to the civil war.

You have to start out as junior toady, becoming assistant butkisser and then moving up to yesman after your four year probationary period. The you can get to head of department and become an official crony, from where you curry favour with the PM until he places you on the sycophant roll. When the current incumbent dies, a member of the roll will be chosen to take up the position.

It's a very old, very honourable tradition that dates back to the civil war.

The British civil war?

The British civil war?

Well, we weren't going to appoint him because of anyone elses, were we?

Well, we weren't going to appoint him because of anyone elses, were we?

Well, the rest of the post was absurd, so why not appoint an official at the time of another nation's civil war? In the spirit of being completely arbitrary, maybe rather than passing on the title in death Chief Syncophants could be required to resign whenever there is a civil war anywhere in the world.

Well, the rest of the post was absurd, so why not appoint an official at the time of another nation's civil war? In the spirit of being completely arbitrary, maybe rather than passing on the title in death Chief Syncophants could be required to resign whenever there is a civil war anywhere in the world.

Good God no! That sort of thing might work well for the bloody
French, but we're civilized over here!

Good God no! That sort of thing might work well for the bloody
French, but we're civilized over here!

Well, being about 8000 miles farther west, and living in a land that civilization missed, I don't see any problem with my plan.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/01/03/britain.cats.ap/index.html

See, that's the difference between the British and Americans.

The british have a sense of humor about their reliance on furry mouse-catchers.

Americans only employ animals if they can sniff out bombs or other such nonsense.

That will change when I ascend to power. :)

:D All hail Lunatic Goofballs, the president/king/emperor of United States of America! :D

The French version of a usefull cat.

http://www.rightmoment.blogspot.com/Pics/free%20cat.jpg

Mmmmmm, lunch.

And they really didn't care where the enemy was.

or who, presumably!

The French version of a usefull cat.

http://www.rightmoment.blogspot.com/Pics/free%20cat.jpg

Mmmmmm, lunch.
Is that what is in thier pate?

:D All hail Lunatic Goofballs, the president/king/emperor of United States of America! :D

You apparently don't aim high, my friend.

President? Emperor? Hah! Titles for mortal pansies!

I'm talking about when I ascend to POWER! Yes. I mean of the whole thing. Omnipotence, my friend.

Supreme Being. *nod* That's the job for me. The best part about being the Supreme Being is that I don't have to do a damn thing. Look at the almighties in today's major religions. What do they do? Nothing. Oops. Sorry. They work in mysterious ways. That's my kind of job. I delight in working in mysterious ways. Well, more like odd, delusional and slightly demented ways. But as the Supreme Being, who is going to question my judgement?

I knew exactly what I was doing when I converted water into a gel.

...

Yes, I know it's harder to pump. Deal with it, ya whiners! You don't see the fish complaining, do ya?

:D Supreme Being. It'll happen. And you will all know when it does to. It'll be obvious when I take over the universe's reins. :D

Don't worry. I'll give the cats a great place in my divine plan. *nod*