NationStates Jolt Archive

Is it just the two of you? Are others involved to share your love with? They say that most men (it seems women as well) fantasize about the ones they love and another woman or man to share that love with, is that true? Taboo creates snafu. Could we be on the verge of another 60's but with more direction and less conflict? I sure hope so. Love is free and endless afterall, give it away? Why or why not? This thread was given to you with an open mind.

titties

Is it just the two of you? Are others involved to share your love with? They say that most men (it seems women as well) fantasize about the ones they love and another woman or man to share that love with, is that true? Taboo snafu. Could we be on the verge of another 60's but with more direction and less conflict? I sure hope so. Love is free and endless afterall, give it away? Why or why not? This thread was given to you with an open mind.

To be truthfully, totally honest, I would NOT want to share my gf with anyone else ever. I can't say i don't look at other women and i don't think about other women, i would be considered a little strange me thinks if i didn't find other women attractive, but no sharing, no way.

To be truthfully, totally honest, I would NOT want to share my gf with anyone else ever. I can't say i don't look at other women and i don't think about other women, i would be considered a little strange me thinks if i didn't find other women attractive, but no sharing, no way.

You never participated in show and tell did you? jk. We need people of all flavors & colors to fullfill a real rainbow :)

While I know fantasising about being with another man/woman is generally accepted as being the case, I can quite honestly say that I have never done so when in a relationship.

Having said that, as long as both parties are aware and consenting (to avoid deception and breach of trust) to such fantasies, I don't see a problem with it. It's just not for me, that's all :)

Fantasies fine, to a degree...but I don't want it crossing over into RL

Fantasies fine, to a degree...but I don't want it crossing over into RL

What if you fantasize about climbing a mountain? Don't go do it? I say whatever you fantasize about (bearing in mind it is agreed upon and without force or harm), Just Do It . Otherwise you not only sale yourself short you sale the one you love short by not living life to the fullest with honesty.

What if you fantasize about climbing a mountain? Don't go do it? I say whatever you fantasize about (bearing in mind it is agreed upon and without force or harm), Just Do It . Otherwise you not only sale yourself short you sale the one you love short by not living life to the fullest with honesty.


Meh,

You couldn't handle it.

cant say i have ever thought about some one else when was with some one i loved but provided both are happy about it and know how its going to work out sure why not

What if you fantasize about climbing a mountain? Don't go do it? I say whatever you fantasize about (bearing in mind it is agreed upon and without force or harm), Just Do It . Otherwise you not only sale yourself short you sale the one you love short by not living life to the fullest with honesty. So anything anyone fantasises about should be done? You're odd.

What if you fantasize about climbing a mountain? Don't go do it? I say whatever you fantasize about (bearing in mind it is agreed upon and without force or harm), Just Do It . Otherwise you not only sale yourself short you sale the one you love short by not living life to the fullest with honesty.

wtf? What does climbing a mountain have to do with an issue of 'free love' or shring your partner?

'Don't dream it - be it'

- Dr. Frank N. Furter, the Rocky Horror Picture Show

'Don't dream it - be it'

- Dr. Frank N. Furter, the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Dammit! Janet! I wanna screw!

Simultaneous lovin, baby?

... Could we be on the verge of another 60's but with more direction and less conflict? I sure hope so. Love is free and endless afterall...

Yeah, right. I need to see it to believe it. Where is this "endless love" you're talking about?

I think those kinds of fantasies are lot more fun in your head. Doing such a thing is much more complicated in RL and considerably more so if someone you care for is involved. Threesomes seem like something that's hideously difficult to come out of unscathed unless it involves three people who don't care about how everyone feels the following day.

I think those kinds of fantasies are lot more fun in your head. Doing such a thing is much more complicated in RL and considerably more so if someone you care for is involved. Threesomes seem like something that's hideously difficult to come out of unscathed unless it involves three people who don't care about how everyone feels the following day.

