-Verbatim-
20-12-2004, 23:22
On a sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Well gee, that's the only time I get to do my hair!)
On a bag of fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase nescassary! Details inside!
(The shoplifter's special!)
On a bar of dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(...and that would be how?)
On a cake box:
Do not turn upside down (this is printed on bottom of box)
(Too late, you lose!)
On bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment!)
On packaging for clothing iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
On children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery after taking medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those five year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness
(What a surprise eh?)
On a Korean cooking knife:
Warning: Keep OUT of children
(Hmmm....something must have gotten lost in the translation.)
On a string of christmas lights:
For indoor and outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...where?)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Boy, now I'm curious.)
On a bag of peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instuctions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got payed big bucks to write that one!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead...destroy a universal childhood belief!)
Do not use while sleeping.
(Well gee, that's the only time I get to do my hair!)
On a bag of fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase nescassary! Details inside!
(The shoplifter's special!)
On a bar of dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(...and that would be how?)
On a cake box:
Do not turn upside down (this is printed on bottom of box)
(Too late, you lose!)
On bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment!)
On packaging for clothing iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
On children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery after taking medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those five year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness
(What a surprise eh?)
On a Korean cooking knife:
Warning: Keep OUT of children
(Hmmm....something must have gotten lost in the translation.)
On a string of christmas lights:
For indoor and outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...where?)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Boy, now I'm curious.)
On a bag of peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instuctions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got payed big bucks to write that one!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead...destroy a universal childhood belief!)