The Roxburry
17-12-2004, 20:42
I got bored and i have a few really funny jokes so I thought i could share these with all of you and hear yours also. I have your momma jokes, blonde jokes, dating jokes and there all pretty funny so have fun. Id say its sort of an open mic thing have your way with it.
Man: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be to if you sit down.
Man:Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. Your going to yours and im goning to mine.
Man: So, whats your sign?
Woman: No Entry.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Well, good then please leave me alone.
Man:Tell me those 3 little words that would make my day.
Woman: Go to Hell.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female impersonator.
Man: Hey there havent i seen you some place before/
Woman: Yes, and thats why I dont go there anymore.
Man: Say, havent we met?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head nurse at the VD clinic.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman; you know, you're dead right...I want you to go away.
Your momma's so fat she saw a bus full of white kids and yelled "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!!"
A blonde gets in an accident, the car is totaled but the blonde is just fine. As the state patrol is pulling up she is re-applying her make-up.
The officer ask's " Why is it the car looks like a mess but you dont have one scratch on you?" The blonde replies " It was the weirdest thing officer i was driving along and this tree swerved out in front of me so I turnede left and there was another, Iturned right and another, left, right, left, right, lef..."
"Uh Ladie" the officer says. "There's not a tree on this road for 30 miles, Thats was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
thats all for now but I have loads more.
Man: So how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be to if you sit down.
Man:Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. Your going to yours and im goning to mine.
Man: So, whats your sign?
Woman: No Entry.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Well, good then please leave me alone.
Man:Tell me those 3 little words that would make my day.
Woman: Go to Hell.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female impersonator.
Man: Hey there havent i seen you some place before/
Woman: Yes, and thats why I dont go there anymore.
Man: Say, havent we met?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head nurse at the VD clinic.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman; you know, you're dead right...I want you to go away.
Your momma's so fat she saw a bus full of white kids and yelled "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!!"
A blonde gets in an accident, the car is totaled but the blonde is just fine. As the state patrol is pulling up she is re-applying her make-up.
The officer ask's " Why is it the car looks like a mess but you dont have one scratch on you?" The blonde replies " It was the weirdest thing officer i was driving along and this tree swerved out in front of me so I turnede left and there was another, Iturned right and another, left, right, left, right, lef..."
"Uh Ladie" the officer says. "There's not a tree on this road for 30 miles, Thats was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
thats all for now but I have loads more.