NationStates Jolt Archive

If Michael Moore and Ann Coulter were in the ring, whould win the match: the fat bastard or the angry ol' hag?

Michael Moore, duh. He would lay on the weigh down!

I think they'd both spontaneously combust....even though I like Michael Moore a heck of alot more because I'm a liberal-type person.

Obvious.

Michael Moore.

Have you seen that guy? He could just like.. yaknow...

Sit on her :p

True, but then with her being a hag she could, y'know, put a curse on him :-P

Tie.

It's an "unstoppable force versus immovable object" sort of arrangement; they'd both go BOOM :eek:

Ann Coulter, but only because she'd fight dirty.

I don't even see how this is a contest. Michael Moore is like 750 pounds. Ann Coulter is 100 pounds soaking wet. He would crush her underfoot. She'd just be like one of those shrieking Japanese women in a Godzilla movie as he squished her.

I'd hope they'd both kill each other in the fight and save the rest of us the agony of having to listen to their voices ever again.

Michael Moore.

Ann Coulter would absolutely KILL Michael Moore. Sure, he is (massively) bigger than she is, but he's way too slow and stupid to be able to use it to his advantage.

moore has moore weight

the crpa that ann coutler spews is vile enough to kill any being

Ann Coulter would win, because she's pure evil, but Moore would land on top of her as he dies, crushing her.

Then 2000 years from now they'd be reanimated and star on their very own Odd Couple-esque sitcom.

Ann Coulter would lose since US 4th Reich persons are not as smart like real people as Michael.

Tie.

Pure Evil vs. Pure Evil= BOOM!

In terms of sheer lies, Ann Coulter. Moore is a little too far left, for me though. He attacked Bill Clinton :( .

Michael Moore would eat Anne Coulter. They would combine to form something new all together. More terrible and politically fucked up then anyone.

Ann Coulter would win. Don't you watch TV? Good always wins.

Ann Coulter would win unless MM is gay. Assuming he isn't, then he is a normal guy and if MM took off her top, he'd be distracted looking at her boobs just long enough for her to kick him in the nuts and then break his neck when doubled over.

Not to say that this is a fair fight in any way you can imagine, just a realistic one. Admit it guys, you may hate or love what she stands for and she is certainly no _____________________________(insert beautiful woman's name here) but if she bared her breasts, wouldn't you pause, even if for just a second or two, so you could look? If you say "no" you're a liar or gay.

Just my $0.02

Why are you even discussing this? Michael Moore, having no sense of chivalry, would pound her into the ground. To rub it in even more, he would make a movie stating this violence happens because the republicans are making violence in the media look okay. He would then call himself the hero to the working man, who claims to know what it's like to be an average Joe. This is all very far from the truth, because he spends most of his time getting "sensual" massages from underage vietnamese (sp?) girls, who are all John Kerry's illegitimate children from when he raped, tortured, and burned in Vietnam, that Moore met while he was trying to make Theresa Heinz Ketchup into a sassy black woman. Then he'll move to canada, and tell them of his heroic triumph over the Bush regime through his murder of Coulter...which they'll believe because canadians will believe anything that makes America look bad.

...those dirty, syrup covered, hairy legged, lumberjacking, unbathed, "ey" monkeys...
...oh, and they have french people too!

Ann Coulter would win unless MM is gay. Assuming he isn't, then he is a normal guy and if MM took off her top, he'd be distracted looking at her boobs just long enough for her to kick him in the nuts and then break his neck when doubled over.

Not to say that this is a fair fight in any way you can imagine, just a realistic one. Admit it guys, you may hate or love what she stands for and she is certainly no _____________________________(insert beautiful woman's name here) but if she bared her breasts, wouldn't you pause, even if for just a second or two, so you could look? If you say "no" you're a liar or gay.

Just my $0.02

That assumes that any kick by Coulter could penetrate all the way to Moore's testicles.

That assumes that any kick by Coulter could penetrate all the way to Moore's testicles.

ROFL - good point!

Moore would easily win. I dunno, for all her talk, I can't see Ann actually fighting or anything. She hides behind her pulpit and shriakes. Moore, on the other hand, goes out and ambushes politicians and such. In terms of activity, he has the advantage.

As it has been said before, he also has a clear weight advantage.

And lastly, Moore has more fans the Coulter does. That means that in the event of a staged fight, he has a better chance at winning.


So yeah, definatly Moore.

a more interesting question is which one could endure more torture before they renounced their ideological beliefs. cuz then we could like torture them, and that would be sorta fun.

