NationStates Jolt Archive

I have noticed that girls seem to rather dislike. I don't mind being disliked...but it does get rather lonly. Maybe some of you fine upstandig people can tell me how to get into better graces with the oposite sex without changing my calous unsensitive nature.

without changing my calous unsensitive nature.

Therein lies the problem

I have noticed that girls seem to rather dislike. I don't mind being disliked...but it does get rather lonly. Maybe some of you fine upstandig people can tell me how to get into better graces with the oposite sex without changing my calous unsensitive nature.

Find a callous insensitive bitch

wth did you say

and save a puppy from a tree

Therein lies the problem

ah but if the person can't accept me for me why bother

Find a callous insensitive bitch

thanx for the suggestion pal go soak your head

Maybe posting my problem on the forum was a mistake

I have noticed that girls seem to rather dislike. I don't mind being disliked...but it does get rather lonly. Maybe some of you fine upstandig people can tell me how to get into better graces with the oposite sex without changing my calous unsensitive nature.
Join the Domination/submission crowd and look for your very own submissive. So far as I can tell, this may be your only way out! Heh!

Maybe posting my problem on the forum was a mistake
what was your first clue

Join the Domination/submission crowd and look for your very own submissive. So far as I can tell, this may be your only way out! Heh!

:upyours:

what was your first clue

the crap answers im getting

the crap answers im getting
english isnt your first language is it

Well - I've been with my current gf now for over two years, and we've been through rough patches and times of total bliss. In a relationship, you can't just take - it's got to be an equal mixture of give and take.

I've had to make concessions, and so has Hannah - it's about finding that balance. It is very rare that you find someone who matches your personality exactly, and it makes for very boring conversations if you do. I've had to change who I am inside a little bit, yes - but I don't regret it.

I live with one of the most fantastic people in the world (yes, everyone in relationships thinks the same thing). She's beautiful, smart, caring, considerate - and we have so much in common.

It is our differences though that make us stronger.

BLack - I would recommend you look deeply within yourself and decide if you like what you see and if it is who you truly want to be. If you enjoy being callous and inconsiderate, then fine - but you won't find many girls that will stick around tbh.

Girls, or so I've found, love a guy who looks out for them and will always be there for them. I'm always there for Hannah - and consequently, we have a great relationship.

You've got to be more accomodating in your approach towards them.

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?

ah but if the person can't accept me for me why bother

People do change all the time, sometimes for the better. This can apply to anyone, including you. Why should anyone accept an abusive bastard, anyway?

However, being a nice guy isn't enough to attract most girls. I can understand this, since "niceness" isn't my own top priority in them, either. They like a guy whose company they can enjoy. If you can conceal your callous personality under a facade and be simply charming, you should do well.

english isnt your first language is it

actualy it is but im finding it hard to adapt to the vernacular of the U.S. birtish english is so much better

Well - I've been with my current gf now for over two years, and we've been through rough patches and times of total bliss. In a relationship, you can't just take - it's got to be an equal mixture of give and take.

I've had to make concessions, and so has Hannah - it's about finding that balance. It is very rare that you find someone who matches your personality exactly, and it makes for very boring conversations if you do. I've had to change who I am inside a little bit, yes - but I don't regret it.

I live with one of the most fantastic people in the world (yes, everyone in relationships thinks the same thing). She's beautiful, smart, caring, considerate - and we have so much in common.

It is our differences though that make us stronger.

BLack - I would recommend you look deeply within yourself and decide if you like what you see and if it is who you truly want to be. If you enjoy being callous and inconsiderate, then fine - but you won't find many girls that will stick around tbh.

Girls, or so I've found, love a guy who looks out for them and will always be there for them. I'm always there for Hannah - and consequently, we have a great relationship.

You've got to be more accomodating in your approach towards them.

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?

17 why?

actualy it is but im finding it hard to adapt to the vernacular of the U.S. birtish english is so much better
wow, your really off then if i cant tell your first language is english, ive understood people better with english as a second language, and they live in europe.

how old are you -_-

edit: nm

:upyours:
Dude! That was a serious suggestion! :headbang:

Dude! That was a serious suggestion! :headbang:

I dont want someone thats going toto just roll over and take it i want someone that i can have an invigerating conversation with

17 why?

If, at 17, you haven't had a girlfriend - then something is wrong. Perhaps it is your 'callous uncaring attitude' you mentioned in your first post?

Sort that out, then try again with the girls :)

Trust me

I dont want someone thats going toto just roll over and take it i want someone that i can have an invigerating conversation with
haha you'll give up that hope soon

got to go. go ahead and make fun of me to your hearts content

haha you'll give up that hope soon

Don't be so negative! I have great conversations with my gf! She's one of the few people I can really talk to!

