NationStates Jolt Archive

I orginally said this in another topic but I decided to make a topic just for myself.

Can someone tell me how to get a girl that has a boyfriend? Unfortunatly the only cute girl that knows I exist is already with some guy. I dont know her too well but I think that at one point about she liked me. I made a mistake and I didnt do anything then because I wasnt sure if she liked me or if she pityed me. Well its about six months later I cant stop thinking about her. I have a ridiculas plan to use laxitives on her boyfriends drink when no one is around and before that locking a bathroom door. He shits in his pants and the girl never talks to him again. Well that will take a rare oppertunity. Any Ideas for my situation?

Get a life.
What kind of fucktard are you to break up a couple? If she is not happy with him she will leave him eventually, otherwise its none of you business.

A relationship based on your trickery is not one that will last.

LOL @Jester....


havent we already explained to you Roman, that its just not cool to break up a couple? Why go after someone who's taken? Look for single people doll. You dont want to be like that now do you?

Can someone tell me how to get a girl that has a boyfriend?
Don't.

Yikes, that's really creepy and wrong on so many levels. Please get help.

Aw no, go on, break them up! Isn't that what natural selection is all about? If you're ingenious enough to ridicule her bloke without anyone finding out it was you, you deserve the girlfriend.

Of course, if you're careless and he finds out, kicking the shit out of you and making sure you never so much as look at his ladyfriend again, I guess you deserve that too. But learn from your mistakes. Next time be stealthier.

Aw no, go on, break them up! Isn't that what natural selection is all about? If you're ingenious enough to ridicule her bloke without anyone finding out it was you, you deserve the girlfriend.

Of course, if you're careless and he finds out, kicking the shit out of you and making sure you never so much as look at his ladyfriend again, I guess you deserve that too. But learn from your mistakes. Next time be stealthier.

Well I dont plan on getting caught. And her boyfriend is just a ugly pothead I am sure and could easily kill him.

Its not good to break up a relationship, if she is with someone, the important thing is that its by choice. What matters here more than what you want, is what she wants. How much trust, which is key in any relationship, do you think she would have for you if you were willing to do something so underhanded, and that undermines her capacity to think for herself? If she wants to be with you, then she will come around, but dont force yourself on her and lose all objectivity. I like a lot of girls that I know circumstance keeps me from and forever will - its a part of life, you have to learn to deal with it gracefully, move on, and just live your life not theirs. :)

Well I dont plan on getting caught. And her boyfriend is just a ugly pothead I am sure and could easily kill him.


kill him?? egads! Have you forgotten to take your meds?

Your best bet is to kill him.

Failing that, move on to someone else.

kill him?? egads! Have you forgotten to take your meds?

HA HA... what I ment by kill is win in a fight. I dont plan on killing anyone or even hurting anyone or even fighting anyone.

No, your best bet is to forget about her.
If you can't do that, take a trip to Paris and join the French Foreign Legion.
That way, if you ever get it into your head to come back and try something stupid before your tour is up, they'll kill you for us.

I orginally said this in another topic but I decided to make a topic just for myself.

Can someone tell me how to get a girl that has a boyfriend? Unfortunatly the only cute girl that knows I exist is already with some guy. I dont know her too well but I think that at one point about she liked me. I made a mistake and I didnt do anything then because I wasnt sure if she liked me or if she pityed me. Well its about six months later I cant stop thinking about her. I have a ridiculas plan to use laxitives on her boyfriends drink when no one is around and before that locking a bathroom door. He shits in his pants and the girl never talks to him again. Well that will take a rare oppertunity. Any Ideas for my situation?

Your idea is so out of a 80s movie it rules!
I say do it, it will be a hillarious story to tell your friends about even if you don't get the girl and get your ass kicked.
If you want to get a girl you have to exude confidence and be witty but not too funny becasue girls never go for the funny guy. Also dress well and be rude to her, but not too rude.

By the way don't feel bad about "stealing" someones girlfriend unless it is a friend, it happens all the time and will surely happen to you one day, plus its not like women are property or anything.

Get a life.
What kind of fucktard are you to break up a couple? If she is not happy with him she will leave him eventually, otherwise its none of you business.

Hahaha....there is no better advice than this...case closed

Well I dont plan on getting caught. And her boyfriend is just a ugly pothead I am sure and could easily kill him.

This isn't the Capulets and the Montagues, bud. No killing allowed.

lets see.. what should my advice be...

oh yeah

Go to hell. Grow up and stop trying to break up people like a little lame ass punk.

