NationStates Jolt Archive

Tell me your star sign, and i'll give you your HORRORscope!

Begin!

Scorpio

That one dude...um...december-ish time of year...what was it called again?

Scorpio

You will be anally raped by a psychotic lama. Then Armless pirates will make you use their keyboard... MWAHAHAHAHA!

Thank you for using my service. That will be $20. Next!

Tell me your star sign, and i'll give you your HORRORscope!

Begin!

Taurus!

Tell me your star sign, and i'll give you your HORRORscope!

Begin!
Okay i'm weird, the day leo changes to virgo....
so what do you say?

Taurus!

You will be gored on the horns of a bull, and lose an arm. Today will bring unexpected changes in your life. Embrace them, and look forward to a long life. Do not look directly at the sun.

Okay i'm weird, the day leo changes to virgo....
so what do you say?

You should be leo then.

You will find some loose change on the street. Don't pick it up. It is laced with Anthrax. Don't eat any brocolli for a week, and stay out of the light in a full moon. Terrible things will happen to your family. But expect romance on the half moon.

You will be gored on the horns of a bull, and lose an arm. Today will bring unexpected changes in your life..

Well losing my arm is quite a change in my life, but now I am expecting it so explain that one.

Embrace them.

How, if I have but one arm?

Sagitarius! That's it! I love google!

You should be leo then.

You will find some loose change on the street. Don't pick it up. It is laced with Anthrax. Don't eat any brocolli for a week, and stay out of the light in a full moon. Terrible things will happen to your family. But expect romance on the half moon.

shit, i picked up 20p yesterday, when's the half moon, i need it

Well losing my arm is quite a change in my life, but now I am expecting it so explain that one.

Because it will come from nowhere.

How, if I have but one arm?

I dunno... I just read the tealeaves. Now I suggest you use your legs instead...

Libra!

LOL. Librya.

Because it will come from nowhere.

But nowhere is somewhere.

I dunno... I just read the tealeaves. Now I suggest you use your legs instead...

Are we still talking about the same thing?

Sagitarius! That's it! I love google!

A woman will come up to you in the darkness and snog you. Refuse her proposal if you value your sanity. You will be expected to make a difficult decision this week. Think about the options instead of jumping to a decision. Jupiter will be somwhere in the sky this week, so be weary of your surroundings.

LOL. Librya.

:confused:

I meant libra!

I meant libra!

LOL! :D

A woman will come up to you in the darkness and snog you. Refuse her proposal if you value your sanity. You will be expected to make a difficult decision this week. Think about the options instead of jumping to a decision. Jupiter will be somwhere in the sky this week, so be weary of your surroundings.
A woman? Coming up to me in the darkness? JOY!

Libra!

Moleland has that too. Time to kill two heads with one stone.

One word only: Beware the full moon. Those who bear the sign of Leo will be a threat to you. Expect good times with those who bear the sign of Sagitarius.

What's so funny?

...

You got your signature off "Have I Got News For You?" didn't you?

You got your signature off "Have I Got News For You?" didn't you?

We all know.

You got your signature off "Have I Got News For You?" didn't you?

Yep!:D

Moleland has that too. Time to kill two heads with one stone.

One word only: Beware the full moon. Those who bear the sign of Leo will be a threat to you. Expect good times with those who bear the sign of Sagitarius.

Great my gf is a Leo...wonderful :(

Rarr I have to depart. I appoint Sean 'o Mac to give the horrorscopes from here.

Why do I get raped by a lama and the rest just gets some vague shit?

Rarr I have to depart. I appoint Sean 'o Mac to give the horrorscopes from here.

What me? Why?

capricorn

capricorn

Er... do not judge others or you yourself might be judged.

Random!:d

Er... do not judge others or you yourself might be judged.
real horrorscope... scary shizzle

real horrorscope... scary shizzle
Hey! It's my first time. Ok?

Legless Pirates? Serafima wants to say hi...

i bet she does ;)

What? :?

i bet she does ;)
:D shi shi shi

What? :?

Sorry, got mixed up with latisha. apologies :(

Do mine, do mine!

Aries

[edit] cool two aries at once :D

Aries!

EDIT: Whoa, coincidence on the post before mine?!

Sorry, got mixed up with latisha. apologies

No problem!

Legless pirates, Serafima likes the hats!

No problem!

Legless pirates, Serafima likes the hats!
I know... I'm seeing the TG now

Er... do not judge others or you yourself might be judged.
Too late, I think.

I know... I'm seeing the TG now

Are you quite finished?

Are you quite finished?
yes... I'm a fast reader

Lol!

yes... I'm a fast reader

Right, outside. And I expect a full essay on why I have sent you outside on my desk tomorrow morning.

i'm a gemini -the twins...


does that mean that i've got a split personality?! :eek:

i'm a gemini -the twins...


does that mean that i've got a split personality?! :eek:

Fear not my child. It simply means that you are soon to experience a large amount of pain. Go in peace and fear not.

Legless, I must go so I delegate this thread to you.

Fear not my child. It simply means that you are soon to experience a large amount of pain. Go in peace and fear not.

Legless, I must go so I delegate this thread to you.

aw crap is that why i have a headache???

Fear not my child. It simply means that you are soon to experience a large amount of pain. Go in peace and fear not.

Legless, I must go so I delegate this thread to you.
So I no longer have to do that essay?

aw crap is that why i have a headache???
Be glad you're not about to be raped by a lama.

Leo