NationStates Jolt Archive

....you fancied someone like crazy (and have done for a year), but are way too embarassed to say anything at all to them, let alone ask them out, and you think they'd say no anyway.
What should i do? i'd appreciate any advice.

The four (!!!!) times this has happened to me, i asked em twice (both said no), was asked once (by that person...but it turned out to be a joke) and just let it die the 4th time (learnt my lesson...or so i thought...i found out after she really really liked me). So i guess just go ask em...if you get shot down, mark it down as lesson learned i suppose...still, if you like em that much, risk it and see what happens, you might be suprised!

hmmmmmm, yeah maybe, because i've turned people down myself and never hated them for it, i might just do that

....you fancied someone like crazy (and have done for a year), but are way too embarassed to say anything at all to them, let alone ask them out, and you think they'd say no anyway.
What should i do? i'd appreciate any advice.
Dont wreck your friendship with this person just because you happen to get horny when you think of them.Infatuation doesnt last for ever you will get over it.

but we haven't really got a friendship as such, and my infatuations lasted roughly 15months so far

I've dealt with this myself. It's terminally frightful at times, but I finally approached her and told her how I felt. I was shot down quite well, and we ended up developing a great friendship out of it. Shagged her a little over a year later. Just the once, mind you, and it was glorious. I'm probably cursed to loathe almost everyone she dates, but we get along, and that's the important thing. I've got little but pleasant memories where she is concerned.

.. hmm.. come to think of it, that's actually happened with two that I've known, with minor variance in their dating habits.

I say go for it, the worst that can possibly happen is being told no, right? Hell, I heard no from them both, and ultimately it still wound up as a no - but there were some great "Yes, YES, YES!" times in there to help smooth it over.

but we haven't really got a friendship as such, and my infatuations lasted roughly 15months so far
Your infatuation for this person is purely physical, talk to them and you will realise you have nothing in common

Sorry but thats what it seems like to me, if you have known them for 15 months but arent friends what is there that would make you think a relationship would happen? If there was any sort of chemistry between you guys you would already have went for it and wouldnt be asking for advice on the internet ;)
Forget about it and go have some fun :)

If you're in love then you have to say something otherwise you might always regret not taking the risk (but it is a risk)

yeahhhhh, i suppose so

....you fancied someone like crazy (and have done for a year), but are way too embarassed to say anything at all to them, let alone ask them out, and you think they'd say no anyway.
What should i do? i'd appreciate any advice.

1) Do you know her or are you admiring from afar?
2) Have you told anyone you know about this?

I have the same issue many many many times, Ive never gone for it and i learnt that a couple of em really liked me, now i cant say ive learnt from my mistakes cos im a wetbag and am too scared of being turned down. Simply go for it shes not a firend u have nothing to lose really. If not that then at least try and build a friendship to move on from.

probably go to ask them out, and chicken out...I did that all four years of high with varied different girls, and then, all of a sudden, towards the end of my senior year, I got up the courage and got shot down.

I've had that problem twice, and both of the times I asked them eventually: both turned out to be succes! You can't win if you don't try. Even if you are rejected, it will be a good experience, as you can move onwards then and get that issue cleared.

The worst thing that'll happen is she'll say 'no'.
I know this sounds trite, but think about it. Is being told 'no' going to really majorly affect your life? Sure you'll feel embarrassed and your self-esteem will take a bit of a short-term hammering, but think long-term.
In 40 years time (hell, in 1 year's time!) will being turned down make the tiniest bit of difference to your life?
But her agreeing might make a difference.
Also look at the broader picture. Asking her out shows the other girls you're available and interested.
I suppose you could always invite her out to a social gathering where it's not a 'real' date cause there'll be lots of other ppl there. That way you can maybe gauge her interest before asking her out on a proper date. And if she turns you down on that, it's not so publically humiliating as being turned down for a date.

I just realised something - why is the opposite of being 'turned down' not being 'turned up'?

For God's sake, be a man and ask her. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, it's not like you're asking a live tiger what she wants for lunch...

is she a good friend of yours or is she just an acquaintance? theres always the possibility that she likes you too but hasn't said anything yet...

my advice to you is go for it, tell her that you like her, and even if she doesn't feel the same way she'll probably appreciate you being honest.

put urself in her shoes- would you prefer to know if someone fancied you or not?

thats my piece, hope its helpful :)

put urself in her shoes- would you prefer to know if someone fancied you or not?

I couldn't do that. High Heels have never suited me.

I couldn't do that. High Heels have never suited me.
but they're so pretty!!!!!

just ask though.

tried em one, walking up stairs...i really don't know why women put up with em, they are nasty things...

....you fancied someone like crazy (and have done for a year), but are way too embarassed to say anything at all to them, let alone ask them out, and you think they'd say no anyway.
What should i do? i'd appreciate any advice.

The embarrasment of being turned down is nothing compared to the torment you will put yourself through if fail to act. When you ask her out have a specific place in mind not "Would you like to do something". Find out what kind of things she likes to do (Roller skating, tennis, naked paintball...no no NOT naked paintball) and invite her to do one of those things.

Unless one of the things she likes to do is swing shovels at guys who ask her out. If so, forget it. :D

Oh, and flatter her, whoever said "flattery will get you nowhere" was NOT a woman. ;)

....you fancied someone like crazy (and have done for a year), but are way too embarassed to say anything at all to them, let alone ask them out, and you think they'd say no anyway.
What should i do? i'd appreciate any advice.

Rape. But since that takes balls to do as well you're SOL.

I couldn't do that. High Heels have never suited me.

No, but I kinda like the height that goes with 'em

To answer the thread question, do what I did. Ignore her for two years and then when you both go your own seperate ways delete her from your mobile, deny your memory of her existence, and try to convince your friends that you've never heard of her before. It's a great hangover/infatuation cure and it really does work!!!

The embarrasment of being turned down is nothing compared to the torment you will put yourself through if fail to act. When you ask her out have a specific place in mind not "Would you like to do something". Find out what kind of things she likes to do (Roller skating, tennis, naked paintball...no no NOT naked paintball) and invite her to do one of those things.

Unless one of the things she likes to do is swing shovels at guys who ask her out. If so, forget it. :D

Oh, and flatter her, whoever said "flattery will get you nowhere" was NOT a woman. ;)

I just realized your post was not gender specific, so if your a girl interested in a guy, the paintball thing is back on the table. Otherwise I'll let it stand. :)

Crash and burn, and enjoy the experience.

The first thing I would do is nothing.

Then the second thing I would do is post on NS forums asking all the l33t playas here what I could do besides nothing.

Then finally, the third thing I'd do is nothing.

....you fancied someone like crazy (and have done for a year), but are way too embarassed to say anything at all to them, let alone ask them out, and you think they'd say no anyway.
What should i do? i'd appreciate any advice.
fuck man that was me two years ago. i didnt do anything and she went her way & i went mine. i regret it like hell tho cos apparently she was single (i was told otherwise :mad: ) and she knew i fancied her, and apparently would have gone out with me for a while (so i have been told)...

my advice: just do it. ask her out! seriously, what is the worst thing that could happen? She says no and you get ridiculed at school or whatever for a while - that'll pass and soon enough everyone will forget and/or leave school to go to college or uni or whatever. Cos you never know, she actually could say yes...

also, don't be a dweeb when u ask her. no Peter Griffin style nervous twitches (asking Phoebe out in Family Guy if ya dont get the reference ;) )... smoke half a joint before and you'll be cool, calm and kinda collected.

having posted the question on a forum, i'd say you have nothig to lose.

Seriously though, I think we've all been in that situation, i say go for it

serously... go for it you dont want to be in that situation trust me... >_<

fuck man that was me two years ago. i didnt do anything and she went her way & i went mine. i regret it like hell tho cos apparently she was single (i was told otherwise :mad: ) and she knew i fancied her, and apparently would have gone out with me for a while (so i have been told)...

my advice: just do it. ask her out! seriously, what is the worst thing that could happen? She says no and you get ridiculed at school or whatever for a while - that'll pass and soon enough everyone will forget and/or leave school to go to college or uni or whatever. Cos you never know, she actually could say yes...

also, don't be a dweeb when u ask her. no Peter Griffin style nervous twitches (asking Phoebe out in Family Guy if ya dont get the reference ;) )... smoke half a joint before and you'll be cool, calm and kinda collected.
Mmm, I would ask. I didn't - I always had this strange idea that she didn't like me, which wasn't true. I had a meal with her a while ago, and we got on really well - but by then it was too late, she had a boyfriend. Sigh...

So get on with it, whilst there is still time!!