It's not hideously difficult, really. You just have to have three people, confident in themselves, and confident in each other who DO care about how everyone feels the following day.

Is it just the two of you? Are others involved to share your love with? They say that most men (it seems women as well) fantasize about the ones they love and another woman or man to share that love with, is that true? Taboo creates snafu. Could we be on the verge of another 60's but with more direction and less conflict? I sure hope so. Love is free and endless afterall, give it away? Why or why not? This thread was given to you with an open mind.

I was never in the 60s. Child of the 70s myself, but too young to attempt to cash in on the sexual 'thang' until after the big 80s AIDS scare[1] and thus I'm probably a lot more cautious than I would naturally be. Fantasy has no repurcussions, but IRL I'm definitely more repressed and between me and my (regular, long-term) sexual partner, I don't see us pursuing that angle...

[1] In fact, it hit almost at the same time as I had decided I had aced the theoretical test and wanted to move onto the practical one. Perhaps luckily? Had I been born a year or two earlier, I might have been 'on the scene' and thus also the firing line, when the late breaking news about the risks came in... (And I also know now that I had a failing mark in the theoretical after all, but I rank better in both disiplines these days, I think... :))

My wife and I are fairly serious swingers, and have a nice network of playmates. Once you accept that sex and love are two separate things, swinging becomes a simple and exciting pleasure.

Of course, the fact that our third is always another woman makes things easier for me. I never have to deal with the "jealousy" issue...

What if you fantasize about climbing a mountain? Don't go do it? I say whatever you fantasize about (bearing in mind it is agreed upon and without force or harm), Just Do It . Otherwise you not only sale yourself short you sale the one you love short by not living life to the fullest with honesty.
first of all

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH FAITHFULL-FREEDOM??

an adult with responisibilities to growing children does NOT go mountain climbing or do any other extremely dangerous/expensive passtimes.

fantasy is FANTASY and most of them do not belong in reality. its called playing with fire and you end up getting burned.

you only share your beloved if it is OK with you that you LOSE her to whoever she is off playing with. (yes i know one can lose their beloved to another without ever letting her/him play around but its extremely more likely to happen if you are engaging in "free love")

do your experimenting before you enter into a committed relationship. afterwards the price is just too high

It can be difficult if the people involved aren't mature enough to handle it.

you only share your beloved if it is OK with you that you LOSE her to whoever she is off playing with. (yes i know one can lose their beloved to another without ever letting her/him play around but its extremely more likely to happen if you are engaging in "free love")

do you have any evidence for that? personally, i know that my open relationship is far more stable than most of the strictly monogamous relationships i have seen in my life, so i don't think you can draw the conclusion you are trying to draw...as long as all parties are clear on what is going on, i don't think having an open relationship increases or decreases the stability of the relationship.

My wife and I are fairly serious swingers, and have a nice network of playmates. Once you accept that sex and love are two separate things, swinging becomes a simple and exciting pleasure.

Of course, the fact that our third is always another woman makes things easier for me. I never have to deal with the "jealousy" issue...

Quelle delicatesse. Perhaps you'll have no issue...?

I share my Gay Jesus with no one, not even the Pope.

I share my Gay Jesus with no one, not even the Pope.

LOL

I dunno. My dog screws every bitch in town, it works for him. I think I would kinda like that. Just go over to my neighbors house and pork his old lady and leave.

do you have any evidence for that? personally, i know that my open relationship is far more stable than most of the strictly monogamous relationships i have seen in my life, so i don't think you can draw the conclusion you are trying to draw...as long as all parties are clear on what is going on, i don't think having an open relationship increases or decreases the stability of the relationship.
i dont think there have been any real studies done on the issue. yes there have been studies done of serious swingers. but lets face it, those are people who have tried it and LIKED IT. if they didnt like it, they wouldnt DO it. those who didnt like it, stopped. they arent included in the statistics on swingers. they dont swing anymore.

