NationStates Jolt Archive

I climbed to the highest point in my realm and looked down upon all I hold dominion over. The cold and gray reflect my mood. I rule the earth below me, command the light and darkness, wind and water bend to my whim, but I am discontent. For I am pledged and bound from interfering in the affairs of man that unfold below me. Too long I have remained dispassionate, unmoved by the death and suffering throughout my world and the renewal and life that springs forth to balance it. I cannot effect these things but I can no longer ignore them. The new life that awakens to replace the fading ones no longer consoles me. The faces of the dying haunt me. I can no longer pretend I don’t see the fear in the faces of the elderly and frail. Death stalks them and I am powerless to intervene. So I walk among them and meet their gazes. I owe them that. The realization that they are in their last days is in their eyes. I can only look them in their eyes and somehow, wordlessly try to calm them and give them dignity. I acknowledge that they are real, that they lived and that their lives held significance. But I know not their names, and they dry up and scatter like leaves to be replaced only by more frightened searching eyes. And I am powerless to intervene.

Is there a full moon out tonight?

Is there a full moon out tonight?Naw, I just have a kind of depressed feeling, so I decided to express my job in prose as a kind of catharsis.

So how's your night going?

Oh a full moon is calling, I feel it tonight.
My permanent's ruined, my nails are a fright,
My clothing's now all twenty sizes too tight.
Oh woe is the life of a werewolf....

Naw, I just have a kind of depressed feeling, so I decided to express my job in prose as a kind of catharsis.

So how's your night going?
Good...good...I have an online parapsychology degree if you need help with that depression or if ghost bothering you.

Oh a full moon is calling, I feel it tonight.
My permanent's ruined, my nails are a fright,
My clothing's now all twenty sizes too tight.
Oh woe is the life of a werewolf....
Hee.
That's mildly amusing.
What's that from?

Good...good...I have an online parapsychology degree if you need help with that depression or if ghost bothering you.Ghosts don't bother me.

It's just the steady progression of dead and dying that begins to get to you.

Ghosts don't bother me.

It's just the steady progression of dead and dying that begins to get to you.

Well thats part of the scheme of things isn't it....constant change...life,death and rebirth...such is the Wheel Of Karma my friend.

Hrowl, run, gowl at the full moon,
I can't get it right, I don't know why I try.
Soon the moon will be rising
Oh woe is the life of a were wolf.

My were friends all laugh, think it's a lark,
to joke of a were wolf afraid of the dark.
But this little were wolf was mugged in the park.
Oh woe is the life of a were wolf

This is song by Leslie Fish ( IIRC ) done sometime in the late 70's early 80's. I haven't hear it in years and am probably mangling it badly.

Interesting writing, and one that I can relate to.

Hope you don't mind my own attempts...

-------------------------
Sense of clarity lacking
And so acquainted you carry ahead
On the brim of grasping finished hope
hanging over a visualization
of a rare and relevant well-being

Always, always an urgency to ache for the next plataeu
always too distant from what you've felt
---------------------------

Any thoughts???

Well thats part of the scheme of things isn't it....constant change...life,death and rebirth...such is the Wheel Of Karma my friend.Eh,you didn't quite catch what I said in my first post did you?
The new life that awakens to replace the fading ones no longer consoles me.

My little piece of prose is an acurate expression of my job dressed up in flowery language. When I refer to the progression of dead and dying, I'm talking about the lives that end around me every day.

Sometimes even a belief in Karma doesn't dispel the shadows that such things cast upon ones soul.

Eh,you didn't quite catch what I said in my first post did you?


My little piece of prose is an acurate expression of my job dressed up in flowery language. When I refer to the progression of dead and dying, I'm talking about the lives that end around me every day.

Sometimes even a belief in Karma doesn't dispel the shadows that such things cast upon ones soul.

...upon what one percieves has a soul.

I'm lost...again.

Someone has got too caught up in a God strategy RPG.

