NationStates Jolt Archive

I know everyone has gotten a really bad fruitcake at least once or twice, and tried so damn hard to get rid of the thing....so....

Give me fun/amusing suggestions for getting rid of bad fruitcake

and

What the hell is in that shit?!

cut it into logs and make a lincoln log fruitcake house

I know everyone has gotten a really bad fruitcake at least once or twice, and tried so damn hard to get rid of the thing....so....

Give me suggestions for getting rid of bad fruitcake

and

What the hell is in that shit?!

Simple solution: Throw it out.

Complex and fun solution: slice it thin, dehydrate it and give it out as 'Silly Chips'! :)

Or make the ten-year old with fairies you babysit wrap them and give them to random people.

I've used a bad fruitcake for a hacky-sack once...playing 5-hit kill is NOT a good idea...*ow*

Send them to Bush and put the scientific name for some poison substance on the bottom of alist of ingredients. Also, make the return address:
Kim Jong Il
Pyongyang, North Korea

...or someone you hate.

Bear in mind thatyou will continue to get bad fruitcakes on a yearly basis - so your solution must accommodate this scenario.



Personally, I'm saving them up on a shelf in the storage room. I figure in about four more years I'll have enough of these little bricks to build a sturdy replacement for the shed in the back yard.

Stick them on (or if they're too hard, tie them to) an arrow, set them on fire, and shoot them into the side of the building across the street. Works for leftovers (www.planetavp.com, click on "Bob and Progg's World" in the far left sidebar under "Features," and you'll get the joke).

Stick them on (or if they're too hard, tie them to) an arrow, set them on fire, and shoot them into the side of the building across the street. Works for leftovers (www.planetavp.com, click on "Bob and Progg's World" in the far left sidebar under "Features," and you'll get the joke).


damn...that would be good for archery practice....

damn...that would be good for archery practice....

I doubt that a fruitcake has good aerodynamics. :D

Aerodynamics, no. Flammability? ...mebbe...

To ensure you will never see it again, fire it out of a cannon, into the sun.

To ensure you will never see it again, fire it out of a cannon, into the sun.
Preferably not at high noon between the tropics.

put a fuse inside it and use it as a powerful explosive.

put a fuse inside it and use it as a powerful explosive.
Ah, the MythBusters way? In that case, drill a hole and fill it with gunpowder first. But you should probably stand behind a blast screen; who knows how much shrapnel will bombard the area...

Ah, the MythBusters way? In that case, drill a hole and fill it with gunpowder first. But you should probably stand behind a blast screen; who knows how much shrapnel will bombard the area...

True. And don't forget the lethal fumes.

Doorstop, paperweight, stepping stone, brick replacement, starter log for a fireplace, football, ammunition for a potato gun......thee possibilities are endless.....

cut it into 10 pieces, drop it off a 50 story building so one piece lands behind someone and they turn around to see what they heard. Meanwhile the bums rush to get the food. Than you can just keep dropping it on the bums, and people will hear it hitting the bums and turn around! Loads of fun!

Eat it.

I know everyone has gotten a really bad fruitcake at least once or twice, and tried so damn hard to get rid of the thing....so....

Give me fun/amusing suggestions for getting rid of bad fruitcake

and

What the hell is in that shit?!
I got one this Christmas and sent it to a friend of mine who's currently stationed in Iraq. He uses it as body armor. :D

I doubt that a fruitcake has good aerodynamics. :D

I'm thinking I could use it to fill in the huge hole we've got in the middle of our old target,lol

Lets gather all the fruitcakes in the world and build a bridge between Europe and America.

Lets gather all the fruitcakes in the world and build a bridge between Europe and America.


Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! If we did that, all of the American dumbasses would meet the European dumbasses and procreate!! Then, we'd have over twice as many dumbasses. Definitely not good!

but we could make it a toll bridge and take care of the national debt....

but we could make it a toll bridge and take care of the national debt....


I'd rather maintain a marginal level of intelligence and be in debt than be out of debt and have two continents full of fucktards.

have two continents full of fucktards.

No offence, but I think both places are already there. :p (kidding)

No offence, but I think both places are already there. :p (kidding)


I think they are too, but I don't want to push the limits.