my point being. that if you ARENT in a open or poly relationship NOW. you are taking a very serious risk even suggesting it to your partner. (assuming you are in a committed relationship right now)

most people DO have problems with jealousy, most people dont know themselves well enough let alone their partner well enough to know if such a life would suit them without trying it first. most people arent good enough at communications to make sure that everyone is clear on what is going on

just like mountain climbing, a sport that thousands of people engage in every year without serious injury, you are taking a big risk to try out a fantasy. and yes you have to be willing to lose what you have now. only a fool takes on a new lifestyle without analyzing the risks. if you are in a spot where the risks are minimal and you still are keen on trying it, go ahead. if you have alot to lose, you better think long and hard before you try it.

Just kidding. I don't even like Gay Jesus. With those washboard abs and the flowing, Pert-conditioned locks of Piazza-like hair . . . gimme a break. Couldn't they have come up with a messiah who promoted a more positive body image?

Not gunna happen.

Sorry but watching somebody else with my wife. Ick!

Now we do have a rule that if we could seduce somebody famous(ie fantasy), it would be ok.

Women seem to be really bothered when my wife says "Hey if he can find Gillian Anderson and seduce her? He can have at it"

Besides my wife is Sicilian. She is all I can handle! ;)

first of all

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH FAITHFULL-FREEDOM??

an adult with responisibilities to growing children does NOT go mountain climbing or do any other extremely dangerous/expensive passtimes.

fantasy is FANTASY and most of them do not belong in reality. its called playing with fire and you end up getting burned.

you only share your beloved if it is OK with you that you LOSE her to whoever she is off playing with. (yes i know one can lose their beloved to another without ever letting her/him play around but its extremely more likely to happen if you are engaging in "free love")

do your experimenting before you enter into a committed relationship. afterwards the price is just too high

Some say I have a blind faith, I just consider it absolute faith. Once you live a fantasy and it works out, it no longer is fantasy but RL. We all have different comfort zones and what we want out of life, hopefully there is someone for everyone that shares those same comfort zones. Also I have to say it does take someone that you are a twin in some ways with while an opposite in those others to make things work out right. That way both always have got the others weaknesses covered and the strengths shared. Risk to me is living in fear of what you want out of life. Complete honesty is a good way to achieving your truth.

Can't say I've ever had that fantasy.

Besides...threesome with two chicks? I dunno. I mean, lets face it, guys only have one-maybe two-orgasms as it is. I get the feeling it would end up with him losing it, then trying to quietly stay out of the way while the two girls go at it.

titties
WHERE !!! :eek:

...threesome with two chicks? I dunno. I mean, lets face it, guys only have one-maybe two-orgasms as it is. I get the feeling it would end up with him losing it, then trying to quietly stay out of the way while the two girls go at it.

I agree. It'd be more fun with two guys...

People are able to love more than one person. The fact that we love our friends and family proves that. Romantic love is not limited to just one person either. The fact that, as much as we decry it, infidelity is rampant proves that.

Jealosy because of sexual or romantic love exists because we have been taught that it is only possible to "love" one person. Many people continue to believe this even if it is in direct contrast to experience.

Dishonesty and lying are hurtful and bad. However, as long as all people involved have thought about and accepted that romantic feelings can exist for one than more person and that acting on such feelings in no way diminishes the amount of love or desire felt for any other partner, then there is no reason why love should be limited, provided the sharing is done with openess and honesty.

Some say I have a blind faith, I just consider it absolute faith. Once you live a fantasy and it works out, it no longer is fantasy but RL. We all have different comfort zones and what we want out of life, hopefully there is someone for everyone that shares those same comfort zones. Also I have to say it does take someone that you are a twin in some ways with while an opposite in those others to make things work out right. That way both always have got the others weaknesses covered and the strengths shared. Risk to me is living in fear of what you want out of life. Complete honesty is a good way to achieving your truth.

i must have you utterly confused with the man who found religion, love and god all in the perfect relationship with the perfect woman (for him). these things happen when you dont keep notes on the various stories of the various people on forums. so they get mixed up in my head.

i wonder who im thinking of...

