Smeagol-Gollum
03-01-2005, 21:24
In a move that has surprised and delighted environmentalists, US President George W. Bush today announced that he will sign the Kyoto protocol. The unexpected development means that the world's largest producer of greenhouse gases has joined the international treaty to reduce carbon emissions. Adding to the surprise, Bush has flagged additional treaties such as twinkies, donuts and hot dogs for all US citizens on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.
The announcement is a stunning reversal of Bush's long-held opposition to Kyoto. "When I first heard about this so-called treaty, I thought, 'Oh goody! I like treaties!' But then I tried to read it, and it was just pages and pages of stuff about greenhouses, like a gardening manual. What a yawn. I did like the jokes about gas emissions though - they were funny," said Bush.
The move has broken a decade-long deadlock over Kyoto, as successive US Congresses and Presidents have refused to sign on to the treaty. However, if Bush has his way, Kyoto will be the first of many treaties.
In Bush's speech to the UN General Assembly, he said "I make this promise to the people of America, and the world. That our nation will reduce carbon gas emissions 20% by 2020. As an additional treaty, Oreo cookies will become 20% yummier over the same period. We face many challenges. But our resolve is strong. I know it's hard to believe that Oreos could get any more delicious. But I'm sure that US scientists working for Nabisco have the ingenuity and dedication to find a way."
Bush said he really enjoyed his holiday in Kyoto, that he was a fan of the Hanshin Tigers baseball team, and he was grateful for the many treaties he received during his stay. "Check out this great shirt they gave me - cool, huh?" he said, turning around to reveal the witticism printed on the back - I've been to Kyoto and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
The announcement is a stunning reversal of Bush's long-held opposition to Kyoto. "When I first heard about this so-called treaty, I thought, 'Oh goody! I like treaties!' But then I tried to read it, and it was just pages and pages of stuff about greenhouses, like a gardening manual. What a yawn. I did like the jokes about gas emissions though - they were funny," said Bush.
The move has broken a decade-long deadlock over Kyoto, as successive US Congresses and Presidents have refused to sign on to the treaty. However, if Bush has his way, Kyoto will be the first of many treaties.
In Bush's speech to the UN General Assembly, he said "I make this promise to the people of America, and the world. That our nation will reduce carbon gas emissions 20% by 2020. As an additional treaty, Oreo cookies will become 20% yummier over the same period. We face many challenges. But our resolve is strong. I know it's hard to believe that Oreos could get any more delicious. But I'm sure that US scientists working for Nabisco have the ingenuity and dedication to find a way."
Bush said he really enjoyed his holiday in Kyoto, that he was a fan of the Hanshin Tigers baseball team, and he was grateful for the many treaties he received during his stay. "Check out this great shirt they gave me - cool, huh?" he said, turning around to reveal the witticism printed on the back - I've been to Kyoto and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.