The hag because shes so evil. The good guys always lose.

a more interesting question is which one could endure more torture before they renounced their ideological beliefs. cuz then we could like torture them, and that would be sorta fun.

I make it a habit not to condone torture as I don't think it really does any good for gathering intelligence, but in this case I'd happily flip the switch on these two. What intelligence? It'd just be for grins to watch them twitch and shut them both the fuck up.

As far as a fight goes, I had to go with Coulter. She is one venemous, hateful, nasty bitch and most definitely a dirty fighter. Moore is big, but I just don't think he'd be fast enough to be able to get the smack down on Annie. In the scrap she'd be one bad motha -

hush yo mouth!

Ann Coulter would win unless MM is gay. Assuming he isn't, then he is a normal guy and if MM took off her top, he'd be distracted looking at her boobs just long enough for her to kick him in the nuts and then break his neck when doubled over.

Not to say that this is a fair fight in any way you can imagine, just a realistic one. Admit it guys, you may hate or love what she stands for and she is certainly no _____________________________(insert beautiful woman's name here) but if she bared her breasts, wouldn't you pause, even if for just a second or two, so you could look? If you say "no" you're a liar or gay.

Just my $0.02
he might get dazzled for a second over her chest but then when he pulled down her skirt and saw what was there hed snap out of it real quick

Well, if Ann Coulter can survive under four metric tons of Lard and Twinkies, she could easily pull out her cell phone and call in an air strike on the Hostess factory, which would in turn cause Michael Moore to become even more pissed off.

He would then produce a new movie, entitled "Fahrenheit [Insert date of Hostess destruction]" or "[Year of Hostess Destruction]", examing the violence towards cream-filled pastries in America. The raving success of the movie, due mostly to the pinko left, would almost double Moore's bank account, which before was made up mostly of the money he made off of a national tragedy (9/11). The excess money would most likely be spent on a few Big Macs per day, which would clog the fat bastard's arteries, causing a slow and painful death in a few years.

Meanwhile, Ann Coulter will still be writing books blatantly insulting the Democratic Left. She has a slim chance of being battered over the head with said book by an angry voter.

Moore dies first, Coulter dies second. I'm gonna have to give this victory to Yushchenko.

It depends on if either party gets to use weapons.

If not, my guess would be Ann Coulter. She could maneuver around behind Moore and dispatch him with a single karate chop to the back of the neck. Then, Al Gore orders a recount in Florida, the ACLU sues, and Ralph Nader stands on the sidelines, twirling his handlebar moustache, muttering, "Excellent." The Swifties protest, and France surrenders.

Michael Moore would eat Anne Coulter. They would combine to form something new all together. More terrible and politically fucked up then anyone.
MICHAEL COULTER! RAAAAAWWRRR!!! SAVE YOUR CHILDREN!


I hate bush! munch munch

I would have to give the victory to neither. Coulter would most likely smash into him with the force of a cruise missile, and moore would fall over and not be able to get up. Then she'd start ranting, and moore's head would explode, setting off the methane in his vastly overinflated stomach, thus killing coulter. If she somehow survived the explosion, the rain of lard would suffocate her.

Michael Moore would eat Anne Coulter. They would combine to form something new all together. More terrible and politically fucked up then anyone.MICHAEL COULTER! RAAAAAWWRRR!!! SAVE YOUR CHILDREN!


I hate bush! munch munch

It would be a disturbing organic version of those combining Transformers, where there's more than one configuration.

For the Liberal AutoBot side you have Michael Coulter.

And then for the Dece... er NeoCon version it's Ann Moore. Oh god, I can imagine her rantings would even get Starscream to say "STFU!!"

:D

Woah, I broke a tie with the voting...and is it just me, or are most of the posts in here, barring the "pinko commie" crap of course, hilarious? XD
But no, realistically, Moore would crush her before she could do anything; he may be big, but he does have some speed to go with it. Enough to catch her, anyway, especially if they were in a ring versus a free standing fight.

I've seen both of them in person.

Ann is in very good physical condition. I think she would kick Michael's lard ass all over the room.

what if moore was given a large wooden spoon and coulter was given a riding crop, would that change the fight dynamics any?

what if moore was given a large wooden spoon and coulter was given a riding crop, would that change the fight dynamics any?

I would let them use personal weapons they already own. In this case, Ann already owns several assault rifles. Michael doesn't.

So I know who would win.

Countrarily to what one may think, they're actually quite close to each other. They "think" through biases and stereotypes, take liberties with facts and get emotional when they should be rational. None wins by me.

