NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm quite curious as to what people think of BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism) and fetish sex play.

I will say right here and now that I'm a practitioner of BDSM, but that I want to hear your opinion one way or the other. Is BDSM moral? If not, why?

Of course it's "moral". Morality is just a code of behavior. If two people are having consensual sex, BDSM or otherwise, how can that be wrong?

Read the Kinsey books, you'll see.

I used to hang out at this dominatrix's house sometimes. She was cool, her clients could be a little strange. I have no problem with it, as long as it is safe (use of safe words, etc.)

I don't care as long as the participants keep it behind closed doors and don't TELL me about it.

Of course it's "moral". Morality is just a code of behavior. If two people are having consensual sex, BDSM or otherwise, how can that be wrong?

Read the Kinsey books, you'll see.
I have :)

I don't understand what could be immoral about it.

Well.. in my opinion what two (or more) consenting adults do with eachother in the privacy of their own home or a special club is entirely their own business. Hmmm... this is even a nationstates issue ;-)

As to the 'moral' question... what would be against it ?

I'm sure it can be answered morally but rather there is a better question. One I hope isn't answered but good lord why?

I don't care as long as the participants keep it behind closed doors and don't TELL me about it.
Why shouldn't you be made aware of such activity happening in your society? God knows there's enough straight, vanilla sexual content alluded to in every corner of the American universe, why not BDSM?

I'm sure it can be answered morally but rather there is a better question. One I hope isn't answered but good lord why?
And what's that? :D

Morality is subjective. IMHO, whatever happens between two consenting adults in the privacy of their own home/fetish club/dungeon is entirely their business. If you judge something to be immoral, why would you do it? unless of course, that's part of the attraction!

I don't understand what could be immoral about it.
Ditto. As another person touched on, it's two consenting adults doing what they like.

The real question is "what are morals"
Personally, as long as it's consenting adults, go for it, I don't care if it involves a pound of lard, car battery and jumper cables and a plastic chicken. It's moral to me (I just wouldn't try it myself.)
Immoral as far as I'm concerned is when I hear news reports of orphaned children in Thailand being kidnapped into the forced sex trade.

I understand (and agree with) the consensus here; however, I think we forget what freaks people out about BDSM and fetish play. It's not the leather, or even really the unashamed sexuality of it all - it's that BDSM brings out and celebrates a lot of dark, painful, difficult, and taboo subjects and ideas. Within the BDSM scene, a woman who has long had rape fantasies can get said fantasies acted out for her pleasure; likewise, a man who has always wanted to be pierced with darning needles by a big, hairly clown until sheets of blood run down his back can do so. Men who are attracted to fatherly men (including, presumably, their fathers) can find a "daddy," and anyone who wishes to be used, abused, tortured and generally treated like an object can do so on a moment's notice. Now, given, the primary fetish (besides leather) of the BDSM scene is SSC - Safe, Sane and Consensual; however, even in a heavily safety-monitored environment, many people just can't handle facing their inner demons through sex.

At least, that's my view of it...

I understand (and agree with) the consensus here; however, I think we forget what freaks people out about BDSM and fetish play. It's not the leather, or even really the unashamed sexuality of it all - it's that BDSM brings out and celebrates a lot of dark, painful, difficult, and taboo subjects and ideas.

And as long all the participants are consenting adults: kudos to them. It takes a lot of courage and imagination to accept you have urges that differ from the mainstream and act on them.

And as long all the participants are consenting adults: kudos to them. It takes a lot of courage and imagination to accept you have urges that differ from the mainstream and act on them.
Thank you :fluffle:

And as long all the participants are consenting adults: kudos to them. It takes a lot of courage and imagination to accept you have urges that differ from the mainstream and act on them.

Yeah just look at Dahmer. He was a brave brave man.

[joke]

If I do it, it is normal.

If I would consider doing it, it is kinky.

If I would never consider doing it, it is vile, disgusting and immoral.

Seems to be a pretty useful rule of thumb.

Simply, if nobody gets hurt, I don't care what anyone does, provided they are consenting adults, and it occurs in privacy. Why should I care? And why should government? The religions can, of course, please themselves.

Is the entirety of activity consensual (meaning that all parties have agreed to do it and can stop whenever they want to)? Are the participents adults? If the answer to both these questions is yes, then of course it's moral. A different way of doing things, yes, but not immoral. I guess people think just because it's odd, and often dark that there must be something wrong with it. Fortunately, that does not seem to be the case here.

If Mr. and Mrs. Smith want to involve whips, chains and leather in their lovemaking, there's nothing really wrong about that.

Yeah just look at Dahmer. He was a brave brave man.
[joke]

*grin*- I doubt all his victims were consenting to be eaten though ;-)