If, at 17, you haven't had a girlfriend - then something is wrong. Perhaps it is your 'callous uncaring attitude' you mentioned in your first post?

Sort that out, then try again with the girls :)

Trust me

Thanx

What is this dr phill ? :P just Kidding ) any who tag .

got to go. go ahead and make fun of me to your hearts content

I'm not making fun of you - gah! I'm trying to help you!

Matey, I've been with my gf for 3 years, I know what I'm talking about - and so does everyone else here in a relationship. Take our advice, and lose the attitude :)

I dont want someone thats going toto just roll over and take it i want someone that i can have an invigerating conversation with
Um ... that requires mutual respect and some give and take, not things you seem to have a very good grip on at this point. No offense, just seems to be the case to me based on what little I know about you.

The reason that girls don't seem to like you is that you seem to use "you should accept me for who I am or you're not worth my time" as an excuse to be a callous, insensitive person. No girl seeking a lasting, meaningful relationship will want to be with someone who is unwilling to take the time/make the effort to make her life more fulfilling. Change, or join a monastery. It's your choice.

actualy it is but im finding it hard to adapt to the vernacular of the U.S. birtish english is so much better

thats because it is the original and the best. We aussies know what not to change.

If you like a certain girl in particular, treat her well. give her a flower or a few every day or two if you think she will like it. it should work well. or freak her out if she doesn't like you......but you hopefully can spot the difference.

thats because it is the original and the best. We aussies know what not to change.

If you like a certain girl in particular, treat her well. give her a flower or a few every day or two if you think she will like it. it should work well. or freak her out if she doesn't like you......but you hopefully can spot the difference.
I hope you don't mind me saying so, but I wouldn't recommend flowers every day. From what I hear, it can get a little creepy, and it also becomes hard to tell when you can stop the flowers and start paying the rent again.

thats because it is the original and the best. We aussies know what not to change.

If you like a certain girl in particular, treat her well. give her a flower or a few every day or two if you think she will like it. it should work well. or freak her out if she doesn't like you......but you hopefully can spot the difference.

Get to know a girl really well first though, talk to her - even it is just 'Hi' in the corridor at school.

Also - buying flowers is an incredibly personal thing to do; all girls have their preferences - my gf happens to like pink roses (god its expensive) - so she always gets a bouquet (sp?) on her birthday - and on any other special occasion.
Trust me, they love stuff like that ;)

I dont want someone thats going toto just roll over and take it i want someone that i can have an invigerating conversation with



Jesus, your picky arn't you.

You have your work cut out for you then.



Girls like that are in high demand.

Why not just work with what you have?

Like me, my unique situation(....wich is shared by most of the people I know, but anyhow) gets me around, cause I play it and don't long for more.

Play the cards you have.

Jesus, your picky arn't you.

You have your work cut out for you then.



Girls like that are in high demand.

Why not just work with what you have?

Like me, my unique situation(....wich is shared by most of the people I know, but anyhow) gets me around, cause I play it and don't long for more.

Play the cards you have.
Yup. Can't catch a quality fish with crappy bait.

I could give you pages of advice, but that will just bore you and you will probably here it from others anyway.

Just a couple tips.

Money and power, big turn ons for the ladies(in my experience anyway, well, most of the time. There all different, those women are, it boggles the mind.....)

If your realize that the girl just is completly not interested and wants you to leave her alone, leave her alone.

Never mess with someone elses women, espicially someone connected.

Don't complain or wallow in self pity, don't bitch about your life, don't pity yourself to much, and just try to be happy.

That's pretty much all the one line tips I got.


You are Jamaican, right?

Yup. Can't catch a quality fish with crappy bait.


That's right.

girls are crazy, dont find them, they'll find you

If strPerson<>strHate then

lblCaption.caption=There is only several ways
lblCaption2.caption="1) Force"
lblCaption3.caption="2) Ask if they like you"
lblCaption4.caption="3) Subliminal Messaging"
lblCaption5.caption="4) Give up"
lblCaption6.caption="5) Conquer the country they are in and as the over lord you could tell them to do whatever you want"
lblCaption7.caption="6) Want ads"
lblCaption8.caption="7) Be known to do nice deeds"
lblCaption9.caption="8) Be yourself"
lblCaptionNumberafternine.caption="9) Don't insult any ethnic group, religion and/or practice while agreeing with whatever you say"

If strperson=strevil then msgbox"follow 1,3,5"
elseif strperson=strnice then msgbox"follow 2,7,9"
elseIf strperson=strindividualist then msgbox "follow 8"
Else
msgbox"follow 4"
endif

'I am not responsible for your actions or if you do anything illegal
'This probably won't work

That's right.
you never been fishing?

you CAN catch quality fish with crappy bait, you CANT catch fish with completely wrong bait

you never been fishing?

you CAN catch quality fish with crappy bait, you CANT catch fish with completely wrong bait


It's a metaphor

If you want cheap advice go to a chat room. building a relationship is hard work. most of the time. especially if you want a person to have a good hard long chat with.