... edit: thinking about it, populist Michael Moore is sometimes entertaining, while b*tch Coulter isn't. That's an advantage.

I would let them use personal weapons they already own. In this case, Ann already owns several assault rifles. Michael doesn't.

So I know who would win.
i'm pretty sure kim jung ill gave mm several assault rifles in appreciation of his service to the glorious ongoing people's revolution.

Once again, though, regardless of health, Coulter doesn't do anything but hide behind the pulprit and shrike. Moore actually goes out and films his movies while ambushing politicians. Moore has a clear advantage here.

Reason A) "Daniel-san, no body ever wins a fight."

Reason B) "I am the Keymaster! The Destructor will come, the Traveler! The Destroyer! Gatekeeper! I am Vinz. Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?"

(The question begs, of course, does Ann Coulter = Signorney Weaver?) :D

Ann Coulter absorbs the heat and oxygen from the room she is in. In her unexcited state, she drops the temperature about 5° C at a distance of 1 meter. Get her worked up, and she's in refrigeration mode.

Therefore, she would be able to freeze and suffocate Michael Moore and whoever else is around.

I would let them use personal weapons they already own. In this case, Ann already owns several assault rifles. Michael doesn't.

So I know who would win.

The muzzles of her assault rifles are clogged with mud. Who then would win?

The muzzles of her assault rifles are clogged with mud. Who then would win?

Ann. She has an "evil" bayonet mounted on the assault rifle. Not to mention the "evil" flash hider and the "evil" pistol grip and the "evil" 30-rd magazine.

Actually, all you need to do to get rid of Moore is chase him for about 200 meters. He'll get a coronary and die on the spot, after barfing up 100 pounds of partially digested food.

My money's on Ann. Moore would likely have a heart attack by the second round.

Moore falls on Ann while walking towards her. Ann dies on impact.

Ann Coulter, but only because she'd fight dirty.

I think it's more or less a given that they'd both fight dirty.

Yeah, I'd have to say Ann Coulter. Even if her guns are clogged with mud, she can point them at Moore and he'd run. Or... sorta waddle. And then he'd have a heart attack and die.

Assuming that doesn't work, you'd have to keep in mind that given the fact he weighs a metric ton, Michael Moore would have the maneuverability of a brick. Ann could practically dance around him, slicing into him with a bayonet until he bleeds to death.

Failing all this, Ann still has the option to wave a Twinkie around and then toss it over the side of a cliff. Moore dives after it, game over.

Yeah, I'd have to say Ann Coulter. Even if her guns are clogged with mud, she can point them at Moore and he'd run. Or... sorta waddle. And then he'd have a heart attack and die.

Assuming that doesn't work, you'd have to keep in mind that given the fact he weighs a metric ton, Michael Moore would have the maneuverability of a brick. Ann could practically dance around him, slicing into him with a bayonet until he bleeds to death.

Failing all this, Ann still has the option to wave a Twinkie around and then toss it over the side of a cliff. Moore dives after it, game over.

Nope, a bayonet isn't supposed to be sharp. It can be, but it would then be classified as a knife. If it were a true bayonet, Ann would merely stab the crap out of Mike.

who?

Micheal Moore would lose automatically for being so incredibly dumb.

Micheal Moore would lose automatically for being so incredibly dumb.


you forget that if he died, his liberal extremist time bomb, (the actual reason he is fat) would activate, causing an explosion 1000 times hiroshima.

you forget that if he died, his liberal extremist time bomb, (the actual reason he is fat) would activate, causing an explosion 1000 times hiroshima.

Well then, we should obviously carbon freeze him, so many generations after us to can have the great privilige of looking at his frozen body and laughing at his stupidity....

Well then, we should obviously carbon freeze him, so many generations after us to can have the great privilige of looking at his frozen body and laughing at his stupidity....

you know how mcuh energy it owuld take to hold onto that?

it would cause a nationwide blackout.

you know how mcuh energy it owuld take to hold onto that?

it would cause a nationwide blackout.

That's the real reason we invaded Iraq....

To fuel the freezing of Micheal Moore!!

HAHAH!

BUSH IS A GENIUS!

That's the real reason we invaded Iraq....

To fuel the freezing of Micheal Moore!!

HAHAH!

