NationStates Jolt Archive

If it's not too personal, I was just kind of wondering.

Probably my parents getting divorced.

P.S. I'm only 14 though.

Probably my parents getting divorced.

P.S. I'm only 14 though.

I'm sorry about that. :(

My mom dying when I was a kid is the greatest tragedy of my life.

Either 9/11 or the moment I heard Bush had been re-elected.

My mom dying when I was a kid is the greatest tragedy of my life.

Thats harsh.

Either 9/11 or the moment I heard Bush had been re-elected.


I highly suggest you get in a flame proof suit.

Hasn't happned yet, but i know it will. My Big Brother's death.

((Four years out of college and all he does is do drugs and waste his life.))

I voted other. My greatest tradegy was when in was 4, in 1992, when I had a house fire. The house burnt to the ground, and we lost everything but what were wearing and a few things. The Piano forsome reason didnt burn, and my uncle (who was a firefighter) ran in and got my favorite stuffed animal (which I sill have 12 years later) out of the dryer, and a bible. Thats ALL we had left. And we were renting the house and we had just bought it, and so we were switching to home owners insurance overnight, so we didnt have any insurance until the following day. I also lost a dog. The fire started in my room and spread throughout the whole house. But being that it was 1992, the Olympics were on, so we all fell alseep in the living room watching the Olpmpics.

When my father was killed in an industrial accident. Three days before 9/11. That week sucked.

I have a certain friend. And the monday before thanksgiving her mom and grandma were killed in a car wreck at 6:30 am in a head on collision with a drunk driver. Her 5 year nephew was hospitalized and remained in the hospital for about 2 weeks. A week from that monday, her dad died! So in a week, her mom, grandma, and dad died. She HAD a brother, but he died last year. Now all she has left is her sister and her nephew.

I guess not knowing my father isn't a tragedy, but its something that haunts me. Also moving to the US was upsetting to me. I was basically dragged through the airport scared to death, kicking and crying and screaming....very upsetting.....

I would have to say though that the greatest tragedy was losing my grandfather to cancer, that hit me pretty hard.

Losing a daughter.

I have a certain friend. And the monday before thanksgiving her mom and grandma were killed in a car wreck at 6:30 am in a head on collision with a drunk driver. Her 5 year nephew was hospitalized and remained in the hospital for about 2 weeks. A week from that monday, her dad died! So in a week, her mom, grandma, and dad died. She HAD a brother, but he died last year. Now all she has left is her sister and her nephew.

I'm sorry man...
The thing that scares the hell out of me is the fact that my dad drives drunk...and I'm so afraid that one of these days, he's going to kill someone...
That is my biggest fear, likely to come alive...

Losing a daughter.

I'm so sorry.

Losing my father to a heart attack I as a med student had diagnosed (classic symptoms). He went to the hospital and whatever hack he saw told him everything was OK, that it was just a cold and that he could go on vacation as planned. I thought about asking him not to go, to stay and wait until he felt better, but I didn't act on it, and four days later he was dead from something he would have survived had he not left.

One of my best friends killing himself with a gun. It really gets me because I still think I could have prevented it.

Why would anyone trivialize and denigrate their tragedy by posting it on a bulletin board?!?! Have some respect for your pain and keep it to yourself and those who actually mean something to you.

Don't turn yourself into some parody of talk show trailer trash.

Why would anyone trivialize and denigrate their tragedy by posting it on a bulletin board?!?! Have some respect for your pain and keep it to yourself and those who actually mean something to you.

Don't turn yourself into some parody of talk show trailer trash.

1. Nobody's forcing you to read anything.

2. The only one denigrating anyone in this thread is you.

3. Shoo, troll!

1. Nobody's forcing you to read anything.

2. The only one denigrating anyone in this thread is you.

3. Shoo, troll!

You make my point. Any "troll" can take your tragedy and make it fodder for trivial chat room banter when you treat your life's pain so frivolously. Christ, is nothing sacred or private anymore?