It's a metaphor
its a bad metaphor

If you want cheap advice go to a chat room. building a relationship is hard work. most of the time. especially if you want a person to have a good hard long chat with.


that's true too

its a bad metaphor



no, YOU think it's a bad metaphor.

wow, talk about a hot topic....even if it is lame.

wow, talk about a hot topic....even if it is lame.


yah...lame

If the majority of girls don't like you, take a deep look inside yourself and think about why. Girls aren't a seperate species here; there's (usually) a reason why they don't like someone.

Being a callous, insensitive bastard is probably a pretty good reason to not like you. You see, the trick is to cover that callous insensitivity with a thin, caring, understanding layer. The ladies go all in for that sort of thing, and once you reveal that crunchy callous core, they'll try to change you and be on you like a fatty on a cupcake!

Please don't take that second paragraph seriously.

If you do, I'll... yeah, threats over the internet are pretty retarded. Yeah. Just don't.

If, at 17, you haven't had a girlfriend - then something is wrong.

Eeehm... bull. I know plenty of people that didn't have a relationship till in their twenties. Contrary to what MTV and several teenmagazines suggest you're not 'abnormal' if you haven't at least f*cked thirty-seven people in a variety of positions before your 18th birthday.

That does however not mean that your attitude is not a major part. You say you wish to have an equal partner, one that you can have a conversation with, yet also remain a callous unsensitive... well.. man ;-) Where exactly do you notice things go wrong with girls ? Do you actually act as if they are equals or do you treat them like they are less ? Do you listen if one tries to talk to you ? Do you try to talk with them ?
Just some basic questions.

Aside: a real sub will not "roll over and take it" unless you've proven to her you're worth obeying.

Aside: a real sub will not "roll over and take it" unless you've proven to her you're worth obeying.

Dare I ask how exactly you came across this information? :o

Dare I ask how exactly you came across this information? :o
No :p

I have noticed that girls seem to rather dislike. I don't mind being disliked...but it does get rather lonly. Maybe some of you fine upstandig people can tell me how to get into better graces with the oposite sex without changing my calous unsensitive nature.

So you said you're 17.

Listen, at your age (and mine, really), Girls are every bit as stupid as guys, just in different ways. A truly serious relationship is almost impossible, so don't bother. Just aim for a "fun" one.

Your best chance isn't getting to know a girl really well before asking them out. That just spoils otherwise good friendships (and I know :() Go to social outings and flirt with girls you don't know- it's a lot easier and you have nothing to lose from rejection.

Oh yeah, and if you just want to get laid with the hottest girl you can find, don't bother either, because that's only a recipe for trouble. Socks are cheaper anyways.

(Owning a car and playing sports will boost your success rate though, and you'll be able to easily able to keep that callous insensitive nature of yours)

Try this forum if you're in HS

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/forumdisplay.php?f=18

just a suggestion

Try this forum if you're in HS

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/forumdisplay.php?f=18

just a suggestion

That would be a funny forum to spam. But no, *resists temptation*

ah but if the person can't accept me for me why bother

There's no such thing as an inherant nature of any human being, humans can, and do, change most if not all of their persona over their lifetime.

But in any case, there's nothing wrong with being a callous, insensitive bastard per se. There are indeed women who will go for that (www.tuckermax.com). Question is, are you an interesting callous insensitive bastard?