People are able to love more than one person. The fact that we love our friends and family proves that. Romantic love is not limited to just one person either. The fact that, as much as we decry it, infidelity is rampant proves that.

Jealosy because of sexual or romantic love exists because we have been taught that it is only possible to "love" one person. Many people continue to believe this even if it is in direct contrast to experience.

Dishonesty and lying are hurtful and bad. However, as long as all people involved have thought about and accepted that romantic feelings can exist for one than more person and that acting on such feelings in no way diminishes the amount of love or desire felt for any other partner, then there is no reason why love should be limited, provided the sharing is done with openess and honesty.

its not that i dont believe you. it just seems to me to be too theoretical. (besides my personal experience of greatly preferring one person at a time so that i could PRETEND to love a new person the same as the current, but it would be a lie)

its just that it seems all to rely on people being rational, predictable, unchanging as well as open and honest. where are you FINDING these perfect people? all the people i know are all too fallible in all the areas i just mentioned.

if your wife asks you questions like "does this dress make me look fat?" can you REALLY depend on her to be rational when it comes to bringing another person into your bed? you cant even tell her "YES" to that question without her crying for 3 days and you think you can be honest with her about your feelings for another woman?

experimentation is for before you commit yourself. afterwards your beloved (or beloveds) should be able to expect you to keep to your committments.

Nope, I would never share him because we have a sacred bond and trust that, if shared with other people, would lose its meaning.

i must have you utterly confused with the man who found religion, love and god all in the perfect relationship with the perfect woman (for him). these things happen when you dont keep notes on the various stories of the various people on forums. so they get mixed up in my head.

i wonder who im thinking of...

Truth I have met and love God. Truth I am in an awesome relationship with my perfect woman. Truth I have learned that the best things in life are worth sharing. I see more selfishness in not sharing my den than a pen. Experimentation is learning your truth and loving that truth. After all we as humans rarely (if ever) get anything perfect the first time.

Threesomes seem like something that's hideously difficult to come out of unscathed unless it involves three people who don't care about how everyone feels the following day.Or it involves three people who really care about how everyone feels....

an adult with responisibilities to growing children does NOT go mountain climbing or do any other extremely dangerous/expensive passtimes.Er... That's not exactly true. There are thousands of people with kids who do that sort of thing. I don't personally agree with taking your kids up the side of a mountain, but I've seen documentaries about "extreme kids" that included that very thing.

fantasy is FANTASY and most of them do not belong in reality. its called playing with fire and you end up getting burned.

you only share your beloved if it is OK with you that you LOSE her to whoever she is off playing with. (yes i know one can lose their beloved to another without ever letting her/him play around but its extremely more likely to happen if you are engaging in "free love")

do your experimenting before you enter into a committed relationship. afterwards the price is just too highJust because you decide to act on a fantasy does not mean you're going to get burned. That is the rationale of a timid person who is afraid to fully experience life. There is a chance that the relationship will founder, it's true, but there is that chance in any relationship. As for doing your experimenting before you enter into a committed relationship - what do you do to keep it interesting? Sexuality is a vital part of an adult relationship and "doing it once a week under the covers with the light off" is one sure way to kill intimacy with boredom...

i know that my open relationship is far more stable than most of the strictly monogamous relationships i have seen in my life, so i don't think you can draw the conclusion you are trying to draw...as long as all parties are clear on what is going on, i don't think having an open relationship increases or decreases the stability of the relationship.Ditto

my point being. that if you ARENT in a open or poly relationship NOW. you are taking a very serious risk even suggesting it to your partner. (assuming you are in a committed relationship right now)Are you suggesting that people shouldn't talk to their significant other about their relationship and where it's headed? I think that hiding things or keeping things out of discussion is a really bad idea. You need to be able to speak freely to your lover about things like this, not hide things from them.