Why would anyone trivialize and denigrate their tragedy by posting it on a bulletin board?!?! Have some respect for your pain and keep it to yourself and those who actually mean something to you.

Don't turn yourself into some parody of talk show trailer trash.

For many people, the folks they know from message boards are closer to them emothionally than most of their face to face friends. I've met many people in the flesh after getting to know them on various boards, and some of them are among my closest friends.

I was at work, and all of a sudden, some @$$holes flew an airplane into an office building about three miles from where I was. Then it happened again, about fifteen minutes later. I could see the smoke in the sky. When the buildings collapsed, paper from the offices flew all over the place. Some of them landed in my back yard. I still have them.

Lascivious Maximus
This message has been deleted by Lascivious Maximus. Reason: I shouldnt have posted that, I get too emotional


Good for you, L.M. I hope others follow your lead and delete what should be private and personal.

Why would anyone trivialize and denigrate their tragedy by posting it on a bulletin board?!?! Have some respect for your pain and keep it to yourself and those who actually mean something to you.

Don't turn yourself into some parody of talk show trailer trash.

What people do and say and why they say and do is their own personal choice. They have the right to post here there greates worries, fears, and tragedies of their life if they want and no one should deny them that or riddicule them for doing so. People need to express their pains and sorrows to get over them and if this is their outlet than so beit. You have no say in the way that they deal with pain and loss. To those of you who have posted You have my condolences and may no more tragedy strike in your life.

You make my point. Any "troll" can take your tragedy and make it fodder for trivial chat room banter when you treat your life's pain so frivolously. Christ, is nothing sacred or private anymore?

Mind your own business. If I want to share, I'll share and I'll stand for it. Nobody needs your "holier-than-thou" attitude here. Take your faux indignation and stuff it.

Although there is nothing in my life that could possibly compare to the rest of the posts here, but the biggest tragedy in my life was the year that my mother married my step-father. You see she married him because she was pregnant, despite the fact that he beats her and is emotionally abusive to everyone in the house (occasionally physically abusive to the rest of us).

P.S. - I am sorry for the tragedy that has befallen your lives.

Is chronic existential nihilistic depression compounded by obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies pertaining to doubt in existence and/or all [in]concievable moral issues considered self inflicted?

Sure, it doesn't seem like a lot compared to physical abuse et al, but it's saying something when a doctor says "Shit, that's like being on [illegal] drugs 24/7" in response to a description of your daily mental/emotional state.

*hugs the entire thread* *mumbles some Nietzsche* *leaves*

What people do and say and why they say and do is their own personal choice. They have the right to post here there greates worries, fears, and tragedies of their life if they want and no one should deny them that or riddicule them for doing so. People need to express their pains and sorrows to get over them and if this is their outlet than so beit. You have no say in the way that they deal with pain and loss. To those of you who have posted You have my condolences and may no more tragedy strike in your life.
Mind your own business. If I want to share, I'll share and I'll stand for it. Nobody needs your "holier-than-thou" attitude here. Take your faux indignation and stuff it.

This isn’t a matter of free speech, Gradonia. It is a matter of having enough respect for yourself to not put the pain and suffering of your life on par with “What’s Your Favorite Band,” “Free Porn,” “Would You Become a Cyborg,” or whatever the inane topic of the moment is.

Is that how you would equate the tragedies of your life?

And spare me the “faux indignation” comments. It is faux sympathy that makes this kind of thread pathetic. The little pixilated band-aids offered up for pain too terrible to be comprehended by strangers. One cannot have real, honest empathy for the hurts and tragedies of strangers. All that can be offered is a general statement of condolence that is quickly forgotten, along with the person to whom it is offered.

There is nothing holier-than-thou about asking people to take a minute and think about whether they want to reduce their core being and suffering to the latest blather on a bulletin board for a bunch of strangers to banter about. These forums are fine for the trivial, the ridiculous, even occasionally, for discussions of the issues of the day. However, when it comes to what is real, we should, as you say Fass, mind our own business.