I can't say that I'm a master of love or anything, but at 17, you don't really need to be. In the long run, any relationship you get into now will more than likely fizzle out within a year after graduation. It's just inevitable. Only about 1% of high school sweethearts actually end up getting married, and the one's I've met cheat on each other. It's pathetic, really.
Anyway, any girl who is 17, from what I've seen in my area of the world, has one of a few qualities. She might be that girl who gets that goofy smile on her face every time the boy and girl kiss at the end of a romantic comedy, secretly wishing that was her. She might be the girl that thinks that because guys "read" Playboy, that means that they only want girls who act like porn stars. So they get fake IDs, go to clubs, get stupid drunk, and start making out with their friends because to them, that's going to find them a guy who wants a lasting relationship. Last time I checked that's going to get them a one night stand with a sailor who doesn't call, and a painful walk of shame the next morning. There are also the girls who are just a bit out there, maybe perfect for you Black, but I'm not really sure because I don't know you personally. These girls are a bit like the first that I spoke of. They are the ones that watch these movies and secretly get all gooey inside when the happy ending comes. But they are, in effect, the girl next door. You probably have a class with her, and she's probably not a member of the "Barbie" Girls at your school. She is probably pretty, but no one really notices, because she probably has this personality that is to die for. She isn't popular, isn't a nerd. She just likes everyone, except probably the snooty tanorexic girls who bet on who can lose more weight. She won't be into that kind of thing. She, at 17, will most likely be a very good party date, and will more often than not end up being the life of the party. Not because she gets drunk and flashes everyone before passing out in a bush. But because she challenges the boys to a game of poker, and wins. Because she doesn't go to the party with you only to go flirt with another guy to see how jealous you'll get. Because she's the girl that doesn't care if you go out with your friends one night without her. Because she's that girl that may have a crap car and good grades, but she's the one person that always says hi to anyone she sees, and always says she's having a great day. In effect, she is the girl without drama. And, yes, dear, they do exist. They are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but there is a reason for that. These women are so hard to find because men never look for them. They go out to find a woman who will do for the night, and just hope it drags into a romance. You won't find her that way. She will be the one to thank you for dinner, and not expect you to call. If you do, great, but trust me, she won't be sitting by the phone. As for the "callous, insensitive" nature, well, at 17, I can hardly think of anything that could have you "callous" that young. Especially if you never have had a girlfriend. No one has hurt you to make you callous toward others. Maybe it was an incorrect word choice? As far as insensitive, that is something that will land you one, and only one, type of woman. The classic psycho. She thrives on attention, and when you don't give it to her (which she hopes you won't) she will yell and scream and throw things at you to MAKE you notice her. I don't think those are the "nice conversations" you are looking for. Now please don't listen to these boys on here telling you to cover up your insensitive side until later. We women have a word for this. It is your "representative." You go out, use your best lines and manners and land yourself a chick who doesn't know any better, and your representative plays on her for six months. She is blissfully happy until you come along and she realizes that she's been dating a loser in disguise. Don't be that guy. That's why all those rejects never figure it out when their woman is so happy then one day she just stops answering the phone. Hmm...I wonder. I suggest instead not to completely change yourself, but realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. You need to show compassion for others, and being "Billy Badass" just doesn't cut it with a real woman. I think you should really get to the root of your insensitivity and do something about whatever caused it. All I'm saying is find a girl like I mentioned above, and you'll not feel like you do now. You will, I assure you, come to understand that this woman is different, and you will WANT to be a better person. Not because she asked you to, but because she is a better person and you want to be like that. And learn the power of "just because." Send her a flower just because you were thinking of her, no holiday attached, and you've got a great night ahead of you. Ok well sorry this is so long, just thought you might need to know the basics. Hope all works out for you.

All I'm saying is find a girl like I mentioned above, and you'll not feel like you do now. You will, I assure you, come to understand that this woman is different, and you will WANT to be a better person. Not because she asked you to, but because she is a better person and you want to be like that. And learn the power of "just because." Send her a flower just because you were thinking of her, no holiday attached, and you've got a great night ahead of you. Ok well sorry this is so long, just thought you might need to know the basics. Hope all works out for you.
Navagosta has given you some very, very good, and free advice here. I strongly suggest you print this page out and paste it to your mirror so you can read it every day. All of us wish you well. :)

i actually read most of that then realised it was one paragraph and quit

i actually read most of that then realised it was one paragraph and quit
You might want to read the whole thing then. She ( he? ) did a really good job. :)

In Reply to #54

Very wonderful advice, and I couldn't agree more, but I'm guessing that the "Enter" key is one of the least used buttons on your keyboard...

I have noticed that girls seem to rather dislike. I don't mind being disliked...but it does get rather lonly. Maybe some of you fine upstandig people can tell me how to get into better graces with the oposite sex without changing my calous unsensitive nature.
this is quite simple
be callous and insensitive to other people but make them think you're kidding
and learn proper grammar

I have noticed that girls seem to rather dislike. I don't mind being disliked...but it does get rather lonly. Maybe some of you fine upstandig people can tell me how to get into better graces with the oposite sex without changing my calous unsensitive nature.

Waitaminute... you're callous and insensitive and you DON'T get the girls? It's a sign of the End Times! :(

Waitaminute... you're callous and insensitive and you DON'T get the girls? It's a sign of the End Times! :(

werd brotha!

All I'm saying is find a girl like I mentioned above, and you'll not feel like you do now. You will, I assure you, come to understand that this woman is different, and you will WANT to be a better person. Not because she asked you to, but because she is a better person and you want to be like that. And learn the power of "just because." Send her a flower just because you were thinking of her, no holiday attached, and you've got a great night ahead of you. Ok well sorry this is so long, just thought you might need to know the basics. Hope all works out for you.
what the fuck is this shit?

You guys killed my thread!!!

If, at 17, you haven't had a girlfriend - then something is wrong. Perhaps it is your 'callous uncaring attitude' you mentioned in your first post?

Sort that out, then try again with the girls :)

Trust me

I really don't see anything wrong with that. I don't plan to date until I'm actually ready to get married, because it seems like there's just too much stress and emotional turmoil involved, and, at 15, it's rather pointless. Is there anything wrong with me not planning on having a boyfriend until I'm around 22? :confused:

You want a hint on how to get along with girls? Don't ask a bunch of guys online for help.

I really don't see anything wrong with that. I don't plan to date until I'm actually ready to get married, because it seems like there's just too much stress and emotional turmoil involved, and, at 15, it's rather pointless. Is there anything wrong with me not planning on having a boyfriend until I'm around 22? :confused:
Sounds like a solid plan to me; I wouldn't worry about "wrong" or "right;" unless you're the editor for Cosmo, romantic timetables have little practical use.

Oy, back from Texas! As a complete stranger who knows absolutely nothing about you, your nation (Black 13), or your nation's leader (Lord Mordoc), I would guess that you've found the dark underbelly of the forums, where the well-known posters alternate between helpfulness and humorous scorn. I'm one of the former, by the way.

Though I am a stranger, as mentioned above, I see the real problem with posting your troubles on the forums: You didn't paint the whole (or even correct) picture. You described your nature as callous and insensitive, which is no doubt how you wish to be perceived, but also not who you really are. If I knew you, which I don't, I'd likely see that you are the sort who strives to look evil and dark, both physically and in your personality, but who is truly blessed with a generous, honorable, and noble soul.

Based on this completely random and baseless assessment, my recommendation would be...

Find a traditional Japanese or even Chinese girl (other Southeast Asian nationalities might work, too) who will love you for your true personality, yet also understand and even adore the facade (supposed to be an accent in there, but I'm not sure how to do it) that you show to the world.

Find a traditional Japanese or even Chinese girl (other Southeast Asian nationalities might work, too) who will love you for your true personality, yet also understand and even adore the facade (supposed to be an accent in there, but I'm not sure how to do it) that you show to the world.


Asiaphile!
Why would you suggest those ethnicities in particular? :rolleyes:
Is it because you've been bought into the Hollywood stereotype that asian women are demure, submissive, always sexually available, and make good housewives?

Well, I'm 15, and I'd like to have a relationship--nothing serious, but I don't wanna wait until i'm 22 to get involved with a guy. I mean, I haven't even dated yet. It's getting sort of annoying, especially with the social pressure.

I was born and raised in san Antonio, Texas, but people often ask me if I spent any time in Great Britain. ;) Perhaps it's because I've known my London-raised girlfriend for so long.

Honestly, the best advice that I can give you is to "keep your options open" - yes, keep them open; don't assume that you must conform your personality to better fit that of any girl, thus falsely validating your emotional status (and/or her's!).

I assure you that the "wait for the right person to come along" method is the very best for romantical pleasure - now if you're not looking for that, then I would suggest that you avoid making any long-term emotional commitments until you feel absolutely sure about it (in other words, take it easy) and, instead, focus on your ability to "attract attention." This includes dressing well, acting as though you are interested in what she's saying, being witty and having a good sense of humor, etc., etc.

Originally Posted by Ooger
Asiaphile!
Why would you suggest those ethnicities in particular?
Is it because you've been bought into the Hollywood stereotype that asian women are demure, submissive, always sexually available, and make good housewives?
Um, I'm in love with an American (mostly Irish heritage) girl, though we both are anime fans, as well as fans of real Japanese culture. (So, I'm not a literal Asiaphile, but we do really like Asian cultures and history.)

And as I stated, I suggested a "traditional" girl. The main reason is, yes, that she would theoretically be a good wife (not necessarily the stay-at-home kind, but what "housewife" really does?), but also as an inside joke (because I have some in-depth knowledge of Black 13's dealings with women). It was not because of a belief that they would be demure (yet to meet one), submissive (isn't necessary for compatibility with Black 13), or sexually available (no safe comment for this one).

Of course, I have no acquaintance with Black 13, so what would I know. ;)

there's nothing wrong with dating at 15. my uncle and aunty, married for 30 years, first started going out when they were 17. some like to wait though.it depends on you. and anyway its not that hard to get a girl, just be a nice guy, dont be mean to them, dont be sexist, dont be timid, but dont be foreceful, care about what they say and think and like i say just be nice. :-)

Find a traditional Japanese or even Chinese girl (other Southeast Asian nationalities might work, too) who will love you for your true personality, yet also understand and even adore the facade (supposed to be an accent in there, but I'm not sure how to do it) that you show to the world.
It's "façade." The special character's ALT-135, if memory serves.

