NationStates Jolt Archive

It's another stupid *insert country/whatever* vs. *insert country/whatever* thread!!!

Who will win in an all-out war?

You have Satan in the politically correct colour one corner (changed from black due to objection), with his army of zombies, witches, demons, homosexuals, gluttons, the horsemen of the apocalypse, rock musicians, murderers, the French and all sorts of other evil things.

In the politically correct colour two corner (changed from white due to objection), you have God, with his army of archangels, Mormons, nuns, and um, that's it I guess.

So.

Who wins?

Or will an army of non-religious people laugh away as they annihilate eachother and destroy eachother utterly...and humanity is better off, with no more problems?

It's another stupid *insert country/whatever* vs. *insert country/whatever* thread!!!

Who will win in an all-out war?

You have Satan in the black corner, with his army of zombies, witches, demons, homosexuals, gluttons, the horsemen of the apocalypse, rock musicians, murderers, the French and all sorts of other evil things.

In the white corner, you have God, with his army of archangels, Mormons, nuns, and um, that's it I guess.

So.

Who wins?

Or will an army of non-religious people laugh away as they annihilate eachother and destroy eachother utterly...and humanity is better off, with no more problems?The outcome is already known if you read the Bible.
There was already one such war but there will be a second one. The first time around God beat the crap out of Satan and banished his sorry ass to earth.
The second war, God is going to completely obliterate Satan. Cause he gave Satan a second chance and Satan is completely blowing it.

But that hasn't happened yet, it's just war propaganda. All sides do it. The Germans said they were going to win both world wars too.

yo bring on the neil young. in other news - why is blackness always associated with evil, and thus coolness? hmmm? why can't satan be in the white corner. it is stuff like this. prejudiced writing that makes middle class white kids feel they're not as cool as the black kids. whats wrong with you people?

Will there be beer?

Well I work at Hell pizza, and most of the workers are dodgy boy racer types (I got wasted with them on the weekend heh, spoting off the stove) and we wear scungy black tshirts. Down the road is Divine Pizzas where all the workers are rather hot young ladies wearing pristine white tshirts.

We win in the sales at least because of the franchise :P

Satan will urinate on the Son of God!!!

...and the sluts shall rule for eternity. Amen! :cool:

Will there be beer?

there'd better be.

yo bring on the neil young. in other news - why is blackness always associated with evil, and thus coolness? hmmm? why can't satan be in the white corner. it is stuff like this. prejudiced writing that makes middle class white kids feel they're not as cool as the black kids. whats wrong with you people?

Huh? I don't know where you pulled a link to racism from but I take it you're on side 3. OK lets just say they're "politically correct colour 1" and "politically correct colour 2"

there'd better be.

Damn straight. What do you think Satan urinates? I wanna see Jesus drenched in beer.

Well I work at Hell pizza, and most of the workers are dodgy boy racer types (I got wasted with them on the weekend heh, spoting off the stove) and we were scungy black tshirts. Down the road is Divine Pizzas where all the workers are rather hot young ladies wearing pristine white tshirts.

We win in the sales at least because of the franchise :P

Haha :D

Huh? I don't know where you pulled a link to racism from but I take it you're on side 3.


yo - its cos we are brought up from a young age to believe that colour has intrinsic values, above the things that are coloured a certain way. god is always in the 'white' corner. metaphors always relate darkness, or darker colours to the more sinister. you're just fuelling the fire that we're all gonna burn in. fucking race war breeding hate monger. (jokes)

there'd better be.
good... or else I'm not coming

none of the answers are right. Think about it, they cant destroy each other, otherwise neither would exist. (no good without evil...blah blah)
I reckon we'd be left in a world without religion. That'd be interesting.

The outcome is already known if you read the Bible.
There was already one such war but there will be a second one. The first time around God beat the crap out of Satan and banished his sorry ass to earth.
The second war, God is going to completely obliterate Satan. Cause he gave Satan a second chance and Satan is completely blowing it.