Besides...threesome with two chicks? I dunno. I mean, lets face it, guys only have one-maybe two-orgasms as it is. I get the feeling it would end up with him losing it, then trying to quietly stay out of the way while the two girls go at it.Doesn't happen in my house. Just because a guy achieves an orgasm doesn't mean that his erection will fail and even if it does, there are other things he can do ;). But seriously, last time we counted (sometimes keeping track can be part of the game :D) we got to about 7 ejaculations in one night, so we're all pretty happy ;)

People are able to love more than one person. The fact that we love our friends and family proves that. Romantic love is not limited to just one person either. The fact that, as much as we decry it, infidelity is rampant proves that.

Jealosy because of sexual or romantic love exists because we have been taught that it is only possible to "love" one person. Many people continue to believe this even if it is in direct contrast to experience.

Dishonesty and lying are hurtful and bad. However, as long as all people involved have thought about and accepted that romantic feelings can exist for one than more person and that acting on such feelings in no way diminishes the amount of love or desire felt for any other partner, then there is no reason why love should be limited, provided the sharing is done with openess and honesty.its not that i dont believe you. it just seems to me to be too theoretical.It's not theoretical, it's pretty much how we run our relationships in this house...
if your wife asks you questions like "does this dress make me look fat?" can you REALLY depend on her to be rational when it comes to bringing another person into your bed?I ask that question all the time :D and have zero rationality probs with other sexual partners :)

The main thing that people have to understand is that everybody involved agrees on how it will go. Discussion and honesty are essential to make something like this work. If you can't discuss what you want and need, then your relationship is in dire straits as it is even without any more participants.

Truth I have met and love God. Truth I am in an awesome relationship with my perfect woman. Truth I have learned that the best things in life are worth sharing. I see more selfishness in not sharing my den than a pen. Experimentation is learning your truth and loving that truth. After all we as humans rarely (if ever) get anything perfect the first time.
oh darlin, if you have found the perfect woman, dont settle for "less" with a 2nd woman just to fulfull a fantasy

and do NOT bring this up with her. if SHE brings it up, (or has brought it up) and you find it a good idea THEN see what you can do about it. dont mess up a good thing. just the suggestion that you might find another woman desirable can spin a relationship out of control. especially if you choose the day your woman is feeling ugly.

if, on the other hand, she does bring it up, make sure she is not trying to trick you into somethng (even good women have bad days) then GO SLOW and dont ever cross over her line of comfort. if both of you are fine with it, then its a great thing. you just have to be very careful.

My wife fantasizes about it. And if she reads this, she will murder me. :(

its not that i dont believe you. it just seems to me to be too theoretical. (besides my personal experience of greatly preferring one person at a time so that i could PRETEND to love a new person the same as the current, but it would be a lie)

its just that it seems all to rely on people being rational, predictable, unchanging as well as open and honest. where are you FINDING these perfect people? all the people i know are all too fallible in all the areas i just mentioned.

if your wife asks you questions like "does this dress make me look fat?" can you REALLY depend on her to be rational when it comes to bringing another person into your bed? you cant even tell her "YES" to that question without her crying for 3 days and you think you can be honest with her about your feelings for another woman?

experimentation is for before you commit yourself. afterwards your beloved (or beloveds) should be able to expect you to keep to your committments.

Some people are only able to sexually love one person at a time, others are capable of loving many. Psychology and biochemstry combine to produce a wide array of results when it comes to human sexuality. For me personally love and sex are totally separate things (which doesn't mean that I have sex with just anyone or don't love the vast majority of the people I eventually do decide to have sex with, it is just that one has no impact on the other).

