NationStates Jolt Archive


Three reporters and a Marine

Eutrusca
13-12-2004, 02:27
Subject: Three reporters and a Marine


Anchors Dan Rather, Peter Jennings and NPR Reporter
Cokie Roberts, along with one Marine assigned to
protect them were hiking through the Iraq desert one
day when they were captured by Insurgents.

They were tied up, led to a village, and brought
before the leader. The leader said, "I am familiar
with your western custom of granting the condemned a
last wish so, before we kill and dismember you, do you
have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan so I'd like one
last bowl of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an
underling who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to
hear the song 'O Canada' one last time." The leader
nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western
world and knew the music. He returned with some
rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings
sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I
want to take out my tape recorder and describe the
scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday
someone will hear it and know that I was on the job
till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape
recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then
said, "Now I can die happy." The leader turned and
said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final
wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your
last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the
ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him
into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, rolled to his knees, pulled
a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the
leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to
his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed
the rest of the Insurgents with gunfire. In a flash,
all of them were either dead or fleeing for their
lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings and
Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot
them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"

"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three
assholes call me the aggressor?"
Sdaeriji
13-12-2004, 02:31
C-
Superpower07
13-12-2004, 02:31
ROFLMAO, Eutrusca