Why does God need a war? Why doesn't he snap his fingers? Why is Satan still around for that matter?

yo - its cos we are brought up from a young age to believe that colour has intrinsic values, above the things that are coloured a certain way. god is always in the 'white' corner. metaphors always relate darkness, or darker colours to the more sinister. you're just fuelling the fire that we're all gonna burn in. fucking race war breeding hate monger. (jokes)

I do believe it comes from Day (Good) vs. Night (Evil)...supposedly, anyway.

Why does God need a war? Why doesn't he snap his fingers? Why is Satan still around for that matter?

Yeah, see? It's just war propaganda because God is old and decrepit and he needs other people to do all the fighting for him. Not that Satan is innocent, mind you.

Who does everyone think the referee would be?

Why does God need a war? Why doesn't he snap his fingers? Why is Satan still around for that matter?
The first time, it was to make the angels feel good about themselves by letting them fight it. Lead by none other than Jesus Christ they totally whipped Satan's ass and his hordes of demons.
But in the second one, Satan, the demons, the gays, the Hitlers, the athiests, the muslims, the hindus, the materialists, the prostitutes, the demigods, and everyone else who has ever hated the christians and or the jews will march against the city of New Jerusalem but this time God won't pull any stops. He will zap them into obliteration with his holy lightening from heaven. Completely removing them from existance for ever. It will be like they never existed.

The first time, it was to make the angels feel good about themselves by letting them fight it. Lead by none other than Jesus Christ they totally whipped Satan's ass and his hordes of demons.
But in the second one, Satan, the demons, the gays, the Hitlers, the athiests, the muslims, the hindus, the materialists, the prostitutes, the demigods, and everyone else who has ever hated the christians and or the jews will march against the city of New Jerusalem but this time God won't pull any stops. He will zap them into obliteration with his holy lightening from heaven. Completely removing them from existance for ever. It will be like they never existed.

That's some pretty cool propaganda. Anyone got some Satanic propaganda? We gotta keep this thread unbiased.

That's some pretty cool propaganda. Anyone got some Satanic propaganda? We gotta keep this thread unbiased.
Jesus was actually Satan. So "Jesus" kicked Satan's ass so people would believe in "Jesus", who actually was Satan :eek:

God versus Satan I:
Revelation 12: 7-9 : " And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
8. And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.
9. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him."

First time around, Satan got his ass handed to him.
BTW, Michael is another name for Jesus. And dragon is another name for Satan.

In the politically correct colour two corner (changed from white due to objection), you have God, with his army of archangels, Mormons, nuns, and um, that's it I guess.

Mormons and nuns (at least the ones I've met. If I'm wrong, let me know :) ) aren't really Christian. Before you explode, let me explain. In the Bible it says that you have to believe in Jesus Christ as your personal savior to be a Christian. You have to recognize you are a sinner and sincerely repent in order to be saved. No number of good works can save you and Jesus is the only entity that can provide forgiveness for sins. It is my understanding that there are a lot of Catholics and Mormons who have gotten away from this system of beliefs. Therefore, those in that category aren't really Christians, and thus, are not on God's side. On God's side, however, you do have God, his angels, and all born-again Christians.

Jesus was actually Satan. So "Jesus" kicked Satan's ass so people would believe in "Jesus", who actually was Satan :eek:

*thinks*

Hmm.

*Thinks about all bad things done in Jesus' name*

You could be onto something. :p

God versus Satan I:
Revelation 12: 7-9 : " And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
8. And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.
9. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him."

First time around, Satan got his ass handed to him.
BTW, Michael is another name for Jesus. And dragon is another name for Satan.

But Satan has been getting ready for a rematch for many years. You can't count him out before he's down.

BTW, Michael is another name for Jesus. And dragon is another name for Satan.
Michael Christ does sound worse than Jesus Christ. They probably did it for some marketing reasons

Michael is another name for Jesus.
Ummmmm...not exactly...

Mormons and nuns (at least the ones I've met. If I'm wrong, let me know :) ) aren't really Christian. Before you explode, let me explain. In the Bible it says that you have to believe in Jesus Christ as your personal savior to be a Christian. You have to recognize you are a sinner and sincerely repent in order to be saved. No number of good works can save you and Jesus is the only entity that can provide forgiveness for sins. It is my understanding that there are a lot of Catholics and Mormons who have gotten away from this system of beliefs. Therefore, those in that category aren't really Christians, and thus, are not on God's side. On God's side, however, you do have God, his angels, and all born-again Christians.

So are you saying that only certain types of Christians get to heaven? :p

And the Mormons do so get to heaven. South Park said so.

God versus Satan part 2:

Revelation 12:13-17 " 13. And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.
14. And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent.
15. And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.
16. And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.
17. And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ."

Revelation 19:11-21" And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
12. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.
13. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.
14. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.
15. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.
16. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.
17. And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God;
18. That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great.
19. And I saw the beast, and the kings of the earth, and their armies, gathered together to make war against him that sat on the horse, and against his army.
20. And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.
21. And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh."
As you can see, most of mankind sides with Satan and, well, regrets it.

Revelation 20: 1. And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand.
2. And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,
3. And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.
7. And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison,
8. And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog, and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea.
9. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.
10. And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
11. And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them.
13. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
14. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.
15. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire."

God versus Satan part 2:

Comeon, like i've said, it's just propaganda and they're trying to win people over. I'm sure theres a Satanic version that says the opposite.

*Thinks about all bad things done in Jesus' name*

You could be onto something. :p

Ok....This whole "bad things done in the name of Christianity" thing is getting old. Those things were done by worldly governments with no actual Christian values using Jesus as an excuse they thought everyone else would fall for. Saying that represents all Christians is like saying those involved in 9/11 represented all of Islam.

Ok....This whole "bad things done in the name of Christianity" thing is getting old. Those things were done by worldly governments with no actual Christian values using Jesus as an excuse they thought everyone else would fall for. Saying that represents all Christians is like saying those involved in 9/11 represented all of Islam.

Don't take it personally. There is good and bad done in the name of nearly everything.

(Although, it's an interesting theory. If Jesus was actually Satan in disguise, his mission could have been accomplished quite nicely. Same for Mohammed, etc.)

Ok....This whole "bad things done in the name of Christianity" thing is getting old. Those things were done by worldly governments with no actual Christian values using Jesus as an excuse they thought everyone else would fall for. Saying that represents all Christians is like saying those involved in 9/11 represented all of Islam.
Just remember that if it wasn't for the mulsims, there would be no such thing as holy war cause they are the ones who invented it. They were the first to go out and attack other nations in the name of religion. The only thing is that stuff comes back full circle to those who start and holy war has come back to haunt its inventors. They picked the wrong nation to declare jihad on.

So are you saying that only certain types of Christians get to heaven? :p

And the Mormons do so get to heaven. South Park said so.
No, not certain types (I thought that was a Catholic thing). True Christians. The kind who believe and have trusted Jesus for salvation through his death on the cross. Not the kind who go to church on Christmas and Easter just because, or the kind that go every Sunday but never actually get to know God personally. And I'm not sure South Park is the best source of information on theology. :p

And I'm not sure South Park is the best source of information on theology. :p

Ah, Well, back to the Simpsons and Monty Python it is. :D

No, not certain types (I thought that was a Catholic thing). True Christians. The kind who believe and have trusted Jesus for salvation through his death on the cross. Not the kind who go to church on Christmas and Easter just because, or the kind that go every Sunday but never actually get to know God personally. And I'm not sure South Park is the best source of information on theology. :p
Revelation 21:1. And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
2. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
3. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
4. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
5. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
6. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
7. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
8. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
9. And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife.
10. And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God,
11. Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;
12. And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel:
13. On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates.
14. And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
15. And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof.
16. And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.
17. And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred and forty and four cubits, according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel.
18. And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass.
19. And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald;
20. The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst.
21. And the twelve gates were twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
22. And I saw no temple therein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it.
23. And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof.
24. And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it.
25. And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there.
26. And they shall bring the glory and honour of the nations into it.
27. And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Revelation 22: 10. And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.
11. He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still.
12. And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.
13. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.
14. Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
15. For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Revelation 21:1

Enough, too much of it brain my melted

Quit quoting the bible. We're talking ANOTHER war here. Somewhere in the future

Quit quoting the bible. We're talking ANOTHER war here. Somewhere in the future

You're wrong!

REV 2:16... "Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth."

Do you want me coming onto you with the sword of my mouth?

Quit quoting the bible. We're talking ANOTHER war here. Somewhere in the future
Ummmm...That's what the book of Reevelation is about. :)

the day people honestly believe that a smiling dude in a white shawl can battle with a horned, winged monster with goats legs who can breathe fire is the day i give up on life. like my mum says, if you can believe in god you can believe in anything

You're wrong!

REV 2:16... "Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth."

Do you want me coming onto you with the sword of my mouth?

Barry 3:41... "Then Jesus said to Moses.. Takes one to know one..."

if you can believe in god you can believe in anything
If you can believe in true happiness and joy and hope and unconditional love and your own physical life, you can believe in God.

Ummmm...That's what the book of Reevelation is about. :)
But they didn't know there were nukes by now did they?

Barry 3:41... "Then Jesus said to Moses.. Takes one to know one..."

Psalm 119:11... "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." (The bible sucks for comebacks)

But they didn't know there were nukes by now did they?
What do nukes have to do with anything?

If you can believe in true happiness and joy and hope and unconditional love and your own physical life, you can believe in God.

that stuff's all good. its the lake of fire, virgin birth, winged horned beastys wih goats legs, walking on water blud in your eyes - cup of ater cup of blood feeding the multitude with (what i can only imagine must have been some fucking enourmous) loaves of bread. all a bit uch really

like my mum says, if you can believe in god you can believe in anything

Luke 1:37... "For with God nothing shall be impossible."

www.randombibleverses.com - "Pretend that you know the bible" :D

What do nukes have to do with anything?
exactly

Holy shit!

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/images/southparkjs.jpg

Holy shit!

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/otto/images/southparkjs.jpg

See? South Park is the definitive theologists resource.

As a Catholic, I had a place reserved in the box seats up above (or down below if your in Oz 'cos EVERYONE knows heaven is north). But then Whittier comes along an' quotes scripture an' then I can't read it without falling asleep, so thanks to that I've lost my booking and it's being given to Jeb Bush instead. How d'you think that makes me feel. Oh, it's really turning into one of those days............. :mad:

Luke 1:37... "For with God nothing shall be impossible."

www.randombibleverses.com - "Pretend that you know the bible" :D

quoting the bible is never a good basis for belief in the existence of god. its like if a guy's on trial and in his diary it says 'definitely DID NOT kill any small children on the 26th' would you let him off even though all the evidence supports the fact that he is a child murdering peed? i think not. do not quote the bible in defense of god. its just not right and it makes no sense

quoting the bible is never a good basis for belief in the existence of god. its like if a guy's on trial and in his diary it says 'definitely DID NOT kill any small children on the 26th' would you let him off even though all the evidence supports the fact that he is a child murdering peed? i think not. do not quote the bible in defense of god. its just not right and it makes no sense

Dude. I'm not a (practicing) Christian, I was taking the piss by going to a random bible quote website looking for some vain quote that fit :D

Dude. I'm not a (practicing) Christian, I was taking the piss by going to a random bible quote website looking for some vain quote that fit :D


yeah i know - u rule. the rest of the quoters and haters seemed to hardcore to openly post against. who wants fire and brimstone on their doorstep? not me

yeah i know - u rule. the rest of the quoters and haters seemed to hardcore to openly post against. who wants fire and brimstone on their doorstep? not me

Don't worry, I came up with a solution!

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=381230 :D

yeah i know - u rule. the rest of the quoters and haters seemed to hardcore to openly post against. who wants fire and brimstone on their doorstep? not me
Fire and Brimstone shall be cast upon the doorsteps of all the heathen unbelievers. :gundge:

jesus!!

everyone else who has ever hated the christians and or the jews According to you, born agains will be Satanic, because they hated God (like me… the regenerate fanatic). Hey, that's good. I want to lead a company of Templars as the Regenerate Fanatic!


God will win, God will win…

The reason Satan's still around is to provide the enemy. He's not very powerful, though. All he does is possess people and make them deny his existence.

It's spelt Daemon. Not Demon, Daemon. Maybe even Dæmon.