In response to #54 - don't trust people who give advise using such daft stereotypes. It's a sign they haven't the foggiest idea what they're talking about, and are obviously looking for shortcuts.

Get to know as many gir;s as you possibly can - take up new activeties, get out more, join groups. The more girls you meet, the more chance you have of meeting someone you can relate to.

Originally Posted by Aligned Planets
If, at 17, you haven't had a girlfriend - then something is wrong.

In defence of those of us at 17 who haven't had a relationship yet, some of us just haven't found the right person yet.

(Well, that's my excuse anyway.)

This is good enough to clean up.

I can't say that I'm a master of love or anything, but at 17, you don't really need to be. In the long run, any relationship you get into now will more than likely fizzle out within a year after graduation. It's just inevitable. Only about 1% of high school sweethearts actually end up getting married, and the one's I've met cheat on each other. It's pathetic, really.

Anyway, any girl who is 17, from what I've seen in my area of the world, has one of a few qualities. She might be that girl who gets that goofy smile on her face every time the boy and girl kiss at the end of a romantic comedy, secretly wishing that was her.

She might be the girl that thinks that because guys "read" Playboy, that means that they only want girls who act like porn stars. So they get fake IDs, go to clubs, get stupid drunk, and start making out with their friends because to them, that's going to find them a guy who wants a lasting relationship. Last time I checked that's going to get them a one night stand with a sailor who doesn't call, and a painful walk of shame the next morning.

There are also the girls who are just a bit out there, maybe perfect for you Black, but I'm not really sure because I don't know you personally. These girls are a bit like the first that I spoke of.

They are the ones that watch these movies and secretly get all gooey inside when the happy ending comes. But they are, in effect, the girl next door. You probably have a class with her, and she's probably not a member of the "Barbie" Girls at your school. She is probably pretty, but no one really notices, because she probably has this personality that is to die for.

She isn't popular, isn't a nerd. She just likes everyone, except probably the snooty tanorexic girls who bet on who can lose more weight. She won't be into that kind of thing. She, at 17, will most likely be a very good party date, and will more often than not end up being the life of the party. Not because she gets drunk and flashes everyone before passing out in a bush. But because she challenges the boys to a game of poker, and wins. Because she doesn't go to the party with you only to go flirt with another guy to see how jealous you'll get. Because she's the girl that doesn't care if you go out with your friends one night without her. Because she's that girl that may have a crap car and good grades, but she's the one person that always says hi to anyone she sees, and always says she's having a great day. In effect, she is the girl without drama.

And, yes, dear, they do exist. They are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but there is a reason for that. These women are so hard to find because men never look for them. They go out to find a woman who will do for the night, and just hope it drags into a romance.

You won't find her that way. She will be the one to thank you for dinner, and not expect you to call. If you do, great, but trust me, she won't be sitting by the phone.

As for the "callous, insensitive" nature, well, at 17, I can hardly think of anything that could have you "callous" that young. Especially if you never have had a girlfriend.

No one has hurt you to make you callous toward others. Maybe it was an incorrect word choice?

As far as insensitive, that is something that will land you one, and only one, type of woman. The classic psycho. She thrives on attention, and when you don't give it to her (which she hopes you won't) she will yell and scream and throw things at you to MAKE you notice her. I don't think those are the "nice conversations" you are looking for.

Now please don't listen to these boys on here telling you to cover up your insensitive side until later. We women have a word for this. It is your "representative." You go out, use your best lines and manners and land yourself a chick who doesn't know any better, and your representative plays on her for six months. She is blissfully happy until you come along and she realizes that she's been dating a loser in disguise. Don't be that guy. That's why all those rejects never figure it out when their woman is so happy then one day she just stops answering the phone. Hmm...I wonder.

I suggest instead not to completely change yourself, but realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. You need to show compassion for others, and being "Billy Badass" just doesn't cut it with a real woman. I think you should really get to the root of your insensitivity and do something about whatever caused it.

All I'm saying is find a girl like I mentioned above, and you'll not feel like you do now. You will, I assure you, come to understand that this woman is different, and you will WANT to be a better person. Not because she asked you to, but because she is a better person and you want to be like that. And learn the power of "just because." Send her a flower just because you were thinking of her, no holiday attached, and you've got a great night ahead of you.

Ok well sorry this is so long, just thought you might need to know the basics. Hope all works out for you.

Find a traditional Japanese or even Chinese girl (other Southeast Asian nationalities might work, too) who will love you for your true personality, yet also understand and even adore the facade (supposed to be an accent in there, but I'm not sure how to do it) that you show to the world.

:headbang:

Wanna by a bridge, New Exodus?

In my many years of messing up relationships I have learned one thing JUST DO WHATEVER YOU ARE TOLD. :headbang:








{To be surrounded by idiots and to know I am the King.}

Alright, BLack has made little comments about everyone's advice given, thus far.

However, I'll give my best advice anyway:

You're 17 -- Searching for a relationship at that age shouldn't be something you should worry about. I've been there. Emotionally, it's a terrible age. Take care of yourself instead of looking for someone to take care of you.

Searching Never Works -- Every time I've searched for a girl, I've never found one. Strangely, they seem to fall into your lap, - so to speak - very unexpectedly.

Personality -- Your "mean" personality doesn't matter, unless you're abusive.
If you're smart and callous, it's attractive in a way. If you're just dumb and callous, you might as well shack up with a girl named "Lynette" and move into a trailer park (no offense to those of you living in a trailer). Intellect and personality often overshadow things sometimes seen as "negative" attributes.

Foreign-born -- I was born in Salzburg, Austria and moved to the U.S. when I was about a year old. A lot of girls find the whole "foreigner" thing to be attractive (don't ask me why; I don't know). Work with that. It's gotten me more poozie on the weekends than most people get in 4 months.

Being Callous -- Be kind at first, with slight undertones of that callousness. Having a bit of a callous personality (I have one myself), can be attractive to an extent. Although, you must learn the difference between being callous and flatout mean. No one likes that.
---------------------------------------------------------------

To be honest, women will find you. If you look for a certain kind of person, you will NEVER find her. I promise you. It took me years to learn it, and it's still harder to practice it - even to this day.

Also, once you get with a girl, never become so attached that you let her manipulate you. It's hard to pick up on, but you learn quickly, if you're smart.

There's my advice.

- Tomas K.

Question: Which is the more attractive, callousness or cynicism?

Question: Which is the more attractive, callousness or cynicism?

Cynicism.

All I can say is: Mail order?

All I can say is: Mail order?

lol

I hear there's an inflatable line of guys and girls that are very effective...maybe one of the Storefronts sells them?

Um, I'm in love with an American (mostly Irish heritage) girl, though we both are anime fans, as well as fans of real Japanese culture. (So, I'm not a literal Asiaphile, but we do really like Asian cultures and history.)

And as I stated, I suggested a "traditional" girl. The main reason is, yes, that she would theoretically be a good wife (not necessarily the stay-at-home kind, but what "housewife" really does?), but also as an inside joke (because I have some in-depth knowledge of Black 13's dealings with women). It was not because of a belief that they would be demure (yet to meet one), submissive (isn't necessary for compatibility with Black 13), or sexually available (no safe comment for this one).

Of course, I have no acquaintance with Black 13, so what would I know. ;)

i just wanted to bring up...since i fit into the "traditional" asian girl category you've stated, and have been exposed to asian (filipino, chinese, japanese, vietnamese) cultures and having witnessed it both in asia and in canada...the notion that asian women will make better wives than any other ethnicity is not entirely accurate. what i have noticed though is that on the public's point of view, generally but not all cases, asian women will allow the public to have the impression that the male counterpart has more power. but in the private sphere, the women are outright in control of money, of the family's schedule, etc. ...which isn't a claim that such a situation is limited to relationships with "traditional" asian women.


but in an attempt to redeem myself for ruining black13's thread, you're only option is to determine by yourself if you're actually ready to be in a relationship because it takes work, time, patience...finding a relationship is like getting a job (at least that's how i view it sometimes).

first you look at what's available to choose from, if there's none then you look some more. go out, go to parties, start hanging out with friends and have them invite their friends, any social functions. when you do find one you're interested in, start research about the company...ie get to know the person just start talking to her, if you enjoy each other's company ask her to go for coffee or grab lunch together -- the purpose is not as a serious date but just to get to know each other on a more private setting, but not too private and make sure this meeting is limited time-wise just in case things don't work out (just like an interview). but if it does, then ask her out again...the rest is up to you.

getting a girl doesn't involve getting her flowers or being romantic all the time, it does require that you be nice at times though. but seriously, you're still only 17 you have a long way to go...i was 17 three years ago and it's rare to witness a couple in highschool that's actually in a serious relationship, most are just going out because they need ass or someone to constantly reassure them and go out with them to places...wait or are those the only actual purposes for a relationship? :eek:

i confused myself... :confused:

Join the Domination/submission crowd and look for your very own submissive. So far as I can tell, this may be your only way out! Heh!
Now that's just insulting. Most Doms I have met are actually nice, sensitive people, and only some subs like to be treated harshly within a scene. The last thing the (already misunderstood) D/s scene needs is more publicity labelling it as abusive, callous or cold. Please, if you must insult fetishes, insult your own.

actualy it is but im finding it hard to adapt to the vernacular of the U.S. birtish english is so much better
Ah, so you're from Birtain. :p

Asiaphile!
Why would you suggest those ethnicities in particular? :rolleyes:
Is it because you've been bought into the Hollywood stereotype that asian women are demure, submissive, always sexually available, and make good housewives?