HA HA... what I ment by kill is win in a fight. I dont plan on killing anyone or even hurting anyone or even fighting anyone.

Ok, so supposing you do win a fight with the boyfriend, what then?

TR: I poured laxatives into your boyfriends' drink and beat him up because I love you!

Lady Friend: ...?

I say go for it. Why waste a perfectly plausible evil plot involving laxatives? The guy sounds like a douche anyway, so he probably deserves it.

Ok, so supposing you do win a fight with the boyfriend, what then?

TR: I poured laxatives into your boyfriends' drink and beat him up because I love you!

Lady Friend: ...?

OK everyone I do not plan on beating this guy up. I just plan on making him shit in his pants and disgusting the girl. If he can make it to the bathroom it gives me 7 hours or so to be with the girl. If she breaks up with him I can have a chance with her. She or her current boyfriend will not know about me using the laxitives.

Off the orignal question here, I must admit I find it odd that so many of you would have such rude responces for the guy. Not sure what "fantasy world" most of you live in, but its almost common place to want "that girl" who happens to be with "that guy" is it not, at least that's how it is in the far regions of where myself live.

If this girl liked you 6 months ago, and you weren't sure and you let it pass then I even must admit let it go. Like those that have had it happen to them here no doubt looking at some of the responces, it's a pretty shitty feeling to watch some guy try to take your girl away. If she's happy where she is let her be, you don't need to start making waves for her, she might end up with no one at that point, or even not talking to you at all.

If you're that desperate go for it, it would sure as hell be a funny story to tell in later years.

If ya don't get caught, good for you !

OK everyone I do not plan on beating this guy up. I just plan on making him shit in his pants and disgusting the girl. If he can make it to the bathroom it gives me 7 hours or so to be with the girl. If she breaks up with him I can have a chance with her. She or her current boyfriend will not know about me using the laxitives.

Right, I was continuing the thought of what happens if you get caught. Obviously you don't plan on getting caught, but neither did Nixon.

Anyway, this is still so very wrong. Don't playa hate, brutha.

Your idea is so out of a 80s movie it rules!
I say do it, it will be a hillarious story to tell your friends about even if you don't get the girl and get your ass kicked.
If you want to get a girl you have to exude confidence and be witty but not too funny becasue girls never go for the funny guy. Also dress well and be rude to her, but not too rude.

By the way don't feel bad about "stealing" someones girlfriend unless it is a friend, it happens all the time and will surely happen to you one day, plus its not like women are property or anything.


You bring up a great point everyone else may be ignoring. Her current boyfriend could be a yuppie jerk, whose dad is going to bulldoze the teenager's rec center. Obviously what he has to do is beat him in a ski run, drag race, dance contest, or karate tournament. Then he is guaranteed to get the girl!

If you want to be with her, why don't you just call her and ask her out?
If you're such a stud that you can convince her to break up with her current bf in less than 7 hours, it's the best plan in the world.

Otherwise, you're better off in the French Foreign Legion. Any guy who thinks some girl who is interested in someone else is the end-all-be-all of human existence is a fucktard.

I orginally said this in another topic but I decided to make a topic just for myself.

Can someone tell me how to get a girl that has a boyfriend? Unfortunatly the only cute girl that knows I exist is already with some guy. I dont know her too well but I think that at one point about she liked me. I made a mistake and I didnt do anything then because I wasnt sure if she liked me or if she pityed me. Well its about six months later I cant stop thinking about her. I have a ridiculas plan to use laxitives on her boyfriends drink when no one is around and before that locking a bathroom door. He shits in his pants and the girl never talks to him again. Well that will take a rare oppertunity. Any Ideas for my situation?
1. Turn of computer
2. Go outside
3. Walk into traffic
4. Repeat as needed

You could always try bribing her.

You bring up a great point everyone else may be ignoring. Her current boyfriend could be a yuppie jerk, whose dad is going to bulldoze the teenager's rec center. Obviously what he has to do is beat him in a ski run, drag race, dance contest, or karate tournament. Then he is guaranteed to get the girl!

No he is guranteed to get the girl of his dreams (sort of, they will kiss once under the stars or something) and then lose the girl of his dreams to some jerk who's dad is going to demolish the teen rec center. Then he will enter the world championchip for pickel eating or some other such test of fortitude and make it to the final round, where the prize is of course 1 million dollars, the exact amount needed to save the rec center. After the jerk boyfriend is puking pickel juice out of his nose, he will snatch his true love away and make out in the back seat of the parents car.