People aren't rational, unchangable, or predictable either alone or in any relationship. It would be silly to expect that be needed for group relationships. Now open relationships do depend (even more heavily than other relationships) on openess and honesty, both with oneself and with the other people involved. Perhaps because when sexual fidelity no longer counts as a primary 'proof' of love the other aspects of a relationship become more important. A lot of open relationships outlast more traditional relationships. It is not a matter of finding perfect people so much as finding people who think of relationships in a manner conducive to making open relationships work.

Commitment to each other - commitment to be honest, caring, supportive, to be there, etc - do not have to include sexual fidelity. Again, it comes down to the people involved - if a person is the type to transfer the caring and being there to new partners at the expense of the previous ones, then and only then does sexual fidelity become an integral part of commitment in general. Of course one should keep one's committments. But if one enters into a relationship were sexual fidelity isn't the definition of committment then having sex outside that relationship is not breaking a committment.

Expecting someone who entered into a sexually committed relationship (as in the wife bit) to accept the idea of an open relationship is an entirely different matter, since that would be changing the 'rules' of the relationship mid-stream.

You can have orgies if you want... I won't be joining in. Erm... that wasn't supposed to sound how it did. Regardless, I wouldn't want something like that.

Is it just the two of you? Are others involved to share your love with? They say that most men (it seems women as well) fantasize about the ones they love and another woman or man to share that love with, is that true? Taboo creates snafu. Could we be on the verge of another 60's but with more direction and less conflict? I sure hope so. Love is free and endless afterall, give it away? Why or why not? This thread was given to you with an open mind.

FYI, my wife has also been in a continuous relationship with another woman for over 7 years (that woman, in turn, is married to another man as well). I have no problem with this, and no...I've never had sex with my wifes girlfriend.

It all has to do with love and trust. I love my wife enough to give her the freedom to be happy, and I trust her to make decisions that will not harm our family. We have been married 11 years, have three wonderful children together, and both our relationship and our sex life are better today than the day we were married.

That said, it's not for everybody. If your relationship isn't solid and the trust between partners isn't there in the first place, introducing new people into the relationship is a surefire recipe for disaster.

Er... That's not exactly true. There are thousands of people with kids who do that sort of thing. I don't personally agree with taking your kids up the side of a mountain, but I've seen documentaries about "extreme kids" that included that very thing.

Just because you decide to act on a fantasy does not mean you're going to get burned. That is the rationale of a timid person who is afraid to fully experience life. There is a chance that the relationship will founder, it's true, but there is that chance in any relationship. As for doing your experimenting before you enter into a committed relationship - what do you do to keep it interesting? Sexuality is a vital part of an adult relationship and "doing it once a week under the covers with the light off" is one sure way to kill intimacy with boredom...

Are you suggesting that people shouldn't talk to their significant other about their relationship and where it's headed? I think that hiding things or keeping things out of discussion is a really bad idea. You need to be able to speak freely to your lover about things like this, not hide things from them.


It's not theoretical, it's pretty much how we run our relationships in this house...
I ask that question all the time :D and have zero rationality probs with other sexual partners :)

The main thing that people have to understand is that everybody involved agrees on how it will go. Discussion and honesty are essential to make something like this work. If you can't discuss what you want and need, then your relationship is in dire straits as it is even without any more participants.
that YOU can have a certain kind of relationship doesnt mean that the NEXT guy can.

i dont know you and i would never consider disputing that you could have a loving relationship with more than one woman.

look around. you KNOW you are the exception. most women go ballistic if they see their man looking at another womans breasts, let alone having him suggest that she might be invited home. how many men are FINE with having their wife bring another man home?

now pay attention to what i am saying. i am saying that the time to experiment is BEFORE you settle down. it is not fair to have a wife and 2 kids THEN decide that you want to have an open marriage. and furthermore if you want to KEEP your wife and 2 kids its better to just keep it to yourself that you have this fantasy. if BEFORE you settle down, you find 2 women who are keen on this kind of relationship GO FOR IT. thats your business. its complicated but probably has as much chance of working long term as any other sort of serious relationship.

