NationStates Jolt Archive


Merry Christmas, Red States (and Blue states, you're welcome)

Stinky McGee
15-12-2004, 00:14
Twas the night of the voting and across this great land
The liberals were gloating, with victory in hand
The exit polls showed their man doing well
And it looked like the end of this 'Cowboy from Hell'

Liberals were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of socialism danced in their heads
My wife in her jammies and I in the buff
could hardly believe all this exit pole stuff

When outside the house I could see through the blinds
Some nut case was stealing my Bush-Cheney signs
Such behavior's expected among those on the left
Once again using politics to justify theft
Had they come earlier I might go berserk
but election day’s here, they just saved me the work

Back to the news, I turned my attention
The pundits were off in some distant dimension
Kerry - Edwards they said was the probable win
It was shameful, such blatant media spin

The big three and cable kept it close to a tie
Down to the wire they continued their lie
With a false sense of victory the liberals did slumber
Only to awaken to GOP thunder

'How could this have happened, what went awry?'
'No way did we lose to this Republican guy'
For weeks the same song they helplessly sang
Their heads they shook, their hands they wrang

"We did everything right, we raised the most cash"
"We had the best ads, with more substance, more flash"
"We registered more voters than ever before"
"We had F/911 and the great Michael Moore"

"We had Susan Sarandon, P-Ditty, Sean Penn''
"And Bob Woodward who inspired 'All the President's Men'"
"We had MOVE-ON and ACT and the liberal brigades"
"We called George Bush Hitler and blamed him for AIDS"

"We had George Soros to bankroll our liberal cabal"
"We had Krugman and Dowd, Alterman and Rall"
"We had Ed Asner, admittedly not much of a thesbian"
"And Rosie O'donnell that mad cow turned lesbian"

"We can't figure out where we might have gone wrong"
"We even had Springstein grunt out a few songs"
"We're smarter and better than those red state folk"
"How dare they vote for this GOP joke"
"Why don't they vote like us smart folks out east"
"Rather than give 4 more years to the beast"
"It must be religion, it poisons the mind"
"They'll come around, it's a matter of time"


The truth is much simpler then they want to accept
When it comes to campaigning, their simply inept
With a spine of titanium the President stood strong
Never blinking, just knowing his opponents were wrong

With dignity, composure and not a moment too late
Rove handed the democrats their ass on a plate
They've not only been beaten at their own game
Their clulessness promises more of the same

It's par for the course from dems that lose races
To claim election fraud at the polling places
The usual suspects line up to be heard
Sharpton and Jackson among the absurd

So deep is the hatred and liberal woes
Some have sought help from psychology pros
We hope in 4 years, they aren't still stugglin'
Cause it'll be time for our next Republican!

So to all of you who had a liberal dog in this fight
Kiss George Bush's ass, and have a good night!
The Abomination
15-12-2004, 00:25
May not be American.

May not like Bush.

May I be dunked in hot tar, however, if that ain't one hellishly funny poem!
Haloman
15-12-2004, 00:29
Twas the night of the voting and across this great land
The liberals were gloating, with victory in hand
The exit polls showed their man doing well
And it looked like the end of this 'Cowboy from Hell'

Liberals were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of socialism danced in their heads
My wife in her jammies and I in the buff
could hardly believe all this exit pole stuff

When outside the house I could see through the blinds
Some nut case was stealing my Bush-Cheney signs
Such behavior's expected among those on the left
Once again using politics to justify theft
Had they come earlier I might go berserk
but election day’s here, they just saved me the work

Back to the news, I turned my attention
The pundits were off in some distant dimension
Kerry - Edwards they said was the probable win
It was shameful, such blatant media spin

The big three and cable kept it close to a tie
Down to the wire they continued their lie
With a false sense of victory the liberals did slumber
Only to awaken to GOP thunder

'How could this have happened, what went awry?'
'No way did we lose to this Republican guy'
For weeks the same song they helplessly sang
Their heads they shook, their hands they wrang

"We did everything right, we raised the most cash"
"We had the best ads, with more substance, more flash"
"We registered more voters than ever before"
"We had F/911 and the great Michael Moore"

"We had Susan Sarandon, P-Ditty, Sean Penn''
"And Bob Woodward who inspired 'All the President's Men'"
"We had MOVE-ON and ACT and the liberal brigades"
"We called George Bush Hitler and blamed him for AIDS"

"We had George Soros to bankroll our liberal cabal"
"We had Krugman and Dowd, Alterman and Rall"
"We had Ed Asner, admittedly not much of a thesbian"
"And Rosie O'donnell that mad cow turned lesbian"

"We can't figure out where we might have gone wrong"
"We even had Springstein grunt out a few songs"
"We're smarter and better than those red state folk"
"How dare they vote for this GOP joke"
"Why don't they vote like us smart folks out east"
"Rather than give 4 more years to the beast"
"It must be religion, it poisons the mind"
"They'll come around, it's a matter of time"


The truth is much simpler then they want to accept
When it comes to campaigning, their simply inept
With a spine of titanium the President stood strong
Never blinking, just knowing his opponents were wrong

With dignity, composure and not a moment too late
Rove handed the democrats their ass on a plate
They've not only been beaten at their own game
Their clulessness promises more of the same

It's par for the course from dems that lose races
To claim election fraud at the polling places
The usual suspects line up to be heard
Sharpton and Jackson among the absurd

So deep is the hatred and liberal woes
Some have sought help from psychology pros
We hope in 4 years, they aren't still stugglin'
Cause it'll be time for our next Republican!

So to all of you who had a liberal dog in this fight
Kiss George Bush's ass, and have a good night!

Amen, Brother. HEIL BUSH!

Just Kidding. McCain '08!
BastardSword
15-12-2004, 00:51
Twas the night of the voting and across this great land
The liberals were gloating, with victory in hand
The exit polls showed their man doing well
And it looked like the end of this 'Cowboy from Hell'

Liberals were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of socialism danced in their heads
My wife in her jammies and I in the buff
could hardly believe all this exit pole stuff

When outside the house I could see through the blinds
Some nut case was stealing my Bush-Cheney signs
Such behavior's expected among those on the left
Once again using politics to justify theft
Had they come earlier I might go berserk
but election day’s here, they just saved me the work

Back to the news, I turned my attention
The pundits were off in some distant dimension
Kerry - Edwards they said was the probable win
It was shameful, such blatant media spin

The big three and cable kept it close to a tie
Down to the wire they continued their lie
With a false sense of victory the liberals did slumber
Only to awaken to GOP thunder

'How could this have happened, what went awry?'
'No way did we lose to this Republican guy'
For weeks the same song they helplessly sang
Their heads they shook, their hands they wrang

"We did everything right, we raised the most cash"
"We had the best ads, with more substance, more flash"
"We registered more voters than ever before"
"We had F/911 and the great Michael Moore"

"We had Susan Sarandon, P-Ditty, Sean Penn''
"And Bob Woodward who inspired 'All the President's Men'"
"We had MOVE-ON and ACT and the liberal brigades"
"We called George Bush Hitler and blamed him for AIDS"

"We had George Soros to bankroll our liberal cabal"
"We had Krugman and Dowd, Alterman and Rall"
"We had Ed Asner, admittedly not much of a thesbian"
"And Rosie O'donnell that mad cow turned lesbian"

"We can't figure out where we might have gone wrong"
"We even had Springstein grunt out a few songs"
"We're smarter and better than those red state folk"
"How dare they vote for this GOP joke"
"Why don't they vote like us smart folks out east"
"Rather than give 4 more years to the beast"
"It must be religion, it poisons the mind"
"They'll come around, it's a matter of time"


The truth is much simpler then they want to accept
When it comes to campaigning, their simply inept
With a spine of titanium the President stood strong
Never blinking, just knowing his opponents were wrong

With dignity, composure and not a moment too late
Rove handed the democrats their ass on a plate
They've not only been beaten at their own game
Their clulessness promises more of the same

It's par for the course from dems that lose races
To claim election fraud at the polling places
The usual suspects line up to be heard
Sharpton and Jackson among the absurd

So deep is the hatred and liberal woes
Some have sought help from psychology pros
We hope in 4 years, they aren't still stugglin'
Cause it'll be time for our next Republican!

So to all of you who had a liberal dog in this fight
Kiss George Bush's ass, and have a good night!


Which Media were you watching? Bush was ahead throughout the entire thing. Granted I was watching MSN, not known to be Biased but still. Even Yahoo said the same.

But I guess its sorta funny. Too bad it has so many errors.
Sumamba Buwhan
15-12-2004, 00:52
hehe funny stuff

it's good to see you guys using humor for once. I was afraid you were losing it.
Ziggonia
15-12-2004, 01:34
While I disagree with the entire message, that was a great poem. Did you write it yourself?
Incenjucarania
15-12-2004, 01:40
Heh, very amusing. If you're going to diss someone, do it in a creative manner, I say. Bravo.

And I definately have to agree with the line on the Democrats not campaigning well.

Thankfully, I dis-affiliated myself with parties after Bush's axis of eval speech scared me away from the Republicans, so I can laugh at both sides.

:D
Kramers Intern
15-12-2004, 02:15
Yes that was a very creative way to slam us Democrats. :D
Although over Bush I'd rather have a Dixiecrat.

Oh well, at least you can rhyme. I got my point across. Either way, I agree with what you said about Dems not knowing how to campaign. They probably couldve won Florida but they set up lawyers instead of setting up campaign tactics, ex. Bush targeted Haitians, Cubans, and other Carribbean island immigrants by saying they gave aid to those islands through Cuban/Haitian/Jamaican radio which one a good percentage of the population.
Gnostikos
15-12-2004, 02:28
Though I'm an American liberal, I have to admit that was very witty and entertaining.

"We did everything right, we raised the most cash"
"We had the best ads, with more substance, more flash"
Just...that certainly isn't true. The Democrats raised less money than the GOP, and the Democratic ad campaign was too sucky for too long. As far as campaigning and electable candidates go, the Republicans have the Democrats firmly trumped. Just like Gore had no excuse to lose to Bush in 2000. It was pathetic that it was even so close, let alone Bush winning!

Which Media were you watching? Bush was ahead throughout the entire thing. Granted I was watching MSN, not known to be Biased but still.
Exit polls predicted Kerry to be the winner. After the votes began to be counted, it was Bush who was ahead. I was so optimistic before evening came about...