NationStates Jolt Archive

Here is the situation, I have just run out of Bagels. I am sitting in my apartment, in my trouseres w/ no shirt, it is below 0(F or C) outside, and i am broke, and i have no form of transpotaiton(ouside of walking). These all prevent me form getting more bagels. What should I do?

P.S. I am also out of creamcheese.


P.P.S Yes i know this is random. My whole day has been random, might as well play along.

1. Sit at home and don't buy the bagels.
2. Rob your next door neighbor.
3. Ask them politely for money or bagels.
4. Sell your kidney for money, unless you only have one.
5. See if anyone will buy you appendix.
6. Take a walk and look for money on the street, and take consolation in the fact that even if it is freezing cold, it cannot get any colder if they say it's 'twice or three times' as cold, for you cannot multiply 0 y a number and expect anything other than 0 :D

:) Thank You :)

Anyone else got any ideas?

Welll.. with the proper ingredients and equipment you could make your own bagels (doesnt help if you don't already have this though..). *Or* you could create a devious contraption that goes out and gets bagels for you, thus eliminating your need to brave the freezing weather..

Or, you could simply call a friend, tell them to buy you bagels, and then say you'll pay them back?

...Nah, too simple. ;)

Panic?

Welll.. with the proper ingredients and equipment you could make your own bagels (doesnt help if you don't already have this though..). *Or* you could create a devious contraption that goes out and gets bagels for you, thus eliminating your need to brave the freezing weather..

Or, you could simply call a friend, tell them to buy you bagels, and then say you'll pay them back?

...Nah, too simple. ;)


I like devious contra[tions.
*gets out toolbox, lego blacks, and tinker toys, plus roommates bicylce and goes to work*

Panic?
Another valid suggestion.

NS'ers are the greatest. I don't know what I would do without you guys.

If you have some stale rolls you could simulate some bagels by cutting holes in the middle.

Then you could mush up some white hand soap to simulate cream cheese.

Curl up and cry?

kill yourself

eat the pizza instead?

Invade Poland.

Invade Poland.
nice

Substitute other things in for bagels and creamcheese, but don't be gross about it :D.

knock over a vendors cart and steal his cream cheese and bagels.

Moderate you craving for food with sex

Invade Poland.

*Proceeds to invade Poland*

Kill yourself.

Find some Jews, they always have bagels.

Find some Jews, they always have bagels.

yes usually we do. Not a Stereotype though, right? OH by the way, Just get them delivered or invade Riverdale, Bronx NYC. Or Manhatten Eastside it is entirely up to you. But Have fun doing it, cuase it is Hannukah on the 7th so we all want to be happy.
:)

get down and pray

*gets on knees, takes hand and taps head, shoulders and chest in making a sort of circle shape*

I beleive in the donut, the Bagel, and the holy crossainwhich

*Proceeds to invade Poland*

Actually, go to Poland if you have a soft pretzel craving. Mmmmmmmm, or just go to Granowska's or Benna's.

But bagels? Go to the Great Canadian Bagel. They'll give you plenty of cream cheese.

Here is the situation, I have just run out of Bagels. I am sitting in my apartment, in my trouseres w/ no shirt, it is below 0(F or C) outside, and i am broke, and i have no form of transpotaiton(ouside of walking). These all prevent me form getting more bagels. What should I do?

P.S. I am also out of creamcheese.


P.P.S Yes i know this is random. My whole day has been random, might as well play along.


Eat Paper

I can only suggest that you post details of your predicament to some forum where the readers will actually care.

I can only suggest that you post details of your predicament to some forum where the readers will actually care.
Silence, infidel!

Hmm...how to get bagels...

I recommend buying (or stealing, condsidering your current lack of currency) a copy of Half Life 2. You will play it non stop, to the point where eating seems unnessicary, and the concept of doing so abstract.

You will have reached, as some say, Nerdvana.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

It's so nice to have light-hearted, whimsical threads among the way-too-serious and ragingly divided threads that populate the NS forum. Not that being out of bagels is either light-hearted or whimsical.

If you were a Jedi master you could use the Force and get somone to bring you bagel. But that was long ago in a galaxy far far away.

Kill yourself.

I guess that's two votes now.

panic and run around in circles waving your hands over your head.

I just ran out of bagels, what should i do?
Find your Grandmother. Slit her open. Burn her nipples.

You could just replace your appetite for bagels with an appetite for destruction.

Run at a brick wall as hard as you can. Going unconcious and having a broken nose will take your mind off the bagels.

Invade Poland.



I must agree. When in doubt.. invade poland. Its what germany did. If hitler had bagels imagine how the world would be different.

Otherwise.... revert to neandrathalism. If that is even a word.

I must agree. When in doubt.. invade poland. Its what germany did. If hitler had bagels imagine how the world would be different.

Otherwise.... revert to neandrathalism. If that is even a word.
Or better yet: Let your kids go to ballet school. At least then when they don't get bagels they will only invade France.

Run at a brick wall as hard as you can. Going unconcious and having a broken nose will take your mind off the bagels.

CHARGE

1. Decide it's hopeless and masturbate for the next three hours.
2. Keep dorking around on this forum.
3. Put on some clothes, walk to the nearest bank, withdraw money, and then go buy more bagels.
4. Eat something else.
5. Think of something yourself, you lazy ass!

Roll your own.

hay wait is this still open. You should meditate to the point where you can create one in your mind, and after that a little longer till it appears in front of you. :D

"Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yoooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?"

"Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?

Yoooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu gonna make biscuits?"
just think of them then they will be there too! If you want;, of course.

Order in a pizza... then steal it. More food than just stealing bagels! Then you can barter the pizza for bagels to your friends/random passers-by! It's perfect. The only problem is that pesky pizza guy, but you can call the police and say he's a fake harassing you! :p :D

Here is the situation, I have just run out of Bagels... What should I do?

Jump for joy. Personally, having worked in a bagel shop for far too long, no bagels is still one bagel too many.

Jump for joy. Personally, having worked in a bagel shop for far too long, no bagels is still one bagel too many.

Haha.... how can you live without bagels? I'd die... :p

Haha.... how can you live without bagels? I'd die... :p

Believe me, there IS such a thing as too many bagels.


Okay, maybe not cracked peppercorn potato bagels.

The solution comes in many steps, Young Grashopper.
Step 1: Learn the ways of the Jedi. (I reccommend KOTOR)
Step 2: Become a Dark Jedi. (this and step 1 can be switched at need)
Step 3: Use Jedi Mind tricks to force your neighbors to go and get you free bagels.
Step 4: Use Jedi Mind tricks to force your neighbors to go and get you free bagels.
Step 5: Eat the bagels.

Hmm...
That's only 5 steps. Whatever. Just do it!

Prostitute yourself on the streets until you have enough money to buy bagels and creamcheese and then eat to your heart's delight until you die of herpes some old man/woman with a missing limb gave you.

Go sleep and dream about big marshmallows.

You don't have any attachment with your pillow, do you? Good...

Do you have any Pop-Tarts? If you do, eat those instead. Bagels and Pop-Tarts are damn good! In fact, I think I'll eat some Pop-Tarts right now. Yes... I will. The strawberry kind.

Order in a pizza... then steal it. More food than just stealing bagels! Then you can barter the pizza for bagels to your friends/random passers-by! It's perfect. The only problem is that pesky pizza guy, but you can call the police and say he's a fake harassing you! :p :D

What about bagel-bites? Those things are pizza and bagels together.

I do not agree with all this talk about invading Poland...they're nice people...just extremely biased, conniving, and they walk around with shaved heads, trench coats and military-grade boots...scratch that...

What I mean to say is that Canadians are much easier to conquer...I can do it with a pellet gun, fight off their taskforce of a handicapped eskimo and polar bear with a laser attached to its head...

I hve a bagle! you want one? YAY! :D

Here is the situation, I have just run out of Bagels. I am sitting in my apartment, in my trouseres w/ no shirt, it is below 0(F or C) outside, and i am broke, and i have no form of transpotaiton(ouside of walking). These all prevent me form getting more bagels. What should I do?

P.S. I am also out of creamcheese.


P.P.S Yes i know this is random. My whole day has been random, might as well play along.


Accept Jesus Christ and His mercy into your heart and stop eating Menachem's Kosher Devilfood.

I hve a bagle! you want one? YAY! :D
Yes please. You are myhero for the day. Thank you.

*Takes bagel and eats it*

Drop a turd into the toilet. You know you have an extra one in there.

Now fish it out, and curl it into a ring shape.

Put it in the toaster, and voila!

I do not agree with all this talk about invading Poland...they're nice people...just extremely biased, conniving, and they walk around with shaved heads, trench coats and military-grade boots...scratch that...

What I mean to say is that Canadians are much easier to conquer...I can do it with a pellet gun, fight off their taskforce of a handicapped eskimo and polar bear with a laser attached to its head...
I don't know...Canada is full of crazy bear hunters and the like, and they've got those high powered rifles to do it with, eh?

You might need a tank. And a warm coat. But, for the price of that, of course, you could buy a bagel. :)

Walk around in circles for a few weeks until your standing in a bagel.

Moderate you craving for food with sex
This was hillarious.

The only suggestion I have:

Step one: Keep your shirt off, it adds effect. Put on sleeping cap.
Step two: Go to mirror, practice paniced yet joyous looks.
Step three: Wait for someone to start walking by your house.
Step four: Rush to your upstairs (preferably) window and throw it open and stick yourself out of it.
Step five: Frantically yell out, "IS IT STILL HANUKAH??????"
Step six: When the bewildered person says, "Uh, yeah-I guess. Is it?" shout "GOOD, GOOD, THERE'S STILL TIME!" Then start fishing about in your pockets. Pull your hand out as if you are throwing things/can't find money action, yelling "GO, GO FIND THE BIGGEST BAGELS AND CREAM CHEESE YOU CAN FIND, AND TELL LITTLE SHLEPOWITZ(worst off the cuff jewish name ever) THAT IT'LL BE A HAPPY HANUKAH AFTER ALL!!!!"
Step seven: Wait for bagels.

game all day :) :sniper:

Make a burrito instead. Burritos are better than bagels anyway.

Make a burrito instead. Burritos are better than bagels anyway.
Burritos are the best form of food ever.

Burritos are the best form of food ever.
Yep. I just had one. Any time is a good time for a burrito.

Yep. I just had one. Any time is a good time for a burrito.
I need to move to a place that has 24hr burrito bars..

I need to move to a place that has 24hr burrito bars..
Mexico?

Mexico?
Actually, as I understand it authentic mexican burritos are a little different that big ol' Californian burritos. From what I've been told the closest we come is the northern Mexican style, which include dairy products, with some southern influence. I don't like SoCals burritos, but that might be because I don't like SoCal. San Fransico might be it for me, but I dig the hell out of Santa Cruz which has a TON of burrito bars...just not 24hr ones...

The only burritos I've ever had in Mexico were pretty much just meat cooked with some spices. Tex-mex is better than real Mexican food, in my humble opinion.