NationStates Jolt Archive


Can anyone me a half-decent crackpot theory...

Refused Party Program
30-12-2004, 20:47
...which blames earthquakes on terrorists?

Maybe someone in a government or press institution could use the post from this forum as a source for their evidence someday.
Drunk commies
30-12-2004, 20:48
Terrorists pray to Allah to cause earthquakes.
Peechland
30-12-2004, 20:49
I'm pretty sure theres a team of CIA agents assigned to monitor this website.

*looks over shoulder* :eek:
Superpower07
30-12-2004, 20:51
An earthquake generator, perhaps?
The Black Forrest
30-12-2004, 20:51
How about this.

The 9.0 earthquake is really a nuclear explosion underwater from one of the missing Iraqi Nukes that was acquired from either China or the old USSR.

The US an other powers don't want to announce it because it would cause fear!
Angry Fruit Salad
30-12-2004, 20:52
"half-decent" and "crackpot theory" don't belong in the same sentence.
Refused Party Program
30-12-2004, 20:53
How about this.

The 9.0 earthquake is really a nuclear explosion underwater from one of the missing Iraqi Nukes that was acquired from either China or the old USSR.

The US an other powers don't want to announce it because it would cause fear!

I'm liking this one so far. I think it needs a little fleshing out.
Milynna
30-12-2004, 20:53
I would go with sound waves--ultra condensed sound waves aimed at the crevises between the techtonic plates. Throw in enough science and you can make it sound plausible.
Los Banditos
30-12-2004, 20:53
...which blames earthquakes on terrorists?

Maybe someone in a government or press institution could use the post from this forum as a source for their evidence someday.
What about ones that blame Bush?
Refused Party Program
30-12-2004, 20:53
"half-decent" and "crackpot theory" don't belong in the same sentence.

Sure they do...you just did it. ;)
Dontgonearthere
30-12-2004, 20:54
They used that ray-crystal that Bush's ancestors used to destablize the planet.
Angry Fruit Salad
30-12-2004, 20:55
Sure they do...you just did it. ;)

damn. I hate it when I do that.
Peechland
30-12-2004, 20:55
What about ones that blame Bush?

Cause blaming a Tsunami on one person makes good sense. :rolleyes:
Los Banditos
30-12-2004, 20:57
Cause blaming a Tsunami on one person makes good sense. :rolleyes:
It is the same thing as trying to think up theories that blame terrorists.
East Canuck
30-12-2004, 20:57
Here goes my first draft:

The suicide bombing in Irak made by the terrorists are shaking the tectonic plates under the middle east and the Indian ocean. The constant shaking put enough pressure on the joint where the two tectonic plates merge to move them. It caused an earthquake and an ensuing tsunami.

Therefore we can say that, without the shadow of a doubt, the terrorists are responsible for the earthquake.
Willamena
30-12-2004, 20:57
...which blames earthquakes on terrorists?

Maybe someone in a government or press institution could use the post from this forum as a source for their evidence someday.
A terrorist flaps his arms, and somewhere in Central Park the earth trembles.

Chaos theory. :-)
Erehwon Forest
30-12-2004, 20:59
/me puts on tin foil hat.
Jemaah Islamiiyah got its hands on lost ├╝bertechnology (machinery which allows you to dump enough and the right kind of electricity to the ground that it affects the harmonics of the earth) from Nikola Tesla and used it to set off the earthquakes as a test before they cause a cataclysm that will swallow North America and kill every single American.
/me takes off tin foil hat.
Refused Party Program
30-12-2004, 21:00
Here goes my first draft:

The suicide bombing in Irak made by the terrorists are shaking the tectonic plates under the middle east and the Indian ocean. The constant shaking put enough pressure on the joint where the two tectonic plates merge to move them. It caused an earthquake and an ensuing tsunami.

Therefore we can say that, without the shadow of a doubt, the terrorists are responsible for the earthquake.

You'd need seismometer readings from Iraq from at least a few weeks before a major earthquake. Or you could fabricate some out of cardboard and a tape measure, with good use of ink.

And let's think BIG, here, people. Let's work nukes in as much as possible.
East Canuck
30-12-2004, 21:02
You'd need seismometer readings from Iraq from at least a few weeks before a major earthquake. Or you could fabricate some out of cardboard and a tape measure, with good use of ink.

I'll leave it to the secret services to find 'evidence' to back up my conclusion.
Refused Party Program
30-12-2004, 21:04
I'll leave it to the secret services to find 'evidence' to back up my conclusion.