Anyway if you want to see a good 80s movie about stealing girlfriends from jerks which is filled with practical advice I would have to recomend "Valley Girl" it sounds like a chick flick but it rocks.

Ok, I've stolen a lot of girls out of a lot of relationships, not because I'm an asshole who thinks thats fun; just because I put myself and what I want ahead of other people, especially random dudes who have girls I want. Getting girls who are in relationships is pretty easy. The key is to start out at friends, ask her to go to the mall and do other things that friends in your area would do(every city/town has its own recreational opportunities), get her to hang out with you and your friends(assuming they aren't weirdos) and you hang out with her and her friends, be cool(act like you aren't desperate to be with her) be funny(but not a douchebag or a dumbass) don't be afraid to make fun of yourself a little, but make sure its not for something serious, make jokes about something that you do reasonably well and force her to praise you for it. Try to impress her by talking about contributions you make to things that you do, not by talking about just what you do, but how you affect things. Don't go on at length about it, just drop a few lines here and there. Give her something to brag to her friends about, you can be an all around awesome guy, but you have to be something so she can say "he is a (insert whatever)" Give her a call now and again just to talk about your days and whatever, keep the calls short, under a half hour, if you talk to her online make sure its all fun, nothing serious joke around, don't talk about her problems or anything, unless she wants to vent about something(when shes done just say something like, "wow, thats shitty, i hope tomorrow is better") The trick during this period, and it shouldn't take more than 2 weeks is to make yourself seem impressive and fun. Make sure you're always asking open ended questions about things that she mentions. But never talk about her boyfriend, if she starts to talk about her boyfriend thats fine, use this as an opportunity to find out stuff about him(seem nonintrusive, ask open ended questions, play to his faults).

Now you start to heavy hit, when you hang out say stuff like, "I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind that we've been hanging out so much"; "you don't seem like a girl tied down in a relationship, you have fun". If you're going to a big party or club talk to her about it a lot and say "I'd invite you but you probably wouldn't have a good time, you're kind of tied down"(if she counters and comes out, you need to get flirty and physical, don't try to kiss her or anything, but you're going to want to dance, and dance dirty) tell her how much fun you had, how her bf should take her out more, how you'd like to do that again sometime. By this point you're dating, she just doesn't realize it, now is you chance to start making her BF look terrible, pick one or two things that make up a chunk of his character and talk trash about them without mentioning him, like you said he was a pothead, you can talk about how stupid it is to waste your life high all the time etc.., take her out on dates, eventually her boyfriend is going to be pissed off, you should hope that by this point(about 4 weeks) she has swayed a bit to your side. and you need to say things like "I don't want to cause any problems in your life, I just like spending time with you"; "I really wish your boyfriend wasn't making it so hard for us to hang out"; etc...then you just have to play her annoyance at her boyfriend, keep turning up the intensity on her, until you close the deal.

*do not mention that you are better than her boyfriend, mention why, let her make the connection

*be cool to her friends NO MATTER WHAT, they will be helping her come decision time

*if asked to hang out with her and the BF don't, just say you wouldn't want to intrude on their time

*if a situation forces you to, be cool about it, but limit what you say to him, just joke around, make him laugh at your jokes, make him like you

*DO NOT give her an ultimatum, you'll lose every time, she might leave her BF but it won't be for you

*DO the little things, open doors, give her sincere compliments(not you look hot, instead, your hair looks cool, I like that shirt on you, when did you get it), if you go out to eat don't offer to pay, just do it, if she protests say "you will never pay for a thing when you're with me, its the least I can do"

That should be enough right there, obviously use that as a guideline, adjust it to fit yourself, the most important thing is don't bullshit, and play with what you have, don't wish you had other things.

Ok, I've stolen a lot of girls out of a lot of relationships, not because I'm an asshole who thinks thats fun...

Uh, stealing another guy's girlfriend? Not because you're an asshole? Hmm...

...just because I put myself and what I want ahead of other people, especially random dudes who have girls I want.

That's wonderful.