BUSH IS A GENIUS!

but then all the muslims would be like:

ALLAH! WE WILL KILL THE INFIDELS! ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH!

and then every muslim in the world will set off a small bomb

but then all the muslims would be like:

ALLAH! WE WILL KILL THE INFIDELS! ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH!

and then every muslim in the world will set off a small bomb

Since most all muslims live in the middle east, it would also accomplish the goal of killing Osama Bin Laden....

Since most all muslims live in the middle east, it would also accomplish the goal of killing Osama Bin Laden....

and the destruction of all the oil.

and my neighbor's house :D

and the destruction of all the oil.

and my neighbor's house :D

So was Bush's final intent of the invasion of Iraq just to destroy your neighbors home?

So was Bush's final intent of the invasion of Iraq just to destroy your neighbors home?

yes.

yes.

It's all so clear now....

yea, bob was just begging for it.


fucker stole my rake.

yea, bob was just begging for it.


fucker stole my rake.


Holy Shit....

Holy Shit....

yea, i know!

it was an expensive rake!

it was an expensive rake!

Obviously!

Yeah, I'd have to say Ann Coulter. Even if her guns are clogged with mud, she can point them at Moore and he'd run. Or... sorta waddle. And then he'd have a heart attack and die.

Assuming that doesn't work, you'd have to keep in mind that given the fact he weighs a metric ton, Michael Moore would have the maneuverability of a brick. Ann could practically dance around him, slicing into him with a bayonet until he bleeds to death.

Failing all this, Ann still has the option to wave a Twinkie around and then toss it over the side of a cliff. Moore dives after it, game over.

Moore's blood, at a normal 98.6°F, spills on icy Ann-orexic and melts her away. Game over. Tie.

Anyone know how Moore weighs ? List in pounds or tons, whichever is most accurate. :D

Ann could deftly dodge Moore's attacks, until she began to tire. Then Moore could just roll onto her and suffocate her. Of course, her high heels would poke him, causing him to bleed corrosive acid that would dissolve the floor, and he would fall three stories into a health-food plant and suffer third-degree chemical burns from the tofu machine. Then he'd probably make a documentary explaining how it was the fault of the Bush administration and their ties to the Saudis. :D

The fight has already taken place and Ann has won. :eek:

The fight has already taken place and Ann has won. :eek:

nice observation.

I don't even see how this is a contest. Michael Moore is like 750 pounds. Ann Coulter is 100 pounds soaking wet. He would crush her underfoot. She'd just be like one of those shrieking Japanese women in a Godzilla movie as he squished her.
True, but he'd die a moment later from a heart attack caused by the exertion.

Yeah, I'd have to say Ann Coulter. Even if her guns are clogged with mud, she can point them at Moore and he'd run. Or... sorta waddle. And then he'd have a heart attack and die.

Assuming that doesn't work, you'd have to keep in mind that given the fact he weighs a metric ton, Michael Moore would have the maneuverability of a brick. Ann could practically dance around him, slicing into him with a bayonet until he bleeds to death.

Failing all this, Ann still has the option to wave a Twinkie around and then toss it over the side of a cliff. Moore dives after it, game over.

Hey, a mod who isn't a lefty!:eek:

I didn't think they existed!

Euh most are rightwingers. Only Stephistan is a centrist, there even aren't leftwingers.

I'd give this one to Moore. He's kind of sneaky, he'd find some way to make Coulter think she's eating ice cream when in fact she's getting her face bashed.

Moore might interview her and release a cut-up video which changes her view, getting all her supporters to turn on her and rip her apart.

"I love thinking about the War on Iraq. I hate those damn hippy liberals."becomes"I love## hippy liberals. ##I hate ##the War on Iraq##"

Slimy bugger.

Ann could deftly dodge Moore's attacks, until she began to tire. Then Moore could just roll onto her and suffocate her. Of course, her high heels would poke him, causing him to bleed corrosive acid that would dissolve the floor, and he would fall three stories into a health-food plant and suffer third-degree chemical burns from the tofu machine. Then he'd probably make a documentary explaining how it was the fault of the Bush administration and their ties to the Saudis. :D

Ah, and dont forget Poland!

Ann Coulter would win. Don't you watch TV? Good always wins.
No. Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb. :D

As long as Coulter does not have her How To Speak To A Liberal book. Moore will do alot fine, including if he is anything like Roger Moore, though.

bump

Moore-on has a big belly which would serve as a powerful weapon. Cruelter has a weapon of her own- a hideous face. Thus, neither of them would have a clear-cut advantage.

Coulter would take one look at Moore and he would turn to stone. Only those with blackened hearts can bare to look at her face and not fall under the gorgons curse, hence her supporters being immune.