NationStates Jolt Archive

I mean ... who else goes "Ho, ho, ho, little girl! Want a piece of caaaandy?" :D

And what's with all those little kids sitting on his lap?

And what's with all those little kids sitting on his lap?


Yeah, it's like an overweight Michael Jackson!!

and he knows where all the naughty girls live!

And besides the pedophilliac side of it, the guy rides a slide with flying deer leading it.
If that's not the drugs talking, I don't know what that is.

and he knows where all the naughty girls live!
He knows where all the naughty boys live too. And he enters their house unannounced and without consent. What a creepy guy.

ROFLMAO! I was hoping to generate some comments like these with that post! :D

And little children love him! Aaaaaargh! :eek:

and what about that nasty red suit?

But he looks ever so friendly in those coca-cola adverts - !

But he looks ever so friendly in those coca-cola adverts - !
Well, you know what they say ... "THINGS just go better with coke!" :D

Anyway, who wants to trust the company of an advert that repeats the same syllable of a word FIVE TIMES!?

"Co-co-co-co-co-ca-cola!"

*shudder*

Ho Ho Fucking Ho by Kevin Bloody Wilson



Chorus)
Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show,
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

I'm Rudolf & I quit
Just whos he think he is,
That little fat **** said back in the sleigh,
Crackin' that fuckin' whip,
And me stuck up the front,
Of these other useless cunts,
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

And what about us elves,
We've had enough as well
Workin' in that feezin' factory
Cold as fuckin' hell,
Workin' til we drop
With our bollocks freezin' off,
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

I'm Santa Claus's wife,
I know what he's really like,
Sneakin' into them little kids rooms
He's a fuckin' pediphile,
A devious old drunk,
And I'm married to the ****,
So stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho fucking ho

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho - Ho - Fucking - Ho


And for all you P2P users, yes you ca find it on those programs.

But he looks ever so friendly in those coca-cola adverts - !
He's a little too friendly.

it's the fake santas at the mall that are creepy because they volunteer for a job where all they do is have little kids sit on their laps

bleck

"Are you a good little boy? Good boys get candy canes..."

"Are you a good little boy? Good boys get candy canes..."
Um ... does that mean good little girls get all-day suckers? :D

after all, he does leave gifts and doesn't take anything but milk and cookies. ;)

after all, he does leave gifts and doesn't take anything but milk and cookies. ;)
And your children's innocence.

Ho Ho Fucking Ho by Kevin Bloody Wilson



Chorus)
Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show,
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

I'm Rudolf & I quit
Just whos he think he is,
That little fat **** said back in the sleigh,
Crackin' that fuckin' whip,
And me stuck up the front,
Of these other useless cunts,
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

And what about us elves,
We've had enough as well
Workin' in that feezin' factory
Cold as fuckin' hell,
Workin' til we drop
With our bollocks freezin' off,
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

I'm Santa Claus's wife,
I know what he's really like,
Sneakin' into them little kids rooms
He's a fuckin' pediphile,
A devious old drunk,
And I'm married to the ****,
So stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho fucking ho

Ho Ho Fucking Ho
What a croc of shit,
We all work for Santa Claus
We've had enough, we quit,
'Cause we do all the fuckin' work
While he stars in the show
Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho Ho Fucking Ho

Stick ya Christmas up ya arse,
Ho - Ho - Fucking - Ho
This one's better

The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain

:D

Forgot about that one.

Snicker.. I love Wierd Al's stuff!

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER


Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.


When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.


Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.


It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.


I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER


Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.


When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.


Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.


It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.


I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


I can't believe they made a cartoon about this song. It's funny but doesn't a song about a drunken Santa killing their Grandma the kind of stuff you would NOT want the kids to hear?

it's the fake santas at the mall that are creepy because they volunteer for a job where all they do is have little kids sit on their laps

bleck

The one at OUR mall is the REAL Santa. So there :p

i was thinking i heard in fortean times that santa's red and white clothes came from turning animal skin inside out (fur on inside bloody red skin outside)

also with his name being an anagram of satan maybe hes a devil worshiping peodo :eek: