NationStates Jolt Archive

Why Men Are Just Happier People:

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding Plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. Farting is almost natural.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood -- all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!

And it's all so true...

And it's all so true...
Heh! Well, I don't know about that, but I thought it was funny. :)

well you know what they say
you can't say happiness without saying penis

And we still die younger...
leaving the widow with the funeral arrangements, expenses, taxes, etc.

Farting is almost natural.

I think it's time to bring up our old pal Maddox (Click (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com/c.cgi?u=women_smell))

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Damn, My last pack cost $2.95, have they gone up that much in the past 20 years?!

Why Men Are Just Happier People

To be honest, I didn't know we were. :x

We don't bleed profusely for 5 days every month? I'm betting it can be traced directly to that.

We don't bleed profusely for 5 days every month? I'm betting it can be traced directly to that.
Not true if your low-class or in High School.


And you messed up on one thing, one pair of shoes is more than enough. Hell, no shoes is alright too!

And we still die younger...
leaving the widow with the funeral arrangements, expenses, taxes, etc.
and the kids :)

Not true if your low-class or in High School.
Yes, it's a little known fact that low-class people and high schoolers actually do not menstruate, despite what physiology may tell you.

Yes, it's a little known fact that low-class people and high schoolers actually do not menstruate, despite what physiology may tell you.
Actually I meant the amount of time we beat up/get beat up...but same thing.

everybody knows its because God hateses women cuz they stoleses his appleses... duh!

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
I have no objection to women doing either of these things. unfortunately if I were with my wife I would be led around with a blindfold on.


You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
If you mean auto mechanics, the first sentence explains the second.


New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
We buy the correct size.


One mood -- all the time.
Grouchy


Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
I would never tie up the phone line that long.


You know stuff about tanks.
That's what makes me happy!


A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
One pair of underware
two shirts.
two shorts
one pair of tennis shoes
Swim trunks
OK I'm ready give me a plastic bag!


You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
I can't remember any of those.


If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.Hell yeah, they probably saved me some money by not going.


Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.
O.K. you got me. My wife buys my underware. If not for that fact, and the fact that she throws out the ones with holes I wouldn't know which of the five holes my legs should go through.


Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
I have a lot more than three pair. I have like 5 pair. (I keep two pair hidden, these are old holey tennis shoes I keep in case I need them for something. Like...well... I don't know...SOMETHING O.K.!)


You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Apparently I also am blind to stuff left on the bottom step that needs to be carried upstairs.


The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Mine's lasted since the 70s!


You only have to shave your face and neck.
I'm suppose to shave my neck now too!?


You can play with toys all your life.
You obviously have not seen my wife's beanie baby collection.


Your belly usually hides your big hips.
My belly hides my very petite hips, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
I prefer to use my teeth actually.


You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
25 minutes.
Can you say Chia Head? Cha Cha Chia!

You almost never have strap problems in public.

Crotch adjustment is sometimes problematic though.

We don't care and are proud of it

Well, some of it is true, while not all of it. There are real men out there that are not still stuck in the dark-ages of the Alpha-male and in fact consider a relationship or marriage as a partnership. Those tend to be the relationships/marriages that last. :cool:

Well, some of it is true, while not all of it. There are real men out there that are not still stuck in the dark-ages of the Alpha-male and in fact consider a relationship or marriage as a partnership. Those tend to be the relationships/marriages that last. :cool:

My dad viewed marriages as partnerships and his didn't last with my mom...

My dad viewed marriages as partnerships and his didn't last with my mom...

Well, there are exceptions to every rule..lol

Maybe your mom didn't feel the same way as your dad?

There are no absolutes in this life, except we are born and we die.. every thing else is rather up in the air.

Why Men Are Just Happier People:

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding Plans take care of themselves.
yep, all true for me.


Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

all true as well.


Car mechanics tell you the truth.

why would i need a mechanic, when i can fix my own car?

The world is your urinal.
is it really that difficult for you to pee in a bathroom? i mean, is that so important that you count is as something that makes you truly happy? that's sad.


You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

dude, only a whiney little girl would be unable to hold it...once we are on the road, we ain't stopping unless there's a truck full of solid gold strippers with a flat.


You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

who does?


Same work, more pay.

never been a concern...i make more than any of my male friends :).


Wrinkles add character.

no, they don't, on anybody (male or female). men like to think wrinkles make them look more distinguished, but women actually don't think so...women are attracted to older men because of MONEY, not because they like your wrinkled ass.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.

getting married in my bikini: priceless.


People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them

dude, that makes you HAPPY?! i love it when guys do that!


The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. Farting is almost natural.

the thing is, when you start dating a woman you have to quit with that stuff around her or she is grossed out and you don't get any. when i'm with my boyfriend, on the other hand, i am with somebody who appreciates a good belching contest.


New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

i have the bonus of being able to buy kid's sneakers (nice little girl feet), so i get comfy shoes for $30 less than the same pair would cost in adult sizes. yay for girl feet!


One mood -- all the time.

did you know that men actually have more mood swings than women, by far? the male hormonal cycle is 20 minutes, in fact, and documentation of male emotional outbursts shows men are far more volitile than women when it comes to expressing their mood swings. just a little trivia for you...i'm a raging bitch, myself, and i would never be content with just one mood :).


Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

my phone conversations last longer than 30 seconds because i know more stuff about tanks than can be said in 30 seconds.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

who the hell have you been dating, that would take more?!

You can open all your own jars.

sure i can, but why bother when you can get somebody else to do it for you?


You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

yeah, i sure do :).


If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

nobody would forget to invite me. i'm just that special.


Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

yep.


Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

yep.


You only have to shave your face and neck.

i don't have to shave anything.


You can play with toys all your life.

yay for Legos!


Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

i suppose my belly would hide my big hips, if i had either one...i like to not be fat and nasty, though. the rest is all true.


You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
now the mustache i am jealous of...i want a beard, frankly, and that's the one point i will concede.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
25 minutes.
25 relatives? that's your first mistake! i keep it to a trim 6 relatives, and no more than 4 friends for whom i am expected to buy gifts. shopping is done online, and presents are delivered and wrapped by the online store. if it takes longer than an hour i cut somebody from the list. :P

@ Bottle: You dont understand the pleasure of a well needed pee.

Which means taking pleasure from the small things is a skill men have that women dont. Life is more fulfilling if you find the gap between carriages on a train amusing. Also women getting better at taking pleasure from small things would mean we wouldnt have to worry so much about our penis sizes.

I need at least two pairs of shoes, its better for the feet if you alternate, and Im fed up with foot fungus. Right now I have one pair, coming apart at the seams too...

20 minute mood cycle? Mine can be as low as 30 seconds Im sure.

Oh and I have a beard they truely are great, but I wouldnt have a tasche.

On average men are taller, so have bigger strides, walk further more easily and so need the car or bus less.

I will resist to do more than imply something about staring at your chest though. :)

I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

With a comment like that, I can promise if I was with you, it wouldn't take you 5 days ;) :D

With a comment like that, I can promise if I was with you, it wouldn't take you 5 days ;) :D

Lol! I guess some women are more vicious than others . . .

Anyway, I don't think we've mentioned that your behind is never a factor in a job interview. Another reason to be glad you're a man.

Well, some of it is true, while not all of it. There are real men out there that are not still stuck in the dark-ages of the Alpha-male and in fact consider a relationship or marriage as a partnership. Those tend to be the relationships/marriages that last. :cool:

and what about us metrosexual men? I have 15 shoe pairs, I take care of my appearence, and like to cook.

and what about us metrosexual men? I have 15 shoe pairs, I take care of my appearence, and like to cook.
Ever considered homosexuality? :eek: :p

and what about us metrosexual men? I have 15 shoe pairs, I take care of my appearence, and like to cook.
i have a few pairs but they are very different, i live in trainers, have casual and smart shoes... uh... depends what you mean by care about your appearance, but to be honest no one should need 15 pairs of shoes and more than an hour in the bathroom (allowing for a 45 minute shower.maybe and extra 5 minutes if you have lots of hair to deal with), male or female, my housemate always bitches about herself, shes a woman, but i think she looks hottest when shes dressed down in her supposedly scruffiest clothes.

As for cooking, its art and it's food. WHat more could you want in a household chore? Gimee some music and I enjoy cooking too.

And Im never ever a metro sexual. Ever.

what's a metrosexual anyway?

Yea being male is great :) We can focus ourselves on the things that really matter: Science, Power, Wealth, Big Shiny Tanks :) Women allways seem to be distracted by details.

Off topic:

Im not sure if Id call myself a 'beta', I think Im an 'alpha' with 'beta' tendancies, and being an 'alpha' male is not a bad thing if you shed yourself of the problems associated with being one. There are good and bad qualities to both. I have simple values like any 'beta', but I strive for betterment like an 'alpha'. I work up social ladders (albeit more slowly than the quintessential 'alpha'), but I wont resort to some of the cold methods that the common 'alpha' is not adverse to using. What does that make me? I truly dislike the 'alpha' / 'beta' theory for the fact that men and women are far too dynamic to be described in general terms by it.

On topic: (escuse the lack of continuity, Im at work and keep getting pulled away from writing this)

As far as men being generally happier than women... well, we are indeed a far more simplistic creature. Most of us dont require the amount of care and attention in relationships that most women do, but men tend to be provided with all of the care and attention that they need, women - not so much. That said, Id like to ask, are we truly happier? Is that we find it easier to be content in relationships than women? Im not sure, Ive never been any good with relationships anyway (not that I dont try), the good nature and positive demeanor I carry actually causes me a lot of problems here, because its often a little more than a weak visage. Ive had some pretty happy times in my life, but I havent been all that happy for a long time - for reasons that I have identified but cannot discuss here in this forum. Women I think are better in relationships for their nurturing capacity, its a gift that I would say has been left out of most men. Women use this gift to keep relationships healthy, and to make sure that everyone around them is taken care of emotionally. For the most part, women are quite selfless when it comes to this too, the sun warms everyone under it rays - but who warms the sun? What im trying to say is that, if men are happier, its only because we have women around to make us happy and keep us that way. Of course there are other things in life that can make us happy, and there are things we can lack outside of women that will make us sad. The thing is, when youre in a good relationship, all of that melts away. I was reminded this weekend for the first time in a very long time what that feels like - it was a painful experience let me tell you. To feel once again the kind of happiness that only a good woman can give and know that it couldnt last. Yet I long to feel it again - even for all the pain that fills the void it leaves behind when its gone. It haunts me.

what's a metrosexual anyway?

It's a guy whose manhood is one meter long :)

The distribution of instruments and genders in the concert band I play bass in:

6 Flutes -all female

1 Oboe -Male

9 Clarinets -6 female, 3 male

3 Bass Clarinets - 1 female, 2 male

4 Alto Saxophones - 1 female, 3 male

3 Tenor Saxophones - 1 female, 2 male

1 Baritone Saxophone - 1 male

1 French Horn - female

6 Trumpets - 1 Female, 5 male

2 Trombones- All male

1 Baritone Horn - Male

1 Tuba - Male

2 Basses - All male

4 Percussionists - All male

1 Keyboard Percussionist - Female

Can anyone explain such distribution?

Damn, My last pack cost $2.95, have they gone up that much in the past 20 years?!

I paid $ 11.50 Canadian for boxers :mad:

And it's all so true...
and it all ways will be

I paid $ 11.50 Canadian for boxers :mad:
how much is a canadian worth in america

It's a guy whose manhood is one meter long :)
lol that is one of the funniest things ive ever heard

Ever considered homosexuality? :eek: :p

LOL!!!

being metrosexual has nothing to do with homoseuality... please boarden your culture

a metrosexual man is one who likes to dress cool (as in Hugo Boss cool or whatever designer you like), likes to work out, likes to have a balanced life and, of course, likes women

It's a guy whose manhood is one meter long :)
hahaha that would be something to add to my metrosexual list... but alas, I am not that... powerful?

and what about us metrosexual men? I have 15 shoe pairs, I take care of my appearence, and like to cook.

I take care of my appearance somewhat...I have been known to go without shaving for a few days at a time and I cut my own hair, sometimes poorly. I like to cook, but only greasy stuff, and sometimes pancakes. And I don't think I have owned 15 pairs of shoes in my entire lifetime...and I am 22.

Being a metrosexual almost defeats the purpose of being a guy. I cut my own hair really short, wear a goatee so I can get away with not shaving, can wear the same pair of pants a few times without washing them (though not back-to-back days...something about clean pockets) and put off doing my laundry until the last possible minute. On my first date with my girlfriend, we went to a place that had a huge video arcade (I don't know if there are Gameworks anywhere else besides here, but that's where we were) and saw a movie with pirates in it. I take advantage of being a guy while not turning into a total guy. Besides, I don't exactly have the money for 15 pairs of shoes.

I take care of my appearance somewhat...I have been known to go without shaving for a few days at a time and I cut my own hair, sometimes poorly. I like to cook, but only greasy stuff, and sometimes pancakes. And I don't think I have owned 15 pairs of shoes in my entire lifetime...and I am 22.

Being a metrosexual almost defeats the purpose of being a guy. I cut my own hair really short, wear a goatee so I can get away with not shaving, can wear the same pair of pants a few times without washing them (though not back-to-back days...something about clean pockets) and put off doing my laundry until the last possible minute. On my first date with my girlfriend, we went to a place that had a huge video arcade (I don't know if there are Gameworks anywhere else besides here, but that's where we were) and saw a movie with pirates in it. I take advantage of being a guy while not turning into a total guy. Besides, I don't exactly have the money for 15 pairs of shoes.


hey, don't get me wrong, i did not say that having 2 pair of shoes or whatever is wrong... i just said that even though i identify with many points of the list, not all men are like that... though most are

besides, clothing in mexico is not that expensive, and my feet stopped growing since i was 17, so my shoes can last a long time... and i am 23, buying my own stuff with my own oh-so-hard-worked ;) money

When channel surfing, men don't have to stop ever time someone on the television is crying.

how much is a canadian worth in america

About 80 cents US

About 80 cents US

It was 81. some thing cents this morning.

That's why he preceded the "80" with "about."

how much is a canadian worth in americaAbout 80 cents US

Are you saying I can buy a Canuck for eighty cents? ;)

I take care of my appearance somewhat...I have been known to go without shaving for a few days at a time and I cut my own hair, sometimes poorly. I like to cook, but only greasy stuff, and sometimes pancakes. And I don't think I have owned 15 pairs of shoes in my entire lifetime...and I am 22.

Being a metrosexual almost defeats the purpose of being a guy. I cut my own hair really short, wear a goatee so I can get away with not shaving, can wear the same pair of pants a few times without washing them (though not back-to-back days...something about clean pockets) and put off doing my laundry until the last possible minute. On my first date with my girlfriend, we went to a place that had a huge video arcade (I don't know if there are Gameworks anywhere else besides here, but that's where we were) and saw a movie with pirates in it. I take advantage of being a guy while not turning into a total guy. Besides, I don't exactly have the money for 15 pairs of shoes.

I like to feel clean, its not a man thing, we cant get away with smelling because we smell worse. It's just not expected of us to smell pleasant, even though I know girls who still smell fresh after 3 days without changing their clothes (musos incedentally, which explain that neatly). SHaving, that's true, I like my beard because it's a beard, it's great, end of story.

There is a balance between being metrosexual or having the average womans level of care about their appearance, and being skanky. I think more peope of both genders should act like that. (but then this is the guy who finds his housemate most hot when she is wearing her favourate scruffy "comfort clothes" so maybe Im just wierd).