Well, as much as those stereotypes are crap, Asian women are usually brought up under different social pressures. I like Asians because they're adorable, really nice, and don't go around screaming at each other in public like Americans tend to (generally speaking).

true
;)

Maybe the words of Jay-Z can help:

"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son; I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one."

Alright, I guess that doesn't help.

17? And you're worried about a relationship? Jeez, man, don't worry about it!
I'm 15, and here is what I have learned:

1Don't make an ass of yourself

2: Don't act creepy (ex. the ability to play Flight Of the Bumblebee on the kazoo and/or slide whistle is best kept to oneself/close friends/volunteering jobs at seniors residences)

3. Don't search too actively (you'll look like a wierdo, and probably be miserable while searching)

4. Don't be whiny, miserable or looking for self pity.

5. Be yourself. If she can't see through the act ( she most likely will) , one day you'll forget it, and she'll find out you're a liar

6. BE HONEST. But not too honest.

I'm afraid I must disagree - getting a girl is about getting her flowers and being romantic (almost) all the time! If not, she will constantly complain to you that you don't do it.

Try Eharmony.com

Of all the people one could ask, why the forum goers? Did you expect to not get a smart-alecky answer?

Maybe the words of Jay-Z can help:

"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son; I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one."

Alright, I guess that doesn't help.
Well, gee, that made me feel a whole lot better... :rolleyes:

Well, gee, that made me feel a whole lot better... :rolleyes:
Yeah, Jay-Z never was a good therapist.

this is quite simple
be callous and insensitive to other people but make them think you're kidding
and learn proper grammar
I HATE that type of "humour".

Foreign-born -- I was born in Salzburg, Austria and moved to the U.S. when I was about a year old. A lot of girls find the whole "foreigner" thing to be attractive (don't ask me why; I don't know). Work with that. It's gotten me more poozie on the weekends than most people get in 4 months.

Da über sex-machine, ja? ;)

You guys killed my thread

Actually, though the post about using good grammar and spelling might have seemed like humour, it wasn't.

Well, it wouldn't have been if I had made it, anyway.

People with good grammar and spelling are showing that they are reasonably intelligent and that they give a damn about other people's confort.

Personal hygiene goes a long way, too. Someone with brushed hair and white teeth will be more likely to get a second look than someone who smells and has last night's dinner all over their shirt.

Showing an interest in something a girl does can be a blessing - but only if you actually feel that interest - nothing turns most girls and women off like realising they've been lied to.

Just a couple of ideas.

Originally Posted by Hippo Fans
People with good grammar and spelling are showing that they are reasonably intelligent and that they give a damn about other people's confort.
Actually, Black's grammar problem is only with written material, since I've heard him quote Shakespeare word-for-word.

Originally Posted by Daistallia 2104
Wanna by a bridge, New Exodus?
Point taken, but it was meant as an inside joke with Black XIII. I guess I have yet to master posting humor.

But I’ll quit with the jokes, Black, since there are plenty here already. There have been tons of good suggestions left by posters here, and you can pick from any of them. We’ve discussed all this before, but I’d say that Navagosta has summed up my real position better than anyone else. It is that kind of thinking that blessed me with Crystal Ireland, and I know it can work for you. And though you and Crazed Marines don’t get along, he is in the same boat, and it might benefit both of you to talk.

P.S.
Actually, they haven't really killed the thread. If that were the case, hardly anyone would be posting, or the posts would be mindless hackneyed jokes. Since that hasn't happened yet, the thread is still alive and kicking. School here doesn't start for another week, so give me a call when you can, and I can give you CM's story. It might sound familiar...

Foreigners are SO adorable...although less so if English is their first language.

The vulnerability of broken english is the sweetest thing on earth.

Originally Posted by Hatikva
The vulnerability of broken english is the sweetest thing on earth.
I'm stuck in Alabama, and the people down here are quite proud of their broken english, for reasons I can't possibly fathom.

:upyours:


oh that's really attractive

don't be show-offy

You guys killed my thread

Gotta love 'em.