NationStates Jolt Archive

This is only to be light hearted little joke, so please lets not have any religious debates of a serious nature!!

Not taking into account which god, or whether or not god truly exists, what are your opinions on this concept...

God, as a theory, must have been one horny person! In all the things Ive ever been told, Ive never heard of anyone discussing god's love life. It occurs to me that with all the things any proposed god has or has not done, that he/she may not have had time for a long term relationship - but what the heck!! No wonder this person had so much time for creation!! I imagine god, if there is one, to be a very horny individual after so many millions of years without sex!! (I mean honestly!! Just you try and hold off for oh say, a year - and see how that goes!!) The frustration and hand calouses that would develop over the course of a million years are truly mind boggling!!!

:eek:

But God is God. I bet he can conjure up a really sexy gal(or guy) and do promiscous stuff while doing all those normal godly stuff. He is God for crying out loud!

Well, we all know there was some kinky stuff goin' on with Mary. Yeah, we all know it was more than just the birth of Jesus that was the miracle regarding Mary. ;)

But, there have been quite a few horny gods. Zeus is the first that comes to mind.

Well, we all know there was some kinky stuff goin' on with Mary. Yeah, we all know it was more than just the birth of Jesus that was the miracle regarding Mary. ;)

But, there have been quite a few horny gods. Zeus is the first that comes to mind.

hmm, yeah, it would make sense out of all that aggression and lightening etc etc

Zeus was most certainly one horny dude too...

this topics gonna get blasted any second now... I can feel it cuming...

(hehehehe)

Zeus was way more horney then God. He turned into a bull to do some chick (so his jealous wife wouldn't find out), and that beastality loving chick's name? Europa, whom Europe is now named after.

I'll agree. Zeus couldn't go ten years without knocking some chick up. God has done it once. 2000 years ago. Heh.

Zeus was way more horney then God. He turned into a bull to do some chick (so his jealous wife wouldn't find out), and that beastality loving chick's name? Europa, whom Europe is now named after.

Wow! Ten points for that answer!! *hands over ten points*

Thats truly the most disgusting concept ive ever heard of, I mean, Ive been horny - real horny... but never horny enough to contemplate a bull as being the directive of my sexual urges...

ewwww!!!

And the Europa thing, well, Europe (as if it werent cool enough already!) just went up ten-fold on the cool-o-meter!!! Thats awesome!!

:D

I'll agree. Zeus couldn't go ten years without knocking some chick up. God has done it once. 2000 years ago. Heh.


Or guys :o

Those damn greek gods. i wonder how they compare to other civ's god based on horniness.

Zeus was way more horney then God.
Zeus was a god. Say "Christian God" or something if you want to refer to that one. "Judeo-Christian" if you only take the Old Testament God. Hell, some people still say "By Jove", which is synonymous to "By God".

Zeus was way more horney then God
Don't forget how he and Leto turned into birds, thus spawning Apollo and Artemis (AKA Diana to Romans)!

Lol; maybe the second cumming (no pun intended) will only happen millions of years after now; when God gets really horny and goes to knock up some virgin again.
Course Zeus wins over God hands down; and I doubt Buddha gets any...

and I doubt Buddha gets any...
Yeah, he lived a pretty sheltered life until he became the Buddha. So he probably never got any.

Or guys :o

Those damn greek gods. i wonder how they compare to other civ's god based on horniness.

*ponders* I don't recall for certain Zeus doing a guy. Did he do Narcissus? I don't remember...

This thread explains sooooo much!!! hahahahaha!!! :p

Wow! Ten points for that answer!! *hands over ten points*

Thats truly the most disgusting concept ive ever heard of, I mean, Ive been horny - real horny... but never horny enough to contemplate a bull as being the directive of my sexual urges...

ewwww!!!

And the Europa thing, well, Europe (as if it werent cool enough already!) just went up ten-fold on the cool-o-meter!!! Thats awesome!!

:D
or a goose/swan :fluffle:

Look up Cygnus

This is only to be light hearted little joke, so please lets not have any religious debates of a serious nature!!

Not taking into account which god, or whether or not god truly exists, what are your opinions on this concept...

God, as a theory, must have been one horny person! In all the things Ive ever been told, Ive never heard of anyone discussing god's love life. It occurs to me that with all the things any proposed god has or has not done, that he/she may not have had time for a long term relationship - but what the heck!! No wonder this person had so much time for creation!! I imagine god, if there is one, to be a very horny individual after so many millions of years without sex!! (I mean honestly!! Just you try and hold off for oh say, a year - and see how that goes!!) The frustration and hand calouses that would develop over the course of a million years are truly mind boggling!!!