This isn’t a matter of free speech, Gradonia. It is a matter of having enough respect for yourself to not put the pain and suffering of your life on par with “What’s Your Favorite Band,” “Free Porn,” “Would You Become a Cyborg,” or whatever the inane topic of the moment is.

Is that how you would equate the tragedies of your life?

And spare me the “faux indignation” comments. It is faux sympathy that makes this kind of thread pathetic. The little pixilated band-aids offered up for pain too terrible to be comprehended by strangers. One cannot have real, honest empathy for the hurts and tragedies of strangers. All that can be offered is a general statement of condolence that is quickly forgotten, along with the person to whom it is offered.

There is nothing holier-than-thou about asking people to take a minute and think about whether they want to reduce their core being and suffering to the latest blather on a bulletin board for a bunch of strangers to banter about. These forums are fine for the trivial, the ridiculous, even occasionally, for discussions of the issues of the day. However, when it comes to what is real, we should, as you say Fass, mind our own business.

What business of yours is it if someone wants to share their personal trials online? Does it affect you in any way? Are you personally harmed by it? Are you forced to do the same? No. So why is it any of your business that someone else wants to do so? No one is forcing you to put your "greatest tragedy" here; you are quite free to not post on this thread, and also quite free to not read this thread if it bothers you so. But just because you disapprove doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same way as you.

To a lot of people, it is easier to share these sort of dark secrets with people that they do not have to face on a daily basis. It is a great weight off the shoulders of someone to be able to finally release these feelings, and for many it would be too hard to share them with someone that they are close to and have to face afterwards. To be able to elucidate these fears and tragedies to someone that they don't have to concern themselves with afterwards is a great release.

So spare me your indignation. No one is forcing you to read this thread, and no one is forcing you to share your own personal greatest tragedy. If you don't like the contents of this thread, then leave. But at least don't have the arrogance to presume that everyone feels the same way as you on the matter.

This isn’t a matter of free speech, Gradonia. It is a matter of having enough respect for yourself to not put the pain and suffering of your life on par with “What’s Your Favorite Band,” “Free Porn,” “Would You Become a Cyborg,” or whatever the inane topic of the moment is.

Is that how you would equate the tragedies of your life?

And spare me the “faux indignation” comments. It is faux sympathy that makes this kind of thread pathetic. The little pixilated band-aids offered up for pain too terrible to be comprehended by strangers. One cannot have real, honest empathy for the hurts and tragedies of strangers. All that can be offered is a general statement of condolence that is quickly forgotten, along with the person to whom it is offered.

There is nothing holier-than-thou about asking people to take a minute and think about whether they want to reduce their core being and suffering to the latest blather on a bulletin board for a bunch of strangers to banter about. These forums are fine for the trivial, the ridiculous, even occasionally, for discussions of the issues of the day. However, when it comes to what is real, we should, as you say Fass, mind our own business.

Except that you are not a moral compass for the majority.

You don't have to read about other people suffering, you are free to troll a different board, and, I would say it is a reflection of your lack of empathy if you feel you come away from this board with nothing.

From purely 'win-lose' terms, someone may come away from this PARTICULAR thread with motivation to never drink-and-drive, in which case, this thread has saved lives.

Or, someone may come away from this thread with catharsis, since they were able to express an issue to strangers that they could NEVER express to a friend. Example - the person who was 'hit' by their mother, may have never been able to discuss that, because all the people close to him/her KNOW his/her mother - and that makes it too personal.

How can you reach all the way down to ease some of the pain, if you stay on a horse that high?

What business of yours is it if someone wants to share their personal trials online? Does it affect you in any way? Are you personally harmed by it? Are you forced to do the same? No. So why is it any of your business that someone else wants to do so? No one is forcing you to put your "greatest tragedy" here; you are quite free to not post on this thread, and also quite free to not read this thread if it bothers you so. But just because you disapprove doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same way as you.

