NationStates Jolt Archive


Holiday Paranoia and the Tooth Fairy

Arenestho
21-12-2004, 09:01
Don't read any further if:
You value your sanity
Can't laugh
Believe in fairy tales

'The tooth fairy' is a supernatural conspiracy to take the genetic material of young children and create a clone army to destroy the world. The tooth fairy is something not of this world that collects genetic material from teeth. It masks it's evil plans with giving children money. If you are deemed unworthy of being a clone army drone, then the tooth fairy invades your parents and or siblings minds to make them do something crafty to discontinue the belief. Do not be fooled by her villany!

Santa cannot be trusted! Santa isn't the jolly Coca Cola Santa we all think he is. He is a skinny elf that implants mind subversion chips into his gifts so as to turn little children into mindless drones, ripe for the picking. These drones he will indoctrinate to become Nazis! Don't accept gifts from Santa!

Not even the Easter Bunny is without hidden meanings, he was in on it too. His plan, to give raw eggs which go bad to children, thus poisoning the world population with salmonella, making it even riper for Santa's Nazi children and the Tooth Fairy's clone army. Fortuneatly the KGB and CIA have already realized this, and has replace the original with a clone, giving out chocolate instead. But beware, for he may soon come under the wing of the holiday villains still at large!

Even the Leprechauns are in on it, making rainbows and luring people to starve to death in the forests as they search for pots of gold, thus even further weakening Earth's defenses!

Do not be fooled by the villainous fairy tales!