NationStates Jolt Archive

Tell your favorite jokes.

What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?
They both stick their meat in Ten year old buns

Tell your favorite jokes.

What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?
They both stick their meat in Ten year old buns
:eek:

A blind man passes a fishmonger:"Ladies..."

Democratic party.

A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

A man walks into a gun store and is wanting to buy a new gun with a scope. The salesman says that the scope is so good that the buyer can see the salesman's house. The man looks through the scope and is able to see the guy's house. Inside, he sees a woman and a man getting a little too friendly. The guy says to the salesman: "theres a man and a woman going at it in your house". The sales man looks through the scope and exclaims: "Thats my wife. I'll give you two bullets and the gun if you can shoot his thing off and her head off.". The customer looks through the scope and says: "I'll only need one bullet" :p :sniper:

How many Emo fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4001. 1 to hold the lightbulb and 4000 to turn the room

Both awful, but one is so, so true

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm hungry...want to get lunch...Lets go to a ballgame....Maybe go to a LAN party

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
5: One to screw in the light bulb, two to debate the rights of the light socket, and two to secretly wish they were the light socket.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So people stop mistaking them for feminists.

A blonde walk into a bar: "Auch"

Spell IHOP


then say ness

Now throw it all together

It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can
be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled
streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a
business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a
quicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had
written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from
memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed
instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed
away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her
e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing
scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note
on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival
tomorrow.

PS. Sure is hot down here.

How many social workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4. One to distract the parents and three to quietly smuggle the bulb to its new foster home.

Rather childish one: ask women if they were born with happiness :eek:

A guy is driving around Canada in the freezing cold when suddenly his engine fails. He calls Triple A (or whatever they call it in Canada), and waits for some time. At last they arrive. The repair guys pop the hood and inspects the engine.
The guy asks: "So what's wrong?"
Mechanic:"You blew a seal"
Guy: "No it's just frost in my moustache"

A guy is driving around Canada in the freezing cold when suddenly his engine fails. He calls Triple A (or whatever they call it in Canada), and waits for some time. At last they arrive. The repair guys pop the hood and inspects the engine.
The guy asks: "So what's wrong?"
Mechanic:"You blew a seal"
Guy: "No it's just frost in my moustache"
Or with a welsh mechanic:

Mechanic: You blew a seal
Guy: So what, you bum sheep