I climbed to the highest point in my realm and looked down upon all I hold dominion over. The cold and gray reflect my mood. I rule the earth below me, command the light and darkness, wind and water bend to my whim, but I am discontent. For I am pledged and bound from interfering in the affairs of man that unfold below me. Too long I have remained dispassionate, unmoved by the death and suffering throughout my world and the renewal and life that springs forth to balance it. I cannot effect these things but I can no longer ignore them. The new life that awakens to replace the fading ones no longer consoles me. The faces of the dying haunt me. I can no longer pretend I don’t see the fear in the faces of the elderly and frail. Death stalks them and I am powerless to intervene. So I walk among them and meet their gazes. I owe them that. The realization that they are in their last days is in their eyes. I can only look them in their eyes and somehow, wordlessly try to calm them and give them dignity. I acknowledge that they are real, that they lived and that their lives held significance. But I know not their names, and they dry up and scatter like leaves to be replaced only by more frightened searching eyes. And I am powerless to intervene.Perhaps my ramblings need a little explanation.

I work as the facility engineer at a midsized hospital. For eight hours a day I am the ultimate authority and final word on all the physical things that comprise a modern hospital. But my authority ends at anything that deals with patient care. Most of the major systems are based in the bowels of the complex, where I hang out usually. Unfortunately the morgue is also located there and I'm witness to the stream of unfortunates that 'check out the back door'. And many of the service calls I go on take me into patient rooms. At this time of year the elderly make up a large portion of our patients. I see the faces of the dying every day, it wears on you after a while.

So you put your feelings into prose to try to chase away the demons.

some times we all need the healing power of a hug...

http://www.atddm.com/grouphug.gif

Perhaps my ramblings need a little explanation.

I work as the facility engineer at a midsized hospital. For eight hours a day I am the ultimate authority and final word on all the physical things that comprise a modern hospital. But my authority ends at anything that deals with patient care. Most of the major systems are based in the bowels of the complex, where I hang out usually. Unfortunately the morgue is also located there and I'm witness to the stream of unfortunates that 'check out the back door'. And many of the service calls I go on take me into patient rooms. At this time of year the elderly make up a large portion of our patients. I see the faces of the dying every day, it wears on you after a while.

So you put your feelings into prose to try to chase away the demons.

All is Dukkha...suffering. Death isn't the worse thing that could happen to you.

All is Dukkha...suffering. Death isn't the worse thing that could happen to you.I know you probably mean well, but please...Don't.

Fortune cookie wisdom doesn't help. If somehow the occupant of the body bag I just passed on the dock could weigh in on the matter, I think death would probably rank near the top of worst things that ever happened to him.

I know you probably mean well, but please...Don't.

Fortune cookie wisdom doesn't help. If somehow the occupant of the body bag I just passed on the dock could weigh in on the matter, I think death would probably rank near the top of worst things that ever happened to him.

I am not trying to console or comfort or give you some pithy spirituality I am just telling you that this is a world of pain and death and you better get used to it. And how do you know what the occupant of that body bag would have thought?, did you live his life? How could you possibly know what that fleshy lump went through when it was breathing...death for all you know could have been a release. But this is about that fleshy lump...its about yours...you hate seeing the death of other lumps of protoplasma that look like you because...they simply remind you of your own mortality.

I am not trying to console or comfort or give you some pithy spirituality I am just telling you that this is a world of pain and death and you better get used to it. And how do you know what the occupant of that body bag would have thought?, did you live his life? How could you possibly know what that fleshy lump went through when it was breathing...death for all you know could have been a release. But this is about that fleshy lump...its about yours...you hate seeing the death of other lumps of protoplasma that look like you because...they simply remind you of your own mortality.Look, I'm pretty secure in my mortality. I came to terms with my inevitable end long ago. But your clueless analysis is starting to irritate me.

So until you wander the same halls I do and look into the same frightened eyes I do,

Stop.

Look, I'm pretty secure in my mortality. I came to terms with my inevitable end long ago. But your clueless analysis is starting to irritate me.

So until you wander the same halls I do and look into the same frightened eyes I do,

Stop.

To quote the Buddha: "Well things are tough all over...buck up."

To quote the Buddha: "Well things are tough all over...buck up."Thanks.

You done now?

Thanks.

You done now?

Yes, but if you ever all mopey and gothy about death again I will be back. By the way I used to live on a ranch, where sheep where slaughter regularily , so I guess i have seen that frightened look.