The Secret Service couldn't find Elvis on Mars!
East Canuck
30-12-2004, 21:05
has anybody seen the movie "Conspiracy Theory" with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts? It talks about a device made by the government to causes earthquakes. Surely we can base ourselves on that and swith "The Government" for "Terrorist" and have a pretty decent theory...
Los Banditos
30-12-2004, 21:06
Really, it was the CIA that st up the incident and planted evidence to make it look like terrorists did it. Michael Moore is going to make a movie.
Chicken pi
30-12-2004, 21:49
...which blames earthquakes on terrorists?

Maybe someone in a government or press institution could use the post from this forum as a source for their evidence someday.

Whatever theories people come up with, they won't match Skapadroe's "Bush is pissing off Gaia" theory.
Chinkopodia
30-12-2004, 21:54
Osama Bin Laden hi-jacked a US cruise missile fired spontaneously at Iraq and flies it instead back to America, he taks a banana from his pocket and throws it at Air Force 1, which is passing, it gets sucked into the engine and rocks the plane, Dick Cheney's vodka falls onto the missile panel and fires 20 nukes into space from America, Putin sees the launch and presses a button, the roof of the Kremlin opens up and shoots an Atomic Bomb shaped like a Stalin moustache into the stratosphere, it hits the Amercan nukes and they all explode, now George Bush's ancestors, who hitched a lift on projectile debris from the meteorite in the Mezoic extinction and are living on the Moon, they channel the light from the explosion through a giant uber-crystal into Kyrgyzstan, which tilts the Earth on its axis and causes another ice-age in the Western Hemisphere, the Russians can cope and decide to invade America, America is defeated and China rises up from the ashes. However, Saddam Hussein escapes from prison and finds an uber-drill in Iceland constructed by Tony Blair's grand-parernts, he drills under the great wall of China and places 5 of Bush's "n00kz handz orf" and a moudly cabbage there, the cabbage ferments and sets off 4 of the nukes, the Great Wall of China explodes and a large piece of debris is flung into the air with the fifth nuke attached, the fifth nuke sets off and carries it to the Maldives where it hits Male, the whole of that island plunges underwater hitting Atlantis, Jesus's holiday home, Jesus is angry and picks a fight with Allah, which causes at least 7 of the Maldive islands to fly into the air, which are flying through the air too fast to be shot down by the Bornean Orang-u-tang uber-lemon missiles and plunge into the water near Micronesia, crushing a nearby chicken, which causes recurring tremors which create a tsunami.

Meanwhile Osama Bin Laden is cackling menacingly in his evil antarctican lair - now he is free from the frozen America's searches, with 7 minions of penguin butlers at his right hand, and another 9 to the left.
Chicken pi
30-12-2004, 22:00
I take my comment back. You are obviously able to write crackpot theories on a par with Skapadroe and David Icke. :)
Chinkopodia
30-12-2004, 22:07
Why thank-you, did you know that Ike and I are working on a new book - How Chicken Pi's thoughts are being monitored by Government telepath aliens who also caused the Cuban Missile Crisis/ Thought you might be interested. :)
Bodies Without Organs
30-12-2004, 22:13
Can anyone me a half-decent crackpot theory...

This sentence no verb.
Chicken pi
30-12-2004, 22:13
Why thank-you, did you know that Ike and I are working on a new book - How Chicken Pi's thoughts are being monitored by Government telepath aliens who also caused the Cuban Missile Crisis/ Thought you might be interested. :)

Well, I would but my thought control chip doesn't allow me to think of things like...um... ooh look, a squirrel!


*chases squirrel, oblivious to antennae sticking out my head*
Refused Party Program
30-12-2004, 22:33
This sentence no verb.

I have since realised this and I blame my dyslexia on Islamic terrorists.
Letila
30-12-2004, 22:38
The real cause involved at least a few tentacle monsters, perhaps a full-blown overfiend and lots of bioships. The tentacle monsters invaded via quantom phase anomalies and intended to strike in their favorite place: Tokyo. A fleet of bioships arrived and attempted to stop them. They failed, but they did manage to deflect the demons away from Japan and toward the middle east.

Once there, they proceeded to terrorize the terrorists, who launched their stashes of smallpox to no avail. So they unleashed their ultimate trumpcard, nuclear weapons purchased from North Korea, who hoped that they would knock out the tentacle demons so Kim Il-Sung could capture them and use them to destroy Japan himself.

The nuclear bombs killed the demons, much to Kim's disappointment, and created a massive tsunami which killed all those people. So in short, terrorists were partly responsible for the tsunami, but so were North Korea, the hentai tentacle demons, and the well-meaning, but incompetent bioship fleet.
Dahyj
30-12-2004, 22:41
*bows before the glory of chinkopodia and his unfathomable reason and logic.*
Well done.
International Terrans
30-12-2004, 23:18
Three words:

Bush equals Anti-Christ.

Research that one. I promise you, it might not be true, but it sure is eye-opening.
Arenestho
30-12-2004, 23:33
Not Al Qaeda but another terrorist organisation, a Japanese one, the Aum Shinrikyo.

History: Carried out a nerve gas attack in the Tokyo subways. A Earthquake in central Australia (which is impossible, there are not Earthquakes in central Australia) was blamed on their use of a nuclear weapon, since the epicentre was supposedly on land owned by one of the cult members.

My Crackpot theory:
A boat carrying a nuclear weapon was traveling across the Indian Ocean at some point in time. During a storm the ship sank killing all the crew. The boat sank into a deep ravine near a fault line. A minor Earthquake on the fault caused the detonation of the primitive nuclear bomb, combined with the fact that it was near a fault line and the already produced seismic waves, it could have stimulate activity, causing the tsunami. Even the nuke itself might have.
Irrational Numbers
31-12-2004, 00:54
...which blames earthquakes on terrorists?

Maybe someone in a government or press institution could use the post from this forum as a source for their evidence someday.

God was pissed off at the terrorists so he tried to hit them with an earthquake... but missed.
Chinkopodia
31-12-2004, 12:37
*bows before the glory of chinkopodia and his unfathomable reason and logic.*
Well done.

You're welcome. :)
Chicken pi
31-12-2004, 12:44
Not Al Qaeda but another terrorist organisation, a Japanese one, the Aum Shinrikyo.

History: Carried out a nerve gas attack in the Tokyo subways. A Earthquake in central Australia (which is impossible, there are not Earthquakes in central Australia) was blamed on their use of a nuclear weapon, since the epicentre was supposedly on land owned by one of the cult members.

Heh, I heard about that. A load of people reported seeing a big explosion in the sky and it turned out that they had set up a big nuclear lab in Australia. Dumbasses decided that it would be a good idea to have a test run in the Australian outback before they set one off in Tokyo.
Refused Party Program
31-12-2004, 19:10
Keep 'em coming, folks.
Jeruselem
31-12-2004, 19:18
US finds Iraqi WMDs in Asia!

An expert from the Whitehouse said the US navy found tonnes of dumped Iraqi WMDs belonging to the former Saddam regime in Iraq dumped where the Indian Earthquake occured. Saddam had been secretly dumping these WMDs into the ocean near Indonesia using cargo ships to hide the fact he possessed WMDs. Apparently one of loads was unstable in the water and exploded setting off a chain reaction with the other dumped weapons. The results was an unexpected tectonic shift in the Burma and Australian plate causing the Earthquake.

:p
Refused Party Program
31-12-2004, 19:31
US finds Iraqi WMDs in Asia!

An expert from the Whitehouse said the US navy found tonnes of dumped Iraqi WMDs belonging to the former Saddam regime in Iraq dumped where the Indian Earthquake occured. Saddam had been secretly dumping these WMDs into the ocean near Indonesia using cargo ships to hide the fact he possessed WMDs. Apparently one of loads was unstable in the water and exploded setting off a chain reaction with the other dumped weapons. The results was an unexpected tectonic shift in the Burma and Australian plate causing the Earthquake.

:p

Now, you see, this is just ridiculous. We know Iraq didn't have WMDs. :p

We need a story that will circulate as a conspiratorial rumour all over the world.
Greedy Pig
31-12-2004, 19:54
My Crackport Theory...

Terrorist steals nuclear weapon from Pakistan. Terrorist tries to ship it to Australia where their going to detonate it. But as it passes by Jakarta, the boat hits a giant tanker and sinks to the bottom of the ocean.

As it goes deeper and deeper down the ocean and finally hitting rock bottom, the pressure on the nuclear weapon causes an implosion on the weapon causing it to detonate deep underwater.

Although the explosion is not enough to cause such tidal waves, it did however trigger the underwater system of volcano's and finally causing a massive earthquake.
Chicken pi
31-12-2004, 19:58
It was the mysterons...
Neo Cannen
31-12-2004, 20:39
The reason that the differnece engine, invented by Charles Babbage, did not create a Victorian infomation age is not that he fell out with the only enginer cappable of manufacturing it, but that the temporal consistancy police (TCP) traveled back in time to stop him. Babbage only got the idea from a crude understanding of the first prototype time ship which malfunctioed and crashed in his time. The temproal police came back and stoped it from causing too much damage.