:eek:

According to Mormon beliefs he relieved his tensions with Mary :p

Well, unlike in monotheistic religions, the Greek gods weren't all believed to be all goody-goody. People worshipped Hades, and he's the god of the underworld, so ya. Plus, he was horny enough to force a girl to come down there for all spring and summer so they could go at it every night.

*ponders* I don't recall for certain Zeus doing a guy. Did he do Narcissus? I don't remember...


Ganymede. Zeus supposedly kidnapped him and became his lover...poor guy.

What I dont catch with the whole Zeus horniness thing, is that the dude would have to have shrunk down to do these things, since all depiction Ive seen of the guy would lead me to beleive that unless he was hung like a tic tac, the guy would have been a bit of a proportional challenge to most women. Of course, I dont know what the women were like back then either...

hmmmm....

This thread is disgusting!! :D

One word. Inanna.
She be a whore, literally. I think that takes the cake.

Don't forget how he and Leto turned into birds, thus spawning Apollo and Artemis (AKA Diana to Romans)!

Are you thinking what I am thinking? Zeus and God in a Whore-Off! :p
That would be a whore-off for the ages! See south park if you don't know what a whore off is, but I bet you can figure it out.
Ok I am going to hell now. Or hades whatever. :rolleyes:

fu__ck god!!!!!!
god doesnt exist!!
all of yoíu who think god exists are dam fu_c_ki_ng loosers who should be killed

fu__ck god!!!!!!
god doesnt exist!!
all of yoíu who think god exists are dam fu_c_ki_ng loosers who should be killed
:eek:
temper issues, there...

but i mean if you think about women and the way how almost all religions are made to be submisive...thats just that little piece of divine spark*G-d* letting of it's divine "urges". the woman is the muse behind the act but is put as the lower of the two entities. angels and various gods take women through out mythology and the different stories of the goodbook, and these women never seem to have a say in the matter. there is something deep down inside us that causes these sensations and roles which i believe spawn from the idea that G-d*the male* is married to humanity*the female*. G-d fulfills His part by protecting us and giving us the world, while we in turn are the woman in the relationship...so i suppose we can all think of our :fluffle: as relieving G-d's other vital organ which might be the reason we were all created...

Ganymede. Zeus supposedly kidnapped him and became his lover...poor guy.

Ah, yes. I just googled him. Cupbearer of the Gods. *nods* Yep.

fu__ck god!!!!!!
god doesnt exist!!
all of yoíu who think god exists are dam fu_c_ki_ng loosers who should be killed

I hope Zeus boinks you next. :D

but i mean if you think about women and the way how almost all religions are made to be submisive...thats just that little piece of divine spark*G-d* letting of it's divine "urges". the woman is the muse behind the act but is put as the lower of the two entities.
Well, actually, there were many pagan religions that put women above men before Chrsitianity removed them all. That is a fairly modern concept, of male superiority, regarding religion.

What is it with this new fad of spelling it "G-d"?

Did I miss a joke or something?

What is it with this new fad of spelling it "G-d"?

Did I miss a joke or something?

I don't know. but it's a bit silly.

If you don't like saying God, or don't want to mix it up with any of the Greek gods, call the Judeo-christian God, 'Gawd'. Gawd is a good name for him. :)

I don't know. but it's a bit silly.

If you don't like saying God, or don't want to mix it up with any of the Greek gods, call the Judeo-christian God, 'Gawd'. Gawd is a good name for him. :)
Another option is YHWH or JHWH. Or you could spell it phonetically, Yehova or Jehova. That specifically refers to the Judeo-Christian god.

Another option is YHWH or JHWH. Or you could spell it phonetically, Yehova or Jehova. That specifically refers to the Judeo-Christian god.

I never liked the name, Jehova. Sounds like a car. The All New Jeep Jehova 4x4!

ANd Yahweh sounds like a chinese restaurant. Yahweh's Chinese Kitchen.

:p

I never liked the name, Jehova. Sounds like a car. The All New Jeep Jehova 4x4!

ANd Yahweh sounds like a chinese restaurant. Yahweh's Chinese Kitchen.

:p
Allah sounds like a food seasoning.

Please pass the allah...

God's drinking buddy is Dionysius. Damn, they can drink ANYONE under the table.
And the chicks really dig 'em too.

fu__ck god!!!!!!
god doesnt exist!!
all of yoíu who think god exists are dam fu_c_ki_ng loosers who should be killed


You see, thats the kind of pent up rage I was talking about!! :D

This is a post written by someone who is obviously in dire need of some sex!!

(and who, it would appear, cannot read - its a hypothetical question dude! relax!!)

I myself am existentialist/agnostic so really it doesnt matter to me, I only asked the question for laughs! some people need to lighten up!
:rolleyes: