NationStates Jolt Archive

That's right.

No matter what the story is about or what circumstances are involved, the single best way to ensure that a story is interesting and entertaining is to end it with the phrase "and then they resorted to cannibalism."

Go ahead ... try it ... you'll like it.

On the night Jesus was born, the North Star shone bright in the north, and then they resorted to cannabalism. (good and x-mas'd themed)

A buncha peaceniks did a "lie-in" (or whatever) on the road I take to work. Luckily it was over by the time I had to get to work because they didn't take any food and didn't have any money, and then they resorted to cannabilism.

Hmm, me likes. :)

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.

The children were nestled,
All snug in their beds,
And then they resorted to cannibalism.

I always use "and then I found five bucks."

I always use "and then I found five bucks."

That's a definate classic! :D

Democracy was in shambles. People rushed left and right counting ballots to determine whether Al Gore or George W. Bush won Presidency....and then they resorted to cannibalism.

Democracy was in shambles. People rushed left and right counting ballots to determine whether Al Gore or George W. Bush won Presidency....and then they resorted to cannibalism.

Yeah, but they do that every year...

If you add "if ya know what I mean" at the end of almost anything it sounds dirty...

Anyway lets try yours...

(from a brochure)

"2004 was an astonishing year for BASEF with over 400 participants from 52 schools registering an amazing 288 projects." Then they resorted to canabalism...

Meh, half works.

Peas poridge hot
Peas poridge cold
Peas poridge in the pot
But they still resorted to cannibalism

i found a random sentence from a random page from a random book.

About thirty-five milesabove the junction of the Margeret and Fitzroy Riversthe party was excited to come upon its first indication of white mans penetration in this lonely land-a large white gum marked "WF 22, PA 9, 81"

then they resorted to cannibalism.

Kind of works.

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this continent, a new nation... and then they resorted to cannibalism"

And that's why we're in the bloody mess we are now.

"The comrades all groped about in darkness until Lenin's arrival. And then they resorted to cannibalism."
-Bolshevik Ludmilla Stal

That's right.

No matter what the story is about or what circumstances are involved, the single best way to ensure that a story is interesting and entertaining is to end it with the phrase "and then they resorted to cannibalism."

Go ahead ... try it ... you'll like it.

Kind of reminds me of an old schoolfriend. Whenever anyone told a joke or a story, he'd interrupt the ending with "THEN THEY ALL GOT SHOT WITH MACHINE GUNS!!!".

Having won the battle of Endor, the Ewoks celebrated long into the night... and then they resorted to cannabalism.

I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

Would you like them
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you like them in a house?
Would you like them with a mouse?

I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them
here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you? In a car?
Eat them! Eat them! Here they are.
I would not, could not, in a car.

You may like them. You will see.
You may like them in a tree!

I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?

Not in a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!


I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and spam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Say! In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you,
in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!


You do not like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not, could not,
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
on a boat?

I could not, would not,
on a boat.
I will not, will not,
with a goat.

will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do not like green eggs and ham!
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.


You do not like them. So you say.
Try them! Try them!And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam! If you will let me be,
I will try them. You will see.

Say! I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat...

And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!


So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you, Sam-I-am!

Now let's resort to cannibalism. :)

From the BBC news site:
Israel PM invites Labour to talks
Ariel Sharon says the world is waiting for Israel to pull out of Gaza
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has invited the opposition Labour Party to begin talks on forming a new national coalition government, as well as trying cannabilism.

James Brown has prostate cancer
Godfather of soul James Brown has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will undergo surgery next week.
"I have overcome a lot of things in my life. I will overcome this as well," Brown, 71, said in a statement before resorting to cannabilism.

She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died.

And then they all resorted to cannibalism.

Such good stuff! I forgot to mention that the two can be combined ...

"I found five bucks and then they resorted to cannibalism."

This made me laugh for nearly an hour:

James Brown has prostate cancer
Godfather of soul James Brown has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will undergo surgery next week.
"I have overcome a lot of things in my life. I will overcome this as well," Brown, 71, said in a statement before resorting to cannabilism.

Democracy was in shambles. People rushed left and right counting ballots to determine whether Al Gore or George W. Bush won Presidency....and then they resorted to cannibalism.

that one actually made me laugh

so fed ex kept trying to deliver my packeges whyle i wasnt hame (morons) and i finally went to pick it up at there whachamucallit and then they resorted to canabalism (weak >_<)

ohmygod youre right!

from the end of lord of the rings

at last they rode over the downs, and took the east road, and then merry and pippin rode on to buckland; and already they were singing again as they went. but sam turned to bywater, and so came back up the hill, as day was ending once more, and he went on, and there was yellow light and fire within; and the evening meal was ready, and he was expected. and rose drew him in, and set him in his chair, and put little elanor upon his lap.

he drew a deep breath. "well, im back" he said

and then they resorted to cannibalism.