Ok, I've stolen a lot of girls out of a lot of relationships, not because I'm an asshole who thinks thats fun; just because I put myself and what I want ahead of other people, especially random dudes who have girls I want. Getting girls who are in relationships is pretty easy. The key is to start out at friends, ask her to go to the mall and do other things that friends in your area would do(every city/town has its own recreational opportunities), get her to hang out with you and your friends(assuming they aren't weirdos) and you hang out with her and her friends, be cool(act like you aren't desperate to be with her) be funny(but not a douchebag or a dumbass) don't be afraid to make fun of yourself a little, but make sure its not for something serious, make jokes about something that you do reasonably well and force her to praise you for it. Try to impress her by talking about contributions you make to things that you do, not by talking about just what you do, but how you affect things. Don't go on at length about it, just drop a few lines here and there. Give her something to brag to her friends about, you can be an all around awesome guy, but you have to be something so she can say "he is a (insert whatever)" Give her a call now and again just to talk about your days and whatever, keep the calls short, under a half hour, if you talk to her online make sure its all fun, nothing serious joke around, don't talk about her problems or anything, unless she wants to vent about something(when shes done just say something like, "wow, thats shitty, i hope tomorrow is better") The trick during this period, and it shouldn't take more than 2 weeks is to make yourself seem impressive and fun. Make sure you're always asking open ended questions about things that she mentions. But never talk about her boyfriend, if she starts to talk about her boyfriend thats fine, use this as an opportunity to find out stuff about him(seem nonintrusive, ask open ended questions, play to his faults).

Now you start to heavy hit, when you hang out say stuff like, "I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind that we've been hanging out so much"; "you don't seem like a girl tied down in a relationship, you have fun". If you're going to a big party or club talk to her about it a lot and say "I'd invite you but you probably wouldn't have a good time, you're kind of tied down"(if she counters and comes out, you need to get flirty and physical, don't try to kiss her or anything, but you're going to want to dance, and dance dirty) tell her how much fun you had, how her bf should take her out more, how you'd like to do that again sometime. By this point you're dating, she just doesn't realize it, now is you chance to start making her BF look terrible, pick one or two things that make up a chunk of his character and talk trash about them without mentioning him, like you said he was a pothead, you can talk about how stupid it is to waste your life high all the time etc.., take her out on dates, eventually her boyfriend is going to be pissed off, you should hope that by this point(about 4 weeks) she has swayed a bit to your side. and you need to say things like "I don't want to cause any problems in your life, I just like spending time with you"; "I really wish your boyfriend wasn't making it so hard for us to hang out"; etc...then you just have to play her annoyance at her boyfriend, keep turning up the intensity on her, until you close the deal.

*do not mention that you are better than her boyfriend, mention why, let her make the connection

*be cool to her friends NO MATTER WHAT, they will be helping her come decision time

*if asked to hang out with her and the BF don't, just say you wouldn't want to intrude on their time

*if a situation forces you to, be cool about it, but limit what you say to him, just joke around, make him laugh at your jokes, make him like you

*DO NOT give her an ultimatum, you'll lose every time, she might leave her BF but it won't be for you

*DO the little things, open doors, give her sincere compliments(not you look hot, instead, your hair looks cool, I like that shirt on you, when did you get it), if you go out to eat don't offer to pay, just do it, if she protests say "you will never pay for a thing when you're with me, its the least I can do"

That should be enough right there, obviously use that as a guideline, adjust it to fit yourself, the most important thing is don't bullshit, and play with what you have, don't wish you had other things.

Thank you very much for your advice. But I am still doing the laxitive thing. I will try to be the girls friend when her current boyfriend is on the toilet.

try a lasso, it sometimes works

Just be natural, involve yourself in mixed gender activities and talk to girls. Befriend them. Ignore the fact that you are of opposite genders, don't let sex into the equation unless you and the girl both desire to do so.

1. Stop staring at her, it gives her the creeps
2. Give up, you'll never get her

Though most of my romance advice sux . . .
Todays Romans:

Don't bother breaking up the couple; it'll only cause the girl you like a lot of pain; besides, I'm pretty sure ya want the girl you like (even if you're not with her) to be happy


Then again my romance life really bites - I'm good friends with some really pretty AND smart girls, but they (nor I) really want a relationship together . . . and then I have all the ugly girls who befriend me as a joke (I just tell em off; I don't like playing into these people's games) which really POes me

first...ju get the money
then...ju get the power
after that...ju get the weemen

Does that sound like a plan?

Get a life.
What kind of fucktard are you to break up a couple? If she is not happy with him she will leave him eventually, otherwise its none of you business.

Agreed.

Get a life.
What kind of fucktard are you to break up a couple? If she is not happy with him she will leave him eventually, otherwise its none of you business.
Agreed. Stick to the single girls mate.

Dude, forget the girl, join the military.

What kind of fucktard are you to break up a couple?

fucktard..oi. I love that word!

