NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, not in those exact words, but close enough.

Purim is the holiday that celebrates the defeat of Hamaan, one of the earliest fanatically Anti-Jewish insane guys who plotted the death of the entire race.

It's quite a complex holiday and might take a while to summarise. Well, here goes:

1) King Ahasuerus, ruler of Persia, has a drunken party. He demands Queen Vashti dance naked in front of him and his friends. Since most wives don't enjoy stripping for the husbands friends she refused and was subsequently banished.

2) King Ahasuerus has a beauty pagent to find a new Queen and picks Esther, a young and beautiful Jewish girl whose religion is secret.

3) Hamaan, the Kings Prime Minister, passes a law that all subjects must bow down to him when he passes in the street. Esthers uncle, Mordecai, refuses to bow down since Jews bow to God only. Hamaan is pissed.

4) Esthers uncle Mordecai overhears a plot to murder to the King and tells it to Esther who tells the King. The Kings life is thus saved.

5) The King asks Hamaan how he would reward a man who has done a valuable service to the crown. Hamaan, thinking that the King means to reward him, says that the honored man should be dressed in the best of the Royal Robes and paraded throughout the city on the Kings horse and guided by the Kings most trusted servant. The King, taking Hamaans advice, thusly rewards Mordecai and has Hamaan lead the horse throughout the city. Hamaan is even more pissed.

6) Hamaan, telling the King of a dangerous group of people living within the Kingdom who don't follow the laws of the King, dupes the King into giving him permission to exterminate all the Jews in Persia.

7) Mordecai again saves the day by convincing Esther, who risks her very life to do so, to tell the King what's going on and to stop the extermination (She risks her life because nobody, not even the Queen, is allowed into the Kings presence when unsommoned and she could be put to death for approaching him).

8) The Jews are spared and Hamaan himself is hung on the gallows that he had built for the Jews. Specifically, he was hung on the gallow built specifically for Mordecai.

But where the hell does being drunk off your ass come in? Well, in the celebration of Purim (Which is actually a lot like Halloween, with kids dressing in costumes and candy being distributed) there is much eating and merrymaking. Afterall, this is a major celebration. But how merrry do you have to be? It seems that "a person is required to drink until he cannot tell the difference between "cursed be Haman" and "blessed be Mordecai"". No exact drunk level is given, but to not be able to tell the difference between a Hitler-wannabe and the Hero you need to be pretty damn watsed.

Now that is a really cool holiday. All my religion celebrates is the death and birth of some dude from like 500 years ago. Oh well, at least I am Irish. Is it March yet?

No problem with the drinking until confused part.
But back up a little, can we have the wives dance naked, or should they still be banished?

Ok, I'm too lazy to read your whole post, but the title is good enough for me. Unfortunately, we're almost out of booze. :( But I'm sure I can find a way to obey the almighty! You know, cuz I'm just so damn devout.

Purim is a long ways off...

Simchat Torah is another holiday where people get completely drunk of their asses (that was a bit closer -- already passed though).

And since when do jews really need an excuse to get drunk? I mean, Purim is nice and all, but come on. Shabbat's a good enough excuse for me.

Wow, and I thought Catholicism was a religion built on drink.

Nah, see, in Catholicism you drink because it's the blood of Christ. Jews, we drink to get hammered.

Now I want to convert. Do I really have to have a bris?

Odds are you've already been circumcised, it's standard procedure at most hospitals at birth now-a-days. Medical reasons. If you haven't, and you're already past thirteen years old, then they just prick you with a needle to draw one drop of blood. When you're an adult they don't put you threw the pain of an actual circumcision.

Nah, see, in Catholicism you drink because it's the blood of Christ. Jews, we drink to get hammered.
But you see a survey was done of religious people (in Britain at any rate), in general those that considered themselves religious didn't tend to drink a lot. Except for Catholics who identified themselves as such ("In heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here..." St. Shane has such a lovely ring to it)

Odds are you've already been circumcised, it's standard procedure at most hospitals at birth now-a-days. Medical reasons. If you haven't, and you're already past thirteen years old, then they just prick you with a needle to draw one drop of blood. When you're an adult they don't put you threw the pain of an actual circumcision.
Prick you where?

What religion is this for, where do I sign up?

What religion is this for, where do I sign up?
Judaism. And there's good news. According to this thread, if you are a convert over 13 they don't even have to snip the tip!

Judaism. And there's good news. According to this thread, if you are a convert over 13 they don't even have to snip the tip!
If I convert... well, I wouldn't have to anyway, I'm female.

Of course, this would piss off my mother's Greek Ordthox family but please my boyfriend's family...

Nice holiday but I prefer my religion. ^_^ a healthy mix of Zen Buddhism, spirituality, secularism and good old fashion cynical atheism.

Nice to know that they only make kids deal with the pain. Heh.

Prick you where?

I'll give you three guesses.

Think about it for a moment, it's meant to simulate a circumcision.

Nice to know that they only make kids deal with the pain. Heh.

Hey, the kids are drunk. Seriously.

Odds are you've already been circumcised, it's standard procedure at most hospitals at birth now-a-days. Medical reasons. If you haven't, and you're already past thirteen years old, then they just prick you with a needle to draw one drop of blood. When you're an adult they don't put you threw the pain of an actual circumcision. MMMMMMGGGGGGHHHHHHHH? It's standard procedure? I think not. It didn't happen to my brother 2 years ago, and it didn't happen to me, and it didn't happen (I think so……) to my friends. I don't think that circumcision is standard procedure at hospitals. But are we talking Israel?

MMMMMMGGGGGGHHHHHHHH? It's standard procedure? I think not. It didn't happen to my brother 2 years ago, and it didn't happen to me, and it didn't happen (I think so……) to my friends. I don't think that circumcision is standard procedure at hospitals. But are we talking Israel?
Actually it is, or at least was up until recently, common in the USA.

I'll give you three guesses.

Think about it for a moment, it's meant to simulate a circumcision.
I was worried you'd say that.

Whoops, I must have misread the title of this thread. I thought it said, 'David, Get drunk off your ass.'

Oh well, drinking is fun.

It only took me like 10 tries to get my spelling correct! Yay me!

:sniper: :mp5: :gundge: :headbang:

i hate smileys
this holiday sounds strrange and unusual, also screw converting i want no pain no matter how small it may be

:sniper: :mp5: :gundge: :headbang:

n00b.

Purim:You are hereby commanded by God to get drunk off your ass!

Thats all i need to know.......... :D