NationStates Jolt Archive

The way I see it, dating is little more than legalized prostitution covered up in social custom.

The way it seems to work is, Joe and Jane meet. Joe and Jane are attracted to each other. But instead of admitting this, since it would make them feel guilty for having sexual attraction without first going through The Process, they go through a ritualized tradition so that Joe knows exactly what to expect from Jane and vice versa. This involves, far more often than not, Joe (or less often, Jane) shelling out cash to see a movie or eat a meal that ordinarily, he or she wouldn't bother with. After this important part is over with, establishing that the client has paid for the goods (and can continue to do so), only THEN do they allow physical attraction to have it's way.

Then, after a few weeks or months of this, the two lovers can proclaim spiritual connections, personal perfections, love, marriage and undeniable, unique bliss.

Until they meet someone else they're attracted to. The entire process of denial and social sheepdom begins anew.

What do you think?

What do you think?
I think it's unashamedly cynical. Hey ho.

And what's wrong with prostitution if the seller keeps all the money? And is not being forced to do it against her will? And gets what she wants out of the bargain? And is not abused (to her perception) in the process?

What do you think?

I think you need a red hunting cap, Holden.

And what's wrong with prostitution if the seller keeps all the money?
STIs.

i think you dont know anything about dating OR prostitution!

no matter how much money joe spends on jane (or viceversa) he is never guaranteed sex. if joe spends NO money on jane but they end up having sex anyway, that doesnt make either of them cheap. its not a monetary transaction.

a prostitute isnt interested in DINNER. you specify a sexual experience you want, get quoted a price, pay, and get your service. the pleasure of the prostitute is no part of the equation, she doesnt have to LIKE you. she doesnt want you to call the next day to say what a good time you had. she isnt picking out a wedding dress in her head.

Jesus... I'm even not so cynical...

I guess none of you have been in a situation where a woman just wanted to have sex with you - no conditions, no dinner, no wedding dress in her head.

i think you dont know anything about dating OR prostitution!

no matter how much money joe spends on jane (or viceversa) he is never guaranteed sex.

So? Ya know, spending money on prostitutes doesn't guarantee sex either. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

I guess none of you have been in a situation where a woman just wanted to have sex with you - no conditions, no dinner, no wedding dress in her head.

Well that's not what most people call "dating," and it's not what I am referring to when I am talking about dating.

And what's wrong with prostitution if the seller keeps all the money? And is not being forced to do it against her will? And gets what she wants out of the bargain? And is not abused (to her perception) in the process?

Nothing's wrong with it.

But, so many people are deluded into thinking dating is so much more than it is. It's the denial and delusion I dislike, not the act itself. If people were honest and bold and direct, we could probably do away with a large part of what is now known as dating.

Sounds pretty accurate to me.
Would be much simpler if you just picked a wife out of the phonebook.

I guess none of you have been in a situation where a woman just wanted to have sex with you - no conditions, no dinner, no wedding dress in her head.

No, er, not exactly...

*Dials 1-800-STOP-A-RAPE*

Sounds pretty accurate to me.
Would be much simpler if you just picked a wife out of the phonebook.
Or just used a mail-order system...

So? Ya know, spending money on prostitutes doesn't guarantee sex either. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
*rolling my eyes*

true, it could happen that just as you are getting to the sex part, a mac truck smashes through the cheap motel room you are in and all you get is squashed

i dont think that negates my point

if you expect paying for a date to lead to sex, you are going to spend ALOT more money before you get laid.

if sex is all you want, go to a professional.

*rolling my eyes*

true, it could happen that just as you are getting to the sex part, a mac truck smashes through the cheap motel room you are in and all you get is squashed

i dont think that negates my point

if you expect paying for a date to lead to sex, you are going to spend ALOT more money before you get laid.

if sex is all you want, go to a professional.
your logic is undeniable (captain ;) ) but the negative social stigma applied to paying for sex means that this train of thought doesnt even cross most people's minds.

i think you dont know anything about dating OR prostitution!

no matter how much money joe spends on jane (or viceversa) he is never guaranteed sex. if joe spends NO money on jane but they end up having sex anyway, that doesnt make either of them cheap. its not a monetary transaction.

a prostitute isnt interested in DINNER. you specify a sexual experience you want, get quoted a price, pay, and get your service. the pleasure of the prostitute is no part of the equation, she doesnt have to LIKE you. she doesnt want you to call the next day to say what a good time you had. she isnt picking out a wedding dress in her head.

Ding ding ding! Correct answer!

You nailed it. It's not prostitution. Prostitution is a business transaction. Of course, the prostitute isn't even interested in sex. It's a means to an end. She's interested in money. You're interested in sex, which she is willing to provide as part of an exchange. It's amazing how many people confuse the two, though.

*Rolls eyes* I'll go along with your scenario, and point out what's wrong with it.

a) Joe doesn't have to pay for Jane to go see movies/dinner etc. customarily he will, but by no means is he required to.
b) This doesn't mean they will wind up having sex. They may date each other, and find they don't really like each other as much as they thought at first, and break up.
c) If they do wind up getting married having sex/whatever else, then it's out of love. Sex out of love and to have children is NOT the same thing as shelling out cash to have sex for pleasure (or giving sex for money, depending whether you're looking at it from the prostitute or the ****er who's paying her's point of view)
d) Dating/marriage is about alot more than sex.

People dating others just purely for the sex (or things such as "friends with benefits" or whatever the hell people call it) IS just as bad as prostitution, there just happens to be little to no way to enforce that. Prostitution, while it cannot be stopped completely, we could significantly reduce it with stricter enforcement/higher penalties.

What's wrong with having sex just for fun? I repeat, have none of you had sex with a woman who just wanted to have sex? Consenting adults?

I haven't stumbled onto a colony of lepers and Puritans, have I?

What's wrong with having sex just for fun? I repeat, have none of you had sex with a woman who just wanted to have sex? Consenting adults?

I haven't stumbled onto a colony of lepers and Puritans, have I?
hahahahaha
i think your post was dismissed because it didnt fit in with SB's theory of dating (and logically all sex) as a form of prostitution

no ive never had sex with a man i just met. but i know that it IS sometimes done by other people and it belies the notion of sex as barter.

if i had to GUESS, id guess that with that attitude sb never gets sex at all.

no ive never had sex with a man i just met. but i know that it IS sometimes done by other people and it belies the notion of sex as barter.

if i had to GUESS, id guess that with that attitude sb never gets sex at all.

a) i've been on one end of a "friends with benefits" relationship before. yes, people still do that. it's called "college", and sometimes involves alcohol.

b) i concur. SB sounds like an overly cynical and frustrated individual for any variety of reasons, likely involving a woman.