NationStates Jolt Archive


My cat graduated college with a MBA and a 3.5 GPA

Amall Madnar
07-12-2004, 07:52
Pennsylvania Attorney General Jerry Pappert isn't amused, since Colby is a pet cat and a Plano-based online college allegedly gave the feline a degree for $399.

"I filed this lawsuit to stop a massive illegal spam campaign that not only defrauded consumers and employers, but damaged the reputations of numerous Pennsylvania businesses across 24 counties and a government office," Pappert said Monday.

Pappert's office used the pet cat to investigate an alleged scheme designed to promote and sell bogus online academic degrees.

The civil lawsuit filed Monday named two brothers -- Craig Barton Poe and Alton Scott Poe -- as well as Trinity Southern University and Innovative Cellular and Wireless Inc.

The defendants are accused of fraudulently claiming that Trinity Southern University is a legitimate institution that can issue various degrees.

According to investigators, beginning in January 2004, the defendants transmitted more than 18,000 illegal e-mail messages to promote the sale of online academic degrees.

A Web site link included in the e-mails claimed that for a fee between $299 and $499, consumers could get a bachelor's, master's, executive master's or Ph.D. degree in several fields including English, business administration and biology.

Undercover agents contacted the defendants online to obtain a $299 bachelor's degree in business administration for the cat, Colby Nolan.

The information on the student application claimed Colby completed three courses at a community college and worked at two different retailers as a manager. Colby's previous work experience included food prep at a fast-food restaurant, babysitting and a paper route, said the application.

The school then allegedly informed Colby via e-mail that the work experience qualified Colby to receive an executive MBA, not the bachelor's degree that was requested. (Currently, the school charges $399 for an MBA, plus shipping and handling, according to its Web site.)

The state said within several weeks, the defendants awarded an executive MBA to Colby, along with an official looking diploma with the signatures of the university president and dean.

For an additional $99 fee, investigators said the agent requested the cat's transcript. The document arrived with Colby's graduation date, student number and a GPA of 3.5.

The defendants also allegedly hijacked IP addresses from more than 60 Pennsylvania businesses and the state Senate to promote and sell the degrees, investigators said.

Pappert said the complaint asks the court to compel the defendants to forfeit their right to conduct business in Pennsylvania, as well as pay civil fines and the state's investigation costs.
Pantylvania
08-12-2004, 03:54
further proof that cats are evil
Cisalpia
08-12-2004, 04:01
Close Trinity Southern University!!!
It's one of the reasons that my college (Texas State University) can not use the abbreviation TSU. Instead we have to use TxSt (ugh) or TSU-SM (say it 5 times a day and you'll see how much it sucks).

And yes they did get the name first, as Texas State just changed names from Southwest Texas State University
Keruvalia
08-12-2004, 04:57
Congratulate your cat for me. Has the cat received any job offers? Perhaps there is a future for the cat in the SEC. It would be the logical next step to apply for a position.

What fun that interview would be!

Why stop at a degree? Get the cat a job!
Lunatic Goofballs
08-12-2004, 09:51
Fast Food management! Baby sitting! Paper route! That is one smart cat! :)

Maybe I'm prejudiced, however. I would never let my cat babysit. I love my cuddly little fluffykitty. But I don't trust that evil-eyed furball with my kid. :p