if you need extra people to keep sex from getting boring, you have a problem. there is plenty of "experimenting" you can do that doesnt involve other people.


yes i know that there are big time mountain climbers who have small children. they are selfish bastards who are more interested in their own fun than the future that their children will have after they are dead. as is ANYONE who insists on participating in very dangerous passtimes when they have small children. having a family involves sacrifice. those who are not willing to make that sacrifice are poor parents.

there is honesty and there is honesty. telling your partner a "truth" that makes them feel like crap is perhaps a bad idea. if having another woman is more important than your current relationship, maybe you should end this one before you go looking for another. or at least understand that bringing it up might be the end. you have to calculate the risks before you make a big move like this. if its not important to you that you keep what you have, then take the risk. just understand it IS a risk.

Some people are only able to sexually love one person at a time, others are capable of loving many. Psychology and biochemstry combine to produce a wide array of results when it comes to human sexuality. For me personally love and sex are totally separate things (which doesn't mean that I have sex with just anyone or don't love the vast majority of the people I eventually do decide to have sex with, it is just that one has no impact on the other).

People aren't rational, unchangable, or predictable either alone or in any relationship. It would be silly to expect that be needed for group relationships. Now open relationships do depend (even more heavily than other relationships) on openess and honesty, both with oneself and with the other people involved. Perhaps because when sexual fidelity no longer counts as a primary 'proof' of love the other aspects of a relationship become more important. A lot of open relationships outlast more traditional relationships. It is not a matter of finding perfect people so much as finding people who think of relationships in a manner conducive to making open relationships work.

Commitment to each other - commitment to be honest, caring, supportive, to be there, etc - do not have to include sexual fidelity. Again, it comes down to the people involved - if a person is the type to transfer the caring and being there to new partners at the expense of the previous ones, then and only then does sexual fidelity become an integral part of commitment in general. Of course one should keep one's committments. But if one enters into a relationship were sexual fidelity isn't the definition of committment then having sex outside that relationship is not breaking a committment.

Expecting someone who entered into a sexually committed relationship (as in the wife bit) to accept the idea of an open relationship is an entirely different matter, since that would be changing the 'rules' of the relationship mid-stream.
exactly

now good luck finding 2 men (or whatever) who meet your requirements for a relationship, whose requirements YOU meet, who are fine with sharing, and who get along with each other


you must be WAY more attractive than i am. i have had a hard enough time in my life finding ONE man who meets my requirements and vice versa without waiting around to find 2!

any mutually satisfying relationship that adults want to come up with is FINE. who is to say its wrong? if it works for you it works for you.

all i wanted to point out is that you cant expect a person who wants an exclusive relationship to stick around for a non exclusive one. s/he wont be happy and s/he wont stay. and you will lose what you have for the fantasy that may or may not work out in the future. only the individuals involved can say if its worth the risk.

oh darlin, if you have found the perfect woman, dont settle for "less" with a 2nd woman just to fulfull a fantasy

and do NOT bring this up with her. if SHE brings it up, (or has brought it up) and you find it a good idea THEN see what you can do about it. dont mess up a good thing. just the suggestion that you might find another woman desirable can spin a relationship out of control. especially if you choose the day your woman is feeling ugly.

if, on the other hand, she does bring it up, make sure she is not trying to trick you into somethng (even good women have bad days) then GO SLOW and dont ever cross over her line of comfort. if both of you are fine with it, then its a great thing. you just have to be very careful.

Well if you think about it, a fantasy is your greatest expectation, so why would you never believe in a greatest expectation? I believe in everyone of my greatest expectations especially the one that guides us all. The fantasy I have does not include being with another woman or any other person. We have a mutual desire to share our love with other people, a love that is absolute, a love that can not be broken.

When God says to be yourslef and true to yourself and those you love. That is from the lowest to the greatest to tell the truth so help us God. God is the one that guides us to real strength in its most absolute form.