NationStates Jolt Archive

How do you play rugby? Because I've been considering giving it a try and I'm curious how the game works.

Watch from the sidelines unless you want to get killed.

rule no 1) Ignore the ball, it serves no purpose whatsoever.
rule no 2) Find the smallest person on the team, and charge at him.
rule no 3) Once a game, it is your duty to start a fight if nobody else has.

How do you play rugby? Because I've been considering giving it a try and I'm curious how the game works.

Take the game that the US calls football.

Take away the padding.

Take away the crash-helmet.

Take away the little rest stops after every time someone runs.

Take away the breaks every few minutes.

Take away the ridiculous corporate overkill.

Take away pop-diva's singing halfway through...

Take away scantily clad females bouncing around on the sidelines, as an advertisment for pre-pubescent sexuality...

That's pretty close...

you forgot the part where your ears get ripped off or the other part where you fall under the scrum and get kicked to death

This sounds like fun...

Oh yeah, silly me!
some hints now.
for a quick death, become a forward, they get involved in the scrum and are generally most suicidal.
For a slow, agoizing death, take any position other than fly-half, as fly-half tends to be quite the target for the other team. *I'm picturing SA-England, where whatshisname put Wilkinson (?) out of commission with an incredibly late tackle*

you forgot the part where your ears get ripped off or the other part where you fall under the scrum and get kicked to death

Oh, and the bit where someone 'grabs your nuts' to 'break your concentration'... or the bit where some 300lb gorilla stands on your head...

Oh, and the bit where someone 'grabs your nuts' to 'break your concentration'... or the bit where some 300lb gorilla stands on your head...
...with sharpened studs on his shoes.

Yay rugby, i love it. Now everyone is over-exagerating, you dont get hurt in rugby, only the big people get hurt. Hookers my name rugbys my game. If you want proper rules on it then ill be glad to tell you all about it.

Take away scantily clad females bouncing around on the sidelines, as an advertisment for pre-pubescent sexuality...

I'm still trying to figure out how NFL cheerleaders (who are all adults) constitute an advertisement for pre-pubescent sexuality.

Please do.

Yay rugby, i love it. Now everyone is over-exagerating, you dont get hurt in rugby, only the big people get hurt. Hookers my name rugbys my game. If you want proper rules on it then ill be glad to tell you all about it.

That explains it... I was one of the big people...

So THAT's why people kept standing on my head...

I'm still trying to figure out how NFL cheerleaders (who are all adults) constitute an advertisement for pre-pubescent sexuality.

NFL isn't really the problem... I'm thinking of the way it filters down through college football into schools.

"American Beauty" is one movie that (without being too heavy about it) leads a little exploration party into the territory I'm describing...

Well:

Sorry but ive decided theres to many rules to explain. But heres some easy rules.

1) Never pass foreward.

2)Dont let go of it when carrying and let it go foreward

3)A non-converted try is 5 points
(Assuming that this us Rugby Union)
4)A converted try is 7 points

5)Converted means that after you score a try, the flyhalf/kicker, kicks it between the rugby bars.

6)There is various offsides

7)The kickoff needs to go at least 10 yards

8)Scrum means basically a huddle of so many players where they push against each other.

Any exact questions give me one of those private messages or something.

Oh yeah, silly me!
some hints now.
for a quick death, become a forward, they get involved in the scrum and are generally most suicidal.
For a slow, agoizing death, take any position other than fly-half, as fly-half tends to be quite the target for the other team. *I'm picturing SA-England, where whatshisname put Wilkinson (?) out of commission with an incredibly late tackle*

What's a scrum? :confused:

What's a scrum? :confused:
The fattest people on each team desperately trying to knock the other group of lardarses over so that they can trample them. At some point a person makes it harder by throwing a ball into the middle.

The fattest people on each team desperately trying to knock the other group of lardarses over so that they can trample them. At some point a person makes it harder by throwing a ball into the middle.

It also makes the perfect defensive shield for some unscrupulous players to gouge eyes, grab body parts, etc... without being seen.

A scrum is a ballet*over exagerrated statements about rugby by the way*

A scrum is a ballet*over exagerrated statements about rugby by the way*

This is true. It is a ballet.

It's just a really violent ballet, where people lose teeth...

This is true. It is a ballet.

It's just a really violent ballet, where people lose teeth...

God don't remind me. My name is Jack, and im a dental victim of...the scrum. Seriously, half of one of my front teeth knocked cleanly out. Obviously not cleanly though.