To a lot of people, it is easier to share these sort of dark secrets with people that they do not have to face on a daily basis. It is a great weight off the shoulders of someone to be able to finally release these feelings, and for many it would be too hard to share them with someone that they are close to and have to face afterwards. To be able to elucidate these fears and tragedies to someone that they don't have to concern themselves with afterwards is a great release.

So spare me your indignation. No one is forcing you to read this thread, and no one is forcing you to share your own personal greatest tragedy. If you don't like the contents of this thread, then leave. But at least don't have the arrogance to presume that everyone feels the same way as you on the matter.

Exactly.

My greatest tragedy came while living in North Carolina. That tragedy was living in North Carolina. To be more specific, the total sum of all my experienced gathered in North Carolina. 90% of everybody I knew was a total asshole. I swear that there was an aura of hate there that despised my innocent nature. Of course being a Yank didn't help much.

What business of yours is it if someone wants to share their personal trials online?

I would say it is a reflection of your lack of empathy if you feel you come away from this board with nothing.

I guess I just come from a generation where we showed our empathy in real, tangible ways to the meaningful people in our lives and didn't turn our grief into entertainment for the anonymous masses.

I guess I just come from a generation where we showed our empathy in real, tangible ways to the meaningful people in our lives and didn't turn our grief into entertainment for the anonymous masses.

You apparently also come from a generation that likes to flaunt itself as morally superior.

You apparently also come from a generation that likes to flaunt itself as morally superior.

Why, because I think it is wrong to trivialize your pain? If that is morally superior then I gladly embrace the label.

Why, because I think it is wrong to trivialize your pain? If that is morally superior then I gladly embrace the label.

Yes, because you happily degrade people who do not adhere to the same moral code as yourself. Just because you think it's wrong to post personal tragedies here doesn't mean that everyone feels the same, but you act as though anyone who doesn't agree with you is somehow flawed.

I guess I just come from a generation where we showed our empathy in real, tangible ways to the meaningful people in our lives and didn't turn our grief into entertainment for the anonymous masses.

Which generation would that be, then?

People have been seeking psychological help for quite some time, since they have realised that (in their case) they need an external ear for their troubles, and external help in making things right.

What you see as 'entertainment', here, is what some other people are seeing as a platform to discuss their issues.

Well done, anyway - your burst of vitriol seems to have made sufficient people sufficiently self-conscious about their hurt, that they have stopped discussing it where your tender little eyes might be offended by it.

Why, because I think it is wrong to trivialize your pain? If that is morally superior then I gladly embrace the label.

It could be argued that this thread has ONLY been trivialised by someone coming in and basically telling people to 'grow up' - assuming that THEIR view on hurt-and-healing was somehow superior to those expressed by the posters in the thread.

Yes, because you happily degrade people who do not adhere to the same moral code as yourself. Just because you think it's wrong to post personal tragedies here doesn't mean that everyone feels the same, but you act as though anyone who doesn't agree with you is somehow flawed.

In your world is there no standard of right and wrong? Do you not offer your opinion as to how you think people and the world should be? If I were to go through your threads would I find no definitive statements condemning or extolling specific moral actions?

I have no problem saying that turning your life's greatest tragedies into the stuff of bulletin board banter for the faux sympathy of anonymous strangers is cheap and tawdry. Obviously, not everyone agrees. What difference does that make? It still cheapens the tragedy of the person doing it.

Which generation would that be, then?

People have been seeking psychological help for quite some time, since they have realised that (in their case) they need an external ear for their troubles, and external help in making things right.

What you see as 'entertainment', here, is what some other people are seeing as a platform to discuss their issues.

Well done, anyway - your burst of vitriol seems to have made sufficient people sufficiently self-conscious about their hurt, that they have stopped discussing it where your tender little eyes might be offended by it.

Now who is feeling morally superior? How is the air up there on your high horse?

In your world is there no standard of right and wrong? Do you not offer your opinion as to how you think people and the world should be? If I were to go through your threads would I find no definitive statements condemning or extolling specific moral actions?

I have no problem saying that turning your life's greatest tragedies into the stuff of bulletin board banter for the faux sympathy of anonymous strangers is cheap and tawdry. Obviously, not everyone agrees. What difference does that make? It is still cheapens the tragedy of the person doing it.

I offer my opinion, yes. What I do NOT do is ridicule someone for sharing personal matters with others. And I do NOT ridicule people for having differing opinions than I.

You're having an exceedingly difficult time wrapping your mind around this, aren't you? Just because you believe that sharing personal tragedies in this manner cheapens them somehow does not instantly mean that everyone else agrees with you. You are for whatever reason incapable of comprehending that not everyone thinks that this cheapens these people's problems; you seem to be of the mind that you are immutably correct in this matter.

you seem to be of the mind that you are immutably correct in this matter.

Yes.

you seem to be of the mind that you are immutably correct in this matter.

Yes.


Then you are trolling.

Now who is feeling morally superior? How is the air up there on your high horse?

I fail to see your connection... I made no 'moral judgements'.

You posted in the thread that people were cheapening themselves by revealing their hurt (your opinion), and people seem to have responded to your accusation, by deciding now not to comment.

Therefore, you have 'won' - your choice to start interfering in a thread has acheived the result you stated you were setting out to achieve.

I don't see how that is a moral judgement, on my part - but, then again, I failed to see how other people sharing was a moral judgement on my part...

I am genuinely sad, however, that you admit you learn nothing from the forum.

Then you are trolling.

There was ever a doubt?

Then you are trolling.

I'm not even sure what that means.

Perhaps as you, and Grave n idle, get older you will see there is nothing wrong with having definitive feelings about right and wrong behavior. Not all actions are morally equal and the fact that there are those who disagree makes no difference about what is correct.

If you look back over my thread you will see I am not ridiculing, I am chastising. There is a difference. I am offering my opinion that this kind of talk-show mentality where the idea of a private life no longer exists, trivializes, cheapens, and diminishes that which is essential to our core being.

You set yourself up as a great champion of allowing people to speak freely about whatever they chose, yet have vociferously condemned me because I committed the unpardonable sin of actually believing my opinion to be correct.

I'm not even sure what that means.

Perhaps as you, and Grave n idle, get older you will see there is nothing wrong with having definitive feelings about right and wrong behavior. Not all actions are morally equal and the fact that there are those who disagree makes no difference about what is correct.

If you look back over my thread you will see I am not ridiculing, I am chastising. There is a difference. I am offering my opinion that this kind of talk-show mentality where the idea of a private life no longer exists, trivializes, cheapens, and diminishes that which is essential to our core being.

You set yourself up as a great champion of allowing people to speak freely about whatever they chose, yet have vociferously condemned me because I committed the unpardonable sin of actually believing my opinion to be correct.

How nice of you to patronize me.

I am genuinely sad, however, that you admit you learn nothing from the forum.

Are you, Grave? Are you "genuinely sad?" How will that sadness manifest itself? Will you mope around all day worrying about me? You are obviously an empathetic person with a vast reserve of emotional support to give to any number of stranger, including myself, who need it. How long will it take for you to get over your sadness?

You make my point so well. There is no real emotional exchange between anonymous strangers. There is only quick, easy, false emotion offered as we surf on to the next topic of discussion.

How nice of you to patronize me.

There was nothing nice about it.

There was nothing nice about it.

You know, you're correct. There are some things that are simply right or wrong. And you are wrong. Plain and simple. I am right; you are wrong; I am better than you for the way I think.

Losing a daughter.

I'm sorry as hell about that, TBF. :(

When my father was killed in an industrial accident. Three days before 9/11. That week sucked.

I'm sorry. :(

I'm not even sure what that means.

Perhaps as you, and Grave n idle, get older you will see there is nothing wrong with having definitive feelings about right and wrong behavior. Not all actions are morally equal and the fact that there are those who disagree makes no difference about what is correct.