Thank you very much for your advice. But I am still doing the laxitive thing. I will try to be the girls friend when her current boyfriend is on the toilet.

Okay..idiot..and I am only calling you an idiot because I love you and I tell the truth to those I love...you Idiot...the laxitive thing is illegal...if you are found out you will be put in jai, malicious mischief at best and attempted murder at worse...think about it...life is not a movie...in real life, shit like this does not work out...we do not live inside a Bugs Bunny cartoon and i don't care what quantum physicist say...don't do it because idiot..next thing you know you will be in a nice comfy cell and your cellmate Bubba will be giving you the flesh laxative...am i clear?

Can someone tell me how to get a girl that has a boyfriend?

You're worthless. Commit suicide now, please.

Okay..idiot..and I am only calling you an idiot because I love you and I tell the truth to those I love...you Idiot...the laxitive thing is illegal...if you are found out you will be put in jail malicious mischief at best and attempted murder at worse...think about it...life is not the movie...in real life, shit like this does not work out...we do not live inside a Bugs Bunny cartoon and i don't care what quantum physicist say...don't do it because idiot..next you know you will be in a nice comfy cell and your cellmate Bubba will be giving you the flesh laxative...am i clear?



My only concern is that not only is the laxative thing is illegal and you could get in serious trouble, but it would be difficult to pull off and it wouldn't guarantee that she would break up with him. If you want her to break up with him the (semi) legal way, you're going to have to invest some capital. Hire an escort or a hooker to come on to him or pick him up. Videotape or photograph the whole thing and then send them to her anonymously. Then you should just happen to stop by her place and comfort her in her time of need. If she still doesn't want to be with you, then, oh well, you've just screwed up two peoples lives for no apparent reason. It happens.

Okay..idiot..and I am only calling you an idiot because I love you and I tell the truth to those I love...you Idiot...the laxitive thing is illegal...if you are found out you will be put in jail malicious mischief at best and attempted murder at worse...think about it...life is not the movie...in real life, shit like this does not work out...we do not live inside a Bugs Bunny cartoon and i don't care what quantum physicist say...don't do it because idiot..next you know you will be in a nice comfy cell and your cellmate Bubba will be giving you the flesh laxative...am i clear?

Bah. Ignore these scare stories. Even if you get imprisoned for malicious mischief, you can continue your malicious mischief from behind bars! Give laxatives to one of the prison guards and make a jailbreak while he's on the shitter!

On a serious note, who cares about some obscure malicious mischief law. Just do it. After all, if you just "let it be" because that's the "way things are meant to be", you'll be kicking yourself more than you will be in prison. I swear you will.

Don't let some archaic laws get in the way of your ingenious, darwinistic plan. Like I said, if you pull it off, you deserve the girl! Do it!

Bah. Ignore these scare stories. Even if you get imprisoned for malicious mischief, you can continue your malicious mischief from behind bars! Give laxatives to one of the prison guards and make a jailbreak while he's on the shitter!

On a serious note, who cares about some obscure malicious mischief law. Just do it. After all, if you just "let it be" because that's the "way things are meant to be", you'll be kicking yourself more than you will be in prison. I swear you will.

Don't let some archaic laws get in the way of your ingenious, darwinistic plan. Like I said, if you pull it off, you deserve the girl! Do it!
you just want to see him get that AWARD don't you?

Oh, come on. I thought that award was for people who had died in stupid ways. You're not going to die in prison. (Or driving around with your hot new girlfriend you accquired through dubious means)

Ok your telling me that it is illegal to do put laxitives in someones drink? Well I have no intent on killing him or even hurting him. The only legal thing I could see is getting sued. Are you sure it is illegal? I have known people that have used laxitives for revenge.

Ok your telling me that it is illegal to do put laxitives in someones drink? Well I have no intent on killing him or even hurting him. The only legal thing I could see is getting sued. Are you sure it is illegal? I have known people that have used laxitives for revenge.
Okay,nevermind...just do it..like Nike says..i am sure you will get the girl.

can we give Darwin Award's in advance?

Ok your telling me that it is illegal to do put laxitives in someones drink? Well I have no intent on killing him or even hurting him. The only legal thing I could see is getting sued. Are you sure it is illegal? I have known people that have used laxitives for revenge.


Poisoning someone to do them physical harm, is at the very least assault.

Poisoning someone to do them physical harm, is at the very least assault.
Assault and battery, you are harming the person...

iLock pending Moderator review.

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