Lunatic Goofballs
24-12-2004, 07:33
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
All quotes by Rodney Dangerfield. :D
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
All quotes by Rodney Dangerfield. :D