If you look back over my thread you will see I am not ridiculing, I am chastising. There is a difference. I am offering my opinion that this kind of talk-show mentality where the idea of a private life no longer exists, trivializes, cheapens, and diminishes that which is essential to our core being.

You set yourself up as a great champion of allowing people to speak freely about whatever they chose, yet have vociferously condemned me because I committed the unpardonable sin of actually believing my opinion to be correct.

It is strange... from reading your commentary, I would assume that you are... maybe 17? And, feeling righteous indignation that you would be confronted by individuals that you would assume must be, say, 14 year olds...

That's just the way it reads... I could be wrong.

You are right on one thing... there is nothing wrong with having definite feelings about right and wrong behaviour.

There is, however, I would argue, something VERY wrong with trying to assert what YOU view as right or wrong OVER other people.

Are you, Grave? Are you "genuinely sad?" How will that sadness manifest itself? Will you mope around all day worrying about me? You are obviously an empathetic person with a vast reserve of emotional support to give to any number of stranger, including myself, who need it. How long will it take for you to get over your sadness?

You make my point so well. There is no real emotional exchange between anonymous strangers. There is only quick, easy, false emotion offered as we surf on to the next topic of discussion.

Actually, yes - am genuinely sad.

No, I will not mope around all day worrying about you. That would be non-constructive.

Yes, I am, perhaps, an unusually empathic person... I don't know, I wouldn't have said so.

I use this forum for several functions... It offers light relief (sometimes), it offers companionship (from some people), and it offers education (most often). I feel that my use of the forum has enabled me to learn a great deal, and it does make me somewhat sad that some people seem to be immune to the educational value, and open only to titillation.

If all you perceive from the forum is entertainment - that is fine, if that is what you want. But, I will feel a sense of regret that you put a name to a nebulous 'lack' that I perceive.

On the contrary, you make MY point so well. You have no capacity to empathise over the internet (and maybe that is for the best... since you are less likely to be 'hurt' that way, I guess), and can see no value in others empathising.

I don't see by what reasoning empathy and emotion should get lost while communicating online.
We failed to stop being empathic when we learned to talk rather than grunt, we failed to lose our emotions when we started to write letters, we didn't suddenly become sociopaths when the telephone was invented. So why should it be the case now with instantaneous written communication?

I certainly spend about as much of my time on the web as in that precious "tangible" social life. Reading has become about as significant as listening to me. When I read something that touches me emotionally, I feel no less disturbed than I would in real life.

Imagining a situation is the first premise of feeling sympathy for the situation of others. One who still calls for "tangibility" has no imagination to put the words into pictures, and as such would fail "Empathy" with an F+ in any case. So that's a bit of a blow to moral superiority.

---

The greatest personal blows I have recently suffered are ones I read of on the web (apart from my budgerigar dying in June). One was in October when I learned of the murder of a fellow member of a forum I was on, the other was in November when (guess what? *gets out asbestos*) HE was reelected.

Ogiek, some people are expressing their greatest tragedies here. Please don't trample this by turning it into just another argument. Even if you don't agree with what they're writing, this really isn't the place to voice those opinions. Please have some compassion.

I don't see by what reasoning empathy and emotion should get lost while communicating online.
We failed to stop being empathic when we learned to talk rather than grunt, we failed to lose our emotions when we started to write letters, we didn't suddenly become sociopaths when the telephone was invented. So why should it be the case now with instantaneous written communication?


It isn't the medium in dispute, Aeruillin; it is the audience. Of course one can show empathy or sympathy, offer condolences, share grief and sadness, or happiness and joy, through the Internet. However, we should not expect those very same emotions to be shared with anonymous strangers.

There is a reason we have true friends and not just a collection of random people from work or school. These are people we trust enough to share our hearts with. We know they will be gentle and understanding; that they will offer support and encouragement. We build a lifelong relationship with them by sharing our personal feelings and they in turn trust us with their private emotions. Of course we can do this on the phone, through letters, or even by Internet email.

However, when someone posts the greatest tragedies of their life on an Internet general forum for all and sundry they are exposing their innermost self to the slings and arrows of the outrageous misfortunes of complete strangers. What is to keep someone from turning a friend’s suicide into humorous banter? Or the death of a parent or spouse into an ongoing chat room joke? We cannot trust those we do not know to care for our emotions as our friends and family would. Nor can we offer true compassion to those we don't truly care for.

There is a reason why we have a public life and a private life.

It is not the medium, but rather the sharing of indescribable sadness with people who don't know us, love us, or care what happens to us that is wrong. It is a Jerry Springer mentality writ small.

And frankly, I'm surprised that I am the only one here old enough to remember that it wasn't always this way.

*sits at desk, straightens papers, tries to look dignified*

At exactly 4.29pm today another thread was hijacked while in discussion. Officials are refusing to comment, other than to mutter "Tsk."

And now onto Sport!

*drinks some water*

We cannot trust those we do not know to care for our emotions as our friends and family would.

....

And frankly, I'm surprised that I am the only one here old enough to remember that it wasn't always this way.

so, by extension, we should not care about the emotions of strangers? i find that inhumane.

age has *nothing* to do with it.

so, by extension, we should not care about the emotions of strangers? i find that inhumane.

age has *nothing* to do with it.

Did I ever say that? Of course you should care about strangers, but you cannot truly feel for someone you do not know in the same way you do for friends and family. There is a difference between your private circle of friends and family and the general public world. We could not survive otherwise.

That is only human.

It isn't the medium in dispute, Aeruillin; it is the audience. Of course one can show empathy or sympathy, offer condolences, share grief and sadness, or happiness and joy, through the Internet. However, we should not expect those very same emotions to be shared with anonymous strangers.

There is a reason we have true friends and not just a collection of random people from work or school. These are people we trust enough to share our hearts with. We know they will be gentle and understanding; that they will offer support and encouragement. We build a lifelong relationship with them by sharing our personal feelings and they in turn trust us with their private emotions. Of course we can do this on the phone, through letters, or even by Internet email.

However, when someone posts the greatest tragedies of their life on an Internet general forum for all and sundry they are exposing their innermost self to the slings and arrows of the outrageous misfortunes of complete strangers. What is to keep someone from turning a friend’s suicide into humorous banter? Or the death of a parent or spouse into an ongoing chat room joke? We cannot trust those we do not know to care for our emotions as our friends and family would. Nor can we offer true compassion to those we don't truly care for.

There is a reason why we have a public life and a private life.

It is not the medium, but rather the sharing of indescribable sadness with people who don't know us, love us, or care what happens to us that is wrong. It is a Jerry Springer mentality writ small.

And frankly, I'm surprised that I am the only one here old enough to remember that it wasn't always this way.

And yet, of course, the thing WASN'T trivialised until people started talking about how wrong it was for people to share their feelings with each other, without some form of intimacy qualification.

I think maybe you are confusing a cloistered upbringing with a 'golden age of stiff-upper-lips'.

When my best friend got taken to the Animal Humane Society. Yes, I'm serious.

Do you know what Josh calls him? Grandma-Man.

Of course you should care about strangers, but you cannot truly feel for someone you do not know in the same way you do for friends and family. That is only human.

At last, a glint of sense.

You are correct, you cannot feel for someone you don't know in the same way you do for friends and family.

And, that is the point.

There is an objectivity in relative anonymity. It enables some people to share things they might not be able to share otherwise... and that could help those people.

Since you freely admit that you can't really care about others in this medium, maybe you should have refrained from any comment... since, obviously, you don't care.

When my best friend got taken to the Animal Humane Society. Yes, I'm serious.

Do you know what Josh calls him? Grandma-Man.

And when my other friend became very ill and had to be put to sleep.

