Klonor
17-12-2004, 04:06
"Hey everybody, lately there's been a number of people coming to our web-site, Red vs Blue, looking for information about Red states versus Blue states."
"Yeah, they all want to complain about each other and they're looking for a new place to do it."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014857.jpg
"We don't really keep up with current events, but apparently from what we've been able to figure out the Red states did something to cause a disaster in the Blue states and now the people are being forced to evacuate to Canada and France. And for some reason the evacuation is being lead by a fat guy from Michigan."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014867.jpg
"We don't really understand a lot of it."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014874.jpg
"Yeah, and the people in the Red states are mad because the people in the Blue states are mean to them and want them to pay money for roads and schools instead of cool things like Nascar and shotguns. Also, there's something about ketchup in there. Like we said, a lot of this stuff doesn't make much sense."
"But our web-site isn't really about large groups of people that hate themselves, it's more about small groups of people that are able to hate on a much more personal level."
"Like I hate Church because he's Blue."
"And I hate Grif because he's not Blue. In fact, he's not even really Red. More like an orangy kinda peach, sorta like somebody threw up and decided to call it a color."
"The Blue idiot's right. This time of year we should all come together and hate as a group, like our ancestors did."
"And what better to hate than turkeys? And what better way to hate them, than to eat them by the millions?"
"Exactly!"
"Hey Sarge, how's the big dinner coming?"
"Well, there's seven of us so I thought one turkey wouldn't cut it."
"Yeah, I can see how only three pounds of meat would leave us unsatisfied."
"Are you familiar with the Turduken?"
"Yeah, that's what I do when I visit the monkey house at the zoo and make them mad."
"Not Turd Ducking, a Turduken. It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey."
"You know, cause the holiday isn't quite gluttonous enough on its own."
"Sounds awesome, is that what we're having?"
"Nope. Although impressive, I decided they stopped short when designing the Turduken."
"Yeah, they seemed like real underachievers there."
"So, I decided to make my own variety."
"What's that, a pole cat stuffed in a possum?"
"No, first we start with a humming bird."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014908.jpg
"A what?"
"Put that in a sparrow."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014914.jpg
"Stuff them both in a cornish hen."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014916.jpg
"Then put that in a chicken!"
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014918.jpg
"Put all that in a duck."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014922.jpg
"Then in a turkey."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014926.jpg
"Then in a bigger turkey."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014867.jpg
"Yeah, they all want to complain about each other and they're looking for a new place to do it."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014857.jpg
"We don't really keep up with current events, but apparently from what we've been able to figure out the Red states did something to cause a disaster in the Blue states and now the people are being forced to evacuate to Canada and France. And for some reason the evacuation is being lead by a fat guy from Michigan."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014867.jpg
"We don't really understand a lot of it."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014874.jpg
"Yeah, and the people in the Red states are mad because the people in the Blue states are mean to them and want them to pay money for roads and schools instead of cool things like Nascar and shotguns. Also, there's something about ketchup in there. Like we said, a lot of this stuff doesn't make much sense."
"But our web-site isn't really about large groups of people that hate themselves, it's more about small groups of people that are able to hate on a much more personal level."
"Like I hate Church because he's Blue."
"And I hate Grif because he's not Blue. In fact, he's not even really Red. More like an orangy kinda peach, sorta like somebody threw up and decided to call it a color."
"The Blue idiot's right. This time of year we should all come together and hate as a group, like our ancestors did."
"And what better to hate than turkeys? And what better way to hate them, than to eat them by the millions?"
"Exactly!"
"Hey Sarge, how's the big dinner coming?"
"Well, there's seven of us so I thought one turkey wouldn't cut it."
"Yeah, I can see how only three pounds of meat would leave us unsatisfied."
"Are you familiar with the Turduken?"
"Yeah, that's what I do when I visit the monkey house at the zoo and make them mad."
"Not Turd Ducking, a Turduken. It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey."
"You know, cause the holiday isn't quite gluttonous enough on its own."
"Sounds awesome, is that what we're having?"
"Nope. Although impressive, I decided they stopped short when designing the Turduken."
"Yeah, they seemed like real underachievers there."
"So, I decided to make my own variety."
"What's that, a pole cat stuffed in a possum?"
"No, first we start with a humming bird."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014908.jpg
"A what?"
"Put that in a sparrow."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014914.jpg
"Stuff them both in a cornish hen."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014916.jpg
"Then put that in a chicken!"
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014918.jpg
"Put all that in a duck."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014922.jpg
"Then in a turkey."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014926.jpg
"Then in a bigger turkey."
http://67.18.37.17/595/43/upload/p1014867.jpg