NationStates Jolt Archive

Clicky (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/chamber/61563)

Despite the attempts of some people on the forums in the past to support the works of lobster. We can now see them for what they truly are. Lobsters are uncivilized and deserve the harshest of all conceivable treatments. They should all be boiled alive, and as a final humiliating statement they should all be eaten and turned into the turds that they truly are.

I will not stand idly by as lobster continue to pose a threat. I will require the aid of all who are of able body. You must go down to the nearest market, go down to the nearest restaurant. Capture yourself one of these vile crustaceans and boil it in water. We must crack their shells and pour butter over their open wounds. We have to send them a message that such murderous behavior will not be tolerated from lobsters.

This battle will be a great crusade. We must show those lobsters that we are not helpless and that we will fight back. Nobody ever won a war by being eaten by the enemy. Wars are won by making the enemy sacrifice themselves to the dinner plate. Boil them in water. Now I know that many of you will get full bellies and wont be getting of the couch for a while. Some of you may even over indulge and throw up. But I can assure you that the fight you are fighting will not be a fight in vain. We shall emerge victorious. As the almighty crab as my witness, we shall prevail. Amen

Holy crap! We're doomed!

That’s what the Lobsters want you to think. Think positively and don’t let them scare you. We can show them who's boss.

It will be hard but I am here to assist in the good fight against this most evil of evils, the dirty lobster. In fact, I am now well on my way to infiltrating the organisation. My bright red skin has them all fooled.

I must go now and enjoy the screams of the tender juicy morsels now soaking on my stovetop.

The brave are always the first to diet.

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the killers lobsters in formation! :eek: :eek:

*passes out butter*

We will die eating! i mean fighting... fighting to eat... yes.

Break out the magnets! We'll disrupt their supply lines and redirect their assault forces into large cauldrons!

You do know the Weekly World News publishes fake articles right...?

You do know the Weekly World News publishes fake articles right...?

You're with them aren't you?!
Lobster lover!!!

You cannot stop the Lobsters! The planet of the lobsters are mearly waiting for the chance to strike. Should you move on our Earthly cousins, we, The Giant Space Lobsters, shall mass our forces and strike with our razor sharp claws!

You have been warned.

Is it a coincidence that they congregate in our towns and cities at 'The RED Lobster'??

They're not just crustacean monsters - they're MARXISTS, too!!

You cannot stop the Lobsters! The planet of the lobsters are mearly waiting for the chance to strike. Should you move on our Earthly cousins, we, The Giant Space Lobsters, shall mass our forces and strike with our razor sharp claws!

You have been warned.


Oooo, Giant Space Lobsters!
Aughughughughugh

melt me up a tub butter and get me a bib!

Is it a coincidence that they congregate in our towns and cities at 'The RED Lobster'??

They're not just crustacean monsters - they're MARXISTS, too!!
A few years ago the leader of the Lobster Cult called himself the Red Lobster. That is until I captured him and fed him to a lion. The Lobsters have always been disorganized up until now. They must have chosen a new leader. One that is powerful enough to unite all of the lobster clans.

I'm serious the Weekly World News publishes fake stories. It's a joke-newspaper. They always have stuff such as "Britney Spears at it again". It's 100% false stories.

But, I would side with the lobsters if it were true.

First, the lobsters are not evil. They merely come with a culture which places less worth on human life than our own culture, and more worth on crustacean freedom.

Nor are Lobsters uncivilized, they formed civilization long before man, the earliest pre-crustacean civilizations are over 100,000 years old. The lobsters abadoned slavery for instance before man invented fire. Due to certain physical limitations (no fire and claws) their civilization is not a technology based on like human civilization, but lobster civilization is far more philosophically advanced than human (sitting on the bottom of the ocean with no hands will do that to you).

A few years ago the leader of the Lobster Cult called himself the Red Lobster. That is until I captured him and fed him to a lion. The Lobsters have always been disorganized up until now. They must have chosen a new leader. One that is powerful enough to unite all of the lobster clans.

I fear this may be the dawning of the age of the Rock Lobster...!

GO lobsters!!!!


kill these slimy humans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm serious the Weekly World News publishes fake stories. It's a joke-newspaper. They always have stuff such as "Britney Spears at it again". It's 100% false stories.

But, I would side with the lobsters if it were true.
Spears is always at it, it's common knowledge. The stories are real Lobster Lover.

First, the lobsters are not evil. They merely come with a culture which places less worth on human life than our own culture, and more worth on crustacean freedom.

Nor are Lobsters uncivilized, they formed civilization long before man, the earliest pre-crustacean civilizations are over 100,000 years old. The lobsters abadoned slavery for instance before man invented fire. Due to certain physical limitations (no fire and claws) their civilization is not a technology based on like human civilization, but lobster civilization is far more philosophically advanced than human (sitting on the bottom of the ocean with no hands will do that to you).
Lobster Propaganda

I fear this may be the dawning of the age of the Rock Lobster...!
:eek: Oh no! :eek:

I, for one, support the Lobster freedom fighters.

GO lobsters!!!!


kill these slimy humans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lobster Sympathizer :mad:

Get him, he's one of them.

not about lobsters... but a true story nonetheless.

Coconut crabs... these are land crabs that can hust coconuts to eat the meat inside. Their meat thus has an underlying Coconut flavor. Now these things are HUGE... you can step on one and maybe your foot would cover the body.

Now a shipment was confiscated in Hawaii... The Idiot put these crabs in a pen with Chicken wire...

now as I mentioned... these crabs tear apart Coconuts with their pincers... so that night, they walked up to the chicken wire... and tore it to shreds.

When the workers opened the wherehouse doors... the comment was ... it looked like a Crustean Jailbreak... it took them all day to round up all of the crabs..

the poor idiot never lived that one down.

I, for one, support the Lobster freedom fighters.
You too eh?

These are terrorists, terrorizing in innocent victims. They are nothing more than savage animals whose only lot in life it to bring terror to people. They would kill you if they ever saw you walking down the street. They don't care how you feel about them. They are ruthless killers who kill indiscriminately.

I'm serious the Weekly World News publishes fake stories. It's a joke-newspaper. They always have stuff such as "Britney Spears at it again". It's 100% false stories.

But, I would side with the lobsters if it were true.

Quite clearly the story is true. The lobsters are coming, I have seen them.

I've always wanted to try human, maybe it'd make a nice appetiser for the main of lobstery goodness.