Do you know what Josh calls him? Grandma-Man.

Why would anyone trivialize and denigrate their tragedy by posting it on a bulletin board?!?! Have some respect for your pain and keep it to yourself and those who actually mean something to you.

Don't turn yourself into some parody of talk show trailer trash.

Actually, its better for people to share with each other. Mentally it would be hard for one person to deal with very personal issues if they did not have a support group, or at least someone to comfort them. Most people DO need to talk to others about things that bother them.

Some people don't need the support of others to deal with problems. You, Ogiek, must be one of those people. Which isn't a bad thing, but you might be putting more stress on yourself then you could be by trying to deal with problems without the help of others.

Of course one can show empathy or sympathy, offer condolences, share grief and sadness, or happiness and joy, through the Internet. However, we should not expect those very same emotions to be shared with anonymous strangers.

So when I feel sympathy for a patient, who is a complete stranger am I in the wrong then? Or when a patient who doesn't know me outside of coming into my office for a routine check-up wants to talk to me about her personal life, I shouldn't listen? I care about complete strangers, or I would not have bothered to go into the medical field. Although it is still a "doctor-patient" relationship, and if I had gone home and talked about the patient to my family or friends, I would be violating my patients trust/rights (As well as HIPPA) I still can't help but feel that as a human being I should care for someone who I might not even know, no matter if its through a forum post, or an office visit, or even if someone stops to talk to me on the street. People do not always have someone else to talk to, and feel safe confiding in those they might not know because they can't hurt them. Unless they patronize them for it, but then thats not very nice is it?

When I was eight, about the time that my father was my hero, he was swarmed by bees while bushhogging and fell off the tractor and was run over by the rear tires and the bushhog, leaving me as the oldest of 4 and my mother, a housewife, to figure out how to survive. With the help of God, the church, our extended family and friends we did.

Incidentally, I don't think it trivial to let others know what God brought me through to be the person I am today.

I think maybe you are confusing a cloistered upbringing with a 'golden age of stiff-upper-lips'.
Since you freely admit that you can't really care about others in this medium, maybe you should have refrained from any comment... since, obviously, you don't care.
Actually, its better for people to share with each other. Mentally it would be hard for one person to deal with very personal issues if they did not have a support group, or at least someone to comfort them. Most people DO need to talk to others about things that bother them.

Some people don't need the support of others to deal with problems. You, Ogiek, must be one of those people. Which isn't a bad thing, but you might be putting more stress on yourself then you could be by trying to deal with problems without the help of others.

I give up. Obviously, I am not adept enough at expressing myself to be comprehended. Either that or my meaning is being deliberately misunderstood, so that some in the thread can establish their moral superiority.

I leave the forum to those of you who feel comfortable expressing your greatest pains and hurts to faceless, anonymous strangers.

I give up. Obviously, I am not adept enough at expressing myself to be comprehended. Either that or my meaning is being deliberately misunderstood, so that some in the thread can establish their moral superiority.

I leave the forum to those of you who feel comfortable expressing your greatest pains and hurts to faceless, anonymous strangers.

Never was trying to be "morally superior" and I'm sorry if I didn't "comprehend" what you were saying. I just didn't feel like you should patronize those who wanted to openly tell others (strangers in fact) about something terrible that had happened to them. Perhaps there needs to be more understandiing from both sides.....

I leave the forum to those of you who feel comfortable expressing your greatest pains and hurts to faceless, anonymous strangers.

I do believe you might FINALLY have had a flash of inspiration???

Or, is your greatest personal truth disguised as a flippant, throw-away parting shot?

Being born. I should never have anyway, my mother was supposed to be infertile. And it wasn't a good idea for me to be born, definitely not. Wish I never had this idiotic idea.

When my brother died from permanent brain injury from hitting his head against a curb, then having the thought sealed by seeing his body at the wake... Worst day of my life... He left to Virginia on a business trip, and I didn't get to say goodbye or tell him how much I appriated him.