You are noticing that people are dying. Now you know why Christians are so interested in getting the message of Christ out to the whole world. We think that it sucks dying without any hope. To a Christian, death is a release.

To a Christian, death is a release.

Well for people who willingly live under the tyranny of law I guess death would be a release.

You are noticing that people are dying. Now you know why Christians are so interested in getting the message of Christ out to the whole world. We think that it sucks dying without any hope. To a Christian, death is a release.

.

You can hope in one hand and shit in the other, and see which fills up first.

Well for people who willingly live under the tyranny of law I guess death would be a release.

Tyranny of law? Actually, that's about right. Christ came to free us from the law. What He commands us to do is for our own benefit, and the benefit of others. Doesn't seem that bad to me.

So Christ came to get rid of the tyranny of law. Unfortunately, the only way to do that completely is to destroy mankind right now. So we become Jesus Freaks to free our souls from the effects of the law, while our bodies are freed at death.

Tyranny of law? Actually, that's about right. Christ came to free us from the law. What He commands us to do is for our own benefit, and the benefit of others. Doesn't seem that bad to me.

So Christ came to get rid of the tyranny of law. Unfortunately, the only way to do that completely is to destroy mankind right now. So we become Jesus Freaks to free our souls from the effects of the law, while our bodies are freed at death.

And you find this stuff inspiring?

And you find this stuff inspiring?

In a word, yes. It sure sounds a lot better than anything else that I can see out there.

Slight Detour of the thread...
Hrowl, run, gowl at the full moon,
I can't get it right, I don't know why I try.
Soon the moon will be rising
Oh woe is the life of a were wolf.

My were friends all laugh, think it's a lark,
to joke of a were wolf afraid of the dark.
But this little were wolf was mugged in the park.
Oh woe is the life of a were wolf

This is song by Leslie Fish ( IIRC ) done sometime in the late 70's early 80's. I haven't hear it in years and am probably mangling it badly.Yeah!... Glad to know there is another Leslie Fish fan out there!

Ok, back to the main line of the thread... sorry for the detour.

If you can't get over the wall go around it.[/fortune cookie bs]

If you feel that the good you do working in a hospital is not enough to out weigh the bad you feel then it isn't worth going. Find something else that you can do that will keep you happy.

If you can't get over the wall go around it.[/fortune cookie bs]

If you feel that the good you do working in a hospital is not enough to out weigh the bad you feel then it isn't worth going. Find something else that you can do that will keep you happy.Don't get me wrong OE, I love my job. I feel that keeping this place running is a positive contribution. But lets face it, Hospitals are full of sick people. And my role in things is removed from the actual direct caring for them. I see them and I can't help. At least not directly. Sometimes it just depresses you a bit.

Don't get me wrong OE, I love my job. I feel that keeping this place running is a positive contribution. But lets face it, Hospitals are full of sick people. And my role in things is removed from the actual direct caring for them. I see them and I can't help. At least not directly. Sometimes it just depresses you a bit.

I think we as humans are incapable of facing death as a reality on a regular basis. We compartmentolise it as a theoretical possibility but once we actually perceive its real existence it fucks us up mentally. Those who actually grasp death as a tangible thing cannot truly cope with life until they develop mechanisms to deal with the reality of death.

Erm, in my drunken state, that means on one level I understand what you are going through, but I cannot truly understand it and am glad I cannot.

I think we as humans are incapable of facing death as a reality on a regular basis. We compartmentolise it as a theoretical possibility but once we actually perceive its real existence it fucks us up mentally. Those who actually grasp death as a tangible thing cannot truly cope with life until they develop mechanisms to deal with the reality of death.

Erm, in my drunken state, that means on one level I understand what you are going through, but I cannot truly understand it and am glad I cannot.

I just love comptemplating how my consciousness is going to be snuffed out, and I have been praticing. I beleive a practice of dying is a good way to develop those mechanism you are talking about.

Don't get me wrong OE, I love my job. I feel that keeping this place running is a positive contribution. But lets face it, Hospitals are full of sick people. And my role in things is removed from the actual direct caring for them. I see them and I can't help. At least not directly. Sometimes it just depresses you a bit.

Well since there's nothing I can really say or do that would help at all I'll just say that despite not having any experience like yours I sympathize and hope things work out.