NationStates Jolt Archive

I mean, why does he have to live forever at the North Pole, and spend his whole life enslaving elves to make toys, and spend his whole Christmas flying around the world at 5,000 mph giving free gifts to little kids he never met.

And what's with this naughty list?

He devalued the contributions of female reindeer by telling all those people that make the Christmas cartoons that at least some of the reindeer who pull his sleigh were male.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), Male Reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen ... had to be a girl.

Make that knocked up female reindeer. . . :eek:

For this he is forced to fly around the world and uhm, eat lots of cookies?????

*this response brought by insomnia induced silliness and the fact I just found out the reindeer factoid thingy

Naturalized of course, but still a Canadian.

If you think about it, it all makes sense really. Nobody hates Santa. He really doesn't do a lot on the world stage or get a lot of propaganda most of the time. What he does do gets big results and makes people happy. Then there's the geography thing.

Come to think about it, I think Satan may be Canadian too...er...sorry, wrong thread. :D

BeanSlave.

He's satan. I mean, first of all, look at his name. He wears red, encourages greed throughout the world, enslaves an entire race, has obvious supernatural powers...

;)

Well, I thought that perhaps Christians and Muslims could agree that he is an apostate figure, a promoter of idol/tree worship.

Maybe that's why he's punished. OR... is he really sending elves everywhere to commit conspiratorial acts.

I mean, just look at The Elves and the Shoemaker.

It could explain the whole Diebold machine thing. There could have been elves under each of the voting machines!

If that's the case, we're in trouble.

And I've always wondered what Cheney would look like in a red suit with a fake beard...

hey, why do they call them "red states"?

He's satan. I mean, first of all, look at his name. He wears red, encourages greed throughout the world, enslaves an entire race, has obvious supernatural powers...

;)
Santa is an anagram for Satan!

He stays up there with Mrs. Claus so nobody finds out that they're just child molesters. You don't actually believe in ELVES do you?!

Naturalized of course, but still a Canadian.

If you think about it, it all makes sense really. Nobody hates Santa. He really doesn't do a lot on the world stage or get a lot of propaganda most of the time. What he does do gets big results and makes people happy. Then there's the geography thing.

Come to think about it, I think Satan may be Canadian too...er...sorry, wrong thread. :D

BeanSlave.

He wears red and white...

And what's with this naughty list?
That's why Santa is so jolly... because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

I mean, why does he have to live forever at the North Pole, and spend his whole life enslaving elves to make toys, and spend his whole Christmas flying around the world at 5,000 mph giving free gifts to little kids he never met.

And what's with this naughty list?

Oh please, everyone knows Santa lives in Finland. (http://www.santatelevision.com/)

i bet santa just sits up all year with mrs. claus doin..:fluffle:..well you no what, all year. I bet that he doesn't even make the toys, the elves died years ago , he just sits down dec. 1st and buys toys on ebay to be put under the tree(delivered o' course!) ;)

Christ mas! there's nothing christ-e about it its just an old guy that flys around the world, half way through he gets drunk of cookies & milk! jesus!

Santa said he'd tell my parents if I didn't 'help' him..... :(

You answer was given:

lives in a desolate location with extreeme temperatures, with his own minions to do his bidding

lures people by greed

wears red

supernatural powers

takes away the "True meaning of Christmas" by making you think its all about presents and decorations

and is played by Tim the Toolman Taylor *shudder*

anagram of Satan!!!! dun dun dunn


I'm glad Will Ferrel escaped.